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How to Promote Self-Confidence in Your Child on the Autism Spectrum

Early on, the youngster with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger’s (AS) begins to notice that his peers can do certain tasks easily that are very difficult for him. As a result, he may begin to feel bad about himself. He may receive frequent criticism, or at best, luck warm praise. For example:
  • “You are making progress” (with what exactly?).
  • “You are doing fine” (how fine?).
  • “You are doing better” (better than what?).

Criticism damages self-confidence, and general (i.e., non-specific) praise is often too abstract to be meaningful to concrete thinkers.

By making a regular habit of commenting on the positives, and by offering specific comments on what their HFA youngster is doing well, moms and dads will promote desired behaviors and boost his or her self-confidence. Specific praise includes phrases such as: 
  • “You are listening carefully. I’m proud of you.”
  • “You are sitting properly and looking at me.”
  • “You cleaned the table after dinner.”
  • “You finished the assignment.”
  • “You picked up the bag the lady dropped. Thank you.”
  • “You remembered to bring home the work you have do.”

With specific praise, the “special needs” youngster can be very clear on what behaviors are expected and liked.




==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder
 
Visual, specific “proof of progress” helps the youngster with HFA to notice - and feel confident - about her accomplishments and progress. Charts, check lists with lots of checks, gold stars, home-made certificates, and stickers can be used when the child works hard on tasks:
  • (a) at home (e.g., making her bed, putting the toilet paper into the holder when the last piece is gone, remembering to take out the garbage, setting the table correctly, helping her mom with the shopping, etc.),
  • (b) at school (e.g., keeping her desktop organized, standing quietly in line for lunch, waiting for her turn to talk, etc.).


Moms and dads - and educators - boost the HFA youngster’s self-confidence by seeking-out what he can do well and supporting these strengths to the fullest extent. Whether it is telling stories, selling things, science, photography, nature, inventing, computer work, or art, the “special needs” youngster needs ongoing and frequent support to become the best in his “areas of strength.” This extra support will help the child to value the educational process, and it will help him feel better about himself.

Teaching the HFA child that many people have overcome difficulties to become successful is another valuable way to boost confidence. For example, adventures where the characters got lost or had to fight sharks or other beasts, read or play videos of biographies in which kids or grown-ups have had to struggle to achieve their goals, stories of achieving despite illness or disability, stories of fighting prejudice or unfairness, etc. Kids on the autism spectrum enjoy and benefit from discussing these kinds of challenges.

In addition, when moms and dads can introduce their youngster to highly effective members of society who struggle with various disorders, particularly an autism spectrum disorder, the child can hold her head higher. All members of society who are functioning well with HFA (e.g., athletes, business executives, celebrities, firemen, policemen, etc.) can serve as role models and inspiration for the “special needs” youngster.

When parents and teachers learn to cherish and model diversity, the HFA youngster learns that there are many different ways to think, learn, work, raise kids, and so on. He feels better about himself when he understands that doing things differently, learning differently, and being different is perfectly acceptable – and that differences can enrich our lives. True self-confidence manifests itself when the child is able to do what he wants to do – even if he doesn’t do it the way everybody else does.
 

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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By

Five Crucial Tips for Smart Parents of Children and Teens with ASD


This article will cover:

  1. Understanding the Unique Communication Styles of Autistic Children and How to Nurture Them
  2. Celebrating the Power of Play: Innovative Activities That Engage Autistic Children
  3. The Role of Nature in Fostering Emotional Well-Being in Autistic Kids
  4. Cooking Together: How Involving Autistic Children in the Kitchen Can Boost Confidence and Skills
  5. Embracing the Art of Storytelling: Helping Autistic Children Express Themselves Through Creative Writing


### Understanding the Unique Communication Styles of Autistic Children and How to Nurture Them


Effective communication is a cornerstone of human interaction, yet for many children on the autism spectrum, it can be a complex journey filled with both challenges and opportunities. Recognizing and understanding the various communication styles of autistic children is essential for parents, educators, and peers alike, as it can create a supportive environment where these children can thrive. Let’s delve deeper into the unique ways autistic children communicate and explore strategies for nurturing their development.


#### Unique Communication Styles


1. **Nonverbal Communication**: Among autistic children, nonverbal communication plays a vital role. Many rely heavily on gestures, facial expressions, and body language to express their thoughts and feelings. For example, a child may point to a toy or lean toward something they want rather than saying a word. It’s essential for caregivers to watch for these signals closely; understanding what these nonverbal cues signify can greatly enhance the ability to respond appropriately to the child's needs and desires.


2. **Echolalia**: Echolalia, the repetition of phrases or sentences that a child has heard from others, can often be a significant aspect of their communication. This repetition might seem like plain mimicry at first glance, but it often carries meaning. For instance, a child might repeat a line from their favorite movie during a relevant moment, showcasing their ability to connect language to context. By recognizing echolalia as a functional component of communication, adults can respond with encouragement and use these verbal expressions as a basis for deeper conversation.


3. **Unique Phraseology**: Some autistic children create their own linguistic expressions or phrases to convey feelings, objects, or situations, often using language in a highly literal manner. For example, a child might express excitement for their birthday as “the day when the sun comes out and the cake appears.” By encouraging them to explain their unique terms and phrases, caregivers can foster a richer understanding of their perspective, thereby strengthening their emotional connections.


4. **Visual Communication**: A significant number of autistic children are visual learners and can benefit tremendously from visual tools. These might include pictures, symbols, or written words that illustrate concepts or routines. For instance, developing a visual schedule with images representing daily activities can significantly reduce anxiety about transitions. Such tools help children express their emotions or preferences more clearly, effectively bridging the gap that might exist with verbal communication.


