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Causes of School-Related Anxiety in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

It's common for ASD level 1 (high functioning autistic) children of all ages to experience school anxiety and school-related stress.

This is often most apparent at the end of summer when school is about to start again, but it can occur year-round. Social, academic and scheduling factors play a major role, as do hidden environmental stressors.

Below are some of the anxiety-related factors that both moms and dads and teachers should consider when dealing with ASD children:

1. Many schools now have anti-bullying programs and policies. Though bullying does still happen at many schools, even those with these policies, help is generally more easily accessible than it was years ago. The bad news is that bullying has gone high-tech. Many children use the Internet, cell phones and other media devices to bully other children, and this type of bullying often gets very aggressive. 

One reason is that bullies can be anonymous and enlist other bullies to make their target miserable. Another reason is that they don't have to face their targets, so it's easier to shed any empathy that they may otherwise feel. There are ways to combat cyber-bullying, but many moms and dads aren't aware of them – and many bullied Aspies feel too overwhelmed to deal with the situation.


2. Most ASD children want to have friends but may not have the social skills to acquire them. Concerns about not having enough friends, not being in the same class as friends, not being able to keep up with friends in one particular area or another, interpersonal conflicts, and peer pressure are a few of the very common ways children on the autism spectrum can be stressed by their social lives (or lack of a social life) at school.

3. Children are being assigned a heavier homework load than in past years – and that extra work can add to a busy schedule and take a toll.

4. Due in part to the busyness of kids’ lives and the hectic schedules of most moms and dads, the sit-down family dinner has become the exception rather than the rule in many households. While there are other ways to connect as a family, many families find that they’re too busy to spend time together and have both the important discussions and the casual day recaps that can be so helpful for Aspies in dealing with the issues they face. Due to a lack of available family time, many moms and dads aren't as connected to their children, or knowledgeable about the issues they face.

5. Not having necessary supplies can be a very stressful experience for an autistic youngster. If the youngster doesn't have an adequate lunch, didn't bring his signed permission slip, or doesn't have a red shirt to wear on "Red Shirt Day," for example, he may experience significant stress.

6. You may already know that there are different styles of learning -- some learn better by listening, others retain information more efficiently if they see the information written out, and still others prefer learning by doing. If there's a mismatch in learning style and classroom, or if your youngster has a learning disability (especially an undiscovered one), this can obviously lead to a stressful academic experience.

7. Noisy classrooms and hallways, noise pollution from nearby airports, heavy traffic, and other sources have been shown to cause stress that impacts ASD kids’ performance in school.

8. Many Aspies aren't getting enough sleep to function well each day. As schedules get busier, even young children are finding themselves habitually sleep-deprived. This can affect health and cognitive functioning, both of which impact school performance. Operating under a sleep deficit doesn’t just mean sleepiness, it can also lead to poor cognitive functioning, lack of coordination, moodiness, and other negative effects.

9. In an effort to give their autistic children an edge, or to provide the best possible developmental experiences, some moms and dads are enrolling their children in too many extra-curricular activities. As these children become teens, school extracurricular activities become much more demanding.


10. With the overabundance of convenience food available these days and the time constraints many experience, the average Aspie's diet has more sugar and less nutritious content than is recommended. This can lead to mood swings, lack of energy, and other negative effects that impact stress levels.

11. Most Aspies experience some level of stress or anxiety in social situations they encounter in school. While some of these issues provide important opportunities for growth, they must be handled with care and can cause anxiety that must be dealt with.

12. A good experience with a caring teacher can cause a lasting impression on a youngster's life – but so can a bad experience! While most teachers do their best to provide “special needs kids” with a positive educational experience, some Aspies are better suited for certain teaching styles and classroom types than others. If there's a mismatch between student and teacher, the youngster can form lasting negative feelings about school or his own abilities.

13. Many of us experience test anxiety, regardless of whether or not we're prepared for exams. Unfortunately, some studies show that greater levels of test anxiety can actually hinder performance on exams. Reducing test anxiety can actually improve scores. Certain aspects of an ASD youngster's environment can also cause stress that can spill over and affect school performance.

14. There's a lot of pressure for children to learn more and more and at younger ages than in past generations. For example, while a few decades ago kindergarten was a time for learning letters, numbers, and basics, most kindergarteners today are expected to read. With test scores being heavily weighted and publicly known, schools and teachers are under great pressure to produce high test scores; that pressure can be passed on to children.

15. Just as it can be stressful to handle a heavy and challenging workload, some kids on the spectrum can experience stress from work that isn't difficult enough. They can respond by acting-out or tuning-out in class, which leads to poor performance, masks the root of the problem, and perpetuates the difficulties.

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
By

ASD: Tantrums, Rage, and Meltdowns - What Parents Need to Know

Question

My eldest boy J___ who is now 5-years-old was diagnosed with ASD (level 1) last July. We did 6 months of intense therapy with a child psychologist and a speech therapist before we moved over to Ghana. J___ has settled in well. He has adjusted to school very well and the teachers who are also expats from England are also dealing with him extremely well.

My current issue is his anger. At the moment if the situations are not done exactly his way he has a meltdown. Symptoms are: Extreme ear piercing screaming, intense crying, to falling down on the floor saying he is going to die. I have tried to tell him to breathe but his meltdown is so intense that his body just can't listen to words. I then have asked him to go to his room to calm down. He sometimes (very rarely) throws things across the room, but does not physically hurt anyone. As I have two younger boys (ages 1 and 3) I still need to be aware of their safety. I then managed to put J___ in his room with the help of a nanny. He throws all blankets off the bed (which doesn't bother me) and then hides under them. Today I waited 10 minutes then went upstairs to talk to him, but he then started again with the extreme crying and screaming at me. It took him over an hour to calm down fully. The situation arose as the nanny and I were helping him to make muffins and the nanny put a spoonful of the mixture into the muffin tin.

I am requesting your help on ways to calm him down in a manner that is acceptable. He is getting too old to be put in the "thinking corner/naughty corner" and I am a petite person so I'm not going to physically put him there. I am finding his resistance at the moment is a lot with me and his father.

