“Would there happen to be a sort of ‘tip-sheet’ that I could send my son’s teacher, something concise but informative? He has high-functioning autism, and I get the impression that the teacher views him as just another ‘typical’ student, which I can tell you he’s not! He does perform well in many areas, but in others, he is struggling, and it’s in those areas that he gets accused of have behavior problems, but I think in most cases it’s part of his autistic characteristics.”
Feel free to share the following general points with your son’s teacher, which include classroom strategies specifically for students on the autism spectrum:
1. Children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s dislike change, especially when it’s unexpected. Prepare the child for all changes in routine (e.g., assembly, substitute teacher, rescheduling, etc.). Ideally, use a visual schedule to prepare him for change.
2. Students on the autism spectrum have trouble with organizational skills regardless of their intelligence and age. Even a "straight A" child with HFA who has a photographic memory can constantly forget to bring a pencil to class or to remember a deadline for an assignment. In such cases, assistance should be provided in the least restrictive way possible. Strategies may include having the student put a picture of a pencil on the cover of his notebook or maintaining a list of assignments to be completed at home.
3. Kids on the spectrum seem to have either the neatest or the messiest desks or lockers in the school. The one with the messiest desk will need your help in frequent cleanups of the desk or locker so that he can find things. Please remember that he is probably not making a conscious choice to be messy. He is most likely incapable of this organizational task without specific training.
4. These “special needs” young people have problems with abstract and conceptual thinking. Some may eventually acquire abstract skills, but others never will. When abstract concepts must be used, use visual cues (e.g., drawings or written words) to augment the abstract idea. Avoid asking vague questions (e.g., "Why did you do that?"). Also, avoid asking essay-type questions. Be as concrete as possible in all your interactions with the HFA child.
5. If your high-functioning student uses repetitive verbal arguments or questions, you should interrupt what can become a continuing, repetitive litany. Continually responding in a logical manner or arguing back seldom stops this behavior. The subject of the argument or question is not always the subject that has upset him. More often, the child is communicating a feeling of loss of control or uncertainty about someone or something in the environment.
Try requesting that he write down the question or argumentative statement. Then write down your reply. This usually begins to calm him down and stops the repetitive activity. If that doesn't work, write down his repetitive question or argument and ask him to write down a logical reply (perhaps one he thinks you would make). This distracts from the escalating verbal aspect of the situation and may give him a more socially acceptable way of expressing frustration or anxiety. Another alternative is role-playing the repetitive argument or question with you taking his part and having him answer you as he thinks you might.
6. If your class involves pairing-off or choosing partners, either draw numbers or use some other arbitrary means of pairing. As an alternative, you could ask an especially kind student if he or she would agree to choose the HFA child as a partner before the pairing takes place. The child on the spectrum is most often the one left with no partner.
7. If the child does not seem to be learning a task, break it down into smaller steps or present the task in several ways (e.g., visually, verbally, and physically).
8. Do not take misbehavior personally. The HFA student is not usually a manipulative, scheming child who is trying to make life difficult for teachers. Most often, misbehavior is the result of efforts to survive experiences that may be confusing, disorienting or scary. Kids on the spectrum are, by virtue of their disability, egocentric. Also, most of them have extreme difficulty reading the reactions of others.
9. Be aware that normal levels of auditory and visual input can be perceived by the HFA student as too much or too little (e.g., the hum of florescent lighting may be extremely distracting). Consider environmental changes (e.g., removing visual clutter from the room, seating changes if the child seems distracted, etc.).
10. Avoid verbal overload. Be clear. Use shorter sentences if you perceive that the child does not fully understanding you. Although he probably has no hearing problem and may be paying attention, he may have difficulty understanding your main point and identifying important information.
More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:
11. Uneven skills-development is a hallmark of HFA. Assume nothing when assessing skills (e.g., the student may be a math whiz in Algebra, but not able to make simple change at a cash register; he may have an incredible memory about books he has read, speeches he has heard, or sports statistics, but still may not be able to remember to bring a pencil to class).
12. An increase in unusual or difficult behaviors probably indicates an increase in anxiety for the HFA student. Sometimes anxiety is caused by feeling a loss of control. Many times, the stress will only be alleviated when the child physically removes himself from the stressful event or situation. If this occurs, a program can be set up to assist the student in re-entering and/or staying in the stressful situation. When this occurs, a "safe-place" or "safe-person" may come in handy.
13. Use and interpret speech literally. Until you know the capabilities of the HFA child, try to avoid the following:
sarcasm (e.g., saying, "Great!" after he has just spilled a bottle of ketchup on the table)
nicknames
idioms (e.g., ‘save your breath’, ‘jump the gun’, ‘second thoughts’)
double meanings (most jokes have double meanings)
"cute" names (e.g., Pal, Buddy, Wise Guy)
14. Since children on the autism spectrum experience various communication difficulties, it’s best not to rely on them to relay important messages to their parents about school events, assignments, school rules, etc. (unless you try it on an experimental basis with follow-up or you are already certain that the HFA student has mastered this skill).
Even sending home a note for his mom or dad may not work. The child may not remember to deliver the note, or may lose it before reaching home. Phone calls to the parent work best until the skill can be developed. Frequent and accurate communication between the teacher and parent is very important.