#### Nurturing Communication


Creating an environment that promotes effective communication requires patience, empathy, and a commitment to adapting to each child’s unique style. Here are several targeted strategies to nurture their communication skills effectively:


1. **Active Listening**: Show genuine interest in the child’s attempts to communicate, allowing them to feel heard and understood. Use affirmative body language, maintain eye contact, and respond with appropriate verbal acknowledgments. For example, if an autistic child points to a picture book, engage with them by asking open-ended questions about their favorite characters. This kind of active dialogue encourages them to express their thoughts more freely.


2. **Use Clear Language**: When interacting with autistic children, it is crucial to articulate thoughts using simple, direct language. Avoid idioms or abstract phrases that may lead to confusion. Instead, focus on using concrete terms with familiar structures. For example, if discussing the weather, rather than saying "it's chilly outside," say "the air is cold, wear your jacket." Repetition of key phrases helps reinforce understanding and builds familiarity.


3. **Incorporate Visuals**: The use of visuals can significantly enhance communication for autistic children. Develop a consistent set of visual aids tailored to their specific interests and needs. Consider using emotion cards that depict various feelings (happy, sad, anxious) and encourage the child to select a card that reflects their mood. This not only helps in expressing emotions but can also be utilized in daily discussions to navigate social interactions more smoothly.


4. **Encourage Play and Social Interaction**: Play is a natural avenue for communication development among children. Structured play activities—such as board games or role-playing scenarios—can provide opportunities for verbal and nonverbal interaction. Encourage playdates with peers where casual interaction is encouraged. This social setting can foster natural language use, helping children practice communication skills in a more relaxed environment.


5. **Be Patient and Flexible**: Every child develops at their own pace, and patience is key in nurturing communication skills. Celebrate small victories and provide consistent reinforcement when a child makes an effort to communicate, however that may manifest. Being flexible in your approach allows you to adjust strategies as their skills mature, ensuring that they feel supported throughout their learning journey.


6. **Create a Safe Space for Expression**: Establish an emotionally safe environment where children feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment. Encourage them to share thoughts, feelings, and experiences in their unique ways. Providing prompts, such as "Tell me about your favorite game," can guide discussions without being overly invasive, allowing the child to share as they feel ready.


### Celebrating the Power of Play: Engaging Activities for Autistic Children


Play is an essential facet of childhood, providing a foundation for learning, socializing, and emotional growth. For autistic children, the joy of play can also serve as a powerful tool for understanding their environment and connecting with others. Engaging in thoughtful, innovative play activities not only enriches their lives but also supports their development in meaningful ways. Here, we explore specific, detailed activities designed to capture the interests of autistic children while fostering their unique skills.


#### The Importance of Play in Development


Play offers a myriad of benefits for all children, but for those on the autism spectrum, its advantages can be particularly profound. Through play, children can:


- **Enhance Social Skills**: Engaging in group play prompts interaction, whether it's learning to take turns, share, or initiate conversations with peers.

- **Improve Sensory Processing**: Many autistic children have sensory processing challenges. Play with different textures, sounds, and movements can help them navigate sensory experiences more comfortably.

- **Foster Creativity**: Unstructured play encourages imaginative exploration, allowing children to express themselves in ways that words sometimes fail to capture.

- **Develop Problem-Solving Abilities**: Engaging in games that require strategy or critical thinking fosters cognitive skills and adaptability in dynamic situations.


#### Innovative Play Activities


1. **Sensory Bins**: Create visually engaging sensory bins tailored to your child's interests and sensory preferences. Fill these bins with an array of textures, such as bright colored rice, soft purple beans, or shimmering water beads. Include small figurines, scoops, or even tools like tweezers to promote fine motor skills. As children explore the bins, encourage dialogues about the textures they feel—"What does the rice feel like? How does the water bead move?"—to stimulate both sensory and verbal engagement.


2. **Role Play with Social Stories**: Social stories that illustrate everyday situations can be transformed into dynamic role-playing sessions. Create accessible scripts that depict scenarios like sharing toys or asking a friend to play. By embodying different characters in a social context, children can practice navigating real-life interactions, reducing anxiety and promoting understanding. For instance, narrate a story where a character shares their favorite truck, inviting the child to act out the roles and practice their responses.


3. **Art and Creative Expression**: Set up an art corner stocked with diverse materials such as vibrant finger paints, colored markers, textured papers, and sculpting clay. Encourage children to express their emotions and thoughts through art. When a child creates a masterpiece, engage with them by asking questions about their work—"What inspired you to use blue?" This dialogue helps nurture their communication skills while allowing them to assert their individuality.


4. **Homemade Obstacle Courses**: Design a stimulating indoor or outdoor obstacle course with pillows, hula hoops, and tunnels made of cardboard boxes. Engage children in a fun, interactive way by challenging them to crawl under tables or jump over cushions. Each section can involve a different skill, such as balancing on a line of tape or tossing a ball into a bucket. As they navigate the course, provide encouragement and celebrate their milestones, reinforcing their motor skills and boosting their confidence.


5. **Interactive Storytelling with Props**: Transform storytime into an immersive experience by incorporating puppets, costumes, or thematic props that align with the story's context. For example, while reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar," use a felt caterpillar and colorful fruit props. Invite children to mimic the actions of the characters, which not only enhances their understanding of the narrative but also promotes active participation, making storytelling a lively and educational ritual.


6. **Inclusive Board Games and Card Games**: Choose games that emphasize cooperation and communication, such as “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” or cooperative card games like "Dixit." Adjust the rules to suit the child's abilities, allowing them to lead when they're comfortable. For instance, if the child loves animals, introduce games that feature animal themes, which could encourage conversations about their favorite creatures, thus enhancing language and social skills.


7. **Nature Exploration and Scavenger Hunts**: Organize a nature exploration day where children can immerse themselves in the outdoors. Create a scavenger hunt list with illustrations or photographs of items to find—like different types of leaves, smooth stones, or colorful flowers. Encourage children to use their senses—feeling the texture of bark, smelling flowers, and observing different colors. Such activities not only stimulate curiosity but also foster a sense of adventure and appreciation for nature.


