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Showing posts sorted by relevance for query confidence. Sort by date Show all posts

How to Promote Self-Confidence in Your Child on the Autism Spectrum

Early on, the youngster with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger’s (AS) begins to notice that his peers can do certain tasks easily that are very difficult for him. As a result, he may begin to feel bad about himself. He may receive frequent criticism, or at best, luck warm praise. For example:
  • “You are making progress” (with what exactly?).
  • “You are doing fine” (how fine?).
  • “You are doing better” (better than what?).

Criticism damages self-confidence, and general (i.e., non-specific) praise is often too abstract to be meaningful to concrete thinkers.

By making a regular habit of commenting on the positives, and by offering specific comments on what their HFA youngster is doing well, moms and dads will promote desired behaviors and boost his or her self-confidence. Specific praise includes phrases such as: 
  • “You are listening carefully. I’m proud of you.”
  • “You are sitting properly and looking at me.”
  • “You cleaned the table after dinner.”
  • “You finished the assignment.”
  • “You picked up the bag the lady dropped. Thank you.”
  • “You remembered to bring home the work you have do.”

With specific praise, the “special needs” youngster can be very clear on what behaviors are expected and liked.




==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder
 
Visual, specific “proof of progress” helps the youngster with HFA to notice - and feel confident - about her accomplishments and progress. Charts, check lists with lots of checks, gold stars, home-made certificates, and stickers can be used when the child works hard on tasks:
  • (a) at home (e.g., making her bed, putting the toilet paper into the holder when the last piece is gone, remembering to take out the garbage, setting the table correctly, helping her mom with the shopping, etc.),
  • (b) at school (e.g., keeping her desktop organized, standing quietly in line for lunch, waiting for her turn to talk, etc.).


Moms and dads - and educators - boost the HFA youngster’s self-confidence by seeking-out what he can do well and supporting these strengths to the fullest extent. Whether it is telling stories, selling things, science, photography, nature, inventing, computer work, or art, the “special needs” youngster needs ongoing and frequent support to become the best in his “areas of strength.” This extra support will help the child to value the educational process, and it will help him feel better about himself.

Teaching the HFA child that many people have overcome difficulties to become successful is another valuable way to boost confidence. For example, adventures where the characters got lost or had to fight sharks or other beasts, read or play videos of biographies in which kids or grown-ups have had to struggle to achieve their goals, stories of achieving despite illness or disability, stories of fighting prejudice or unfairness, etc. Kids on the autism spectrum enjoy and benefit from discussing these kinds of challenges.

In addition, when moms and dads can introduce their youngster to highly effective members of society who struggle with various disorders, particularly an autism spectrum disorder, the child can hold her head higher. All members of society who are functioning well with HFA (e.g., athletes, business executives, celebrities, firemen, policemen, etc.) can serve as role models and inspiration for the “special needs” youngster.

When parents and teachers learn to cherish and model diversity, the HFA youngster learns that there are many different ways to think, learn, work, raise kids, and so on. He feels better about himself when he understands that doing things differently, learning differently, and being different is perfectly acceptable – and that differences can enrich our lives. True self-confidence manifests itself when the child is able to do what he wants to do – even if he doesn’t do it the way everybody else does.
 

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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Fostering the Development of Self-Reliance in Kids and Teens with ASD Level 1

"At what point do I cross the line from being an advocate for my child (with ASD) to being an enabler? In other words, when/how do parents do their child a disfavor by 'helping too much'."

Parents of a child with Asperger’s (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often have trouble knowing how much to help out their “suffering” youngster at certain times in his or her life. However, if they have “stepped-in” time and time again to over-protect and over-assist their youngster, it often results is serious problems for that child later in life. Moms and dads are not doing their youngster any favors by over-assisting – in fact, quite the opposite.

Overprotective parents mean well. After all, it's their job to protect their youngster from harm. But unfortunately, some parents of AS and HFA children go too far. They started out by being their child’s advocate – and this is all well and good – but then they progressed way beyond advocacy to an overprotective parenting style. They figured the more hands-on and involved they are in their “special needs” child’s life, the better – but this is definitely not true.



Some early signs of overprotective parenting include the following: 
  • Being quick to punish transgressions
  • Expectations that the youngster understand adult rules of deference and demeanor
  • Having strict rules of neatness, which do not allow the youngster to get dirt on his clothes or on himself
  • Having unnecessarily strict rules (e.g., remaining in the same room with the mother or father at all times, even at age 5 or 6)
  • Highly structured rules that try to cover every phase of the youngster’s life
  • Immediately running to examine the youngster when she has a simple fall that produces no distress; if a whimper is the worst result, the mother or father may have candy or a toy ready for comfort
  • Over-dependence on a system of rewards and punishments
  • Over-emphasis of academic success
  • Protection from all harm whether physical or emotional

==> Launching Adult Children With Aspergers and HFA: How To Promote Self-Reliance

Adult Children with Aspergers and Their Over-Protective Parents 



What are some of the negative outcomes related to an overprotective parenting style? Here are just a few:

1. A grown-up gains confidence by working hard and mastering whatever it is he or she seeks to accomplish – and a child gains confidence the same way. But if an overprotective parent (who hates to see her AS or HFA youngster struggle) does tasks FOR him, the child is not given the opportunity to develop his own skills. Thus, he risks going through life with little or no confidence. An overprotective parent inadvertently sends the message that her youngster is not capable of doing an adequate job, or that she doesn't trust her youngster to make the right decisions.

2. One of the most important jobs a parent has is to prepare her youngster to be an independent and productive adult. But an overprotective parent can't let go – even after her older teen or young adult has left home to attend college. Some moms and dads negotiate work contracts on behalf of their “special needs” adult child. And the most extreme parents even attend job interviews with their adult child, which rarely impresses any potential employer.

3. An overprotective parenting style can cause the lack of the development of self-esteem in the AS or HFA youngster. This is because he is not allowed to face challenges without parental intervention. Part of the development of self-esteem in kids comes from surmounting challenges on their own, which can be denied to them by an overprotective mother or father.
 