"I need some advice on how to handle behavior problems in my child
with ASD, such as how to use the right discipline,
dealing with his obsessions, sibling issues, sleep problems,
school-related problems, and acting-out behavior in public. Thanks!"
Disciplining kids displaying ASD-related behavior will often require an approach which is somewhat unique to that of "typical" kids. Finding the balance between understanding the needs of a youngster with ASD - and discipline which is age appropriate and situationally necessary - is achievable when applying some simple, yet effective strategies. These strategies can be implemented both at home and in more public settings.
General Behavior Problems—
Traditional discipline may fail to produce the desired results for kids with ASD level 1 ("high-functioning autism"), primarily because they are unable to appreciate the consequences of their actions. Consequently, punitive measures are apt to exacerbate the type of behavior the punishment is intended to reduce, while at the same time giving rise to distress in both the youngster and the mom or dad.
At all times, the emotional and physical well-being of your youngster should take priority. Often this will necessitate removing your youngster from a potentially distressing situation as soon as possible. Consider maintaining a diary of your youngster's behavior with a view to ascertaining patterns or triggers. Recurring behavior may be indicative of a youngster taking some satisfaction in receiving a desired response from peers, moms and dads, or teachers.
For example, the youngster may come to understand that hurting another classmate will result in his being removed from class, notwithstanding the associated consequence to his peer. The solution may not be most effectively rooted in punishing the youngster for the behavior, or even attempting to explain the situation from the perspective of their injured peer, but by treating the root cause behind the motivation for the misbehavior (e.g., maybe the ASD youngster can be made more comfortable in class so that he will not want to leave).
One of the means to achieve this may be to focus on the positive. Praise for good behavior, and reinforcement by way of something like a Reward Book, can assist. The use of encouraging verbal cues delivered in a calm tone are likely to elicit more beneficial responses than the harsher verbal warnings that might be effective with "typical" kids. If necessary, when giving directions to stop a type of misbehavior, these should be framed as positives rather than negatives (e.g., rather than telling a youngster to stop hitting his brother with the ruler, the youngster should be directed to put the ruler down).
Obsessive or Fixated Behavior—
Almost all kids go through periods of development where they become engrossed in one subject matter or another, but kids with ASD often display obsessive and repetitive characteristics, which can have significant implications for behavior. For example, if an ASD youngster becomes fixated on reading a particular story each night, she may become distressed if this regime is not adhered to, or if the story is interrupted. Again, the use of a behavior diary can assist in identifying fixations for your youngster.
Once a fixation is identified, it is important to set appropriate boundaries for your youngster. Providing a structure within which your youngster can explore the obsession can assist in then keeping the obsession within reasonable limits, without the associated angst which might otherwise arise through such limitations (e.g., tell your youngster that she may watch her favorite cartoon for half an hour after dinner, and make time for that in her routine).
It is appropriate to utilize the obsession to motivate and reward your youngster for good behavior. Always ensure any reward associated with positive behavior is granted immediately to assist the youngster recognizing the nexus between the two.
A particularly useful technique to try to develop social reciprocity is to have your youngster talk for five minutes about a particularly favored topic after he has listened to you talk about an unrelated topic. This serves to help your youngster understand that not everyone shares his enthusiasm for his subject matter.
Bridging the Gap between ASD and Discipline and Other Siblings—
For siblings without autism, the differential - and what at times no doubt appears to be preferential - treatment received by an ASD sibling can give rise to feelings of confusion and frustration. Often, they will fail to understand why their brother or sister apparently seems free to behave as they please without the normal constraints placed on them.
It is important to explain to siblings of ASD kids and encourage open discussion about the disorder itself. Encouragement should extend to the things siblings can do to assist the ASD youngster, and this should be positively reinforced through acknowledgement when it occurs.
Sleep Difficulties—
ASD kids are known for experiencing sleep problems. Kids with the disorder may have lesser sleep requirements, and as such are more likely to become anxious about sleeping, or may find they become anxious when waking during the night or early in the morning.
Combat your youngster's anxiety by making her bedroom a place of safety and comfort. Remove or store items which might be prone to injure your youngster if she decides to wander at night. Include in the behavioral diary a record of your youngster's sleep patterns. It may assist your youngster if you keep a list of her routine (e.g., dinner, bath time, story and bed time) in order to provide structure. Include an image or symbol of her waking in the morning to provide assurance as to what will happen. Social stories have proven to be a particularly successful tactic in decreasing a youngster's anxiety by providing clear instructions on how part of her day is likely to play out.
At School—
Another autistic characteristic is that kids will often experience difficulty during parts of the school day which lack structure. If left to their own devices their difficulties with social interaction and self-management can result in anxiety. The use of a buddy system can assist in providing direction, as can the creation of a timetable for recess and lunch times. These should be raised with teachers and implemented with their assistance.
Explain the concept of free time to your youngster, or consider providing a separate purpose or goal for your youngster during such time (e.g., reading a book, helping to set up paint and brushes for the afternoon tasks, etc.).
In Public—
Kids on the spectrum can become overwhelmed to the point of distress by even a short visit in public. The result is that many moms and dads with ASD kids simply seek to avoid (as much as possible) situations where their youngster is exposed to the public. While expedient, it may not offer the best long-term solution to your youngster, and there are strategies to assist with outings.