8. **Musical Movement Activities**: Integrate music and movement through dance parties, musical games, or rhythm instruments. Use familiar songs that invite children to participate through actions that match the lyrics. For instance, during "If You’re Happy and You Know It," encourage them to clap, stomp, or spin, facilitating both emotional expression and gross motor skill development. Children can also explore simple instruments like tambourines or shakers, giving them opportunities to create sounds that resonate with their feelings.


#### Cultivating an Inclusive Play Environment


To maximize the benefits of these play activities, it’s essential to cultivate an inclusive play environment:


- **Flexibility and Adaptability**: Tailor activities to the child’s interests and sensitivities. Be observant of their responses and adjust as needed, maintaining a comfortable yet stimulating atmosphere.

- **Routine and Predictability**: Establish consistent routines for playtime. Familiarity can reduce anxiety, allowing autistic children to engage more fully.

- **Encouraging Collaborative Play**: Arrange group activities that promote teamwork and shared experiences, such as building a fort together or completing a puzzle as a team. This social aspect can significantly boost their confidence.

- **Supportive Guidance**: Always provide appropriate support that gently nudges the child toward success, being attuned to their cues for needing help or a pause.


### The Role of Nature in Fostering Emotional Well-Being in Autistic Kids


In an era dominated by screens and urban environments, the essential connection to nature often takes a backseat, particularly for children on the autism spectrum. Engaging with the natural world can serve as a powerful antidote to the challenges these children face, providing them with a sanctuary for emotional healing and growth. Nature's myriad benefits can significantly enhance emotional well-being by reducing anxiety, improving mood, and fostering emotional resilience. This article delves into the detailed ways nature can positively impact autistic children and offers practical suggestions for caregivers and educators to tap into this resource.


#### Nature as a Tranquil Sanctuary


1. **Alleviating Anxiety and Stress**: Various studies underscore the therapeutic effects of nature, showing that it can markedly lower stress and anxiety levels in children. For autistic kids, who often experience heightened sensory sensitivity and anxiety, the calming influence of natural settings—like a serene forest, a gentle stream, or a lush garden—can provide an oasis of peace. The soothing sounds of rustling leaves, the rhythmic song of birds, and the gentle rustle of water can create a serene auditory landscape, helping to ground a child amidst overwhelming sensory input.


2. **Enhancing Focus and Attention**: Engaging with nature has been linked to improved attention spans and cognitive function. For children with autism who may struggle to maintain focus in traditional settings, outdoor activities such as nature hikes, visits to community parks, or exploration of botanical gardens can re-ignite their curiosity. The dynamic, ever-changing environment of the outdoors captures their attention more effectively than the confines of indoor spaces, allowing for moments of engaged learning and discovery.


3. **Facilitating Emotional Expression and Regulation**: Nature serves as an excellent backdrop for enhancing emotional expression. Activities like gardening, bird watching, or crafting with natural materials enable children to express how they feel in a supportive, pressure-free environment. For example, nurturing a plant allows a child to cultivate a sense of responsibility and achievement. Observing wildlife becomes an opportunity for joy and excitement, helping them articulate their feelings and thoughts more freely.


#### Connecting with Nature


1. **Outdoor Play and Exploration**: Prioritizing outdoor play is crucial to fostering a connection with nature. Caregivers can organize nature walks, picnics in parks, or excursions to local nature reserves. Simple yet engaging activities like treasure hunts for different types of leaves, insect observation, or even nature-themed scavenger hunts ignite curiosity and enthusiasm for the natural world, promoting a sense of adventure.


2. **Gardening and Nature Projects**: Establishing a garden can serve as a therapeutic and educational project for autistic children. Whether in a backyard or a community plot, engaging in gardening offers valuable lessons in patience and the reward of nurturing life. Kids can witness the transformation of seeds into plants, providing them with tangible proof of their efforts and encouraging an understanding of the cycles of nature.


3. **Sensory Experiences**: Nature is a sensory-rich domain that provides countless opportunities for exploration. Caregivers can encourage children to engage with various textures, scents, and visual stimuli found in nature. Activities like “nature crafts,” where kids collect different leaves, flowers, or rocks to create artistic displays, allow them to engage multiple senses, enhancing their appreciation for the environment and aiding sensory processing.


4. **Mindfulness in Nature**: Introducing mindfulness practices within the context of outdoor settings can be particularly beneficial. Mindful walking, where children focus on their footsteps and the sensations of the ground beneath them, or guided imagery sessions using sounds of nature (like wind chimes or flowing water) can promote relaxation and emotional regulation. These practices encourage children to become aware of their feelings and develop coping strategies in a serene environment.


5. **Therapeutic Nature Programs**: Many communities offer specialized programs that combine therapy with nature-based activities. Look for outdoor therapy or nature immersion sessions tailored for children with autism. Such programs are designed to engage children in experiential learning while providing support and guidance from professionals accustomed to working with neurodiverse children.

 

#### Fostering an Affinity for Nature


Building a genuine appreciation for the natural world from an early age is vital for emotional development. By incorporating nature into daily routines—whether through tranquil walks in nearby parks, playing in backyards filled with greenery, or simply relishing the beauty of a sunset—caregivers can instill a lifelong connection to the environment. 


#### Creating Nature-Friendly Environments


To maximize the benefits of nature, it's imperative to incorporate natural elements into home and school environments. Schools can design outdoor classrooms or use green spaces to conduct lessons outdoors. Families can enhance their living spaces by creating small nature-inspired corners with indoor plants or outdoor seating where children can enjoy reading or relaxing. These settings foster a habit of reflection and connection with nature.


