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The Value of a “Behavior Log”: Help for Children on the Autism Spectrum


Problematic emotional reactions and behaviors (e.g., aggression, meltdowns, self-injury, etc.) are common in kids and teens with Asperger’s (AS) and High Functioning Autism (HFA). In many cases, medical conditions may cause or exacerbate maladaptive behaviors. Recognition and treatment of these conditions may eliminate the need for medications (e.g., in the case of an acute onset of aggressive or self-injurious behavior, the source of pain can be identified and treated).

Some of the sources of physical discomfort that may cause or exacerbate maladaptive behaviors in AS and HFA children include the following:
  • allergic rhinitis (allergic inflammation of the nasal airways)
  • colitis (inflammation of the inner lining of the colon)
  • constipation
  • dental abscess
  • esophagitis (inflammation of the esophagus)
  • fractures
  • gastritis (inflammation, irritation, or erosion of the lining of the stomach)
  • headaches
  • otitis externa (inflammation of the outer ear and ear canal)
  • otitis media (middle ear infection)
  • pharyngitis (inflammation of the throat)
  • sinusitis (inflammation of the sinuses)
  • urinary tract infection



Additional sources of maladaptive behaviors may include the following:

1. A chronic illness or low-grade infection could make your child irritable.

2. A mismatch between behavioral expectations and cognitive ability of the youngster is often responsible for disruptive behavior. Adjustment of expectations is the most appropriate intervention. A functional analysis of behavior (completed by a behavior specialist in the settings in which the problems occur) will identify factors in the environment that exacerbate or maintain the maladaptive behavior. An intervention using behavioral techniques and environmental manipulations can then be formulated and tested.

3. Being hungry, tired, or thirsty can make your youngster cranky.

4. Changes in routine often impact behavior (e.g., parents going through divorce, a health crisis, a job change, a move, etc.).

5. Coordination problems can contribute to stress and behavior issues. If your youngster has trouble undoing buttons or zippers, the short time allotted for bathroom breaks at school can add tremendous stress. Also, when a child walks awkwardly, negotiating a crowded hallway between classes can be stressful.

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Asperger's and HFA

6. Environmental factors often precipitate challenging behaviors (e.g., fluorescent lighting, foul smells, a room that is too cool or too warm, crowded hallways, etc.).

7. Look for possible sources of pain (e.g., teeth, reflux, gut, broken bones, cuts and splinters, infections, abscesses, sprains, bruises, etc.). Any behaviors that seem to be localized might indicate pain.

8. Maybe your child has no friends at school, so recess is particularly tough for him.

9. Obstructive sleep apnea can contribute to behavioral problems and may be amenable to weight reduction, tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy, or continuous positive airway pressure.

10.  Poor sleep or coming down with a cold could easily explain unusual behavior.

11.  Some behaviors (especially those that seem particularly odd or abrupt) may be due to seizures.

12.  Negative emotions (e.g., sorrow, anger, fear, anxiety, etc.) can have an impact on behavior.

13.  Flushed cheeks or diarrhea within a few hours of eating a particular food may indicate an allergy, which can in turn create behavioral issues. Try to identify any food allergies or sensitivities that might be bothering your youngster.

14.  When behavioral problems appear to be related to menstrual cycles in a teenage girl on the autism spectrum, use of an analgesic or oral or injectable contraceptive can be helpful.

15.  Your youngster may respond with disruptive behavior if he’s being overwhelmed by too much sensory information.

Many of the behaviors that kids with AS and HFA exhibit do not make obvious sense, because they don’t seem to serve any clear purpose (e.g., an unusual attachment to inanimate objects such as rubber bands and tooth pics). But parents and teachers should assume that “strange” behaviors like this do make some sense to the child. He or she is sending coded messages about things that are important to him or her. The trick is to break the code so that the messages can be “read.”


Behaviors That Should Not Be Punished Because They Are Part of the Disorder 



==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Asperger's and HFA

Here’s an effective way to begin to “read” the coded messages:

Start recording problematic behaviors (e.g., emotional outbursts). Does the child act-out when fluorescent lights are turned on in the kitchen? Is the child more likely to have outbursts during recess at school? What time do these events most often happen?

Most problematic behaviors are triggered by an event. Just as one might suddenly feel thirsty as he or she walks past a lemonade stand, there are “triggering events” in the AS and HFA child’s day that trigger difficult behaviors. Thus, it is helpful to use a behavior log to try to identify these trigger events for some of the child’s most difficult behaviors. Rather than looking at the behavior as “bad,” parents and teachers should look for how the context or environment is out of synch with the youngster.

A behavior log is useful in both the home and educational environment where the parent and teacher can monitor the behavior of AS or HFA child. The log allows the observer to identify some specific behavior demonstrated by the child and proceed to consider the best ways to correct any inappropriate behavior. Also, the log allows a monitoring of behavior of the child over a certain time frame before taking action on or against her (i.e., punishment) so that the right experience can be developed between disciplinarian and child.