Consider providing your youngster with an iPod, or have the radio on in the car to block out other sounds and stimuli. Prepare a social story or list explaining to the youngster a trip to the shops, doctor, etc. Be sure to include on the list your return home. Consider giving your youngster a task to complete during the trip, or having him assist you. At all times, maintaining consistency is a key concern. It pays to ensure that others involved in your youngster's care are familiar with your strategies and techniques and are able to apply them.
Lastly, don't hesitate to seek support networks for parents with ASD kids, and take advantage of the wealth of knowledge those who have dealt with the disorder before you have developed. The assistance you can gain from these and other resources can assist you in developing important strategies to deal with problems in a manner most beneficial to your youngster.
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
“What advice would you have regarding the most effective teaching methods for young students on the high end of the autism spectrum? I have two ASD students in my class this year (twin brothers).”
First of all, you need to know that Asperger’s (AS) – also referred to as High-Functioning Autism (HFA) – is an autism “spectrum” disorder (i.e., affected children have significantly different abilities and limitations). Before you can prepare for an AS or HFA child in your classroom, you should develop an understanding of the specific child's needs. Prior to the first day of school, review the child's records and look for notes from previous educators that indicate his abilities. Speak to the child's mom and dad and ask them what they feel their son might need to be successful. Meet with the child on the first day of class to become familiar with him and gather information about his needs.
Let’s go into greater detail about the specifics of teaching students on the autism spectrum:
1. Address the AS/HFA student individually at all times (e.g., he may not realize that an instruction given to the whole class also includes him). Calling the student’s name and saying, “I need you to listen to this because this is something for you to do” can sometimes work. Other times, the student will need to be addressed individually.
2. Allow some access to obsessive behavior as a reward for positive efforts.
3. Allowing the student to avoid certain activities (e.g., sports and games) which he may not understand or like. Also, support the student in open-ended and group tasks.
4. Always keep your language simple and concrete. Get your point across in as few words as possible. Typically, it’s far more effective to say, “Pencils down, close your books, and line up for lunch” rather than, “It’s almost time for lunch. Quickly finish your Math assignment. As soon as you’ve finished, close your books and line up at the door. Then after lunch, we’re going outside to study some plants.”
5. AS and HFA kids commonly become fixated on objects. At times, these fixations can draw the child's attention away from classwork. To avoid problems caused by fixation, educators can use the youngster’s fixations as a motivational tool. Seek to link work to the student’s particular interests. For instance, if the child loves reading picture books about trains, gather a large selection of books that fall into this category, and allow the child to read these books only after he has completed his classwork. The desire to return to his train books will encourage the child to stay focused on the task at hand and move through the necessary activities.
6. AS and HFA children are commonly visual learners. Use images whenever possible to assist the child in understanding material. Pairing vocabulary words or other lesson concepts with diagrams or images gives the youngster a visual reference and allows him to commit the information to memory more easily.
7. Avoid over-stimulation. Minimize distractions and provide access to an individual work area when a task involving concentration is given. Colorful wall displays can be distracting for some AS and HFA students. Others may find noise very difficult to cope with.
8. Avoid the use of idioms (e.g., “put your thinking caps on” … “open your ears” … “zip your lips” …etc.). These will leave an AS/HFA child completely mystified and wondering how to do that.
9. Avoid the use of sarcasm. If the child accidentally knocks all your paperwork on the floor and you say, “That’s just great!” …you will be taken literally, and this action might be repeated on a regular basis.
10. Be aware that normal levels of auditory and visual input can be perceived by the AS/HFA child as too much or too little (e.g., the hum of fluorescent lighting is extremely distracting for most children on the spectrum). Consider environmental changes like removing some of the "visual clutter" from the room or seating changes if the child seems distracted or upset by the classroom environment.
11. Don't take “misbehavior” personally. The high-functioning student is not a manipulative, scheming child who is trying to make life difficult for you. Usually misbehavior is the result of efforts to survive experiences which may be confusing, disorienting, or scary. Recognize that the target for the student’s anger may be unrelated to the source of that anger. AS and HFA children are, by virtue of their disorder, egocentric and have extreme difficulty reading the reactions of others. They are literally incapable of being manipulative.
12. Exploring word-processing, and computer-based learning for literacy.
13. Give fewer choices. For example, if the AS/HFA youngster is asked to pick a color, only give him two to three choices to pick from. The more choices, the more confused the youngster will become.
14. Give very clear choices, and try not to leave choices open-ended. You’ll get a better result by asking, “Do you want to practice writing, or do you want to read a book?” …than by asking “What do you want to do next?”
15. If you ask a question or give an instruction and are greeted with a blank stare, re-word your sentence. Asking the child what you just said helps clarify that you’ve been understood.
16. If your class involves pairing-off or choosing partners, either draw numbers or use some other arbitrary means of pairing. You can also ask an especially kind child if she would agree to choose the AS/HFA peer as a partner. This should be arranged before the pairing is done. The child with AS or HFA is most often the person left with no partners. This is unfortunate since these children could benefit most from having a partner.
17. If the high-functioning child uses repetitive verbal arguments or repetitive verbal questions, try requesting that he write down the question or argumentative statement. Then write down your reply. As the writing continues, the AS/HFA youngster usually begins to calm down and stop the repetitive activity.