### Cooking Together: How Involving Autistic Children in the Kitchen Can Boost Confidence and Skills


Cooking is much more than simply preparing meals; it is a rich tapestry of learning, bonding, and fostering independence. For autistic children, engaging in the kitchen can open up a world filled with sensory exploration, skill development, and joyful experiences. By incorporating cooking into their routine, parents and caregivers can significantly enhance their children's confidence and life skills. Let’s explore the multifaceted benefits of cooking together and offer detailed, practical tips for creating a positive kitchen experience.


#### The Benefits of Cooking Together


1. **Sensory Engagement**: The kitchen is a vibrant environment that offers a multitude of sensory experiences. From the gritty texture of flour and the smoothness of butter to the bright colors of freshly chopped vegetables and the enticing scents of spices, cooking invites children to explore and engage with their senses. By letting them touch and smell different ingredients, caregivers can help them identify their sensory preferences and discomforts, paving the way for a deeper understanding of their own sensory processing.


2. **Enhanced Communication Skills**: Cooking together serves as an interactive dialogue between children and caregivers. Whether discussing the steps of a recipe, identifying ingredients, or describing flavors, children learn to articulate their thoughts and questions. Utilizing visual aids—like pictorial recipe cards or written steps—can be particularly beneficial. These tools break down tasks into manageable parts, bridging the communication gap and encouraging children to express themselves more freely.


3. **Improved Motor Skills**: Various kitchen tasks can significantly enhance fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination in autistic children. For instance, whisking batter enhances grip strength and coordination, while pouring liquids helps develop precision. As children practice these tasks—such as kneading dough or using cookie cutters—they gain confidence in their abilities, leading to gradual mastery of more complex skills.


4. **Math and Science Learning**: The kitchen is a great classroom for practical math and science lessons. Measuring ingredients provides hands-on experience with fractions and volume, while observing how cooking alters food—like watching chocolate melt or bread rise—spark a curiosity about science. Discussing baking temperatures and cooking durations introduces children to time management and the concept of sequence in a relatable context.


5. **Increased Independence and Confidence**: Successfully completing cooking tasks instills a sense of achievement in children. They develop skills that foster independence, such as preparing their own snacks or simple meals. This newfound confidence can spill over into other areas of their lives, encouraging them to take initiative and approach challenges with a positive mindset.


6. **Social Skills Development**: Cooking is inherently a social activity that brings people together. Whether working alongside a parent or preparing a meal for family and friends, autistic children learn vital social skills such as cooperation, patience, and sharing. Creating a collaborative atmosphere during cooking sessions helps children practice social interactions in a supportive environment.


#### Tips for Successful Cooking Sessions


1. **Choose Simple, Fun Recipes**: Start with uncomplicated recipes that capture children's interest and enthusiasm. Opt for interactive dishes like personalized pizzas, where they can choose their favorite toppings, or fruit smoothies that allow them to mix and match fruits. These activities not only make cooking enjoyable but also foster creativity as children infuse their personalities into the meals.


2. **Utilize Visual Supports**: Incorporate visual aids such as charts, picture recipes, and color-coded ingredient lists. These resources are effective in guiding children through recipes step-by-step, providing clarity that supports their understanding. Illustrating each stage of the process helps them navigate cooking tasks with greater confidence and independence.


3. **Encourage Personalization**: Allow children to customize their cooking experiences. For instance, when preparing a salad, prompt them to choose their favorite ingredients or create a smoothie bowl with their preferred fruits and toppings. Personalization reinforces a sense of ownership, enabling them to take pride in their culinary creations.


4. **Practice Patience and Flexibility**: Understand that cooking can be a messy, unpredictable process. Establishing a relaxed atmosphere is crucial for fostering enjoyment. If a dish does not turn out as expected or if the child struggles with a particular task, approach the situation with patience and encouragement. Emphasizing the learning aspect of mistakes can help children view challenges in a positive light.


5. **Incorporate Routine**: Establishing regular cooking sessions can create a sense of safety and predictability for autistic children. A consistent schedule allows them to anticipate these family moments, helping make the kitchen a familiar and welcoming space where they can explore their culinary skills and creativity.


6. **Celebrate Achievements**: After successfully completing a dish, take time to reflect on what they learned, enjoy the meal together, and celebrate their achievements, both big and small. Whether it’s through sharing the food with others or discussing the cooking process, acknowledging their hard work enhances their self-esteem and encourages them to keep exploring new recipes.


### Embracing the Art of Storytelling: Helping Autistic Children Express Themselves Through Creative Writing


Storytelling stands as one of humanity's most compelling means of sharing our innermost thoughts, emotions, and experiences with one another. For autistic children, the craft of storytelling can function as a vital channel, enabling them to articulate feelings and ideas that may be challenging to express through spoken language. By engaging in creative writing, these children can explore their imaginations, convey their unique perspectives, and foster connections with others. In this article, we’ll delve into the immense benefits of storytelling for autistic children and provide practical strategies for cultivating their creative writing skills.


#### The Profound Benefits of Creative Writing for Autistic Children


1. **Self-Expression**: Creative writing serves as a liberating outlet for self-expression. It empowers autistic children to articulate their thoughts, emotions, and experiences in a structured and meaningful way. Writing can act as a sanctuary where they can articulate complex feelings, allowing them to navigate their inner worlds with clarity and confidence.


2. **Boosting Confidence**: Completing a writing project, whether it’s a short story, a poem, or even a comic strip, instills a strong sense of achievement. When autistic children can share their completed works—seeing their words transformed into tangible creations—it significantly enhances their self-esteem and self-worth. This newfound confidence can ripple into other areas of their lives, encouraging them to share their ideas and opinions more freely.


3. **Enhancing Communication Skills**: The process of creative writing nurtures crucial language skills, such as vocabulary acquisition, understanding sentence structure, and narrative development. As children experiment with different genres and formats, they gain a deeper appreciation of language usage, enhancing their overall communication abilities.