A behavior log may contain any or all of the following: 
  • Child’s name
  • Period of monitoring 
  • Date of observation 
  • Time of observation 
  • Behavior observed 
  • Description of the specific disruptive incident
  • What was happening prior to the disruption
  • Actions taken to resolve the problematic behavior
  • Comments (e.g., possible interventions that were not used that may have helped the child to calm down, steps to take in the future to help avoid the problematic behavior, steps taken that seemed to have some positive effect, steps taken that seemed to worsen the situation, etc.).

From the above recorded information, the parent and/or teacher needs to study the "behavior trend" carefully before making any conclusions or recommendations. If insufficient data is collected, more observation should be made instead jumping to a hasty solution. This type of study is usually long-term (3-4 months) with a careful eye for details.

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
By

Teaching Your ASD Child "How To Be A Good Friend"

Many children on the autism spectrum tend to have an Avoidant/Anxious attachment style in which they typically repress the desire to seek comfort from their parents or other caretakers when scared, distraught, or in pain. Instead, they rely heavily on self-soothing behaviors as a way to deal with such uncomfortable emotions. For example:
  • rocking
  • pacing
  • twirling hair
  • sucking thumbs and various objects
  • hitting or head banging
  • pulling hair, eyebrows or lashes
  • picking skin or nose
  • grinding teeth
  • cracking knuckles
  • biting nails, lips, cheeks, pencils, etc.

Even at a very young age, many Avoidant/Anxious kids tend to be independent “little adults,” relying very little on others for help. Unfortunately, their tendency to be self-sufficient and unsociable can leave parents feeling a bit rejected. Furthermore, the fact that they rarely demonstrate a desire for warmth, love, closeness or affection tends to discourage support from parents – and even siblings. Many moms and dads have reported that their High-Functioning Autistic (HFA) child is often aloof and doesn’t like to be touched or hugged.

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

As these children enter school, many appear to be more aggressive, hostile and emotionally isolated than their “typical” peers. On the playground, they may be the students who bully their classmates. As teenagers, they tend to be disliked by both peers and educators. Also, they are less emotionally involved with their parents and siblings.

Perhaps the saddest aspect of this attachment style is that these children have great difficulty in finding and keeping friends. This is often due to the fact that they lack an understanding of basic social skills, don’t know what to say or do around their peers, withdraw from others and choose to spend time alone rather than run the risk of trying to “connect,” and decide that staying to oneself is the less painful option. Many parents report that their HFA child prefers to play alone. In addition, these children often annoy their peers by butting-in during games, interrupting conversations, rambling on about their special interest or favorite topic, cut in line, make rude comments (with no intention of being rude), and so on.

Some children with an Avoidant/Anxious attachment style are significantly “asocial” (i.e., they lack the motivation to engage in social interaction, have a preference for solitary activities, have limited social expressiveness, have low sensitivity to social cues, emotions, and pragmatic use of language). Asocial tendencies become acutely noticeable in these kids from a young age due to deficits in crucial social development skills (e.g., social and emotional reciprocity, eye-to-eye gaze, gestures, normal facial expressions and body posture, sharing enjoyment and interests with others, etc.). Some of these young people really want to be social, but fail to socialize successfully, which can lead to later withdrawal and asocial behavior – particularly in the teenage years.

Friendship skills come fairly easily to “typical” kids. But, unfortunately for children on the autism spectrum, these skills must be taught. If you have a child on the autism spectrum, then you have a child who is socially and emotionally immature. Thus, parents must coach their child in social and friendship skills. In order to find and keep friends, your child must cultivate the skills to BE a “good” friend. Then – and only then – will he or she attract peers and turn the relationship into a friendship.


Here are a few tips for how parents can coach their autistic child on how to be a good friend:

1. Be a good role model. Try to find a lot of opportunities for your child to observe you being nice to someone (e.g., having a casual conversation with a stranger in the line at the grocery).

2. Give your youngster the words and behaviors to enter into - and exit - others’ play group (e.g., “If you want to join in the game that they are playing, then ask ‘can I play too’.”). Also, give him the words and behaviors to include other peers in his play group (e.g., “Would you like to play with us?”).

3. Help your child to be a “behavior observer.” Teach him to pay attention to the actions of other kids as they relate to one another (e.g., at the park, playing a board game, etc.). Then discuss with him what was observed and what things demonstrated good friendship skills (e.g., “Did you notice that Michael is being good about waiting for his turn?”), as well as the things that did NOT demonstrate these skills (e.g., “Did you see Sarah jerk that toy away from Carlie? That’s not being a very good friend.”).

4. Help your child to recognize what traits HE wants in his friends (e.g., someone who shares, plays fair, doesn’t push or hit, doesn’t call people bad names, etc.).