4. When a parent does too much “safeguarding” in an effort to make her youngster’s life stress-free, it usually has the opposite effect. The overly-protected youngster eventually becomes depressed and suffers anxiety that he attributes to the obsessed parent. Instead of creating a happy and stress-free environment, the overprotective parent often accomplishes the opposite.

5. An overly protected child may feel that if his parents don’t trust him with the freedom to make mistakes and tackle problems on his own, then he may not have the ability to succeed in life without continued guidance.

So, what can parents do if they have been overly protective down through the years?

They should begin to foster the development of self-reliance in their child, rather than parental-reliance. For kids with AS and HFA, acquiring skills related to self-reliance is especially important. This is because their ability to express themselves clearly or interact with others may look different than what other kids typically do. Some grown-ups may mistakenly provide more support for a youngster on the autism spectrum than she actually needs. When a youngster is consistently prevented from taking even small risks, she will learn to feel helpless and dependent, rather than self-reliant.

Self-reliance is not about letting the child make every single decision that affects his life (e.g., what time to go to bed, deciding not to wear a coat in the winter time, etc.). Kids need very clear expectations, protection from harm, and loving guidance. Self-reliance is about providing opportunities so that AS and HFA kids develop the skills necessary to become independent, as well as to interact freely and joyfully within their environment.

When kids on the autism spectrum grow up, parents want them to have the necessary survival skills (e.g., speaking up and voicing opinions). Self-advocacy (i.e., the ability to speak on one’s own behalf) is an important and powerful outcome for kids with AS and HFA. By learning skills that promote self-reliance as a youngster, parents begin paving the way for her to effectively use her voice or other means to speak up on her own behalf.

==> Launching Adult Children With Aspergers and HFA: How To Promote Self-Reliance

Just like a child needs to practice the violin to become proficient, AS and HFA kids need on-going practice to gain skills related to self-reliance. When these young people have numerous opportunities to practice making basic choices or solving simple problems, they build confidence and trust in their own abilities. They also build the competence and ability to master new skills that can last a lifetime.

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Below are a few important suggestions for promoting early self-reliance in your child. You can choose the ones that work for you, or adapt some of the suggestions so they match the preferences of your youngster and the rest of the family:

1. Create opportunities for your AS or HFA youngster to see his work, drawings or other art displayed (e.g., proudly show “found treasures,” artwork or other creations on a bulletin board or the refrigerator).

2. Develop routines WITH your youngster. Morning and bedtime are obvious times to come up with predictable routines. Have your child involved in the planning. For example, sit her down and ask, "What can we do to make our mornings go more smoothly?" Chances are your youngster will come up with the same ideas you might have – and since she came up with the idea (rather than you), she will be more likely to follow it. She may even pose some ideas you wouldn't have considered (e.g., having a granola bar for breakfast instead of pancakes). Beyond the morning and night, look for other times that you can come up with a flexible schedule. For example, when your youngster gets home from school, he can be in charge of getting his own snack instead of relying on you.

3. Provide a lot of regular acknowledgement and praise. When your youngster is trying something new, you can nearly guarantee his success by praising his efforts. Kids on the autism spectrum can get easily frustrated, but by cheering on their efforts, they learn that obstacles can be overcome. They need to learn patience as they learn to do something new, and moms and dads need to be patient as they encourage their kids. For example, it may take longer for your child to tie his shoes, so give him plenty of time and don't rush him. In the end, your child will not only learn to do more on his own, but he will become more self-reliant – and grateful that his mom and dad have confidence in his abilities.
 
==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

4. Help your youngster to become a goal-setter. Autonomy often goes hand-in-hand with self-confidence. When your youngster feels like she has the ability to accomplish something small (e.g., making her own bed), she will then feel more able to do more difficult tasks (e.g., washing dishes, figuring out fractions, etc.). Help along her “sense of self” by teaching her to set goals. These goals don't have to be large tasks, or even for lengthy time periods. And the reward for her efforts should be her own sense of accomplishment. Chores are a good place to start with goal-setting. So, identify with your youngster specific tasks that she can do around the house and in her bedroom. Work with her to develop a chart to mark off each day or week that she gets her tasks done.

5. Of course, supervision is important to ensure that your youngster is safe. But to help her really learn a new skill, it's also important not to hover. Finding that balance can be tricky. That's why taking simple steps toward acquiring a new skill is crucial. Potentially dangerous or messy tasks (e.g., cutting, vacuuming, working with blenders, etc.) require supervision. But make sure that with other tasks (e.g., making beds, fixing simple meals, etc.), you step back and let your child show off her skills.

==> Launching Adult Children With Aspergers and HFA: How To Promote Self-Reliance

6. Let your youngster go alone. Are you the first to volunteer to chaperone the school fieldtrip? After all, what if your son forgets his sack lunch …or your daughter leaves her umbrella on the bus? Moms and dads should definitely sign up for one fieldtrip or a couple of classroom volunteer assignments each school year – but should not go to every activity. These activities serve as opportunities for kids to exert their independence while still being under adult supervision. After the activity, ask your youngster about the event. You may notice that he enjoyed going on the fieldtrip, not just because of the horses at the farm, but also because he felt responsible enough to take care of himself outside of school without his mom or dad around.

7. Let your AS or HFA child make mistakes, but be there to boost her spirits so she will keep trying. For example, if your youngster wants to learn how to make a home-made pizza, show her how. Then set up the ingredients and let her give it a try. True, you're likely in for a bit of a mess, but your youngster can help clean up (however imperfectly) after she is done crafting her pizza. Instead of pointing out that she added entirely too much mozzarella cheese, make an attempt to avoid any criticism that could discourage her from trying again. If parents step-in to assist, their youngster may get discouraged and never try it again.

8. Offer choices and solicit your youngster’s preferences for objects and activities (e.g., ask him which book of two books he wants, and ask if he wants to sit up or lie down to hear the story).

