My ASD Child

How should you handle meltdowns in your Aspergers (high functioning autistic) child? With an Aspergers child, a certain situation is fraught with frustration, and potential anger. For example, the stress and strain of school days – which are so long and arduous – are like a compressed spring. It's compressed, and compressed, and compressed, and when they get home, there's an explosion (the Jeckyl and Hyde moment). After school, it may be a time for going for a run or a walk, watching TV, etc., to get it out of their system, to debrief or to get rid of that tension. There are ways that moms and dads may pick up the signs that a meltdown is brewing (e.g., rigid thinking, being intolerant of imperfection, holding his head). Often times, there are warning signs that the Aspergers child is starting to get agitated. So, the circumstances and warning signs may be a clue. Sometimes the meltdown comes out of the blue when you have no expectation that it's going to occu

"I have a 6 y.o. son (high functioning autism). When he gets upset, he throws his head back and hits his head on the floor or anything he is near. I am so worried about him. He also won't play with other children, he throws things at them ...it's so hard! He is starting to have these fits at school as well. He also seems somewhat depressed a lot of the time. We didn't have these issues prior to elementary school. Any helpful advice would be greatly appreciated. I just want my happy child back." Unfortunately, anger and depression are both issues more common in ASD or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) than in the general population. Part of the problem stems from a conflict between longings for social contact and an inability to be social in ways that attract friendships and relationships. Even very young kids on the autism spectrum seem to know that they are not the same as other kids, and this gets emphasized in the social arena of the classroom. Many cases o

Every teacher of Aspergers and high functioning autistic (HFA) kids can expect to witness some meltdowns. At school, there are predictable situations that can be expected to trigger meltdowns, such as transitions between activities, on the school bus, getting ready to work, interactions with other kids, directives from the teacher, group activities, answering questions in class, individual seat work, and the playground. Characteristics of Meltdowns in Aspergers and HFA Kids— All young kids from time to time will whine, complain, resist, cling, argue, hit, shout, run, and defy their teachers. Meltdowns, although normal, can become upsetting to teachers because they are embarrassing, challenging, and difficult to manage. On the other hand, meltdowns can become special problems when they occur with greater frequency, intensity, and duration than is typical for the age of the youngster.   There are nine different types of temperaments in these special needs young people:

Kids with Aspergers (high functioning autism) have difficulty in communication, a wish for everything to stay the same, and sticking to their favorite routines. They can get very angry and upset if something unexpected happens or when they do not understand what they are told or what is expected from them . Their frustration levels are much higher and even the slightest thing can set them off. To outsiders their sometimes violent tantrums seem to be without a cause. As a grandparent of a boy with Aspergers, I know from experience there is always a reason for him to express his frustration in such a way. Typically, rages in Aspergers kids occur when the youngster has experienced a maximum sensory overload and can no longer interpret the environment stimuli occurring around them. The rages and outbursts may occur because of miscommunication between your youngster and another youngster, or when your youngster is simply not able to interpret the communication occurring in their e

If you have an Aspergers (high functioning autistic) youngster who has an “anger-control” problem, use these tips to (a) prevent anger outbursts and (b) help calm him down once he has launched into a rage or meltdown: 1. Allow the Aspergers youngster to use his energy in a fun way through jumping, spinning, running, climbing, swinging or other physical activities. Allow him to play-wrestle with pillows or other soft objects since agitated kids seek sensations inherent to the contact from tackling, bumping and crashing. 2. Allow the youngster to perform some heavy chores such as vacuuming, moving objects or cleaning windows and cabinet doors. This helps him focus on completing a necessary task while using his energy in a constructive way. Heavy chores or intense exercises allow kids to experience sensory input to different muscles and joints. 3. Give the youngster a creative outlet through playing with watercolor paints, drawing or coloring or molding with clay or play d

"Our 5 y.o. son with Aspergers [high functioning] can be very aggressive when he's frustrated. He's not beyond attacking whoever is the closest to him at the time, especially his playmates and siblings. He will push, spit, hit, kick ...and it's uncontrollable once his anger reaches that level. Any suggestions?!" Few situations are more difficult to deal with than having a youngster who is aggressive toward other kids. It can be embarrassing as well as frightening when your Aspergers (high functioning autistic) youngster bites, hits, scratches or kicks to get his or her way. It’s not uncommon for younger Aspergers kids to engage in this type of behavior at various points in their development and in a variety of settings. However, when it becomes very frequent or seems to be their consistent way of reacting to something they don’t like, it’s time to step in and help them change their behavior. The first step is understanding the underlying reasons why your

Question My wife and I feel like the world's worst parents. Our 12-year-old daughter (high functioning) pushes us to the breaking point daily. We try to manage her behaviors appropriately, but we often end up yelling. We know her behaviors are not her fault. But in the heat of the moment, our best intentions are overwhelmed by 12 years of frustration. We have talked to a psychologist for family counseling, but just got a lot of sympathy. We love our daughter and want to do a better job. Answer The first thing you have to realize is that you are not the world's worst parents. The fact that you are seeking help is evidence of this. Over time, relationships develop patterns, and sometimes these can be self-defeating. Yelling is the result of your frustrations with a situation that seems to have no solution at the time. I remember how angry I was when my Aspergers grandson (high functioning) was 9-years-old. I had a hard time accepting his Aspergers-related behavio