5. Help your youngster to develop the ability to observe the impact of his behavior on others (e.g., “I noticed that when you called your friend ‘stupid’, she looked like her feelings were hurt.).

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

6. Let your child witness you spending time with YOUR friends.

7. Notice and acknowledge successes. In order to help your youngster see when he is using good friendship skills, comment specifically on what he does in his friendships that shows he cares (e.g., “When Kayla fell down and hurt her leg, you offered to help her up and took her to a chair so she could to sit down. That’s you being a good friend!”).

8. Watch movies and read books about friendship.

9. Role play how to be a good friend.

10. Lastly, post the following (with pictures if possible) in a very prominent place (e.g. refrigerator door):

I am a good friend because...

•    I am reliable
•    I do kind things for my friends
•    I use kind language with my friends
•    I like to have fun with my friends
•    I help out when my friends are sad or have a problem
•    I like spending time with my friends
•    I remember my friends’ birthdays
•    I like to share with my friends

In a worst case scenario, the HFA child wants so desperately to “fit-in” with his peer group, but fails miserably – time and time again – due to the lack of skills in this area. As a result, he “gives up” and even has a pervasive sense of anxiety about ever trying again. He simply avoids “connecting” to friends as a way to cope with feelings of rejection.

If your best efforts to help your child “be a good friend” fall short, a mental health professional can design a treatment plan that is appropriate for the child who exhibits an Avoidant/Anxious attachment style. Treatments vary, but they will likely include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). If a co-existing condition (e.g., depression, anxiety, etc.) is also diagnosed, appropriate medications can be used.

Share with your child:


 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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By

Affective Education: How to Teach Children on the Autism Spectrum About Emotions


Most children with Asperger’s and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) lack emotional intelligence to one degree or another. Emotional intelligence is the ability to (a) identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups; (b) harness emotions to facilitate various cognitive activities (e.g., thinking and problem solving); (c) detect and decipher emotions in faces, pictures, voices, and cultural artifacts, including the ability to identify one's own emotions; (d) comprehend emotion language; and (e) appreciate complicated relationships among different emotions.

Emotional intelligence consists of four attributes:
  1. Social awareness: Understanding the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, picking up on emotional cues, feeling comfortable socially, and recognizing the power dynamics in a group.
  2. Self-management: Being able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, managing emotions in healthy ways, taking initiative, following through on commitments, and adapting to changing circumstances.
  3. Self-awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions and how they affect one’s thoughts and behavior, knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses, and having self-confidence.
  4. Relationship management: Knowing how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.



Affective education is basically teaching children with Asperger’s and HFA why they have emotions, their use and misuse, and the identification of different levels of expression. Some of the skills obtained through this form of education include (but are not limited to) the ability to use humor and play to deal with challenges, resolve conflicts positively and with confidence, recognize and manage one’s emotions, quickly reduce stress, and connect with others through nonverbal communication.

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

When parents or teachers begin the process of teaching the Asperger’s or HFA child about emotions, it’s best to explore one emotion at a time as a theme for a project. A useful starting point is happiness or pleasure. A scrapbook can be created that illustrates the emotion. This can include pictures of people expressing the different degrees of happiness or pleasure – and can be extended to pictures of objects and situations that have a personal association with the feeling (e.g., a photograph of a rare lizard for a child with a special interest in reptiles).

Another important component to affective education includes helping the child to identify the relevant cues that indicate a particular level of emotion in facial expression, tone of voice, body language, and context. The face is described as an information center for emotions. The typical errors experienced by children on the autism spectrum include not identifying which cues are relevant or redundant, and misinterpreting cues. Parents and teachers can use a range of games and resources to “spot the message” and explain the multiple meanings (e.g., a furrowed brow can mean anger or bewilderment, or may be a sign of aging skin; a loud voice does not automatically mean that a person is angry, etc.).

Once the key elements that indicate a particular emotion have been identified, it is important to measure the degree of intensity. Parents and teachers can create an “emotion thermometer” and use a range of activities to define the level of expression (e.g., use a selection of pictures of faces, and place each picture at the appropriate point on the “thermometer.”

But, keep in mind that some children on the autism spectrum can use extreme statements such as “I am going to kill myself” to express a level of emotion that would be more moderately expressed by a “typical” child. Therefore, you may need to increase your Asperger’s or HFA child’s vocabulary of emotional expression to ensure precision and accuracy.

Affective education can also include activities to detect specific degrees of emotion in others and in oneself using internal physiological cues, cognitive cues, and behavior. Both the parent and child can create a list of the child’s physiological, cognitive, and behavioral cues that indicate his increase in emotional arousal. The degree of expression can be measured using the “emotion thermometer.” One of the aspects of affective education is to help the child perceive his “early warning signals” that indicate emotional arousal that may need cognitive control.