9. Provide your youngster ways to be independent in dressing and personal care.

10. Teach “life skills” to your child. Start simple with teaching day-to-day tasks. For example, have your youngster help you sort out clothes for the laundry. After the clothes are dried, give her a basket with her clothes folded inside. Once she is comfortable and confident putting away her own clothes, let her handle the folding, too. Introducing your youngster gradually to new skills will help her to feel confident to handle more demanding tasks.

These are just a few ideas to help you start thinking about ways to promote self-reliance at home. The key is to create opportunities where your youngster can feel happy, safe, and free within the world around him or her.

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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The Benefits of "Therapy Pets" for Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Pets and kids with Asperger's or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can be a great combination and give these children an opportunity to relate to another living being. Children with behavioral and social issues can be difficult to work with, and most of them have trouble trusting others. Dogs, cats, elephants, lizards, rabbits and horses can successfully be used in animal therapy (called Animal Assisted Therapy).

Animal Assisted Therapy provides an experience with an animal that is non-judgmental, gives affection unconditionally, and provides opportunities for physical and emotional therapy. This includes therapy for strengthening muscles through horseback riding, low-impact swimming with dolphins, and a boost of confidence with service dogs and companion dogs. These pets promote confidence and self-esteem while motivating children on the autism spectrum to interact and get stronger.

There are many cases in which kids with Asperger's and HFA have close relationship with special pets (e.g., dogs, cats, rabbits, etc.). The violent tendencies of "special needs" kids disappear while they play with the pet. Having a pet often promotes a healthy personality in kids, including trusting, respecting, contributing, self-confidence, commitment and responsibility. It also can teach these kids problem-solving skills, decision-making skills, language and social skills.

A meta-analysis found that animal-assisted therapy is associated with improving medical difficulties, behavioral problems, and emotional problems in kids on the spectrum. They also report the following improvements in:
  • Attention skills (i.e., paying attention, staying on task)
  • Leisure/recreation skills
  • Reducing anxiety
  • Reducing loneliness
  • Self-esteem
  • Verbal interactions between group members

The research into Animal Assisted Therapy is relatively new, and professionals believe more research is needed. However, there's a general consensus that “therapy pets” aid in the treatment of kids with Asperger's and HFA. As with other types of animal assisted therapy, the introduction of the animal seems to calm and soothe these kids. Often, they begin making eye contact with the animal first, then with people. Therapy usually results in these kids becoming more open – first with the pets, and then with people.

Moms and dads often bring a pet into the family to teach their child a sense of responsibility, or perhaps to provide him/her with a playmate. But these kids often learn something more fundamental about themselves and the world: how to empathize with others, how to understand subtle feelings, and how to look at the world from a vastly different perspective. The youngster learns how the world and living things are interconnected.

On the emotional level, pets can teach autistic kids many things, including:
  • Communication: The kids learn the subtle cues their pets give them to indicate their feelings. They can later apply this lesson to human interaction because they are more attuned to watching for body posture.
  • Confidence: The kids go through life under constant evaluation. They are rated by their behavior, grades and athletic performance. This is especially true of middle school students. Pets have no such expectations; they're delighted that the youngster is with them. Pets give kids the sense of unconditional acceptance. No judging or rating is involved.
  • Empathy: The kids often become curious about the emotions their pets feel. This curiosity will extend itself to others. Animals offer an avenue for kids to explore their curiosity. For a youngster, curiosity can lead to hope and to greater engagement with the world around them.
  • Nurturing skills: If properly supervised by adults, a youngster learns how to take care of another living being, and take pleasure in keeping the pet healthy and happy.
  • Resilience to change: The kids who undergo traumatic experiences often cope better when they have a pet to confide in. Loneliness is very dangerous to kids. Having an animal companion can make them feel a part of something.

One study explored the relationship between pets and Asperger's kids. Specifically, the study, conducted by a child psychologist in New Mexico, looked at the effect dog ownership had on 10- to 12-year-olds. The researcher was surprised at the difference in empathy and self-esteem between pre-adolescents who owned a dog and those who did not. This research supported the growing body of evidence that shows dog ownership has statistically significant impact on self-esteem and sensitivity toward others. A pet has no such measures of success or failure; acceptance is total, which provides a sense of self worth.

Pets also teach these young people about the importance of taking care of themselves. For instance, one therapist says she teaches kids why it is important to take care of a pet, brush his teeth and keep him clean. When they understand the importance, the therapist turns the focus on the kids themselves. If brushing a dog's teeth is important for his health, then naturally it is important for the youngster's well being.

This doesn't necessarily mean that all kids with the disorder are ready for pet ownership. Moms and dads should first make sure their youngster desires a pet before rushing out to get one. Together, they should decide what type of pet is best. Moreover, don't assume your youngster will take care of the pet. The ultimate responsibility usually falls on the parent, not the kid, to make sure the pet is healthy.

As most of us with pets realize, pets can be a source of comfort and happiness. It is no surprise that they can also have therapeutic and healing benefits. The playful nature of pets seems to help bring kids with Asperger's and HFA out of isolation.  


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

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Do you need the advice of a professional who specializes in parenting children and teens with Autism Spectrum Disorders?  Sign-up for Online Parent Coaching today.

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Capitalizing on the Strengths of Students with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Oftentimes, the focus is on the deficits of a youngster with Asperger’s (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA), which is common due to the child’s communication difficulties, learning disabilities, poor social skills, and/or tendency to experience meltdowns and tantrums.

Years of corrective measures are often spent trying to fix the child’s deficits, rather than capitalizing on his assets. For example, if he has poor handwriting skills, hours are spent teaching that youngster using methods that didn't work in the first place, which often results in behavior problems. A youngster who is acting-out is a youngster who is frustrated over failure or perceived failure.  If he can’t learn the way he is taught, he may as well be in a foreign language class.