18. One of the hallmarks of AS and HFA is the affected child’s general detachment and unwillingness to engage in social behavior. Attempts to force the child to complete cooperative activities will likely fail. Instead offer (but don't require) interactive activities. Pushing the youngster to interact with his fellow students will only cause him to detach even more (and may lead to academic struggles).
19. Many schools practice inclusion, which combines AS and HFA children in the same classroom as “typical” children. The idea is that the child on the autism spectrum learns faster and adapts appropriate social behavior by observing his fellow classmates. Peer-tutoring is a one-to-one teaching method often practiced in inclusion schools. In a structured environment, the “typical” child leads the AS/HFA child through a number of tasks with brief instructions.
20. Protect the AS/HFA student from teasing at free times, and provide his classmates with some awareness of his particular needs.
21. Provide a very clear structure and a set daily routine, including time for play.
22. Provide a warning of any impending change of routine, or switch of activity.
23. Understand that some change in the AS/HFA student’s behavior or attitude may reflect anxiety, which may be triggered by even a minor change to routine.
24. Teach specific social rules and skills (e.g., turn-taking, social distance).
25. Teach what “finished” means, and help the child to identify when something has finished and something different has started. Take a photo of what you want the finished product to look like and show the child. For example, if you want the room cleaned up, take a picture of how you want it to look some time when it is clean. The child can use this for a reference.
26. Daily routines should remain the same. There should be no surprises for AS and HFA kids. Use pictures for depicting the classroom schedule. By using pictures that represent a particular activity, the youngster is well aware of what is going to be taught next. If everything becomes predictable for the AS/HFA student, he is able to learn and concentrate more.
27. The curriculum should be planned in such a way that it incorporates the “daily living skills” which will help the AS/HFA youngster to work independently as a grown-up, for instance:
hobbies according to the interest of the youngster
money skills
reading skills
self-care skills
skills related to employment
social behavioral skills
social skills
time management skills
writing skills
28. The classroom environment where the AS/HFA youngster is going to be taught should be very plain, calm and quiet. Avoid putting colorful charts and posters on the walls. Lots of colors often distract the youngster, making it difficult to concentrate. Also, select a particular spot for extra activities. For instance, if you have chosen the space near the back of the room for doing art activities, keep it like that and don't change it. By doing this, the moment you ask the youngster to sit in the back, he will know that it is time for art class.
29. Use “task analysis” (i.e., very specific tasks in sequential order).
30. Using various means of presentation (e.g., visual, physical guidance, peer-modeling, and so on).
Educating a youngster on the autism spectrum can be quite challenging. But, with proper planning and patience, anybody – whether a student aide, teacher, school counselor or principal – can face this challenge.
More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:
• Anonymous said... Organize, organize, organize. As a parent and teacher, I found a chart with the week's homework to write in agenda, daily schedule, competition, group work, everything having its place with binders, pencil boxes (no messy desk), possibly a clock or large timer with count down. Direct language and fair, logical is very important. Don't move the goal post. May not be able to relate one bad behavior with another, so each may need to be explained, then held accountable. Showing progress through percentages. Each kid is different, but once you are able figure what focuses them, they can be great students. Good luck. • Anonymous said... http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2013/08/aspergers-and-high-functioning-autism.html ...This is the best, concise Fact Sheet I have found. I used it last year, and plan to this year. Thank you so much for making this available. It can help with anyone in authority that helps with your child. IE, coaches, Pastors, Other Parents, etc. Thanks. • Anonymous said... 1. Keep in mind that autism affects every person with it differently. Each of those kids could have very different strengths and weaknesses. 2. That being said, visual schedules, reminders before transitions to new activities, and extra organizational help will probably be beneficial for both. Be literal and direct with directions, and take the time to explain things to them when others aren't. Turns of phrase and colloquialisms can be confusing for people with autism. It may also be beneficial to speak with the parents of the students about any sensory sensativites they may have, and for what they usually do to work around them. (Earplugs for hypersensative hearing, or a textured cusion to help with sitting still in their seat, ect.) Good luck this coming school year.
"My 8 y.o. has been diagnosed with autism (high functioning) recently, and before that was diagnosed with ODD. When we have behavior problems with him, it's hard to know if the particular 'misbehavior' is driven by autism or by ODD. How do we tell the difference, and how do we approach the multitude of behavior issues we are having with him?"
It may be tough at times to recognize the difference between a strong-willed or emotional autistic youngster and one with oppositional defiant behavior. Clearly, there's a range between the usual independence-seeking behavior of kids and defiant behavior. It's normal to exhibit oppositional behaviors at certain stages of development. However, your youngster's issue may be more serious if his behaviors:
Are clearly disruptive to the family and home or school environment
Are persistent
Have lasted at least six months
The following are behaviors associated with oppositional defiance:
Academic problems
Acting touchy and easily annoyed
Aggressiveness toward peers
Anger and resentment
Argumentativeness with grown-ups
Blaming others for mistakes or misbehavior
Deliberate annoyance of other people
Difficulty maintaining friendships
Refusal to comply with adult requests or rules
Spiteful or vindictive behavior
Temper tantrums
Oppositional defiant behavior often occurs along with other behavioral or mental health problems such as:
The symptoms of defiant behavior may be difficult to distinguish from those of other behavioral or mental health problems. It's important to diagnose and treat any co-occurring disorders, because they can create or worsen irritability and defiance if left untreated.