When a particular emotion and the levels of expression are understood, the next component of affective education is to use the same procedures for a contrasting emotion (e.g., after exploring happiness, the next topic explored would be sadness; feeling relaxed would be explored before a project on feeling anxious, etc.). The child is encouraged to understand that certain thoughts or emotions are “antidotes” to other feelings (e.g., some activities associated with feeling happy may be used to counteract feeling sad).

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Other activities to be considered in affective education are the creation of a photograph album that includes pictures of the child and family members expressing particular emotions, or video recordings of the child expressing her feelings in real-life situations. This can be particularly valuable to demonstrate the child’s behavior when expressing anger.

Lastly, it’s important to incorporate the child’s special interest in this educational process. For example, one teacher worked with an Asperger’s student whose special interest was the weather, so the teacher suggested that the student’s emotions be expressed as a weather report. A poster was created with a picture of a calm sunny day on the right side (representing happiness) and a picture of a tornado on the left side (representing rage). Various other pictures of weather patterns were place in between these two extremes to illustrate other more moderate emotions often experienced by the student.


In a nutshell, through the use of affective education, children with Asperger’s and HFA can begin the process of developing emotional intelligence. In an ideal world, the child will develop the following skills in the end:
  • Taking responsibility for his own emotions and happiness
  • Showing respect by respecting other people's feelings
  • Paying attention to non-verbal communication (e.g., watch faces, listen to tone of voice, take note of body language)
  • Looking for the humor or life lesson in a negative situation
  • Listening twice as much as she speaks
  • Learning to relax when his emotions are running high
  • Getting up and moving when she is feeling down
  • Examining his feelings rather than the actions or motives of others
  • Developing constructive coping skills for specific moods
  • Being honest with himself or herself
  • Avoiding people who don't respect his feelings 
  • Acknowledging her negative feelings, looking for their source, and coming up with a way to solve the underlying problem

==> Click here for more information on teaching social skills and emotion management...



More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism


NOTE: Below is a list of common emotions that can be incorporated into an affective education program. Each program should be tailored to the child’s specific needs.

 •    Affection
•    Anger
•    Angst
•    Anguish
•    Annoyance
•    Anxiety
•    Apathy
•    Arousal
•    Awe
•    Boredom
•    Confidence
•    Contempt
•    Contentment
•    Courage
•    Curiosity
•    Depression
•    Desire
•    Despair
•    Disappointment
•    Disgust
•    Distrust
•    Dread
•    Ecstasy
•    Embarrassment
•    Envy
•    Euphoria
•    Excitement
•    Fear
•    Frustration
•    Gratitude
•    Grief
•    Guilt
•    Happiness
•    Hatred
•    Hope
•    Horror
•    Hostility
•    Hurt
•    Hysteria
•    Indifference
•    Interest
•    Jealousy
•    Joy
•    Loathing
•    Loneliness
•    Love
•    Lust
•    Outrage
•    Panic
•    Passion
•    Pity
•    Pleasure
•    Pride
•    Rage
•    Regret
•    Relief
•    Remorse
•    Sadness
•    Satisfaction
•    Self-confidence
•    Shame
•    Shock
•    Shyness
•    Sorrow
•    Suffering
•    Surprise
•    Trust
•    Wonder
•    Worry
•    Zeal
•    Zest
By

When Teachers Complain About Your ASD Child's Academic Performance


"My daughter is 12 years old, high functioning autistic and now in middle school. Her teachers are constantly sending me notes saying she isn’t working up to her ability and they can’t get her to stay on task or ask for help. When she’s home, I can get her to do well with homework. I obviously can’t go to school with her everyday. What are some ways the teachers can get her to stay on task without making her stand out to the rest of the class? She is also legally blind and doesn’t want to appear different in any other way."

If your daughter’s teachers expect her to respond to the predominantly visual learning methods that are used in most schools, obviously, they will not work for her. If this situation exists, no wonder your daughter can’t stay on task or ask for help. In addition, the symptoms of High-Functioning Autism (HFA) affect her attention span and motivation.

First of all, your daughter should be evaluated by an educational child psychologist (either privately or through the school). A full diagnosis and specialized treatment is very important, including a complete assessment of her strengths and weaknesses (including her vision problem).

Often times, children with HFA are expected to be able to function successfully in mainstream education, but they struggle through no fault of their own. These "special needs" students are very smart, but their problems with social interaction and repetitive behaviors make mainstream education difficult. In addition, your daughter has a serious vision problem, an added cause of difficulties. Once evaluated, she can be appropriately placed in a mainstream educational program with instructional aide support or in special education.
 
 
Based on your description, it sounds as though the school’s program (whether it’s mainstream or special education) is not meeting her needs, and the teachers do not have the knowledge they need to help her. Special training and classes for them is vital, as they must address issues with HFA as well as her vision problem.

