My ASD Child

“I have a 12 year old boy with high functioning autism …we just got the news 2 weeks ago after many years of …'oh it’s this', 'oh maybe this' …so now we're at autism. We are at our breaking point with him. So here goes...  He is very defiant and out of control …he cusses a lot and does inappropriate things …like tonight he peed in a soda can and said his brother did it. When I cleaned his bathroom, he had written ‘f*** you’ on the wall. He has no respect for anything or anyone. He follows NO rules and we can’t get him to do anything. I don’t know what to do or where to go to get help! Where do we even start?” Defiance is a strange animal for sure. What if I told you that your son isn’t trying to be a pain in the ass, but rather using some of these disturbing behaviors as a coping mechanism? 1- Your first step is to investigate and try to discover your son’s underlying insecurities and vulnerabilities. His oppositional behavior starts with feeling insecure.

“Are there some ways to prevent some of the discipline-related problems encountered with children who have high functioning autism, specifically meltdowns associated with receiving a consequence for misbehavior? I say ‘prevent’ because it seems that once my son knows he is going to be punished, it quickly escalates into meltdown, which by then is much too late to intervene. Is there a way for us to ‘predict’ and thus prevent a potential meltdown?” Most parents of kids with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's wait until a problem occurs, and then try to deal with it by issuing a consequence. Consequences can be positive (gaining something desirable) or negative (losing something desirable). Sometimes, consequences are discussed prior to an event, but usually in terms of a motivator: "If you do this, you will gain (or lose) that." Too often, parents use consequences in the middle of a behavior problem (e.g., "If you don't stop that, you’re not going to p

“Why is there a general consensus that children on the autism spectrum (specifically on the high end) should not receive ‘traditional’ discipline that works with most other children? What am I missing here?” Traditional discipline may fail to produce the desired results for kids with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s, primarily because they are unable to appreciate the consequences of their actions. Consequently, punitive measures are apt to exacerbate the type of behavior the punishment is intended to reduce, while at the same time increasing the anxiety-level of the child. This paradox is due to some of the traits of the disorder, specifically the following: Executive dysfunction: An impairment in the higher-order processes that enable us to plan, sequence, initiate, and sustain our behavior towards some goal, incorporating feedback and making adjustments along the way. Theory of mind deficits: This is an inability to recognize that other people have thoughts, fee

“I would like to better understand my son, who is on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum. I want to understand how he thinks, how he interprets what is going on, and how his deficits cause problems. Thanks in advance!” This is a very good question, because a lot of parents of kids on the autism spectrum will rush into action before they have collected enough information and analyzed what is going on. If you do not know the reasons behind the behavior, you may very likely do the wrong thing. If you know what is going on, you can help things go better. Realizing that your son will not be a good observer of his behavior is your first step. The youngster with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger’s (AS) often does not know what to do in a situation. He does not know the appropriate behavior because he doesn't understand how the world works. Or, if he knows a better solution, he cannot use it because he becomes "stuck." ==> How To Prevent Meltdowns a

“Would there happen to be a sort of ‘tip-sheet’ that I could send my son’s teacher, something concise but informative? He has high-functioning autism, and I get the impression that the teacher views him as just another ‘typical’ student, which I can tell you he’s not! He does perform well in many areas, but in others, he is struggling, and it’s in those areas that he gets accused of have behavior problems, but I think in most cases it’s part of his autistic characteristics.” Feel free to share the following general points with your son’s teacher, which include classroom strategies specifically for students on the autism spectrum: 1.  Children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s dislike change, especially when it’s unexpected. Prepare the child for all changes in routine (e.g., assembly, substitute teacher, rescheduling, etc.). Ideally, use a visual schedule to prepare him for change. 2.  Students on the autism spectrum have trouble with organizational skills

“Is it common for a child with autism (high functioning) to have more behavior problems at school than at home? My 13 y.o. son has been getting a lot of time in detention. Can I excuse him from it and not reschedule? A teacher gave him detention for what I consider to be an unfair reason, and she refuses to hear his side. He goes to a public middle school.” RE: “Can I excuse him from it and not reschedule?” You don’t have the authority to exempt your son from the school's disciplinary actions. If there is a problem with a particular disciplinary process (e.g., detention scheduled to be served at a time that creates a hardship for you), you can contact the school's administrative staff to ask for consideration of an alternative date and time for the detention. RE: “Is it common for a child with autism (high functioning) to have more behavior problems at school than at home?” Yes, many children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s do act-out in the classroo

Fixated Personality -- The fixated personality type can be characterized by a preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and the need to control one’s environment (e.g., to have things in a particular order). Some of the symptoms of the fixated personality type may include: compulsion to make lists and/or schedules feelings of excessive doubt and caution obsessive need for cleanliness perfectionism (that may sometimes interfere with task-completion) preoccupation with order and organization preoccupation with remembering and paying attention to minute details and facts rigid following of rules and regulations rigidity or inflexibility of beliefs stubbornness unreasonable insistence that others submit to his way of doing things Some of the specific behavioral manifestations of the fixated personality type among ASD children and teenagers may include: repeatedly checking homework cleaning rituals counting rituals grooming rituals (e.g., hand washing, s