4. **Emotional Understanding**: Writing stories can help children process their emotions in a unique way. By creating characters that confront situations similar to their own, they can explore complex feelings like joy, frustration, anxiety, and empathy in a safe and controlled environment. This practice not only aids in emotional processing but also cultivates a greater understanding of the emotions of others.


#### Strategies for Encouraging Creative Writing


1. **Start with Visual Prompts**: Since many autistic children are visual learners, utilizing visual prompts can significantly stimulate their creativity. Presenting them with engaging images—such as a mysterious forest scene, whimsical animals, or colorful abstract art—can ignite their imagination, inspiring them to weave intricate narratives based on what they observe. This initial inspiration offers a welcoming platform and reduces the pressure that often accompanies writing.


2. **Utilize Technology**: Leveraging technology can broaden access to storytelling. Programs and apps designed for story creation, as well as voice-to-text software, can enhance the writing experience, making it more engaging and accessible. These digital tools allow children to articulate their thoughts fluidly and provide a platform for creativity that respects their individual communication styles.


3. **Encourage Collaboration**: Engaging in collaborative writing experiences can enrich storytelling for autistic children. Organizing group storytelling sessions, where each child adds a piece to the narrative, fosters social interaction and encourages teamwork. These sessions not only promote language use but also create a sense of camaraderie, helping children bond over shared creativity.


4. **Provide Structure**: Children on the autism spectrum often thrive with routine and structure. Introducing straightforward story structures—such as the classic beginning, middle, and end format—can help them organize their thoughts more effectively. For instance, utilizing story maps that outline key elements like characters, settings, and conflicts gives them a roadmap to follow, reducing feelings of overwhelm and allowing them to focus on their imaginative ideas.


5. **Celebrate Their Work**: Recognizing and celebrating the stories children create is crucial. This can be achieved through writing displays in the classroom, organizing story readings for family and friends, or even compiling a mini-book collection of their stories. Acknowledging their efforts reinforces the worth of their unique contributions, encouraging continued exploration of their creativity.


6. **Foster a Safe Environment**: Creating a supportive and nurturing environment for writing is fundamental. Ensure that children feel valued and encouraged by prompting them to share their stories with openness. Responding positively to their creative expressions, regardless of the narrative's polished quality, cultivates a safe space where they feel comfortable taking risks and expressing themselves freely.


Creative writing has the potential to be a transformative experience for autistic children, offering them an invaluable medium to articulate their identities and perspectives. By embracing the art of storytelling, we can support these young writers in developing their communication skills while fostering confidence, creativity, and emotional understanding. As parents, educators, and caregivers, we hold the privilege and responsibility of guiding these budding storytellers, helping them navigate their narratives in a world eager to hear their unique voices.


 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

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By

Fostering the Development of Self-Reliance in Kids and Teens with ASD Level 1

"At what point do I cross the line from being an advocate for my child (with ASD) to being an enabler? In other words, when/how do parents do their child a disfavor by 'helping too much'."

Parents of a child with Asperger’s (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often have trouble knowing how much to help out their “suffering” youngster at certain times in his or her life. However, if they have “stepped-in” time and time again to over-protect and over-assist their youngster, it often results is serious problems for that child later in life. Moms and dads are not doing their youngster any favors by over-assisting – in fact, quite the opposite.

Overprotective parents mean well. After all, it's their job to protect their youngster from harm. But unfortunately, some parents of AS and HFA children go too far. They started out by being their child’s advocate – and this is all well and good – but then they progressed way beyond advocacy to an overprotective parenting style. They figured the more hands-on and involved they are in their “special needs” child’s life, the better – but this is definitely not true.



Some early signs of overprotective parenting include the following: 
  • Being quick to punish transgressions
  • Expectations that the youngster understand adult rules of deference and demeanor
  • Having strict rules of neatness, which do not allow the youngster to get dirt on his clothes or on himself
  • Having unnecessarily strict rules (e.g., remaining in the same room with the mother or father at all times, even at age 5 or 6)
  • Highly structured rules that try to cover every phase of the youngster’s life
  • Immediately running to examine the youngster when she has a simple fall that produces no distress; if a whimper is the worst result, the mother or father may have candy or a toy ready for comfort
  • Over-dependence on a system of rewards and punishments
  • Over-emphasis of academic success
  • Protection from all harm whether physical or emotional

==> Launching Adult Children With Aspergers and HFA: How To Promote Self-Reliance

Adult Children with Aspergers and Their Over-Protective Parents 



What are some of the negative outcomes related to an overprotective parenting style? Here are just a few:

1. A grown-up gains confidence by working hard and mastering whatever it is he or she seeks to accomplish – and a child gains confidence the same way. But if an overprotective parent (who hates to see her AS or HFA youngster struggle) does tasks FOR him, the child is not given the opportunity to develop his own skills. Thus, he risks going through life with little or no confidence. An overprotective parent inadvertently sends the message that her youngster is not capable of doing an adequate job, or that she doesn't trust her youngster to make the right decisions.

2. One of the most important jobs a parent has is to prepare her youngster to be an independent and productive adult. But an overprotective parent can't let go – even after her older teen or young adult has left home to attend college. Some moms and dads negotiate work contracts on behalf of their “special needs” adult child. And the most extreme parents even attend job interviews with their adult child, which rarely impresses any potential employer.

3. An overprotective parenting style can cause the lack of the development of self-esteem in the AS or HFA youngster. This is because he is not allowed to face challenges without parental intervention. Part of the development of self-esteem in kids comes from surmounting challenges on their own, which can be denied to them by an overprotective mother or father.
 

4. When a parent does too much “safeguarding” in an effort to make her youngster’s life stress-free, it usually has the opposite effect. The overly-protected youngster eventually becomes depressed and suffers anxiety that he attributes to the obsessed parent. Instead of creating a happy and stress-free environment, the overprotective parent often accomplishes the opposite.