I have structures in place by visual laminated pictures of how the morning is run and the structure before bed. This works fine, but like I said when things aren't done exactly his way, he can have an outburst in a flash. Please give me some strategies on how I can better manage these meltdowns.

FYI - he was diagnosed on the border on the CARS model. I have found a qualified speech therapist who is from England which we go to once a week (but as it is summer break we don't go back to August) to assist with his pragmatic language.


Answer

Problems related to stress and anxiety are common in kids with ASD (high-functioning autism). In fact, this combination has been shown to be one of the most frequently observed comorbid symptoms in these children. They are often triggered by or result directly from environmental stressors, such as:
  • a sense of loss of control
  • an inherent emotional vulnerability
  • difficulty in predicting outcomes
  • having to face challenging social situations with inadequate social awareness
  • misperception of social events
  • rigidity in moral judgment that results from a concrete sense of social justice violations.
  • social problem-solving skills
  • social understanding

The stress experienced by kids with ASD may manifest as withdrawal, reliance on obsessions related to circumscribed interests or unhelpful rumination of thoughts, inattention, and hyperactivity, although it may also trigger aggressive or oppositional defiant behavior, often captured by therapists as tantrums, rage, and “meltdowns”.
 

Educators, therapists, and moms/dads often report that kids on the spectrum exhibit a sudden onset of aggressive or oppositional behavior. This escalating sequence is similar to what has been described in children on the spectrum, and seems to follow a three-stage cycle as described below. Although non-autistic kids may recognize and react to the potential for behavioral outbursts early in the cycle, many kids and teenagers with the disorder often endure the entire cycle, unaware that they are under stress (i.e., they do not perceive themselves as having problems of conduct, aggression, hyperactivity, withdrawal, etc.).

Because of the combination of innate stress and anxiety and the difficulty of kids with ASD to understand how they feel, it is important that those who work and live with them understand the cycle of tantrums, rage, and meltdowns, and the interventions that can be used to promote self-calming, self-management, and self-awareness as a means of preventing or decreasing the severity of behavior problems.

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The Cycle of Meltdowns

Meltdowns typically occur in three stages that can be of variable length. These stages are (1) the “acting-in” stage, (2) the “acting-out” stage, and (3) the recuperation stage.

The “Acting-In” Stage

The “acting-in” stage is the initial stage of a tantrum, rage, or meltdown. During this stage, kids and teenagers on the autism spectrum exhibit specific behavior changes that may not seem to be related directly to a meltdown. The behaviors may seem minor. That is, children with ASD may clear their throats, lower their voices, tense their muscles, tap their foot, grimace, or otherwise indicate general discontent. Furthermore, somatic complaints also may occur during the “acting-in” stage. Kids also may engage in behaviors that are more obvious, including emotionally or physically withdrawing, or verbally or physically affecting someone else. For example, the youngster may challenge the classroom structure or authority by attempting to engage in a power struggle.

During this stage, it is imperative that a mother/father or educator intervene without becoming part of a struggle. The following interventions can be effective in stopping the cycle of tantrums, rage, and meltdowns – and they are invaluable in that they can help the youngster regain control with minimal adult support:

1. Intervention #1 involves displaying a chart or visual schedule of expectations and events, which can provide security to kids and teenagers with ASD who typically need predictability. This technique also can be used as advance preparation for a change in routine. Informing kids of schedule changes can prevent anxiety and reduce the likelihood of tantrums, rage, and meltdowns (e.g., the youngster who is signaling frustration by tapping his foot may be directed to his schedule to make him aware that after he completes two more problems he gets to work on a topic of special interest with a peer). While running errands, moms and dads can use support from routine by alerting the youngster in the “acting-in” stage that their next stop will be at a store the youngster enjoys.

2. Intervention #2 involves helping the youngster to focus on something other than the task or activity that seems to be upsetting. One type of redirection that often works well when the source of the behavior is a lack of understanding is telling the youngster that he can “cartoon” the situation to figure out what to do. Sometimes cartooning can be postponed briefly. At other times, the youngster may need to cartoon immediately.

3. Intervention #3 involves making the autistic child’s school environment as stress-free as possible by providing him/her with a “home-base.”. A home-base is a place in the school where the child can “escape.” The home-base should be quiet with few visual or activity distractions, and activities should be selected carefully to ensure that they are calming rather than alerting. In school, resource rooms or counselors' offices can serve as a home-base. The structure of the room supersedes its location. At home, the home-base may be the youngster's room or an isolated area in the house. Regardless of its location, however, it is essential that the home-base is viewed as a positive environment. Home-base is not “timeout” or an escape from classroom tasks or chores. The youngster takes class work to home-base, and at home, chores are completed after a brief respite in the home-base. Home-base may be used at times other than during the “acting-in” stage (e.g., at the beginning of the day, a home base can serve to preview the day's schedule, introduce changes in the typical routine, and ensure that the youngster's materials are organized or prime for specific subjects). At other times, home-base can be used to help the youngster gain control after a meltdown.

4. Intervention #4 involves paying attention to cues from the child. When the youngster with begins to exhibit a precursor behavior (e.g., throat clearing, pacing), the educator uses a nonverbal signal to let the youngster know that she is aware of the situation (e.g., the educator can place herself in a position where eye contact with the youngster can be achieved, or an agreed-upon “secret” signal, such as tapping on a desk, may be used to alert the youngster that he is under stress). A “signal” may be followed by a stress relief strategy (e.g., squeezing a stress ball). In the home or community, moms and dads may develop a signal (i.e., a slight hand movement) that the mother/father uses with their youngster is in the “acting-in” stage. 
 

5. Intervention #5 involves removing a youngster, in a non-punitive fashion, from the environment in which he is experiencing difficulty. At school, the youngster may be sent on an errand. At home, the youngster may be asked to retrieve an object for a mother/father. During this time the youngster has an opportunity to regain a sense of calm. When he returns, the problem has typically diminished in magnitude and the grown-up is on hand for support, if needed.

6. Intervention #6 is a strategy where the educator moves near the youngster who is engaged in the target behavior. Moms/dads and teachers move near the autistic youngster. Often something as simple as standing next to the youngster is calming. This can easily be accomplished without interrupting an ongoing activity (e.g., the educator who circulates through the classroom during a lesson).

