My ASD Child

"My (high functioning autistic) child is one of the most wonderful blessings of my life – yet at times, stress may cause me to wonder if he is at the root of my most intense times of irritability and anxiety. I don't like thinking like this. Any tips on how I can reduce my stress while at the same time, care for my son's special needs.?" Let’s be honest. Caring for a child on the autism spectrum can be tiring. On bad days, we as parents can feel trapped by the constant responsibility. The additional stress of caring for a child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger's (AS) can, at times, make a parent feel angry, anxious, or just plain "stressed out." These tensions are a normal, inevitable part of the family, and parents need to learn ways to cope so that they don't feel overwhelmed by them. To see if you are experiencing toxic amounts of parental stress, answer the following questions: Are you often irritable? Are you sufferin

Parenting a youngster with Asperger’s (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) places some unexpected burdens on moms and dads – as well as siblings. The time involved in meeting the needs of a family member on the autism spectrum may leave the parent with little time for the other kids. As a result, there may be consistent tension in the household. Many siblings of an AS or HFA child experience the following stressors: Angry that no one pays attention to them (in their opinion) Being the target of aggressive behaviors from the autistic child Concern over their role in care-taking Concern regarding their parents’ anxiety Embarrassment around peers Frustration over not being able to engage or get a response from their AS or HFA sibling Guilty for negative feelings they have toward their brother/sister Guilty for not having the same problems as their sibling Jealousy regarding the amount of time and attention their mom and dad spend with their sibling Not knowing how to han

"At what point do I cross the line from being an advocate for my child (with ASD) to being an enabler? In other words, when/how do parents do their child a disfavor by 'helping too much'." Parents of a child with Asperger’s (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often have trouble knowing how much to help out their “suffering” youngster at certain times in his or her life. However, if they have “stepped-in” time and time again to over-protect and over-assist their youngster, it often results is serious problems for that child later in life. Moms and dads are not doing their youngster any favors by over-assisting – in fact, quite the opposite. Overprotective parents mean well. After all, it's their job to protect their youngster from harm. But unfortunately, some parents of AS and HFA children go too far. They started out by being their child’s advocate – and this is all well and good – but then they progressed way beyond advocacy to an overprotective parentin

Delays and atypical behaviors related to Aspergers (high functioning autism) are observable in the first 2 years of life. Some babies with Aspergers show less-than-expected interest and pleasure in other people. Infants with Aspergers may share interests and activities less and may even babble less than other infants. Your baby may seem less interested in communicating through sounds or physical gestures, and his speech may be delayed to some extent or robotically copied from books or TV shows. Kids with Aspergers tend to display better attachment to parents than kids with more severe forms of classical autism. However, you may notice that despite your youngster’s bonding with you, he still has difficulty connecting with her peers. Later in childhood, he may be more likely to engage in conversation (although this often is one-way conversation) with you and other adults than with his peers. One mother of an Aspergers child recalls: “My daughter was very much in her own w

Question How can I get help in obtaining services that are supposedly out there and available? My son’s ISSP (IEP) looks fantastic on paper, but in reality, most of the services are not obtainable due to extremely long wait lists or shortage of workers to completely fill the positions. Answer Developing a relationship with your son’s school and creating an acceptable IEP, or Individual Education Plan, is very important. “How Well Does Your IEP Measure Up?” by Diane Twachtman-Cullen and Jennifer Twachtman-Reilly is a book that can help you grow to be a valuable member of your son’s IEP team, giving you insight into the IEP process. You’ll learn about often-neglected areas that should be addressed during the IEP meeting. Your son’s school has obviously been cooperative, working with you and acknowledging his disabilities. However, without follow-through, all you have is a stack of papers. By law, your son is entitled to FAPE or a free, appropriate public education d

In 1944 Hans Asperger, an Austrian physician, described a group of children with normal intelligence that had significant problems in social engagement, unusual and/or restricted interest, and an abnormally strong dislike for particular touch sensations (e.g., the feel of the texture of some clothes). These children could not tolerate the roughness of new clothes or of mended socks. Bathing and having their nails cut were also times of tantrums and stress. Hans Asperger further mentions extreme sensitivity to noise, but at other times the children would also appear to be under responsive to auditory input. He describes an incident where a child appeared to have an unusual response to pain and was said to be “thrilled” when he obtained a wound needing medical attention. Alternately, this same child was described as fearful of falling out of his chair and of fast moving vehicles on the road. The prevalence of motor problems in Aspergers children ranges from 50% to 85%. So, at l

In part 2 of this series, we will look at poor cognitive shifting in parents on the autism spectrum: Research in the area of cognition reports that adults with Asperger's (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) have problems with updating the scope and focus of their attention. This attentional deficit may be due to an inability to reorient attention rapidly, which can be problematic when the mother or father has care and control of younger kids.  Moms and dads need to be able to reorient their attention frequently, and often need to be able to do so under pressure.  Research also suggests that many people on the autism spectrum have a deficit in the shifting of attention (e.g., paying attention to what someone is saying while being distracted by sensory stimuli). This trait affects parenting as well. These deficits blend with other neurological differences of AS and HFA (e.g., sensory hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity), and together they affect the core ta

Adult "Aspies" (i.e., people with Aspergers or high-functioning autism) with Avoidant Personality experience a long-standing feeling of inadequacy due to the lack of social skills that result from mind-blindness. This influences the Aspie to be socially inhibited. Because of these feelings of inadequacy and inhibition, these individuals will often seek to avoid work, school, or any activities that involve socializing or interacting with others (e.g., many young Aspergers adults with Avoidant Personality are still living with their parents and playing video games rather than working, going to college, getting married, etc.). The major problems associated with the Avoidant Personality style occur in social and occupational functioning. The low self-esteem is associated with restricted interpersonal contacts. These Aspies may become relatively isolated and usually do not have a large social support network that can help them weather crises. They desire affection and ac