5. An overly protected child may feel that if his parents don’t trust him with the freedom to make mistakes and tackle problems on his own, then he may not have the ability to succeed in life without continued guidance.

So, what can parents do if they have been overly protective down through the years?

They should begin to foster the development of self-reliance in their child, rather than parental-reliance. For kids with AS and HFA, acquiring skills related to self-reliance is especially important. This is because their ability to express themselves clearly or interact with others may look different than what other kids typically do. Some grown-ups may mistakenly provide more support for a youngster on the autism spectrum than she actually needs. When a youngster is consistently prevented from taking even small risks, she will learn to feel helpless and dependent, rather than self-reliant.

Self-reliance is not about letting the child make every single decision that affects his life (e.g., what time to go to bed, deciding not to wear a coat in the winter time, etc.). Kids need very clear expectations, protection from harm, and loving guidance. Self-reliance is about providing opportunities so that AS and HFA kids develop the skills necessary to become independent, as well as to interact freely and joyfully within their environment.

When kids on the autism spectrum grow up, parents want them to have the necessary survival skills (e.g., speaking up and voicing opinions). Self-advocacy (i.e., the ability to speak on one’s own behalf) is an important and powerful outcome for kids with AS and HFA. By learning skills that promote self-reliance as a youngster, parents begin paving the way for her to effectively use her voice or other means to speak up on her own behalf.

==> Launching Adult Children With Aspergers and HFA: How To Promote Self-Reliance

Just like a child needs to practice the violin to become proficient, AS and HFA kids need on-going practice to gain skills related to self-reliance. When these young people have numerous opportunities to practice making basic choices or solving simple problems, they build confidence and trust in their own abilities. They also build the competence and ability to master new skills that can last a lifetime.

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Below are a few important suggestions for promoting early self-reliance in your child. You can choose the ones that work for you, or adapt some of the suggestions so they match the preferences of your youngster and the rest of the family:

1. Create opportunities for your AS or HFA youngster to see his work, drawings or other art displayed (e.g., proudly show “found treasures,” artwork or other creations on a bulletin board or the refrigerator).

2. Develop routines WITH your youngster. Morning and bedtime are obvious times to come up with predictable routines. Have your child involved in the planning. For example, sit her down and ask, "What can we do to make our mornings go more smoothly?" Chances are your youngster will come up with the same ideas you might have – and since she came up with the idea (rather than you), she will be more likely to follow it. She may even pose some ideas you wouldn't have considered (e.g., having a granola bar for breakfast instead of pancakes). Beyond the morning and night, look for other times that you can come up with a flexible schedule. For example, when your youngster gets home from school, he can be in charge of getting his own snack instead of relying on you.

3. Provide a lot of regular acknowledgement and praise. When your youngster is trying something new, you can nearly guarantee his success by praising his efforts. Kids on the autism spectrum can get easily frustrated, but by cheering on their efforts, they learn that obstacles can be overcome. They need to learn patience as they learn to do something new, and moms and dads need to be patient as they encourage their kids. For example, it may take longer for your child to tie his shoes, so give him plenty of time and don't rush him. In the end, your child will not only learn to do more on his own, but he will become more self-reliant – and grateful that his mom and dad have confidence in his abilities.
 
==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

4. Help your youngster to become a goal-setter. Autonomy often goes hand-in-hand with self-confidence. When your youngster feels like she has the ability to accomplish something small (e.g., making her own bed), she will then feel more able to do more difficult tasks (e.g., washing dishes, figuring out fractions, etc.). Help along her “sense of self” by teaching her to set goals. These goals don't have to be large tasks, or even for lengthy time periods. And the reward for her efforts should be her own sense of accomplishment. Chores are a good place to start with goal-setting. So, identify with your youngster specific tasks that she can do around the house and in her bedroom. Work with her to develop a chart to mark off each day or week that she gets her tasks done.

5. Of course, supervision is important to ensure that your youngster is safe. But to help her really learn a new skill, it's also important not to hover. Finding that balance can be tricky. That's why taking simple steps toward acquiring a new skill is crucial. Potentially dangerous or messy tasks (e.g., cutting, vacuuming, working with blenders, etc.) require supervision. But make sure that with other tasks (e.g., making beds, fixing simple meals, etc.), you step back and let your child show off her skills.

==> Launching Adult Children With Aspergers and HFA: How To Promote Self-Reliance

6. Let your youngster go alone. Are you the first to volunteer to chaperone the school fieldtrip? After all, what if your son forgets his sack lunch …or your daughter leaves her umbrella on the bus? Moms and dads should definitely sign up for one fieldtrip or a couple of classroom volunteer assignments each school year – but should not go to every activity. These activities serve as opportunities for kids to exert their independence while still being under adult supervision. After the activity, ask your youngster about the event. You may notice that he enjoyed going on the fieldtrip, not just because of the horses at the farm, but also because he felt responsible enough to take care of himself outside of school without his mom or dad around.

7. Let your AS or HFA child make mistakes, but be there to boost her spirits so she will keep trying. For example, if your youngster wants to learn how to make a home-made pizza, show her how. Then set up the ingredients and let her give it a try. True, you're likely in for a bit of a mess, but your youngster can help clean up (however imperfectly) after she is done crafting her pizza. Instead of pointing out that she added entirely too much mozzarella cheese, make an attempt to avoid any criticism that could discourage her from trying again. If parents step-in to assist, their youngster may get discouraged and never try it again.

8. Offer choices and solicit your youngster’s preferences for objects and activities (e.g., ask him which book of two books he wants, and ask if he wants to sit up or lie down to hear the story).