The school has a responsibility to re-evaluate your daughter if she is not progressing well. This is a legal, federally mandated responsibility. You should formally request the school to address your daughter’s difficulties and, with your input and that of her doctors, teachers, and psychologist, prepare a specific, educational plan to address all of her challenges. You may need an advocacy group’s help if the school is reluctant to do this.

Often times, a child with HFA and other diagnoses is more successful when placed in a special education classroom (or even a special school) with trained teachers and aides who provide a consistent, individualized educational program in a smaller group of students. Counseling and occupational therapy can be easily scheduled, monitored, and supported by special education teachers. The child may have the same teachers and aides for several years, increasing their understanding of her needs and maximizing her progress.

While your daughter may not want this type of placement at first (because she will appear to be “different”), once she experiences the improvement in her ability to participate in the curriculum, she will understand why a special placement may be the best option for her. Counseling may help her come to terms with the fact that she is different in some ways from other students, but that she is also very gifted, as well. 

 
 
 Here's what other parents have had to say about this issue:

•    Anonymous said... Her desire to appear like the other kids may be the motivator to do her best "like the other kids" to do her homework so the teacher wont single her out and get mad at her (blending) and so when the teacher calls on her she knows the answer and the teacher won't chastise her. Maybe. Does she wear any type of eyewear to help? I'm legally blind too but fortunate to be corrected with lenses - I was bribed with contacts back when I wasn't performing to my abilities and not getting my homework done
 
•    Anonymous said... i hear that! with my b we use positive reinforcements..home and at school.visuals, since the child is blind, obviously would have to cooperate this somehow, she has a few breaks throughout the day. small quick breaks earned has helped to keep her anxiety down, stress down and attention and academics up, she will pick a desirable thing, like computer, clay, paining whatever...then she starts her work, has a small chart/token collector on her desk, and as she completes her work she earns them. when she gets all, she gets to take a break and do what she worked for. somedays may need more breaks then others, but overall this has been a wonderful way and has worked for us at school for quite a few years now.
 
•    Anonymous said... IEP is the solution. Kids don't need to know and she will get all the accommodations she needs.
 
•    Anonymous said... My son is 15 and a sophmore in high school. He was diagnosed finally at the end of his 7th grade year with High functioning Aspergers. He is in AP courses an Athletic Student Trainer for the second year and wants to study sports medicine. He excels in his classes and things come naturally to him but can not for the life of him remember or care to do his homework. His average will drop to a 37% and the next week it will be a78% because he averages in his head how many homework assignments he can miss and still pass the class. How can I teach him how important this is for his future. He wants to enroll in a dual enrollment program next year to graduate with an associates degree but his Counselor says probably won't be able to due to he doesn't complete his assignments. ... what can do any suggestions. He has a504 plan already.
 
•    Anonymous said... story of my life! Does she have a 504 plan? Last year when my daughter now 11 entered Middle School we had a heck of a time. Then we received the official diagnosis and created a 504 plan with the school. It doesn't fix everything and there is still daily communication with almost every teacher, but it has helped a lot. Every afternoon she goes to skill block where an IA checks her agenda and makes sure she has all her assignments and brings home all her required homework. Then when my husband picks her up from school, he checks her agenda and makes sure the required homework books made it into her bag before they even leave the parking lot of the school. I also email regularly with her teachers to make sure she stays on task with her assignments. We work very closely with them to ensure each of us is doing everything we can to help her. For example math, at home she would do fine with math work. At school, she has a D in math and is bombing all her quizzes. We found that providing her graphing paper helps her stay organized as she is working through the math problems, and providing her a quiet place to take the quiz alleviates most of the distractions she experiences. She goes from getting a 40 to getting a 90 by those two simple changes.
 
•    Anonymous said... u need to call school get a IEP. My son is 12 has aspergers. He just started JR high. he was having similar problems. If the homework becomes too overwhelming u can get it reduced.
 
•    Anonymous said... 504 plan has to do with allergies, an IEP is for individualized education program....aka...special ed
 
•    Anonymous said... Getting an IEP is easier said than done. Think I'm gearing up for that fight soon... We are their best advocates. 

*    I am having the same concern except my son is a 15 yr old sophmore. He was diagnosed late in his 7th grade year with High functioning Aspergers. He is very gifted and school work comes naturally to him. He is a student Athletic Trainer for the second year and wants to continue his education in sports medicine. He is in AP courses but will miss homework assignments because he forgets to write it down or just simply does not want to do it. He is wanting to take dual enrollment classes next year, but his Counselor will not recommend him if he can't do the homework now. How can I get him ready?... concerned High schoolers Mommas

Post your comment below…
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
By

Cognitive Issues in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

"Can you help me understand how my child thinks? His rationale is quite confusing at times, and I find we are rarely on the same page with simple day-to-day issues." 