7. Intervention #7 is a technique in which the mother/father or educator merely walks with the youngster without talking. Silence on the part of the grown-up is important, because a youngster with ASD in the “acting-in” stage will likely react emotionally to any adult statement, misinterpreting it or rephrasing it beyond recognition. On this walk the youngster can say whatever he wishes without fear of discipline or reprimand. In the meantime, the grown-up should be calm, show as little reaction as possible, and never be confrontational.

8. Intervention #8 is a technique that is effective when the youngster is in the midst of the “acting-in” stage because of a difficult task, and the mother/father or educator thinks that the youngster can complete the activity with support. The mother/father or educator offers a brief acknowledgement that supports the verbalizations of the youngster and helps him complete his task. For instance, when working on a math problem the youngster begins to say, “This is too hard.” Knowing the youngster can complete the problem, the educator refocuses the youngster's attention by saying, “Yes, the problem is difficult. Let's start with number one.” This brief direction and support may prevent the youngster from moving past the “acting-in” stage.

When selecting an intervention during the “acting-in” stage, it is important to know the youngster, as the wrong technique can escalate rather than deescalate a behavior problem. Further, although interventions at this stage do not require extensive time, it is advisable that grown-ups understand the events that precipitate the target behaviors so that they can (1) be ready to intervene early, or (2) teach kids and teenagers strategies to maintain behavior control during these times. Interventions at this stage are merely calming. They do not teach kids to recognize their own frustration or provide a means of handling it. Techniques to accomplish these goals are discussed later.

The “Acting-Out” Stage

If behavior is not diffused during the “acting-in” stage, the youngster or adolescent may move to the “acting-out” stage. At this point, the youngster is dis-inhibited and acts impulsively, emotionally, and sometimes explosively. These behaviors may be externalized (i.e., screaming, biting, hitting, kicking, destroying property, or self-injury) or internalized (i.e., withdrawal). Meltdowns are not purposeful, and once the “acting-out” stage begins, most often it must run its course.

During this stage, emphasis should be placed on youngster, peer, and adult safety, and protection of school, home, or personal property. The best way to cope with a tantrum, rage, or meltdown is to get the youngster to home base. As mentioned, this room is not viewed as a reward or disciplinary room, but is seen as a place where the youngster can regain self-control.

Of importance here is helping the individual with ASD regain control and preserve dignity. To that end, grown-ups should have developed plans for (1) obtaining assistance from educators, such as a crisis educator or principal, (2) removing other kids from the area, or (3) providing therapeutic restraint, if necessary. 

The Recuperation Stage

Following a meltdown, the youngster has contrite feelings and often cannot fully remember what occurred during the “acting-out” stage. Some may become sullen, withdraw, or deny that inappropriate behavior occurred; others are so physically exhausted that they need to sleep.

It is imperative that interventions are implemented at a time when the youngster can accept them and in a manner the youngster can understand and accept. Otherwise, the intervention may simply resume the cycle in a more accelerated pattern, leading more quickly to the “acting-out” stage. During the recuperation stage, kids often are not ready to learn. Thus, it is important that grown-ups work with them to help them once again become a part of the routine. This is often best accomplished by directing the youth to a highly motivating task that can be easily accomplished, such as activity related to a special interest.

Preventing Tantrums, Rage, and Meltdowns

Kids and teenagers with autism spectrum disorder generally do not want to engage in meltdowns. Rather, the “acting-out” cycle is the only way they know of expressing stress, coping with problems, and a host of other emotions to which they see no other solution. Most want to learn methods to manage their behavior, including calming themselves in the face of problems and increasing self-awareness of their emotions. The best intervention for tantrums, rage, and meltdowns is prevention. Prevention occurs best as a multifaceted approach consisting of instruction in (1) strategies that increase social understanding and problem solving, (2) techniques that facilitate self-understanding, and (3) methods of self-calming.
 

Increasing Social Understanding and Problem Solving

Enhancement of social understanding includes providing direct assistance. Although instructional strategies are beneficial, it is almost impossible to teach all the social skills that are needed in day-to-day life. Instead, these skills often are taught in an interpretive manner after the youngster has engaged in an unsuccessful or otherwise problematic encounter. Interpretation skills are used in recognition that, no matter how well developed the skills of a person with ASD, situations will arise that he or she does not understand. As a result, someone in the person's environment must serve as a social management interpreter.

The following interpretative strategies can help turn seemingly random actions into meaningful interactions for young people on the spectrum:

1. Analyzing a social skills problem is a good interpretative strategy. Following a social error, the youngster who committed the error works with an adult to (1) identify the error, (2) determine who was harmed by the error, (3) decide how to correct the error, and (4) develop a plan to prevent the error from occurring again. A social skills analysis is not “punishment.” Rather, it is a supportive and constructive problem-solving strategy. The analyzing process is particularly effective in enabling the youngster to see the cause/effect relationship between her social behavior and the reactions of others in her environment. The success of the strategy lies in its structure of practice, immediate feedback, and positive reinforcement. Every grown-up with whom the youngster with ASD has regular contact, such as moms and dads, educators, and therapists, should know how to do social skills analysis fostering skill acquisition and generalization. Originally designed to be verbally based, the strategy has been modified to include a visual format to enhance child learning.

2. Visual symbols such as “cartooning” have been found to enhance the processing abilities of persons in the autism spectrum, to enhance their understanding of the environment, and to reduce tantrums, rage, and meltdowns. One type of visual support is cartooning. Used as a generic term, this technique has been implemented by speech and language pathologists for many years to enhance understanding in their clients. Cartoon figures play an integral role in several intervention techniques: pragmaticism, mind-reading, and comic strip conversations. Cartooning techniques, such as comic strip conversations, allow the youngster to analyze and understand the range of messages and meanings that are a natural part of conversation and play. Many kids with ASD are confused and upset by teasing or sarcasm. The speech and thought bubble as well as choice of colors can illustrate the hidden messages.