Behavior problems can get in the way of teaching to a youngster's assets.  Discipline may reduce or eliminate problematic behavior temporarily, but does not provide stepping stones to more appropriate behavior. Usually there are triggers for behaviors that, when identified and eliminated, result in a dramatic reduction of problematic behaviors. Focusing and building on the youngster's assets usually leads to a reduction in classroom-related problems as well.

A youngster on the autism spectrum already knows that he is different. It is up to educators to teach this child that different is not bad, and that each of us has special talents. Educators can help this process along by showcasing the youngster's assets and special interests. All children have assets, but sometimes they're not obvious. Thus, educators must “hunt down” those strong points and build on them. Every youngster must feel he is making a contribution to his environment. Every youngster must feel important – and must taste success.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

If the AS or HFA youngster does not have obvious areas of strength, educators should explore every possibility, be it in sports, solving puzzles, photography, mechanical inclinations, collecting insects, the arts – anything of interest that is creative and stimulating for the child.  When the focus is on the child’s “special interests” and areas of strength, the process of building self-confidence and self-reliance begins as well. Of course, parents need to be on board with the business of focusing on strength as well. It is crucial to have a concerted effort both at school and at home, with clear communication between the teacher and parent.

Specific methods for assisting with special needs and capitalizing on strengths:

1. The AS or HFA child should have a special job at school in an area related to her interests and needs. It can be something such as assisting with a classroom chore, feeding the fish in the fish tank, helping the teacher with passing out lesson material – anything that is a regular job. This job does not need to be time consuming. Five to ten minutes a day will work. Accommodating this need takes creativity and ingenuity, but it's crucial. 

Unfortunately, the youngster with a “disorder” that impacts social skills and behavior is often the last youngster picked to assist with different classroom tasks. But, it's one of the single most effective methods to help the AS or HFA youngster gain self-confidence, and should be included as a “need” – not a reward! All “special needs” children need to feel they are making a contribution to their environment. They feel important when they are singled out for a special responsibility, even if it is only for five minutes a day. When these young people feel recognized and valued for their contribution, problematic behaviors often diminish or disappear. They walk taller, gain self-confidence, and have a more positive outlook.

2. The AS or HFA student needs structure and routine in order to function. Thus, try to keep his world as predictable as possible. If there will be any significant change in the youngster's classroom or routine, it is advisable to notify parents as far in advance as possible so that everyone can work together in preparing the child for it.

3. Often times, the AS or HFA youngster who is easily distractible in the classroom shows significant improvement when work is accomplished on a computer. Many kids on the autism spectrum tend to lose their thoughts somewhere between brain and pencil, but are great writers when using a computer. Since these children tend to be visual thinkers/learners, there is an instant connection between brain and screen. Through bypassing faulty circuitry that gets in the way of genuine learning, problem solving and organizational skills often show remarkable improvement. The focus can then shift from the writing deficits to the content assets.

4. Kids on the autism spectrum tend to be reclusive; therefore, teachers should foster involvement with others. Encourage active socialization, and limit time spent in isolated pursuit of interests (e.g., the teacher's aide seated at the lunch table could actively encourage the youngster to participate in the conversation of his peers, not only by soliciting his opinions and asking him questions, but also by subtly reinforcing other students who do the same).

5. Always remember that the AS or HFA youngster's difficulty with social cues, nonverbal communication, figurative language and eye contact are part of her neurological makeup. She is not being deliberately rude or disrespectful.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

6. Take the example of an AS or HFA child who is struggling with spelling, sometimes spending as much as 2 hours a night trying to learn a list of 15 to 20 words. In this case, a great modification would be to cut the list in half. Alternatively, the teacher may want to consider allowing that youngster to spend spelling time on the computer. With the use of word processors and spell checkers to offset spelling and organizational difficulties, many of these “special needs” students suddenly blossom into creative writers.

7. Remember that the AS or HFA youngster is an individual, not a diagnosis. Teachers should always be alert and receptive to the things that make her unique and special.

8. Although they lack personal understanding of the emotions of others, kids on the spectrum can learn the correct way to respond. When they have been unintentionally insulting, tactless or insensitive, it must be explained to them why the response was inappropriate – and what response would have been correct. They must learn social skills intellectually, because they lack social instinct and intuition.

9. Perhaps the youngster understands math concepts, but has difficulty performing the actual calculations on paper. A calculator is a great tool for such a youngster. Sometimes teachers insist that their students have to first learn math the "old fashioned way." However, if the child can't perform very basic math calculations by the 5th or 6th grade, it will probably always be difficult. It would be best to start early to help the AS or HFA child who has difficulty with math to progress rapidly with the concepts by using a calculator.

10. Kids on the spectrum have eccentric preoccupations, or odd, intense fixations (e.g., sometimes obsessively collecting unusual things). They tend to (a) relentlessly "lecture" on areas of interest, (b) ask repetitive questions about interests, (c) have trouble letting go of ideas, (d) follow their own inclinations regardless of external demands, and (e) sometimes refuse to learn about anything outside their limited field of interest. In these cases, teachers can use the youngster's fixation as a way to broaden her repertoire of interests. A case in point: During a unit on rain forests, one AS student who was obsessed with animals was led to not only study rain forest animals, but to also study the forest itself since this was the animals’ home. He was then motivated to learn about the local people who were forced to chop down the animals’ forest habitat in order to survive.




Children with AS and HFA are unique, and they can affect the learning environment in both positive and negative ways. In the classroom, these students can present a challenge for the most experienced teacher. They can also contribute much to the classroom, because they can be extremely creative and see things and execute various tasks in different ways. These “special needs” children may come from different family backgrounds and leave your classroom for different futures, but they spend a significant portion of their young lives with you right now. Next to the parents, you have the greatest opportunity and the power to positively influence their lives.

Struggling with your "special needs" student? Click here  for highly effective teaching strategies specific to the Asperger's and HFA condition. 