In looking at the cognitive aspects of the child with ASD level 1 or High-Functioning Autism (HFA), there are four main areas to consider: (1) mindblindness, (2) cognitive inflexibility, (3) impaired imaginative play, and (4) visual learning strength. We'll look at each of these in turn:

1. Mindblindness (theory of mind): This refers to the child’s ability to predict relationships between external and internal states. It is the ability to make inferences about what another person is thinking. More specifically, the HFA child:
  • Is unaware that others have thoughts, beliefs, and desires that influence their behavior.
  • Views the world in black and white (e.g., admits to breaking a rule even when there is no chance of getting caught).
  • Is unaware that others have intentions or viewpoints different from his own; when engaging in off-topic conversation, does not realize the listener is having great difficulty following the conversation.
  • Displays a lack of empathy for others and their emotions (e.g., takes another person’s belongings).
  • Is unaware he can say something that will hurt someone's feelings or that an apology would make the person "feel better" (e.g., tells another person their story is boring).
  • Prefers factual reading materials rather than fiction.
  • Has impaired reading comprehension; word recognition is more advanced (e.g., difficulty understanding characters in stories, why they do or do not do something).
  • Displays difficulty with inferential thinking and problem solving (e.g., completing a multi-step task that is novel).

2. Lack of cognitive flexibility: This refers to the child’s ability to problem solve, to engage in and maintain mental planning, to exert impulse control, to be flexible in thoughts and actions, and to stay focused on a goal until its completion. More specifically, the HFA child:

A. Is distractable and has difficulty sustaining attention.
  • Has difficulty with organizational skills (e.g., What do I need to do, and how do I go about implementing it?).
  • Has difficulty with sequencing (e.g., What is the order used to complete a particular task?).
  • Has difficulty with task initiation.
  • Has difficulty with task completion.
  • Has difficulty with direction following.
  • Has difficulty when novel material is presented without visual support.
  • Engages in competing behaviors (e.g., vocalizations, noises, plays with an object, sits incorrectly, looks in wrong direction).

B. Has poor impulse control, displays difficulty monitoring own behavior, and is not aware of the consequences of his behavior.
  • Displays rigidity in thoughts and actions.
  • Shows a strong desire to control the environment.
  • Has difficulty with transitions.
  • Has difficulty incorporating new information with previously acquired information (i.e., information processing, concept formation, analyzing/ synthesizing information), is unable to generalize learning from one situation to another, may behave quite differently in different settings and with different individuals.
  • Engages in repetitive/stereotypical behaviors.
  • Displays a strong need for perfection, wants to complete activities/assignments perfectly (e.g., his standards are very high and noncompliance may stem from avoidance of a task he feels he can't complete perfectly).

C. Displays inflexible thinking, not learning from past mistakes (note: this is why consequences often appear ineffective).

D. Can only focus on one way to solve a problem, though this solution may be ineffective.
  • Does not ask for help with a problem.
  • Does not ask a peer or adult for needed materials.
  • Continues to engage in an ineffective behavior rather than thinking of alternatives.
  • Is able to name all the presidents, but not sure what a president does.
  • Is unable to focus on group goals when he is a member of the group.

3. Impaired imaginative play: This refers to the ability to create and act out novel play scenarios. While the autistic child may seem to engage in imaginative play, a closer look reveals play that appears to have an imaginary theme (in terms of characters and topics), but is actually very rigid and repetitive. It is important to observe free-play/free-time choices. Is the play really novel, or is it a retelling of a TV show or video? If the play is novel, can it be changed, can playmates alter it, or is the same play repeated over and over? The child:
  • Uses limited play themes and/or toys.
  • Uses toys in an unusual manner.
  • Attempts to control all aspects of the play activity; any attempts by others to vary the play are met with firm resistance.
  • Follows a predetermined script in play.
  • Engages in play that, although it may seem imaginary in nature, is often a retelling of a favorite movie/TV show/book (note: this maintains rigidity in thoughts, language, and actions).
  • Focuses on special interests such that he dominates play and activity choices.

4. Visual learning strength: This refers to being able to learn most successfully through visual modes. This is especially true for the Asperger child. Visual information remains stable over time, allowing the child to process, respond, and remember the information (e.g., I don’t have to worry about forgetting, I can take my time, the information is still there). Not only is this child a visual learner, but he is also a visual thinker. Visual learning compensates for many of the child’s areas of need. The child:

A. Benefits from schedules, signs, cue cards.
  • Uses visual information to help focus attention (e.g., I know what to look at).
  • Uses visual information as a “backup” (e.g., I have something to look at when I forget), especially when new information is presented.
  • Uses visual information to provide external organization and structure, replacing the child’s lack of internal structure (e.g., I know how it is done, I know the sequence).
  • Uses visual information to make concepts more concrete.
  • Uses visual information as a prompt.