Conclusion—

Although many kids and teenagers on the spectrum exhibit anxiety that may lead to challenging behaviors, stress and subsequent behaviors should be viewed as an integral part of the disorder. As such, it is important to understand the cycle of behaviors to prevent seemingly minor events from escalating. Although understanding the cycle of tantrums, rage, and meltdowns is important, behavior changes will not occur unless the function of the behavior is understood and the youngster is provided instruction and support in using (1) strategies that increase social understanding and problem solving, (2) techniques that facilitate self-understanding, and (3) methods of self-calming.

Children experiencing stress may react by having a tantrum, rage, or meltdown. Behaviors do not occur in isolation or randomly; they are associated most often with a reason or cause. The youngster who engages in an inappropriate behavior is attempting to communicate. Before selecting an intervention to be used during the “acting-out” cycle or to prevent the cycle from occurring, it is important to understand the function or role the target behavior plays.

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

 ==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

 ==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism


References—

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By

Managing “Fixations” in Children and Teens on the Autism Spectrum

"How much should we allow our daughter [high functioning] to play video games? She would spend most of her time doing this if we let her. My husband and I are divided on this issue, which has caused a riff between us."

If you are the mom or dad of a youngster with ASD level 1 [High-Functioning Autism], you may have heard your youngster exclaim, "But I can't live without it!" on more than one occasion. You may also notice that the book bag you just saw him pack is suddenly filled with a few more Harry Potter books. Or perhaps that suitcase for the trip to grandma's house has a Gameboy in it, when he promised he would leave it at home this time.

Fixations or perseverations with certain topics or objects, ranging from books, video games, or trains to history, movies, or any number of other subjects, are a classic symptom of ASD. In addition to impairments in social functioning, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual lists as a characteristic of the disorder restricted, repetitive, and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:
  • apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals
  • encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus
  • persistent preoccupation with parts of objects
  • stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g., hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements)

What's the harm? Well... while these fixations must be understood and accepted as part of the disorder, they are also coping mechanisms that kids with ASD use to escape social anxiety. For example, video games are a very common interest among children with the disorder. Although the virtual world and these games can be a great place for kids to practice social skills, make friends, and have fun, the interest in video games can quickly become an unhealthy and even dangerous obsession.

For kids who get bullied all day at school or feel ostracized and out of place in their everyday lives, it's soothing to come home and play video games for hours. In the safe haven of online gaming, children on the spectrum can isolate themselves from real-life people and the complexities of face-to-face interactions. However, the social setting in online gaming or chat rooms is unrealistic and far more predictable than real-life social situations. While social conversations in real life are highly complex and unpredictable, online gamers share a common and simple language for communicating.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

Since most online interaction occurs through typing, there is time to think about a response, and the response can be given in symbols and phrases without regard for facial expressions or nonverbal cues. In addition, curse words, rude remarks, and hurtful jokes may be considered socially acceptable online, but they will not be welcome responses in the real world. This disjunction between socially acceptable interactions in the virtual world and the real world can be terribly confusing to kids with High-Functioning Autism who already struggle to understand basic social conventions.

Moms and dads of a youngster on the autism spectrum are thus faced with a dilemma: Do we limit our youngster's time spent doing the activities that interest her most and run the risk that she will withdraw even more, or do we allow her unfettered access to things like video games and science fiction/fantasy books and movies despite the obvious social repercussions?

According to many experts, it's important for moms and dads to find the balance between accepting their youngster's unique interests, and encouraging their youngster to develop social skills and additional interests that might take him outside of his comfort zone. By granting unlimited access to video games and other fixations, moms and dads offer their kids nothing more than a quick fix.

The perseveration may be a convenient coping skill for facing the hardship of a long, difficult day at school, but it will not be the healthiest path into adulthood. Kids with Autism need to be challenged to explore other interests and find healthier coping skills. It's easy to use video games and other antisocial outlets to cope, but easier isn't usually better.

If young people with ASD aren't encouraged and helped to develop social skills and independent living skills, there will be a direct impact on how many friends they have, and how successful they are in school and on the job later in life. They may be soothed in the short term, but that deep underlying desire to make friends will remain a source of constant dissatisfaction and further isolation.

Addressing fixations is difficult for moms and dads. On one hand, video games and other interests encourage more social interaction than kids with ASD would ordinarily have. On the other hand, it's NOT the kind of social interaction that prepares them for life. Moms and dads should encourage their youngster to develop interpersonal skills “off” of the computer, and set limits around how often the child uses or talks about his or her fixations.

Moms and dads should offer incentives to their youngster to balance his or her time spent focused on the fixation and time spent doing social activities. For example, if a youngster is passionate about video games, the mother could agree to allow the youngster a certain amount of time to play each week in exchange for the youngster's participation in an after-school activity.

Parents need to learn how to negotiate their youngster's fixations and find the appropriate balance. For example, if a youngster wants to take the entire series of Harry Potter books on an experiential learning trip, parents can explain that the books are too heavy and the youngster will be permitted to choose only one favorite book.

In this way, the parent acknowledges how important the particular interest is to the youngster and offers him a choice in the process, while setting clear and fair limits and ensuring the child will still get the social interaction he needs out of the program. Similarly, if a youngster insists on taking his portable video game or DVD player to summer camp, moms and dads can reach a compromise (e.g., “You can take it and use it on your way to the campsite, but when you arrive, the camp director will hold onto it for you).




When children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism have a clear structure around when they can engage in their particular interest, they are more willing to accept rules limiting its use. At some of the schools that specialize in “special needs” students, the kids are allowed to read their favorite book at designated times, but they are not permitted to bring the book to meals. In this way, the children learn that their interests are perfectly acceptable when explored in socially appropriate ways, places, and times.

The fixations and perseverations of kids on the autism spectrum fulfill a need in their lives that will likely never disappear completely. However, their usefulness in real life is extremely limited. Everyone needs an occasional break from the rigors of daily life, but kids with the disorder depend on their mother and father to set limits around these fixations and offer guidance in navigating the complex social world around them. By making a plan and following through with it, you accept your youngster for the unique being he or she is, while providing the child with the tools needed to live up to his or her full potential.

==> Need more tips on how to handle your child's fixations and obsessions? You'll find more than you'll need right here...