Stressful changes that disrupt an ASD youngster's sense of consistency increase the risk of disruptive behavior. However, though these changes may help explain disrespectful or oppositional behavior, they don't excuse it.
Many kids with oppositional defiant behavior have other treatable conditions, such as:
Learning and communication disorders
Developmental disorders
Depression
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder
Anxiety
If these conditions are left untreated, managing defiant behavior can be very difficult for moms and dads – and frustrating for the affected youngster. Young people on the autism spectrum with oppositional defiant behavior may have trouble in school with teachers and other authority figures and may struggle to make and keep friends.
If your autistic youngster has signs and symptoms common to oppositional defiant behavior, make an appointment with your youngster's physician. After an initial evaluation, your physician may refer you to a mental health professional, who can help make a diagnosis and create the right treatment plan for your youngster.
Here's some information to help you prepare for your appointment, and what to expect from your physician:
• Make a list of your youngster's key medical information, including other physical or mental health conditions with which your youngster has been diagnosed. Also write down the names of any medications, including over-the-counter medications, your youngster is taking.
• Take a trusted family member or friend along, if possible. Sometimes it can be difficult to soak up all the information provided to you during an appointment. Someone who accompanies you may remember something that you missed or forgot.
• Write down questions to ask your physician in advance so that you can make the most of your appointment.
• Write down the signs and symptoms your youngster has been experiencing, and for how long.
• Write down your family's key personal information, including factors that you suspect may have contributed to changes in your youngster's behavior. Make a list of stressors that your youngster or close family members have recently experienced and share it with the physician.
Questions to ask the physician at your youngster's initial appointment include:
Are there any other possible causes?
How will you determine the diagnosis?
Should my son/daughter see a mental health provider?
What do you believe is causing my son/daughter's symptoms?
Questions to ask if your youngster is referred to a mental health provider include:
Do you recommend any changes at home or school to encourage my son/daughter's recovery?
Do you recommend family therapy?
Does my son/daughter have oppositional defiant behavior?
Is my son/daughter at increased risk of any long-term complications from this condition?
Is this condition likely temporary or chronic?
Should I tell my son/daughter's teachers about this diagnosis?
Should my son/daughter be screened for any other mental health problems?
What else can I and my family do to help my son/daughter?
What factors do you think might be contributing to my son/daughter's problem?
Being ready to answer your physician's questions may reserve time to go over any points you want to talk about in-depth. You should be prepared to answer the following questions from your physician:
Do any particular situations seem to trigger negative or defiant behavior in your youngster?
Has your youngster been diagnosed with any other medical conditions, including mental health conditions?
Have your youngster's teachers or other caregivers reported similar symptoms in your youngster?
How do you typically discipline your youngster?
How have you been handling your youngster's disruptive behavior?
How often over the last six months has your youngster argued with grown-ups or defied or refused grown-ups' requests?
How often over the last six months has your youngster been angry or lost his or her temper?
How often over the last six months has your youngster been spiteful or vindictive, or blamed others for his or her own mistakes?
How often over the last six months has your youngster been touchy, easily annoyed or deliberately annoying to others?
How would you describe your youngster's home and family life?
What are your youngster's symptoms?
When did you first notice these symptoms?
Treating oppositional defiant behavior generally involves several types of psychotherapy and training for your youngster — as well as for you and your co-parent. If your youngster has co-existing conditions, medications may help significantly improve symptoms.
The cornerstones of treatment for oppositional defiance usually include:
• Cognitive problem solving training. This type of therapy is aimed at helping your youngster identify and change through patterns that are leading to behavior problems. Research shows that an approach called collaborative problem solving — in which you and your youngster work together to come up with solutions that work for both of you — is highly effective at improving oppositional-related problems.
• Individual and family therapy. Individual counseling for your youngster may help him or her learn to manage anger and express his or her feelings more healthfully. Family counseling may help improve your communication and relationships, and help members of your family learn how to work together.
• Parent training. A mental health provider with experience treating oppositional behavior may help you develop skills that will allow you to parent in a way that's more positive and less frustrating for you and your youngster. In some cases, your youngster may participate in this type of training with you, so that everyone in your family develops shared goals for how to handle problems.
• Parent-child interaction therapy (PCIT). During PCIT, therapists coach moms and dads while they interact with their kids. In one approach, the therapist sits behind a one-way mirror and, using an "ear bug" audio device, guides moms and dads through strategies that reinforce their kid's positive behavior. Research has shown that as a result of PCIT, moms and dads learn more-effective parenting techniques, the behavior problems of kids decrease, and the quality of the parent-youngster relationship improves.
• Social skills training. Your youngster also might benefit from therapy that will help him or her learn how to interact more positively and effectively with peers.
Establish a schedule for the family that includes specific meals that will be eaten at home together, and specific activities one or both moms and dads will do with the youngster.
Give effective timeouts.
Limit consequences to those that can be consistently reinforced and if possible, last for a limited amount of time.
Offer acceptable choices to your youngster, giving him or her a certain amount of control.