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 

Loneliness in Children on the Autism Spectrum: Tips for Parents

Kids with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) are more likely to be lonely than “typical” kids. Research shows that they face considerable challenges in making and keeping friends. There are many causes that may result in loneliness for these young people. For example:
  • Change in environment (e.g., relocation from country side to cities, relocation from joint families to nuclear families)
  • Change in school
  • Fear of school bullies
  • Feeling of being invisible
  • Feeling of being isolated
  • Inability of making friends easily
  • Lack of self-confidence
  • Lack of social support
  • Lacking of understanding from others
  • Losing a friend
  • Loss of a mother or father
  • Rejection from friends
  • Relocation of a friend
  • Shyness

Signs that your AS or HFA youngster is feeling lonely include:
  • draws sad pictures
  • fails to interact with peers in class
  • never discusses or speaks with other kids
  • never invites kids to his house
  • plays sad tunes
  • prefers being in his room rather than staying out when guests arrive
  • prefers staying home rather than playing outside with other kids
  • walks home alone rather than with peers after school

When a youngster comes home and says, "no one likes me" or "everyone hates me," it can be hard for a mother or father to tell the difference between temporary exclusion versus ongoing rejection. Fortunately, research studies offer some advice on effective strategies to help “special needs” kids cope with - or avoid - loneliness. Here are some tips:

1. Before parents intervene in their youngster’s social difficulties, they should ask themselves some questions about their own history. For example, do you and your youngster have different temperaments when it comes to socializing? What were your friendships like at that age? Where did you stand in the group in terms of popularity? How did you cope with loneliness as a child? What worked – and what didn’t?

2. Become an expert on your youngster’s social life. Observe his social behavior to determine specific strengths and weaknesses, then share your observations with your child. Also, capitalize on his strengths rather than trying to “fix” weaknesses.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

3. Don’t drag your own emotional baggage into the equation if you were bullied or teased as a child. Resist the urge to march onto the playground and chastise the bully for picking on your youngster. Also, avoid the temptation to gossip about the bully’s parents in the parking lot after school.

4. Employ the help of your child’s teacher. Let the teacher know that you are working with your youngster on “friendship skills.” The teacher can then structure the classroom environment to support efforts to form satisfying social connections with your child’s peers.

5. Encourage your youngster to participate in various activities in school (e.g., sports, hobby courses, music, etc.).



6. Give your child a gentle push to try new social challenges. AS and HFA children need lots of support and encouragement, while at the same time being gradually pushed out of their "comfort zone."

7. If you have just relocated to a new neighborhood or city, then it is likely your youngster misses her old friends. In this case, help your youngster to make new friends. Call a snack party and invite all the kids from the neighborhood. Introduce your youngster to all of them.

8. If your youngster is afraid of bullying in school – then take care of it. Deal with the school bully by complaining to the teachers and other school authorities. If this approach doesn't work, then have a talk with the bully’s mom or dad. Confront the bully if necessary, and teach your youngster to cope with bullies.

9. Lack of confidence is one of the major causes why an AS or HFA youngster can feel lonely. The good news is that moms and dads can assist with confidence-building by helping their youngster to recognize his unique abilities and talents. Children on the autism spectrum have way more talents than deficits (more information on this topic can be found here).

10. Look for a variety of group opportunities. Scouts, church youth groups, drama club, chess club, and sports teams all provide an alternative to school as a place for your youngster to make friends and gain acceptance.

11. Nurture your youngster’s belief in her ability to develop better friendship skills. This requires ongoing empathy, encouragement, and problem-solving support from you, the parent, in order to: (a) develop the hope and motivation to persist in making friends; (b) maintain a positive attitude and acceptance that children may vary in the way they form friendships; and (c) facilitate the view that friendships and satisfying social relations as important.

12. Praise your youngster for the efforts and contributions (rather than end results) she does in any particular activity (e.g., “You did a great job helping me plant these flowers).

13. Provide training and intervention to promote your youngster’s competence and sense of control. Different types of social skills training found to be effective include: role-playing, problem-solving exercises, peer-tutoring, and modeling.

14. Teach basic social skills (e.g., how to start a conversation, how to guess what other people are feeling, how to join in group play, how to ask for help, etc.).

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

15. Try to structure the environment to promote friendship and provide opportunities to experience social competence. For instance, you can set up an opportunity for your AS or HFA youngster to work collaboratively with another youngster on a task or project that they can successfully complete (be careful to select a youngster who is likely to work well with your youngster).

16. Sometimes, you may feel that the social relationships your AS or HFA youngster is developing are childish or superficial, or that your youngster’s friends are too young or not really a good match. Nonetheless, by understanding that friendship skills take time and practice, you will be able to give your youngster the encouragement and support she needs to build these skills in her own way and at her own pace.




Loneliness is distressing for all children. But, for a youngster with AS or HFA, loneliness may become an ongoing struggle resulting from a lack of social skills or a belief that she simply can’t make and keep friends. As a mother or father, you can play an important role in identifying your youngster’s specific social strengths and challenges, and help her understand that friendships require effort and skill. By doing so, you support her hopes for closer friendships and more meaningful social networks in the future.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

Aspergers Summer Camps

The Learning Camp
Vail, Colorado, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Phone: 970-524-2706
The Learning Camp delivers twelve years of building confidence and academic success in males and females 7-14 with ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia and other learning differences. Located in the Vail Valley of CO…

Camp Kodiak
McKellar, Ontario, Canada
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 877-569-7595
Phone: 705-389-1910
Integrated, non-competitive camp for kids & adolescents with & without ADHD, LD, NLD, & AS. Social skills & academic programs, 50+ sports & activities, professional staff, 2-to-1 ratio, lakeside cabins...

Camp Caglewood
Suwanee, Georgia, USA
Camp Type: Residential | Day | Adult
Toll-Free: 800-979-2829
Phone: 678-405-9000
Camp Caglewood provides weekend camping and day trip programming for kids and adults with special needs...

Camp Discovery
Pacific Palisades, California, USA
Camp Type: Day
Phone: 818-501-5522
Camp Discovery is an outdoor day camp for kids ages 3 – 10 with mild or moderate special needs. Camp Discovery offers a 1:3 therapist to youngster ratio. All of our therapists have special training to...