B. Has specific strengths in cognitive areas.
  • Displays average or above average intellectual ability.
  • Displays average or above average receptive and expressive language skills
  • Has an extensive fund of factual information.
  • Has an excellent rote memory.
  • Displays high moral standard (e.g., does not know how to lie).
  • Displays strong letter recognition skills.
  • Displays strong number recognition skills.
  • Displays strong word recognition skills.
  • Displays strong oral reading skills, though expression and comprehension are limited.
  • Displays strong spelling skills.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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Addressing the Root Causes of Disobedience in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

“How can I get my 9 y.o. son (high functioning autistic ) to obey and do as he's told? He won't do his homework and refuses to clean his room. He is defiant and talks back. When we try to discuss these problems with him in a peaceful, mature manner, he usually ends up getting angry and yells at us. And with the recent start of summer school, things have gotten much worse. What are we doing wrong?”

Unfortunately, disobedience is an issue more common in High-Functioning Autism (HFA) than in the general population. It can occur for numerous reasons. For example, anxiety, low-frustration tolerance, sensory sensitivities, social skills deficits, difficulty understanding emotions and their impact on others, when rituals can’t get accomplished, when the youngster's need for order or symmetry can’t be met… just to name a few. Thus, it’s important to understand that in many cases, the child’s oppositional behavior may be a symptom of some underlying issue related to his or her disorder.



Children on the autism spectrum possess a unique set of attitudes and behaviors related to their disorder that may result in the appearance of willful misbehavior. For example:
  • They tend to be physically and socially awkward, which makes them a frequent target of school bullies.
  • They suffer from “mindblindness,” which means they have difficulty understanding the emotions others are trying to convey through facial expressions and body language. Mindblindness often gives parents the impression that their HFA child is insensitive, selfish and uncaring.
  • They may have other issues like ADHD or Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
  • They may have anxiety about a current or upcoming event (e.g., the start of school).
  • They may fixate on their own interests and ignore the interests and opinions of others.
  • They may become so obsessed with their particular areas of interest that they get upset and angry when something or someone interrupts their schedule or activity.
  • They may be unable to resist giving in to their obsessions and compulsions.
  • They may be reluctant to participate in an activity they can’t do perfectly or an activity that is difficult.
  • They have trouble expressing their own emotions and understanding the feelings of others. 
  • They have difficulty understanding rules of society.
  • They have difficulty transitioning to another activity (this is especially hard if the current activity is not finished).
  • They don’t understand social cues.
  • They don’t understand implied directions.
  • They don’t know how to “read between the lines.”
  • They don’t “take in” what is going on around them.
  • They can’t fully appreciate what impact their behaviors have on others.
  • They can be extremely sensitive to loud noise, strong smells and bright lights. This can be a challenge in relationships as they may be limited in where they can go on, how well they can tolerate the environment, and how receptive they are to instruction from parents and teachers.
  • The parent or teacher changes a circumstance or rule that has been established.
  • Social conventions are a confusing maze for these “special needs” kids, resulting in an inability to tolerate the little frustrating things that come up throughout the day.
  • Low self-esteem caused by being rejected and outcast by peers often makes these kids even more susceptible to “acting-out” behaviors at home and school.
  • Due to trouble handling changes in routine, a simple variation in schedules may be enough to cause a meltdown.
  • Because they struggle to interpret figures of speech and tones of voice that “typical” kids naturally pick up on, they may have difficulty engaging in a two-way conversation.
 
Any or all of these triggers can result in certain behavioral patterns that “look like” disobedience (e.g., arguing, tantrums, refusing to listen, etc.). However, their responses to these triggers often have more to do with anxiety and rigidity than their need to defy authority.

So, what can parents do to help their HFA child to cope better? Do some investigation and create a plan:

The Investigation— 

1. Keep a journal (or if it is a frequently occurring behavior, keep a chart) for noting every incidence of the targeted behavior (e.g., the child getting angry when asked to stop playing video games and start doing homework).

2. Include the time of day the behavior occurred.

3. Think of what might have happened directly before the behavior, and also earlier in the day.

4. Think, too, of what happened during and directly after the behavior, and whether it offered your child any reward (even negative attention can be rewarding if the alternative is no attention at all).

5. Ask yourself the following questions. Does the behavior tend to:
  • occur when things are very noisy or busy?
  • occur when something happens - or doesn't happen?
  • occur when routine is disrupted?
  • occur in anticipation of something happening?
  • occur during transitions?
  • occur after a certain event?
  • be more frequent during a certain time of day?

6. Keep track over the course of a few weeks and look for patterns.

7. Take the data from your journal or chart (e.g., patterns you've discovered, observations on environments, etc.) and see if you can figure out what's behind the behavior. For example:
  • Maybe your child acts-out because “being good” gets him or her no attention.
  • Maybe your child explodes over something inconsequential because he has used up all his patience weathering frustrations earlier in the day.
  • Maybe your child begs for punishment because going to her room feels safer than dealing with a challenging situation.
  • Maybe your child balks at math when he or she sees too many problems on the page.