Recognize and praise your youngster's good behaviors and positive characteristics.
Remain calm and unemotional in the face of opposition.
Although some parent management techniques may seem like common sense, learning to use them in the face of opposition isn't easy, especially if there are other stressors at home. Learning these skills will require consistent practice and patience. Most important in treatment is for you to show consistent, unconditional love and acceptance of your youngster — even during difficult and disruptive situations. Don't be too hard on yourself. This process can be tough for even the most patient moms and dads.
At home, you can begin chipping away at problem behaviors by practicing the following:
• Assign your youngster a household chore that's essential and that won't get done unless the youngster does it. Initially, it's important to set your youngster up for success with tasks that are relatively easy to achieve and gradually blend in more important and challenging expectations.
• Build in time together. Develop a consistent weekly schedule that involves moms and dads and youngster being together.
• Model the behavior you want your youngster to have.
• Pick your battles. Avoid power struggles. Almost everything can turn into a power struggle — if you let it.
• Recognize and praise your youngster's positive behaviors. Be as specific as possible, such as, "I really liked the way you helped pick up your toys tonight."
• Set limits and enforce consistent reasonable consequences.
• Set up a routine. Develop a consistent daily schedule for your youngster. Asking your youngster to help develop that routine may be beneficial.
• Work with your partner or others in your household to ensure consistent and appropriate discipline procedures.
At first, your youngster is not likely to be cooperative or to appreciate your changed response to his or her behavior. Expect that you'll have setbacks and relapses, and be prepared with a plan to manage those times. In fact, behavior often temporarily worsens when new limits and expectations are set. However, with perseverance and consistency, the initial hard work often pays off with improved behavior and relationships.
For yourself, counseling can provide an outlet for your own mental health concerns that could interfere with the successful treatment of your youngster's symptoms. If you're depressed or anxious, that could lead to disengagement from your youngster — and that can trigger or worsen oppositional behaviors. Here are some tips:
Be forgiving. Let go of things that you or your youngster did in the past. Start each day with a fresh outlook and a clean slate.
Learn ways to calm yourself. Keeping your own cool models the behavior you want from your youngster.
Take time for yourself. Develop outside interests, get some exercise and spend some time away from your youngster to restore your energy.
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
My Aspergers son will not get off the computer when asked. How do I know if this “misbehavior” is Aspergers-related – or pure disobedience?
Answer
I don't think it matters in this case. Aspergers (high functioning autism) is a disorder, but not a license to do whatever you want to do. If he wants to get on the computer, then use a timer. Most often, when an Aspergers child is on the computer, the parent says, "You can stay on for 15 minutes,” but then the next day, the parent says, “You have to get off the computer in 5 minutes” …then the day after, “O.K., just 30 more minutes.” This is very inconsistent! The child knows that if it's your opinion of when it stops, he can use emotional blackmail to get you to change your mind. That's why you should get a timer and say, "O.K., you've got 15 minutes, and when the timer goes off, that's the end."
You can get a computer program that you can load onto your computer, and every so often, it flashes a message across the screen saying, "Time to take a break, you've been on this long enough." It's not the parent saying this, the computer says it – and then the Aspergers child believes it! So find one of those programs. It's the timer that says, “You've got to stop” – not you, the parent.
“Why is there a general consensus that children on the autism spectrum (specifically on the high end) should not receive ‘traditional’ discipline that works with most other children? What am I missing here?”
Traditional discipline may fail to produce the desired results for kids with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s, primarily because they are unable to appreciate the consequences of their actions. Consequently, punitive measures are apt to exacerbate the type of behavior the punishment is intended to reduce, while at the same time increasing the anxiety-level of the child.
This paradox is due to some of the traits of the disorder, specifically the following:
Executive dysfunction: An impairment in the higher-order processes that enable us to plan, sequence, initiate, and sustain our behavior towards some goal, incorporating feedback and making adjustments along the way.
Theory of mind deficits: This is an inability to recognize that other people have thoughts, feelings and intentions that are different to one's own, and an inability to intuitively guess what these may be.
Weak central coherence: The inability to bring together various details from perception to make a meaningful whole.
Let’s take a closer look at each of these deficits:
1. Executive function can be defined as the way in which people monitor and control their thoughts and actions. It is actually a broad category that includes such processes as working memory, planning, cognitive flexibility, and inhibitory control. “Inhibitory control” is one aspect of executive function, and is the ability to restrain (or inhibit) potentially interfering responses and to self-regulate in certain situations.
2. Theory of mind is the ability that we all have in order to make sense of the world we live in. Every person's thoughts, knowledge, beliefs and desires make up his or her own unique theory of mind. From the age of around 4 years, “typical” kids understand that other people have thoughts, knowledge, beliefs and desires that will influence their behavior. However, children with HFA and Asperger’s appear to have some difficulties conceptualizing and appreciating the thoughts and feelings of others (i.e., lack of empathy).
It is this “mind-blindness” that may impair these special needs kids to be able to relate to - and understand the behaviors of - others. Mind-blindness also means the child has difficulty in distinguishing whether someone's actions are intentional or accidental. By failing to account for other’s perspectives, children on the spectrum tend to misinterpret their messages. Many of the social-skills deficits observed in children with HFA and Asperger’s may have their genesis in the lack of ability to decipher subtle meaning from the environment.