Social and Sensory Camps
Campbell, California, USA
Camp Type: Day
Phone: 408-871-8711
The Lighthouse Project offers a wide range of summer camps for high functioning kids with Nonverbal Learning Disorders, Asperger's, high functioning Autism, and Attention Deficits...

Camp Buckskin
Ely, Minnesota, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Phone: 218-365-2121
We have been helping young people with AD/HD, LD, and Aspergers to become more successful since 1959. We offer instruction in both traditional camp and some academic activities in our scenic Northwoods…

Oregon Trails
Redmond, Oregon, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 888-458-8226
Phone: 828-697-6313
Hiking trips for adolescents with Asperger's syndrome or ADHD take place in the Redmond, Oregon area...

Winston Preparatory Summer Enrichment Program
New York, New York, USA
Camp Type: Day
Phone: 646-638-2705 x 688
Winston Preparatory Summer Enrichment provides students with the unique opportunity to participate in an individually designed program aimed to enhance academic skills. Each student receives daily…

Frontier Travel Camp
Miami Shores, Florida, USA
Camp Type: Travel
Toll-Free: 866-750-CAMP
Phone: 305-895-1123
Summer travel program for those with special needs. With quality staff and accommodations, Frontier travels throughout the United States, Canada, Europe, and elsewhere…

Kinark Outdoor Centre
Minden, Ontario, Canada
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 800-805-8252
Phone: 705-286-3555
The Kinark Outdoor Centre is a program of Kinark Child and Family Services facilitating skill development, social recreation, family enrichment and adventure based programs for kids and families ...

Summit Camp
Honesdale, Pennsylvania, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 800-323-9908
Phone: 570-253-4381
Sumimt Camp & Travel offers camping for males and females with attention, social, or learning issues...

Camp Huntington
High Falls, New York, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 866-514-5281
Phone: 845-687-7840
Camp Huntington is a co-ed, residential, seven-week program for kids and young adults with a variety of special needs. Our program is designed to maximize a youngster's potential and develop their…

Trek
Seattle, Washington, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 888-458-8226
Phone: 888-458-8226
Northwestern adventures for kids with Asperger's, NLD, ADHD, or other social skills needs...

Camp Kirk
Kirkfield, Ontario, Canada
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 1-866-982-3310
Phone: 416-782-3310
Camp Kirk is a wholesome experience for kids with learning disabilities and/or ADHD, and those with incontinence or enuresis(bed wetting) difficulties set in the beautiful Canadian countryside...

Ko-Ach Adventures
Temagami, Ontario, Canada
Camp Type: Residential | Tours | Family | Adult
Phone: 647-298-1860
Ko-Ach Adventures provides meaningful summer programming to young people and young diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome or a mild to moderate developmental delay...

Turn-About Ranch
Escalante, Utah, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 866-280-1764
Phone: 435-826-4240
Real ranch. Real values. Real change. Turn-About Ranch is a working horse and cow ranch for adolescents...

Charis Hills
Ingram, Texas, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 888-681-2173
Phone: 325-247-4999
Charis Hills is a Christian, co-ed, residential summer camp which helps kids with learning differences build confidence and find success. We welcome kids with ADHD, LD, ED, and Asperger’s...

Camp Connect
Bridgewater, Massachusetts, USA
Camp Type: Day
Phone: 508-697-7557
For Kids & Adolescents with Asperger's Syndrome, High Functioning Autism, and related challenges...

Turn-About Ranch
Lake Saranac, New York, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 888-458-8226
Phone: 828-697-6313

Talisail
Northwestern, Washington, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 888-458-8226
Phone: 888-458-8226
Talisail is a sailing program for adolescents (13-17 y/o) with Asperger’s, high-functioning Autism, or ADHD/LD, and takes place in the world-class waters of the San Juan archipelago in Northwestern Washington…

Camp Akeela
Thetford Center, Vermont, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 866-680-4744
Phone: 802-333-4843
Camp Akeela is a co-ed, overnight camp in Vermont. Within a well-rounded and traditional program we emphasize the social growth of our campers, many of whom have been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome…

Camp Northwood
Remsen, New York, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Phone: 315-831-3621
Providing quality programming to a coed population of 165 kids in need of structure and individualization. The Camp Northwood program is oriented toward a population of learning challenged/ADHD...

Talisman Programs
Zirconia, North Carolina, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 888-458-8226
Phone: 828-697-6313
Talisman Programs are designed specifically for kids and teenagers with ADHD, learning disabilities, Aspergers, and similar social and behavioral needs. Our activities focus on building confidence...

Summit Travel
Honesdale, Pennsylvania, USA
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 800-323-9908
Phone: 570-253-4381
Sumimt Camp & Travel offers camping for males and females with attention, social, or learning issues...

Camp Kennebec
Arden, Ontario, Canada
Camp Type: Residential
Toll-Free: 1-877-335-2114
Phone: 613-335-2114
Camp Kennebec is an inclusive residential camp for kids with various learning disabilities, ADD/ADHD, Tourette Syndrome, ASD, and other social and behavioural exceptionalities. Camp Kennebec offers...