8. Once you have a working theory, make some changes in your youngster's environment to make it easier for him or her to behave appropriately. For example:
  • Recognize situations your child feels challenged by, and offer an alternative between compliance and disobedience.
  • Instead of being happy that your child seems to be handling frustrating situations, provide support earlier in the day so that his patience will hold out longer.
  • If your child’s worksheet has too many problems, fold it to expose only a row at a time, or cut a hole in a piece of paper and use it as a window to show only one or two problems at once.
  • Give your child lots of attention when she is being good - and none at all for bad behavior (other than just a quick and emotionless timeout).

 ==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder
 
You may not always guess right the first time, and not every change you try will work. Effective parents will have a big bag of tricks they can keep digging into until they find the one that works that day, that hour, that minute. But analyzing behavior and strategizing solutions will help you feel more in control, and your youngster will feel safer and more secure. This alone often cuts down on a lot of “misbehavior.”

The Plan—

The basic idea in developing a behavior-management plan for an HFA youngster is to try many different strategies and find the management techniques that work best for him or her. This is an ongoing process. As working strategies are identified, they can be added to the plan and used when the child starts to get upset.

Some kids refer to their behavior-management plans as their “toolbox” and the specific strategies they use to control their behavior and emotions as their “tools.” This analogy may be very helpful. You can take this even further by creating a physical box for your child to put the strategies in (written on pieces of paper). And you could be really creative and have the pieces of paper shaped like various tools.

Again, it’s important to identify the specific behavior-management strategies that work best for your child. These strategies should be put down in a formal plan for referral when he or she encounters an aggravating event. It is also important to explore how different techniques may be used at different times.

Referring back to the toolbox, a screwdriver can be very useful, but not for pounding in nails. Application: An HFA youngster may feel better after running around in the yard, but this may not be possible when he or she is getting upset about something in the classroom. Strategies need to be in place to handle the different situations that may arise.
 

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Developing Parental Optimism and Self-Care: Encouragement for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Because it can be exasperating for parents to deal with the behavioral challenges of a youngster with Asperger’s (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA), it can be reassuring for them to know that some of the negative behaviors of their son or daughter often become positive traits in adulthood.

For example, the child who doodles and draws all through school may well become an artist; the most manipulative youngster often turns out to be a remarkable leader, entrepreneur or politician; the most obstinate youngster often turns out to have fierce determination; and the youngster who argues all the time (like a jail house lawyer) may actually become a lawyer someday.

This pattern has been evidenced again and again throughout my experience in working with families affected by autism spectrum disorders:
  • One bright child with AS and ADHD who was impulsive, highly distractible, and had a poor attention span, grew up to be an exceptional emergency healthcare specialist. In an emergency, his adrenaline was apparently stimulated, so he became highly focused, able to put his analytic abilities to use while doing several tasks at once.
  • One very hyperactive youngster with AS turned out to be a very enthusiastic, productive entrepreneur.
  • Another child who sold his mom’s jewelry for 50 cents apiece grew up to be a real estate tycoon.
  • One child who was an incessant tinkerer, taking everything apart, became a mechanical engineer.
  • One boy who tried to help his peers avoid arguing, and who was teased because he was always trying to keep the peace and never projected any opinion of his own, became a mediator.
  • Another child who was very inflexible became an airplane controller who could focus intensely on the task at hand.

Self-care needs to be a priority for moms and dads of kids on the autism spectrum. For example:
  • Parents need to find supportive relatives and friends.
  • They need to locate a support group or an online parent support community that will provide a place for them to vent frustrations and obtain valuable suggestions and parenting strategies.
  • Parents need to develop a strong sense of humor. The youngster with AS or HFA needs to feel that it is not the end of the world that he has a disorder – and he needs to be able to laugh at life’s odd twists and turns, rather than taking life too seriously. Moms and dads, too, need resilience and humor. When they can have fun, and be silly with their child, everyone benefits.
  • Moms and dads themselves need nurturing to help nurture their youngster on the spectrum.
  • They need more sleep than other parents do, because the child with “special needs” can sap his parents’ energy; his disorder demands constant assistance.
  • And, parents need to go out and have fun regularly – away from their child.



It’s challenging to be a parent of any child, but it’s even more difficult to be a parent of a youngster with an autism spectrum disorder. In these special cases, parents need to become an organizer, interpreter, analyst, advocate, a spiritual advisor, psychiatrist, problem solver, notetaker, lawyer, a friend and companion, a disciplinarian, and a cheerleader. That’s certainly juggling a lot of balls all at once! But the payoff will be worth it.

Someday, your high-functioning child may very well start his or her own business, become the Mayor of your city, the CEO of a major company, an engineer, or a medical professional. So, when your AS or HFA child becomes successful in adulthood, don’t be surprised – and remember I told you so.


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