 
COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said... Funny because I had this conversation with my 8 year old son's psychologist recently. He said as a clinician he knows his answer should be "yes" to limit the video games, but he also said that because my son doesn't just play video games, he researches videos about how to defeat levels and finds parody videos about video games (also his biggest game he loves is Minecraft) that the game he plays most and all his research are somewhat educational. He pointed out that if it wasn't that, it would most likely be something else. We do take time away for the rest of a day if he is acting up horribly or not getting schoolwork done. If we don't have anything going on, we let him play. If there are things, he is limited and given several warnings in advance so he can prepare himself to change gears and not have a meltdown over it.
•    Anonymous said... Garek loves Midievil 2......but since he is way ahead in his schoolwork, pulling down As and Bs, and researching .....ok....obsessing about world history......meh.....not a concern
•    Anonymous said... It causes a big riff between the two of us too....but I would limit her playing time for an hour or take the game away for an hour or so if she shows anger, frustration or just being aggressive to it.
•    Anonymous said... My AS son is 13 and gets roughly one hour of video game time each day during the week, right after school. This gives him a break between school and homework which he desperately needs. During the weekend, he may get more time, depending on what's going on in general. My son has a few really good friends in our neighborhood and he loves to be outdoors so as the weather gets better, he spends more and more time outside, which is great. Hope you guys can find a happy medium.
•    Anonymous said... My son loves history as well. Especially about the different wars. We limit video games a lot in our house. If we don't they become an obsession. He has chores around the house that earn his game times.
•    Anonymous said... My son plays video games more than he should. However, living in a small place with no known kids his age in the neighborhood it makes it hard to do much else. Our son does do some reading as well as schoolwork so we feel that some time is ok.
•    Anonymous said... we have same problem
•    Anonymous said... I agree once my lil guy is off the darn thing he becomes so creative and interested in other things
•    Anonymous said... I don't always agree with the 2 hour a day rule when it comes to Aspie kids. It also can help them with social issues, and helps them in reacting to challenging situations without melting down. My son does get more then the generic two hour a day rule suggested by All doctors. That two hours isn't just video game time, they also mean screen time period.
•    Anonymous said... We allow 1.5 hours per day using a timer. Breaks in between. The visual red yellow green light timer from Amazon is what works best for us. We enforce it religiously.
•    Anonymous said... We are in the same boat. During the summer ours plays a lot more but we have him In activities like springboard diving whi h he loves. I use the tablet to help enforce rules. We take computer and tablet time away when he acts out.
•    Anonymous said... We have set a two hour time period where our lad is allowed to play. It turns off when the time is up. He likes having a specific time and often finds himself having so much fun doing other things that he doesn't bother anymore.
•    Anonymous said... We saw a specialist yesterday with our 8 year old. She said to limit to no more than 2 hours a day.
•    Anonymous said... We use an egg timer......and take one, two, three hour breaks.......not while eating, finish priorities first, etc

Post your comment below…
By

How Parents Can Alleviate Fearfulness in Their Child on the Spectrum

"My 9 y.o. son [high functioning autistic] is under a ton of stress right now [I think mostly because of the coronavirus scare]... but there are numerous other things he tends to worry about too. How can we as his parents reduce his excessive and unrealistic fears?!"

Many young people with ASD level 1, or High-Functioning Autism (HFA), will receive another diagnosis at some point in their development.   In one study, 70% of a sample of kids with an autism spectrum disorder (ages 10-14) had also been diagnosed with another disorder.  41% had been diagnosed with two or more additional disorders.  The most common types of additional diagnoses are those related to anxiety.

Kids with HFA have more severe symptoms of phobias, motor/vocal tics, obsessions/compulsions, and social phobia than “typical” kids do.  Fear and anxiety makes it very difficult for young people on the spectrum to do everything from making friends to going school. And to further complicate matters, they have a much harder time self-reporting their symptoms – many of which only occur internally (e.g., constant worrying). 



Unfortunately, children with HFA suffer with more than their fair share of fear and anxiety. A multitude of traits associated with autism spectrum disorders contribute to this, for example:
  • difficulty in accepting criticism or correction
  • difficulty in assessing cause-and effect-relationships (e.g., behaviors and consequences)
  • difficulty in expressing emotions
  • difficulty in generalizing
  • difficulty in handling relationships with authority figures
  • difficulty in interpreting meaning to others’ actions
  • difficulty in learning self-monitoring techniques
  • difficulty in negotiating either in conflict situations or as a self-advocate
  • difficulty in perceiving and applying unwritten social rules or protocols
  • difficulty with “teamwork”
  • difficulty with organizing and sequencing (i.e., planning and execution; successful performance of tasks in a logical order)
  • difficulty with unstructured time
  • discomfort with competition
  • extreme reaction to changes in routine, surroundings, people
  • generalized confusion during periods of stress
  • lack of trust in others
  • low to medium level of paranoia
  • low-frustration tolerance
  • mental shutdown response to conflicting demands and multi-tasking
  • mind-blindness
  • missing or misconstruing others’ agendas, priorities, preferences
  • out-of-scale reactions to losing
  • poor judgment of when a task is finished (often attributable to perfectionism)
  • reluctance to ask for help or seek comfort
  • rigid adherence to rules and social conventions where flexibility is desirable
  • ruminating (i.e., fixating on bad experiences with people or events for an inordinate length of time)
  • sensory sensitivities
  • sleep difficulties
  • social skills deficits
  • tendency to “lose it” during sensory overload, multitask demands, or when contradictory and confusing priorities have been set
  • very low level of assertiveness

 ==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

Most parents find it very painful to watch their HFA youngster struggle day-to-day with excessive fear and anxiety, but it's especially difficult if they’re not sure whether their child is worrying “too much” and in need of assistance.

So, how do you know if your youngster’s fears are excessive and a cause for concern? Here are just a few of the signs that he or she is in a chronic state of worry or fear:
  • The child says negative things about himself such as, “I’m no good” …or “I hate myself” … or “I can’t do this.”
  • The child frequently complains of stomachaches, being nervous at school, being afraid to go to sleepovers or birthday parties, or has frequent headaches.
  • He has frequent “meltdowns” over seemingly small things that usually do not bother “typical” children.
  • The child often avoids the things that trigger her fear and anxiety (e.g., spends a great deal of time in the school nurse's office, refuses to participate in activities other kids enjoy, throws a tantrum before every appointment with the dentist or doctor, gets sick on Sunday nights due to worrying about going back to school on Monday morning, etc.).
  • She appears to be in need of constant reassurance from parents.