9. Provide your youngster ways to be independent in dressing and personal care.

10. Teach “life skills” to your child. Start simple with teaching day-to-day tasks. For example, have your youngster help you sort out clothes for the laundry. After the clothes are dried, give her a basket with her clothes folded inside. Once she is comfortable and confident putting away her own clothes, let her handle the folding, too. Introducing your youngster gradually to new skills will help her to feel confident to handle more demanding tasks.

These are just a few ideas to help you start thinking about ways to promote self-reliance at home. The key is to create opportunities where your youngster can feel happy, safe, and free within the world around him or her.

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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The Benefits of "Therapy Pets" for Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Pets and kids with Asperger's or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can be a great combination and give these children an opportunity to relate to another living being. Children with behavioral and social issues can be difficult to work with, and most of them have trouble trusting others. Dogs, cats, elephants, lizards, rabbits and horses can successfully be used in animal therapy (called Animal Assisted Therapy).

Animal Assisted Therapy provides an experience with an animal that is non-judgmental, gives affection unconditionally, and provides opportunities for physical and emotional therapy. This includes therapy for strengthening muscles through horseback riding, low-impact swimming with dolphins, and a boost of confidence with service dogs and companion dogs. These pets promote confidence and self-esteem while motivating children on the autism spectrum to interact and get stronger.

There are many cases in which kids with Asperger's and HFA have close relationship with special pets (e.g., dogs, cats, rabbits, etc.). The violent tendencies of "special needs" kids disappear while they play with the pet. Having a pet often promotes a healthy personality in kids, including trusting, respecting, contributing, self-confidence, commitment and responsibility. It also can teach these kids problem-solving skills, decision-making skills, language and social skills.

A meta-analysis found that animal-assisted therapy is associated with improving medical difficulties, behavioral problems, and emotional problems in kids on the spectrum. They also report the following improvements in:
  • Attention skills (i.e., paying attention, staying on task)
  • Leisure/recreation skills
  • Reducing anxiety
  • Reducing loneliness
  • Self-esteem
  • Verbal interactions between group members

The research into Animal Assisted Therapy is relatively new, and professionals believe more research is needed. However, there's a general consensus that “therapy pets” aid in the treatment of kids with Asperger's and HFA. As with other types of animal assisted therapy, the introduction of the animal seems to calm and soothe these kids. Often, they begin making eye contact with the animal first, then with people. Therapy usually results in these kids becoming more open – first with the pets, and then with people.

Moms and dads often bring a pet into the family to teach their child a sense of responsibility, or perhaps to provide him/her with a playmate. But these kids often learn something more fundamental about themselves and the world: how to empathize with others, how to understand subtle feelings, and how to look at the world from a vastly different perspective. The youngster learns how the world and living things are interconnected.

On the emotional level, pets can teach autistic kids many things, including:
  • Communication: The kids learn the subtle cues their pets give them to indicate their feelings. They can later apply this lesson to human interaction because they are more attuned to watching for body posture.
  • Confidence: The kids go through life under constant evaluation. They are rated by their behavior, grades and athletic performance. This is especially true of middle school students. Pets have no such expectations; they're delighted that the youngster is with them. Pets give kids the sense of unconditional acceptance. No judging or rating is involved.
  • Empathy: The kids often become curious about the emotions their pets feel. This curiosity will extend itself to others. Animals offer an avenue for kids to explore their curiosity. For a youngster, curiosity can lead to hope and to greater engagement with the world around them.
  • Nurturing skills: If properly supervised by adults, a youngster learns how to take care of another living being, and take pleasure in keeping the pet healthy and happy.
  • Resilience to change: The kids who undergo traumatic experiences often cope better when they have a pet to confide in. Loneliness is very dangerous to kids. Having an animal companion can make them feel a part of something.

One study explored the relationship between pets and Asperger's kids. Specifically, the study, conducted by a child psychologist in New Mexico, looked at the effect dog ownership had on 10- to 12-year-olds. The researcher was surprised at the difference in empathy and self-esteem between pre-adolescents who owned a dog and those who did not. This research supported the growing body of evidence that shows dog ownership has statistically significant impact on self-esteem and sensitivity toward others. A pet has no such measures of success or failure; acceptance is total, which provides a sense of self worth.

Pets also teach these young people about the importance of taking care of themselves. For instance, one therapist says she teaches kids why it is important to take care of a pet, brush his teeth and keep him clean. When they understand the importance, the therapist turns the focus on the kids themselves. If brushing a dog's teeth is important for his health, then naturally it is important for the youngster's well being.

This doesn't necessarily mean that all kids with the disorder are ready for pet ownership. Moms and dads should first make sure their youngster desires a pet before rushing out to get one. Together, they should decide what type of pet is best. Moreover, don't assume your youngster will take care of the pet. The ultimate responsibility usually falls on the parent, not the kid, to make sure the pet is healthy.

As most of us with pets realize, pets can be a source of comfort and happiness. It is no surprise that they can also have therapeutic and healing benefits. The playful nature of pets seems to help bring kids with Asperger's and HFA out of isolation.  


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

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Do you need the advice of a professional who specializes in parenting children and teens with Autism Spectrum Disorders?  Sign-up for Online Parent Coaching today.

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Capitalizing on the Strengths of Students with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Oftentimes, the focus is on the deficits of a youngster with Asperger’s (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA), which is common due to the child’s communication difficulties, learning disabilities, poor social skills, and/or tendency to experience meltdowns and tantrums.

Years of corrective measures are often spent trying to fix the child’s deficits, rather than capitalizing on his assets. For example, if he has poor handwriting skills, hours are spent teaching that youngster using methods that didn't work in the first place, which often results in behavior problems. A youngster who is acting-out is a youngster who is frustrated over failure or perceived failure.  If he can’t learn the way he is taught, he may as well be in a foreign language class.