3. Central coherence is the ability to focus on both details as well as wholes. However, children on the autism spectrum appear to have a heightened focus on details rather than wholes (a cognitive style termed “weak central coherence”). This is the reason why some kids with HFA and Asperger’s have hypersensitive sensory perceptions. The inability to hold information in mind in order to use it later in other tasks is what causes the child to lack central coherence. A lack of cognitive central coherence can easily cause the child to miss the importance of the subtle cues that create meaning in a social context.
How parents can help:
Consider maintaining a diary of your youngster's behavior in order to uncover patterns or triggers. Recurring “bad” behavior may be indicative of a youngster taking some satisfaction in receiving a “desired” response from parents, siblings, peers - and even teachers.
For example, a student on the autism spectrum may come to understand that hurting another student in class will result in his being removed from class (aside from the associated consequence to his peer). The solution may not be most effectively rooted in punishing the youngster for the behavior, or even attempting to explain the situation from the perspective of his injured peer, but by treating the root cause behind the motivation for the misbehavior. In this example, can the youngster be made more comfortable in class so that he will not want to leave it?
One of the means to achieve this may be to focus on the positive. Praise for good behavior, and reinforcement by way of something such as a Reward Book, can help. Positive verbal cues delivered in a calm tone are likely to elicit more beneficial responses than harsher verbal warnings (which may be effective on kids without an autism spectrum disorder).
When giving directions to stop a type of misbehavior, they should be couched as positives rather than negatives. For example, rather than telling the youngster to stop hitting his brother with the ruler, he should be directed to put the ruler down, and then receive verbal praise for following the parent’s request (e.g., “Thank you for doing as I asked. That’s you being respectful of others”).
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
“Is anyone else having a hard time coping with their autistic (high functioning) child? My son, Aiden, is almost 6, and he is very difficult to understand and reprimand. He has been diagnosed with ADHD too. I'm not sure about the ADHD ...I see him with more of "Oppositional Defiant Disorder" with a dash of autism. My husband has a bit of this same issue ...so he and Aiden have major trouble communicating. I’m stuck in the middle. The situation between my son and my husband, and my son and myself is extremely grueling and it is affecting our health and our marriage. Aiden’s older sister is affected as well. Of course we do love our son ....just can't figure out a way to reduce the enormous family stress we are all feeling now! Help!!”
Welcome to the club. Raising a youngster with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger’s (AS) will take a few "tricks of the trade" that parents wouldn't need to have "up their sleeve" were they raising a "neurotypical" (i.e., non-autistic) son or daughter. If you are at your “wits end” and need a few fresh parenting strategies in dealing with behavioral problems, then read on…
1. Don’t believe it when your HFA or AS youngster seems unaffected by discipline. Young people on the autism spectrum often pretend discipline doesn’t bother them. Parents must be persistent with their planned discipline, and consider themselves successful by keeping their “parenting plan” in place. When your son pretends a particular consequence doesn’t bother him, you may be tempted to give up on it, which reinforces his disobedience. Remember, moms and dads can only control their actions, not their youngster’s reactions.
2. Don’t just tell your son the correct way to do something – have him rehearse it too. For example, if he has a habit of slamming the kitchen cabinet after reaching for a snack, have him put the snack back in the cabinet and, this time, close it less forcefully. Then reward him with acknowledgement and praise.
3. Notice and appreciate even small instances of teamwork from your HFA child. Create as many opportunities for positive reinforcement as possible. For instance, if you're working on a household chore, ask your son to hand you the dust rag. When he does what you ask, thank him specifically for his willingness to help out. If he doesn't, simply move on without comment. The goal here is to make your request so easy that he will comply without even thinking about it. Then, for just a second, he will experience the positive feelings associated with being compliant, which will make it more likely that he will comply with tougher requests in the future.
4. Become a “transition coach.” Most HFA and AS kids have difficulty with transitions (e.g., moving from one activity or location to the next). Thus, as your child’s personal coach, (1) discuss well in advance what is expected from him, and (2) have him repeat out loud the terms he just agreed to. Some children need to negotiate for that "can I please have one more minute?" A little extra patience on your part will help avoid a useless tantrum or meltdown.
CLICK HERE for more information on helping with transitions.
5. Many parents of “special needs” children are indecisive about what course of action to take. After all, many traditional parenting techniques backfire when used on autistic kids. Thus, the parent may jump from one parenting strategy to the next without giving any one strategy enough time to be successful. Or, the parent may try a new strategy once and then give up in frustration because it didn’t work. How many times have you said something like, “I’ve tried everything – and nothing works with this child”? So, don’t make the mistake of floating from one parenting tool to another without sticking with one specific tool for a significant period of time. If a particular tool only works 50% of the time, that’s the same as cutting a behavior problem in half (not bad!).
6. Actively look for opportunities to model humility. You probably already know that your son copies some of your behaviors and phrases you use often. So, why not use that to your advantage. When you are wrong, quickly admit this to him. This will demonstrate (a) making amends and (b) that it’s safe to make mistakes. Admitting your mistakes teaches your youngster to respect others. If you’ll do this techniques often, don’t be surprised to hear him sounding exactly like you someday soon (e.g., “I’m sorry mom. I know you told me to feed the cat, but I forgot”).