To manage the fearfulness in HFA kids, parents are encouraged to employ some of the following techniques:

1. Use social stories, games and puppets to help your youngster learn to relax and manage stress and fear.

2. Stay composed when your youngster becomes stressed-out about a situation or event.

3. Set a calm example. Parents can set the tone for how stress is handled in the home.

4. Recognize and praise small accomplishments in facing fears.

5. Prevent fear-producing events by “external control” (i.e., structuring the environment to make it predictable, consistent, and safe).

6. Plan for transitions (e.g., allow extra time in the morning if getting to school is difficult).

7. Never try to convince your youngster that his fear is unjustified. He’ll just become more convinced otherwise as he tries to prove to you that the fear is real. Instead, help him think about things realistically (e.g., if he is worried that he is going to fail an upcoming test at school, say something like, “If you fail this test, then you can just study harder for the next one …we all fail from time-to-time …that’s how we learn”).

8. Modify expectations during stressful periods.

9. Limit your youngster's exposure to distressing news or stories.

10. Increasing exposure to the fearful event is an effective strategy for overcoming fear.  For example, if your youngster is afraid of getting on a plane to travel to a vacation destination, start out by showing him pictures of planes, then visit the airport, then go talk to another child who has flown before and get that child’s feedback, then finally, have your child board the plane.  The important idea here is to take small steps and gradually expose your youngster to the feared situation, task, or object.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

11. Help your youngster identify the source of the fearfulness.

12. Help your child to find a distraction when he is in a state of fear. Getting involved with some fun activity is key in keeping fear at bay.

13. Gradually shift “fear-control” to your HFA youngster by preparing her for fear-producing situations through discussing antecedents (i.e., whatever it is that precedes the fear-response), settings, triggers, and actions to take.

14. Don’t model “excessive caution.” For example, overly-cautious moms and dads are likely to say things like, “Be careful on the slide because you might fall and hurt yourself” without realizing that they are increasing their youngster’s apprehension. It’s better to say confidently, “I’m sure you’ll have fun on the slide. I’m right over here if you need me.”

15. Don’t dismiss your child’s feelings. Telling him “not to worry about _____” (fill in the blank) will only make him feel like he’s doing something wrong by feeling uneasy. Let him know that it’s okay to feel anxious about something, and encourage him to share his thoughts and emotions.

16. Don’t allow your youngster to avoid everything that causes her to be afraid. Fearfulness tends to peak at the beginning of a new or scary situation, then eases off. If you can help your youngster get through the initial stage of high stress, she’s likely to have a positive experience, which will make it easier the next time.

17. Develop, practice, and rehearse new behaviors prior to exposure to the fear-producing situation.

18. Create a “things that I’m afraid of” jar, and encourage your youngster to write the fear-inducing thought on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Then, suggest to her that the fear is now in the jar and no longer needs to be in her head. In this way, you are helping your youngster put the anxiety outside of herself.

19. Create a “fearfulness hierarchy,” and put the events in order from easy to hard (write this down for the child to view). For example, at the top of the list may be “fear of going to gym class,” and at the bottom of the list may be “fear of eating _____ (a particular food item).”

20. Balance any changes by trying to maintain as much of the child’s regular routine as possible (e.g., stick to a regular bedtime and mealtimes).




21. Lastly, practicing breathing exercises can help your HFA child decrease the physical symptoms of fearfulness and stay calm. Coach your child on the following techniques:
  • Sit comfortably with the back straight and the shoulders relaxed. Put one hand on the chest and the other on the stomach.
  • Inhale slowly and deeply through the nose for 4 seconds. The hand on the stomach should rise, while the hand on the chest should move very little.
  • Hold the breath for 2 seconds.
  • Exhale slowly through the mouth for 6 seconds, pushing out as much air as possible. The hand on the stomach should move in when exhaling, but the other hand should move very little.
  • Continue to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. Focus on keeping a slow and steady breathing pattern of 4-in, 2-hold, and 6-out.

Other techniques to reduce fearfulness include:
  • using positive thoughts/self-talk
  • the use of photographs, postcards or pictures of a pleasant or familiar scene (these need to be small enough to be carried around and should be laminated in order to protect them)
  • physical activities (e.g., using a swing or trampoline, going for a long walk with the dog, doing physical chores around the house, etc.)
  • massage
  • aromatherapy

Whatever method is chosen to reduce fearfulness, it is vital to identify the cause. This should be done by careful monitoring of the antecedents to an increase in fear and the source of the fear tackled. For example, many children with HFA have difficulty with noisy, crowded environments. Thus, the newly arrived middle school student who becomes agitated or aggressive in the hallway during passing periods may need an accommodation of leaving class a minute or two early to avoid the congestion and over-stimulation that provokes fearfulness and subsequent dysfunctional coping mechanisms.

Key issues to address when discussing this strategy are:
  • What can be done to eliminate the problem (i.e., the antecedent condition)?
  • What can be done to modify the fear-producing situation if it can’t be eliminated entirely?
  • Will the antecedent strategy need to be permanent, or is it a temporary "fix" which allows the child to increase skills needed to manage the fearfulness in the future?

The importance of using antecedent strategies should not be underestimated. Kids with HFA often have to manage a great amount of personal stress. Striking a balance of short and long term accommodations through manipulating antecedents to fearfulness and problem behavior is often crucial in setting the stage for later skill development.

In treating excessive fear in your child, observe his or her behavior and ask yourself the following questions:
  • How does fear interfere with my youngster’s life?
  • How frequently does my youngster exhibit symptoms of fearfulness?
  • How long do the symptoms of fearfulness last?
  • How long have these problems been of concern?
  • Is it hard to manage?
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how severe is the problem?
  • What effect does fear have on my youngster and those around him or her?
  • What factors are contributing to the fearfulness?
  • When did I begin to notice some of the signs of fearfulness in my child?