Behavior problems can get in the way of teaching to a youngster's assets.  Discipline may reduce or eliminate problematic behavior temporarily, but does not provide stepping stones to more appropriate behavior. Usually there are triggers for behaviors that, when identified and eliminated, result in a dramatic reduction of problematic behaviors. Focusing and building on the youngster's assets usually leads to a reduction in classroom-related problems as well.

A youngster on the autism spectrum already knows that he is different. It is up to educators to teach this child that different is not bad, and that each of us has special talents. Educators can help this process along by showcasing the youngster's assets and special interests. All children have assets, but sometimes they're not obvious. Thus, educators must “hunt down” those strong points and build on them. Every youngster must feel he is making a contribution to his environment. Every youngster must feel important – and must taste success.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

If the AS or HFA youngster does not have obvious areas of strength, educators should explore every possibility, be it in sports, solving puzzles, photography, mechanical inclinations, collecting insects, the arts – anything of interest that is creative and stimulating for the child.  When the focus is on the child’s “special interests” and areas of strength, the process of building self-confidence and self-reliance begins as well. Of course, parents need to be on board with the business of focusing on strength as well. It is crucial to have a concerted effort both at school and at home, with clear communication between the teacher and parent.

Specific methods for assisting with special needs and capitalizing on strengths:

1. The AS or HFA child should have a special job at school in an area related to her interests and needs. It can be something such as assisting with a classroom chore, feeding the fish in the fish tank, helping the teacher with passing out lesson material – anything that is a regular job. This job does not need to be time consuming. Five to ten minutes a day will work. Accommodating this need takes creativity and ingenuity, but it's crucial. 

Unfortunately, the youngster with a “disorder” that impacts social skills and behavior is often the last youngster picked to assist with different classroom tasks. But, it's one of the single most effective methods to help the AS or HFA youngster gain self-confidence, and should be included as a “need” – not a reward! All “special needs” children need to feel they are making a contribution to their environment. They feel important when they are singled out for a special responsibility, even if it is only for five minutes a day. When these young people feel recognized and valued for their contribution, problematic behaviors often diminish or disappear. They walk taller, gain self-confidence, and have a more positive outlook.

2. The AS or HFA student needs structure and routine in order to function. Thus, try to keep his world as predictable as possible. If there will be any significant change in the youngster's classroom or routine, it is advisable to notify parents as far in advance as possible so that everyone can work together in preparing the child for it.

3. Often times, the AS or HFA youngster who is easily distractible in the classroom shows significant improvement when work is accomplished on a computer. Many kids on the autism spectrum tend to lose their thoughts somewhere between brain and pencil, but are great writers when using a computer. Since these children tend to be visual thinkers/learners, there is an instant connection between brain and screen. Through bypassing faulty circuitry that gets in the way of genuine learning, problem solving and organizational skills often show remarkable improvement. The focus can then shift from the writing deficits to the content assets.

4. Kids on the autism spectrum tend to be reclusive; therefore, teachers should foster involvement with others. Encourage active socialization, and limit time spent in isolated pursuit of interests (e.g., the teacher's aide seated at the lunch table could actively encourage the youngster to participate in the conversation of his peers, not only by soliciting his opinions and asking him questions, but also by subtly reinforcing other students who do the same).

5. Always remember that the AS or HFA youngster's difficulty with social cues, nonverbal communication, figurative language and eye contact are part of her neurological makeup. She is not being deliberately rude or disrespectful.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

6. Take the example of an AS or HFA child who is struggling with spelling, sometimes spending as much as 2 hours a night trying to learn a list of 15 to 20 words. In this case, a great modification would be to cut the list in half. Alternatively, the teacher may want to consider allowing that youngster to spend spelling time on the computer. With the use of word processors and spell checkers to offset spelling and organizational difficulties, many of these “special needs” students suddenly blossom into creative writers.

7. Remember that the AS or HFA youngster is an individual, not a diagnosis. Teachers should always be alert and receptive to the things that make her unique and special.

8. Although they lack personal understanding of the emotions of others, kids on the spectrum can learn the correct way to respond. When they have been unintentionally insulting, tactless or insensitive, it must be explained to them why the response was inappropriate – and what response would have been correct. They must learn social skills intellectually, because they lack social instinct and intuition.

9. Perhaps the youngster understands math concepts, but has difficulty performing the actual calculations on paper. A calculator is a great tool for such a youngster. Sometimes teachers insist that their students have to first learn math the "old fashioned way." However, if the child can't perform very basic math calculations by the 5th or 6th grade, it will probably always be difficult. It would be best to start early to help the AS or HFA child who has difficulty with math to progress rapidly with the concepts by using a calculator.

10. Kids on the spectrum have eccentric preoccupations, or odd, intense fixations (e.g., sometimes obsessively collecting unusual things). They tend to (a) relentlessly "lecture" on areas of interest, (b) ask repetitive questions about interests, (c) have trouble letting go of ideas, (d) follow their own inclinations regardless of external demands, and (e) sometimes refuse to learn about anything outside their limited field of interest. In these cases, teachers can use the youngster's fixation as a way to broaden her repertoire of interests. A case in point: During a unit on rain forests, one AS student who was obsessed with animals was led to not only study rain forest animals, but to also study the forest itself since this was the animals’ home. He was then motivated to learn about the local people who were forced to chop down the animals’ forest habitat in order to survive.




Children with AS and HFA are unique, and they can affect the learning environment in both positive and negative ways. In the classroom, these students can present a challenge for the most experienced teacher. They can also contribute much to the classroom, because they can be extremely creative and see things and execute various tasks in different ways. These “special needs” children may come from different family backgrounds and leave your classroom for different futures, but they spend a significant portion of their young lives with you right now. Next to the parents, you have the greatest opportunity and the power to positively influence their lives.

Struggling with your "special needs" student? Click here  for highly effective teaching strategies specific to the Asperger's and HFA condition. 


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
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