Blooming Acres
Oro Station, Ontario, Canada
Phone: 705-487-3076
The Blooming Acres summer Camp is a therapeutic agricultural, recreational and vocational experience for kids, teenagers and adults diagnosed with Autism, Asperger’s Syndrome and other related…

Circle of Friends Social Skills Camp
Marietta, Georgia, USA
Phone: 770-352-9952
Day camp for social skills training and friendship development for kids with special needs…

Extreme Sports Camp
Aspen, Colorado, USA
Phone: 970-920-3695
Extreme Sports Camp is an overnight summer camp in Aspen, Colorado, where older kids with autism spectrum disorders can safely engage in sustained physical activities and find personal growth through…

Ranch Camp at Down Home Ranch
Elgin, Texas, USA
Phone: 512-856-0128

HI-STEP Summer Social Skills Program Camp
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
Phone: 732-873-1212
HI-STEP (formerly Stepping Stone) Summer Social Skills Program / Camp in New Jersey may serve as Special Education Extended School Year (ESY) program…

Camp Health Hope and Happiness
Seba Beach, Alberta, Canada
Camp Health, Hope & Happiness is the only camp in Alberta that accepts, and provides programs, for individuals who have any type and any degree of disability or illness…

Confidence Connection
Wellelsey, Massachusetts, USA
Serving kids ages 4-12, with Autism/PDD, Asperger’s, developmental and speech/language delays…

The Monarch School Summer Program
Houston, Texas, USA
The Monarch School offers a 5-week summer program with an emphasis on Executive Functioning, Relationship Development, Academic Competence, and Self-Regulation…

Camp Maple Leaf
Wallingford, Vermont, USA
A FUN summer day camp experience (ages 8-17) that teaches social/ relaxation skills to individuals diagnosed with Nonverbal Learning Disabilities, Asperger's Syndrome, PDD, and HFA…

Summer Sensations
Columbia, Maryland, USA
Sensory Motor Full Day Camp carefully designed for kids with sensory processing differences…

Mitchell's Place
Irondale, Alabama, USA
Mitchell's Place developed out of one family's need to provide their son with comprehensive treatment that would address his specific needs and enhance his many strengths…

Rock Climbing Social Skills Group
Huntington Beach, California, USA
Rock Climbing Social Skills Group

Sense Abilities For Kids
Leesburg, Virginia, USA
Our Special Needs Summer Camp offers kids of all abilities to explore their world using touch, movement, body awareness, sight and sound…

St Francis Camp on the Lake
Jerome, Michigan, USA
St Francis Camp serves the needs of our special campers aged 8 - 80. We are located near Jerome MI...

Camp Rise Above
San Diego, California, USA
Camp Rise Above is a specialized summer camp for kids who don’t enjoy the typical summer camps with 30+ kids and low supervision. Our camp is a small group environment where every youngster receives…

Expressions at George School
Newtown, Pennsylvania, USA
Expressions is a day camp designed specifically for males and females ages 7-15 with High Functioning Autism, Apserger's Syndrome, Nonverbal Learning Disabilities and other similar social challenges...

Wediko New Hampshire Summer Program
Windsor, New Hampshire, USA
A 45-day therapeutic residential program that provides academic instruction, experiential education, group therapy, family therapy, milieu therapy, and psychiatric consultation to kids aged 6-18…

YouthCare MGH
Charlestown and Westwood, Massachusetts, USA
Founded in 1969, YouthCare offers a fun-filled seven-week therapeutic day camp for kids through age 14. Each camp day consists of recreational activities as well as therapeutic groups and…

Gulf Islands Film and Television School
Galiano Island, British Columbia, Canada
Intensive weeklong and monthlong media production programs for young people & adults. Students produce short films in teams of four. Rural island off the west coast of B.C.

Advantage Riding Academy
Merrimac, Massachusetts, USA
Horseback riding from the therapeutic to advanced level…

Spectra Academy
Montclair, New Jersey, USA
This is a new program for kids and adolescents with Asperger’s disorder, high functioning autism and those with related social pragmatic difficulties aged 8-14. Kids in this spectrum need…

Camp CARD NE
Ogunquit, Maine, USA
A SUMMER CAMP FARM EXPERIENCE FOR SOCIAL SKILL DEVELOPMENT CAMP CARD NE is a social enrichment program for kids with an autism spectrum disorder…

Camp Maple Leaf
Wallingford, Vermont, USA
A fun camp experience that focuses on social skills and leisure/relaxation skills development for kids and adolescents diagnosed with: Nonverbal Learning Disabilities Asperger's Syndrome…

SL Start
Boise, Idaho, USA
Day camp providing Developmental Therapy and Intensive Behavioral Intervention to kids 3-12...

Cincinnati Occupational Therapy Institute
Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
Summer experiences for kids with sensory processing disorder and other sensory and motor problems...

Camp STAR Summer Treatment for ADHD
Highland Park, Illinois, USA
Camp STAR is an evidence-based DAY camp for kids with behavioral, social and emmotional issues run but clinical staff from the University of Illinois Chicago, and NCYS North Shore Day Camp…

Camp New Connections
Belmont, Massachusetts, USA
Camp New Connections is a Summer Pragmatic Language Program for kids and adolescents with Asperger's Disorder, PDD-NOS, and Nonverbal Learning Disabilities...

Camp Excel
Allenwood (Wall Twp), New Jersey, USA
Camp Excel is a specialized summer camp for kids ADHD and others with Social Skills Challenges. We focus on developing social skills and the social awareness necessary for better relationships...

92nd Street Y Camp Bari Tov and Camp Tova
New York, New York, USA
92nd St. Y’s nurturing day camps for developmentally disabled kids ages 5-13. Bari Tov offers 1-to-1 supervision, while Tova provides a small group structure at our beautiful upstate campground…

Achieve Fluency Learning Camp
Stamford, Connecticut, USA
AFLC is a summer camp for kids with and without special learning needs age 4-12. Our unique program offers kids a great opportunity to receive special attention for their language, academic…


Children with Autism Making Progress
South Pasadena, California, USA
C.A.M.P. is based on the fundamental belief that kids with autism experience life with a super sensitivity unlike typically developing kids…

Affective Education: How to Teach Children on the Autism Spectrum About Emotions


Most children with Asperger’s and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) lack emotional intelligence to one degree or another. Emotional intelligence is the ability to (a) identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups; (b) harness emotions to facilitate various cognitive activities (e.g., thinking and problem solving); (c) detect and decipher emotions in faces, pictures, voices, and cultural artifacts, including the ability to identify one's own emotions; (d) comprehend emotion language; and (e) appreciate complicated relationships among different emotions.