By getting answers to these questions – and by utilizing the ideas listed above – parents should be able to greatly reduce the level of fearfulness that their HFA child experiences.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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We asked the following question to a few of our members:  What is the greatest source of stress and/or anxiety for your child on the autism spectrum? 

 Here are a few of their answers:

•    Social interaction
•    Schoolwork. Routines. Hygiene.
•    School
•    Schedule changes-- unexpected events or demands
•    Homework and large crowds/groups.
•    We finally got the school to stop assigning homework
•    I'm on a mission. They are too delayed socially and need to work on Social homework.
•    School
•    School
•    Definitely school.
•    School. Boredom there, suppressing their interests, unstructured social interactions, staff that are not trained to work with differences....
•    Change in routine, homework, and sensory issues (food is hard for my son... the smells, textures, mixed anything).
•    Anything that is unknown. This could be school related, social situations, change in regular routine, even vacations or visit to a new, unknown place.
•    Other people not doing things "right".
•    The unknown. Education concepts, people, places, events etc. Sensory issues with food, showers, hair brushing, being touched. Separation anxiety from his primary caregivers & pet. Fear of the future by concern for what is going to happen. Catastrophizing.
•    This sounds exactly like my son. He worries about his future and how he will have enough money to take care of himself if anything terrible happens to me or his dad  😢 he's only 10 and it's heartbreaking that these kinds of worries enter the head of a child
•    our daughter is 10 as well and she worries if she will have to leave her home, what will happen to her stuff and who will take care of her if something happens to us.
•    School
•    Switching the wifi off...
•    At the minute it's everything to do with school
•    Kids acting loud, crazy, and/or unpredictably.
•    Large group of people.
•    My son stresses out about school, and doing assignments that involve presenting in front of a group. Also, he does not like to go to school most days because he gets bored.
•    My grandson (age 8) has had anxiety attacks over the following: 1) World War III, 2) A meteor hitting the Earth, and 3) The sun burning out. The every-day stuff doesn't bother him at all.
•    school and academic studies that aren't concrete
•    so many from which to choose! Loud chaotic classrooms.(confined space, no escape)
•    Crowds. But with me and her trainee therapy dog outside she went into a packed cafe for a menu today.
•    School, doctors or any kind of medicine
•    Homework and loneliness.
•    Social interaction or people dressed up in costumes (like mascots)
•    People being nasty in youtube social media, she gets soooooo upset that people say such terrible things
•    School and leaving the house
•    School
•    School.
•    That people are talking about her and laughing at her. Brushing her teeth, having to tackle cleaning her room (but then she is a 12 year old girl  :P ) Lunch time at school. Not being invited to parties  :(
•    something happening to his father, thunder, possibility of war, big crowds of people.
•    School
•    Going from one activity/place to another or letting other people touch his stuff.
•    The unknown. In all forms, no way for them to have control can send them spiraling into panic, rage, depression.
•    His popularity factor. He is 9.
•    School and leaving the house

By

How to Identify "Meltdown Triggers" in Your Child on the Autism Spectrum

"Is it possible to learn a child's 'triggers' that may cause meltdowns, and is there a way to intervene before the meltdowns happen?"

Kids with Asperger’s (AS) and High Functioning Autism (HFA) tend to “act out” their feelings. This is how they communicate. They show you how they feel with their whole bodies, not just their words. The message of a meltdown is: “I’m frustrated and upset, and I don’t know what lead up to it or what to do about it.” Our role as moms and dads is to read these hidden messages and help our “special needs” kids express their frustration and confusion in more appropriate ways.

If your HFA youngster is prone to the periodic meltdown, know that it is very possible to find a way to understand his or her frustrations, but change the inappropriate expression of them!

Here are some important tips that will help you recognize your child’s “meltdown triggers” so you can prevent the meltdown from happening in the first place:

1. Dealing with anger: Since “meltdown triggers” and “angry feelings” are directly related, having discussions about anger (during those times when your child is calm) can help you establish a foundation to build on when identifying your youngster’s triggers. Ask her some important questions about emotions (e.g., what makes her angry, happy, sad, etc.). The purpose of this is to teach your child how to identify various feelings, to learn what it means to feel angry, happy, sad, disappointed, etc., but not to give her an excuse for acting-out behavior.  This also helps your child to communicate her feelings to you clearly so that you are in the best position to help her learn how to cope.

2. Delayed gratification: HFA children tend to be very rigid. When they set their mind to something, they want it now, and if they don't get it, they may have a meltdown. As parents, we understand that “waiting” patiently for a reward or a desired activity can make it that much sweeter, but AS and HFA children don't have the coping skills to understand this concept of delayed gratification. Thus, it will be your job as a parent to teach your son or daughter to wait for the things that he or she wants. Practice this through role playing with your child, or create a social story around “waiting for something special.”

3. Identifying physical symptoms: Often there are physical symptoms that go along with impending meltdowns. The child’s nervous system kicks into high gear when a trigger is present and can cause several identifiable sensations (e.g., rapid heartbeat, flushed cheeks, rapid breathing, cold hands, muscle tension, etc.). Ask your youngster what she feels in her body when the trigger you are talking about is present. When your child is aware of the warning signs her body gives her, it can serve as a natural cue to put the new plan you came up with during your problem-solving discussions into action.

4. Teaching independence: In your child's mind, the entire world revolves around her. What she wants, she gets, and her mom and dad should always be at her beck and call. Of course, the world doesn't work that way, and a major meltdown trigger is watching someone else get the attention. This might occur if you have another youngster or a pet, or if you are visiting with friends. Teaching your AS or HFA child to be independent is an important part of parenting. At home, give her the opportunity to entertain herself quietly by playing with dolls, for example. This will often translate into entertaining herself when you're focusing on something else, which can help avoid meltdowns.

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children on the Autism Spectrum

5. Internal frustration: Some HFA children tend to be perfectionistic and obsessive. The inability to do something right after several attempts, or the lack of language skills to get her point across can get the “meltdown engine” revving. Observation is your best tool for identifying “low frustration-tolerance” in your child. Pay attention and be aware of the warning signs. Watch and listen, whether your youngster is playing a board game with friends, doing homework, or trying to tie her shoes. Keep your eyes and ears open at all times, and look for patterns and connections.