7. How many times have you said something to your child like, “There you go again – making a big mess.” This downloads in his brain as “I’m a messy person.” As a result, he will continue to be messy as if it were a prescribed behavior. But, you can use this phenomenon to your advantage by employing “reverse psychology.” For instance, “That’s not like you …you’re able to do much better than that.” This line works because your child will live up to – or down to – your expectations. Also, this phrase downloads in your child’s mind as “I am capable.”
8. Frequently use humor to deal with family stress. For instance, one mother of an Asperger’s child would always start singing MC Hammer’s hit song (one of her son’s favorites) entitled “U Can’t Touch This” whenever her son began to muster-up the energy for a tantrum. In many instances, this would throw him off course and short-circuit the tantrum.
9. Don’t fight every battle that comes down the pike – and NEVER try to fight multiple battles at once. HFA and AS kids don't readily comply, so the more requests you issue, the more the opportunities for them to get stuck. Divide the things you want your son to do into 3 classes: Class 1 includes a few mandatory rules, which are usually about safety (e.g., put on your seat belt, don’t hit your sister, no playing with matches, etc.). Class 2 includes issues in which you are willing to negotiate (e.g., a slightly later bed time). Class 3 includes rules that aren't worth causing an argument over (e.g., when your son complains moderately about having to do a chore, yet he complies).
10. When it comes to getting your child to do chores, consider the "hiring a substitute" technique. He can choose to hire someone to do his chore (e.g., by paying a wage of 50 cents he has saved from an allowance), or mutually agree to trade chores with his sister.
When it comes to getting your child to do homework, CLICK HERE for some very crucial suggestions.
11. Understand that the same discipline may not work in all situations because of the unique features of HFA and AS. For example, your child may be having a particularly bad day, and may have a tantrum or meltdown when a privilege is taken away for misbehavior, whereas on a typical day he may respond well. Also, try to blend a combination of several parenting tools to create a more effective discipline.
12. Always remember that HFA and AS children need – and want – structure. In many cases, these children are actually starved for structure, because it helps them feel safe. Having a clear understanding of “the rules of the game” (i.e., what is - and is not - acceptable behavior, the rewards for proper behavior, and the consequences for misbehavior) circumvents confusion and frustration. Write these rules down and post them. In addition, remember that rules have no value for kids on the spectrum unless they are backed up by immediate, yet short-term consequences.
13. One of the worst things you can say to your HFA son is, "If you do that one more time, you’re going to _______ (insert consequence)." He may be irresistibly drawn to do just that, either because you've set an impulse in motion, because he can't deal with the stress of waiting for the other shoe to drop, or because he gets stuck on what you've just said. Instead of specifying “one more time,” say something such as, "I have a number of times in my head, and you're not going to know what that number is. But, when you hit that number, you going to get a consequence." This gives your child a few extra chances if he seems to be trying without going back on a threat, and it gives him a little leeway to know that he can slip-up a time or two.
14. Social stories are great for helping HFA and AS children with their inherent social skills deficits. Because one of the traits of the disorder is the inability to interact normally in social situations, social stories can be employed in a variety of ways in order to model appropriate behavior. Through the use of engaging stories, these young people can learn appropriate and inappropriate responses to situations. The story should be specifically tailored to the individual youngster. By modeling situations familiar to your son, he can be better prepared to react in a socially appropriate way to those same situations in the future.
Social stories typically have 3 clear-cut ways of addressing a particular situation: The first describes who, what, where and why in relation to the situation. The second is a “perspective sentence” that explains how others react to the situation being discussed. And, the third sentence attempts to model an appropriate response. Social stories can be accompanied by music and pictures. Also, rewards can be used when a situation is properly addressed.
CLICK HERE for more information on how to create social stories.
15. When it comes to dealing with your son’s meltdowns, think of him as a train with an “anxiety speedometer.” When that speedometer reaches 80 mph, it’s going to take a long long time to stop that train. Your goal is to keep him from coming anywhere close to 80 mph. Let’s say, for example, you enter the room when your son is at an anxiety level of 55 mph. The stress of a current situation is getting to him. In this case, you will want to slow that train down before it gathers momentum. Laugh, divert, distract, negotiate, or anything else you can think of – and the speedometer should come down to 30 mph (assuming you have skillfully camouflaged your intervention).
CLICK HERE for more information on dealing with tantrums and meltdowns.
Parents of kids with HFA and AS face many problems that other parents don’t. These “special needs” young people are emotionally more immature than their “typical” peers. They may be indifferent - or even hostile - to their parents’ concerns. They often get punished for “misbehavior” when the behavior in question was really related to sensory sensitivities (or some other autism-related trait) that are out of their control. However, by implementing some of the ideas listed above, moms and dads can reduce – and in many cases, eliminate – many of the severe behavioral problems that exist today.
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
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Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning.
Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him,
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As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and
depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.
Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown
temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from
ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child
is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are
totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the
least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into
the next - the meltdown can return in full force.
Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the
autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a
teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an
average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for
even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’
disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.
Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and
he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse
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many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for
teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one
mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do." Click here to read the full article…
Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are
“mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and
intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to
identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits
reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he
or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish,
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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her
“out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress,
anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have
difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults
may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display
symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.