Emotional intelligence consists of four attributes:
  1. Social awareness: Understanding the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, picking up on emotional cues, feeling comfortable socially, and recognizing the power dynamics in a group.
  2. Self-management: Being able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, managing emotions in healthy ways, taking initiative, following through on commitments, and adapting to changing circumstances.
  3. Self-awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions and how they affect one’s thoughts and behavior, knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses, and having self-confidence.
  4. Relationship management: Knowing how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.



Affective education is basically teaching children with Asperger’s and HFA why they have emotions, their use and misuse, and the identification of different levels of expression. Some of the skills obtained through this form of education include (but are not limited to) the ability to use humor and play to deal with challenges, resolve conflicts positively and with confidence, recognize and manage one’s emotions, quickly reduce stress, and connect with others through nonverbal communication.

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

When parents or teachers begin the process of teaching the Asperger’s or HFA child about emotions, it’s best to explore one emotion at a time as a theme for a project. A useful starting point is happiness or pleasure. A scrapbook can be created that illustrates the emotion. This can include pictures of people expressing the different degrees of happiness or pleasure – and can be extended to pictures of objects and situations that have a personal association with the feeling (e.g., a photograph of a rare lizard for a child with a special interest in reptiles).

Another important component to affective education includes helping the child to identify the relevant cues that indicate a particular level of emotion in facial expression, tone of voice, body language, and context. The face is described as an information center for emotions. The typical errors experienced by children on the autism spectrum include not identifying which cues are relevant or redundant, and misinterpreting cues. Parents and teachers can use a range of games and resources to “spot the message” and explain the multiple meanings (e.g., a furrowed brow can mean anger or bewilderment, or may be a sign of aging skin; a loud voice does not automatically mean that a person is angry, etc.).

Once the key elements that indicate a particular emotion have been identified, it is important to measure the degree of intensity. Parents and teachers can create an “emotion thermometer” and use a range of activities to define the level of expression (e.g., use a selection of pictures of faces, and place each picture at the appropriate point on the “thermometer.”

But, keep in mind that some children on the autism spectrum can use extreme statements such as “I am going to kill myself” to express a level of emotion that would be more moderately expressed by a “typical” child. Therefore, you may need to increase your Asperger’s or HFA child’s vocabulary of emotional expression to ensure precision and accuracy.

Affective education can also include activities to detect specific degrees of emotion in others and in oneself using internal physiological cues, cognitive cues, and behavior. Both the parent and child can create a list of the child’s physiological, cognitive, and behavioral cues that indicate his increase in emotional arousal. The degree of expression can be measured using the “emotion thermometer.” One of the aspects of affective education is to help the child perceive his “early warning signals” that indicate emotional arousal that may need cognitive control.

When a particular emotion and the levels of expression are understood, the next component of affective education is to use the same procedures for a contrasting emotion (e.g., after exploring happiness, the next topic explored would be sadness; feeling relaxed would be explored before a project on feeling anxious, etc.). The child is encouraged to understand that certain thoughts or emotions are “antidotes” to other feelings (e.g., some activities associated with feeling happy may be used to counteract feeling sad).

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Other activities to be considered in affective education are the creation of a photograph album that includes pictures of the child and family members expressing particular emotions, or video recordings of the child expressing her feelings in real-life situations. This can be particularly valuable to demonstrate the child’s behavior when expressing anger.

Lastly, it’s important to incorporate the child’s special interest in this educational process. For example, one teacher worked with an Asperger’s student whose special interest was the weather, so the teacher suggested that the student’s emotions be expressed as a weather report. A poster was created with a picture of a calm sunny day on the right side (representing happiness) and a picture of a tornado on the left side (representing rage). Various other pictures of weather patterns were place in between these two extremes to illustrate other more moderate emotions often experienced by the student.


In a nutshell, through the use of affective education, children with Asperger’s and HFA can begin the process of developing emotional intelligence. In an ideal world, the child will develop the following skills in the end:
  • Taking responsibility for his own emotions and happiness
  • Showing respect by respecting other people's feelings
  • Paying attention to non-verbal communication (e.g., watch faces, listen to tone of voice, take note of body language)
  • Looking for the humor or life lesson in a negative situation
  • Listening twice as much as she speaks
  • Learning to relax when his emotions are running high
  • Getting up and moving when she is feeling down
  • Examining his feelings rather than the actions or motives of others
  • Developing constructive coping skills for specific moods
  • Being honest with himself or herself
  • Avoiding people who don't respect his feelings 
  • Acknowledging her negative feelings, looking for their source, and coming up with a way to solve the underlying problem

==> Click here for more information on teaching social skills and emotion management...



More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism


NOTE: Below is a list of common emotions that can be incorporated into an affective education program. Each program should be tailored to the child’s specific needs.

•    Affection
•    Anger
•    Angst
•    Anguish
•    Annoyance
•    Anxiety
•    Apathy
•    Arousal
•    Awe
•    Boredom
•    Confidence
•    Contempt
•    Contentment
•    Courage
•    Curiosity
•    Depression
•    Desire
•    Despair
•    Disappointment
•    Disgust
•    Distrust
•    Dread
•    Ecstasy
•    Embarrassment
•    Envy
•    Euphoria
•    Excitement
•    Fear
•    Frustration
•    Gratitude
•    Grief
•    Guilt
•    Happiness
•    Hatred
•    Hope
•    Horror
•    Hostility
•    Hurt
•    Hysteria
•    Indifference
•    Interest
•    Jealousy
•    Joy
•    Loathing
•    Loneliness
•    Love
•    Lust
•    Outrage
•    Panic
•    Passion
•    Pity
•    Pleasure
•    Pride
•    Rage
•    Regret
•    Relief
•    Remorse
•    Sadness
•    Satisfaction
•    Self-confidence
•    Shame
•    Shock
•    Shyness
•    Sorrow
•    Suffering
•    Surprise
•    Trust
•    Wonder
•    Worry
•    Zeal
•    Zest

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...