6. Over-stimulation: Although many HFA children enjoy going out to eat, going to malls, attending birthday parties, etc., it can get quite overwhelming for them to the point they start reacting to these unfamiliar surroundings and faces. Many of these kids will exhibit frustration simply because “the unfamiliar” gets to them, especially if there are a lot of foreign noises and smells. Thus, if the environment seems too “sensory-unfriendly” for your child, you may simply want to “bail out” and return home for a time out.

7. Parents rushing around: HFA kids don’t understand time as grown-ups do. They pick up on your anxiety around time constraints, but they are not always able to work quickly in order to meet your demands. If you’re always in a rush and your youngster is always having meltdowns, try to investigate whether there is a connection between the two. Of course there are times when you’re in a rush, and your youngster will need to hurry along. When this happens, state your expectations clearly and take action. For example, you may need to put his shoes on yourself, pick him up, strap him in the car seat, and leave. Try to do this automatically without shouting and resentment. And if you feel like you’re always rushing your “special needs” youngster, make a special effort to slow down where possible.

8. Parents talking on the phone: Sometimes when the parent is talking on the phone for extended periods of time, it can be a trigger for some HFA kids. It’s either the loss of attention that they react to, or the desire to have control over you that gets them to meltdown when you are on the phone. A “call box” has helped many moms and dads get through lengthy phone conversations. Have a box ready with some things inside that your youngster can busy herself with while you spend time on the phone. Of course, you could always choose not to put yourself through the dilemma and make your calls at another time – or keep them as short as possible.

9. Reliance on routine: HFA children tend to rely on routines to keep them comfortable and content. In fact, most of these kids are dependent on routines, because too much activity and change can overwhelm them. A change in routine is a major meltdown trigger that can easily set your youngster off. Thus, try sticking to daily routines as precisely as possible. If you do have to change the routine, make sure your child is well-rested and content. Let her bring a favorite toy or stuffed animal with her if you have to go somewhere. If you notice she is starting to exhibit signs of a meltdown, take her into a quiet place to calm down.

10. Shopping: Shopping is not an enjoyable leisure activity for most HFA children. It can be an assault on your youngster’s senses that leaves her feeling overwhelmed. This is because the sights, sounds, touch and “busy-ness” of everything can cause sensory overload. But if your child survives the sensory assault, then the frustration of not getting everything she wants can lead to a meltdown. So in general, shopping with “special needs” kids is not desirable. But of course there will be times when shopping with your youngster is a necessity. If this is the case, then it would be helpful to keep it short. State your expectations clearly and stick to them. Make your child an active participant rather than a passive bystander. You can do this by giving her a job to do (e.g., help with putting the items into the trolley, unpacking them, choosing them, etc.). But bear in mind that it will be hard for your child to fill up the whole trolley and receive nothing for herself. This is a very high expectation to hold. If you take her shopping, you may want to allow her to get something of her own, but you can define what that is (e.g., her favorite cereal, snack, etc.), and then set the limit at that.

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children on the Autism Spectrum

11. Signaling: Signaling is a common behavior modification strategy for children on the autism spectrum. Choose one specific trigger to work on, and then come up with a phrase or hand signal that will serve as an alert to your youngster that the trigger is present. This allows you to make your youngster aware of the trigger subtly in social situations. Once you have alerted her, she’ll have the chance to self-correct. However, if you signal your youngster, but she doesn’t use the response the two of you had planned on, have her take a break from whatever is going on to come speak to you in a quiet place (away from an audience). This is where you step in and help your youngster correct her behavior. Let her know that you gave her the “cue,” but she didn’t respond the way the two of you had discussed. Remind her of what you talked about, and let her know what the consequences will be if she doesn’t use the plan the next time you signal her (today).

12. Teaching “self-observation”: When your child is calm, let him know what you observe regarding the connection between his triggers and his meltdowns (e.g., “I’ve noticed that when you think something is unfair, you get upset and start throwing things”). By connecting the dots for your child, you are helping him learn his triggers. This technique should be part of a problem-solving discussion that includes you and your youngster coming up with a plan for what he will do differently the next time he is in this dilemma. 

13. The 3-step plan: If your child appears to be gearing-up for a meltdown, quickly implement this 3-step plan: (1) Acknowledge, (2) Reflect, (3) Insert the reality...
  • “acknowledge” your youngster’s feelings (e.g., “I can see you’re upset because you lost that game of checkers”)
  • “reflect” your youngster’s unfulfilled desire, wish or want (e.g., “You don’t like to lose at games”)
  • “insert the reality” by informing your child of the facts (e.g., “It’s impossible for people to win all the time – nobody’s perfect, so you can try to win the next time”)

This method provides emotional support because it helps your child feel understood. It helps him see that you understand his inner wishes and desires, but it also teaches him that this doesn’t mean “his wish is your command.”

14. Tiredness, hunger and sickness: When your HFA child is tired, hungry or sick, he is running on lower emotional resources to cope with normal expectations, which is the case with ALL kids – but especially those on the spectrum. This means that if tired or hungry or sick, where your child would normally be happy to share, get a bath, get dressed, etc., he will be unhappy. Thus, do what you can to deal with the primary issue – feed your youngster, or get him ready for bed. Then think of how long it will be until he is sleeping. Try not to get hooked into the power struggle. Access your own emotional resourcefulness since your youngster will be running on empty.

15. Transitional experiences: When HFA kids move from one experience to another (e.g., waking up, going to school, moving from “play time” to “homework time,” etc.), it’s a prime opportunity for a meltdown. Many transitional experiences can erupt into meltdowns, because HFA kids don’t like change. They find the transition difficult. It may not be that they don’t want to get a bath or get dressed – it could be that they are protesting at having to change! Thus, give your youngster time to adjust when change occurs. Of course, this is easier said than done when we live in a rush. But, HFA kids do need more time (e.g., in the morning, your youngster may need to stay in his pajamas for a little while before getting dressed). Also, “prepare” your youngster for transitions as often as possible (e.g., “We’re leaving to go to grandma’s house in a 15 minutes. You can start finishing your game”).



 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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Strategies for Transforming ASD Meltdowns into Moments of Connection

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a multifaceted neurological condition influencing how individuals interpret the world around them and how ...