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"The schools do not understand the characteristics of ASD..."

"My 8-year-old son has ASD and ADHD. The schools do not understand the characteristics of autism spectrum disorder, let alone recognize it. What do parents do to get the schools to help these kids; they do have rights!"


You, the parent, need to educate your child's teacher. Use the following information as a start:

Tips for teachers re: "understanding ASD characteristics":

Teaching a youngster with ASD (high-functioning autism) can seem daunting, especially if you are unfamiliar with the disorder. But it doesn’t have to be. If you are about to teach a student with ASD, understanding the syndrome is your best preparation.

Kids on the spectrum tend to have normal or above-normal intelligence and high verbal skills, though they may have a hard time expressing their thoughts. As younger kids, they may show the ability to focus on one task for a long period of time, but they typically do not understand sarcasm, innuendo, or double meaning and have a hard time reading body language and social clues. Teachers are more likely to see boys rather than girls with the disorder.

Kids with autism may have a very specific and even obsessive interest, such as baseball statistics, trains, or dinosaurs. If a youngster in your class is interested in a particular subject, incorporating it into your teaching, when appropriate, can help keep him focused on the lesson.
 

Following the "Rules"—

Because many kids with ASD have difficulty with social interaction, they sometimes appear to be misbehaving when they don’t mean to be. Some kids do not realize that classroom rules apply to them. They may develop their own ‘rules’ and have a high demand to be perfect.

While some students with ASD can focus on one subject, you might find they have trouble concentrating in other areas. A visual cue, such as a yellow warning card placed on the desk for distracting behavior or personalized instructions for what to do during downtime can help keep a youngster focused.

As students grow older and school routines change, different tactics might help. One school used a peer educator to help the student with ASD. The peer educator would meet him at his locker in the morning, because he wouldn’t remember which book to bring. It helped cue him about what he needed to get together. Sitting the student next to compassionate students or kids with similar interests, such as baseball, improved the atmosphere.

Enlisting Peers—

Teaching your students about autism can help them handle with maturity and compassion the challenges classmates with the disorder can present. While many students may not grasp the concept of the autistic spectrum, they can understand that certain kids are more sensitive and need a bit of extra help. Some parents may choose to come have a discussion about ASD, while others may leave talking about people’s individual differences to the teachers. One class had a discussion about differences and bullying, led by student council leaders, that helped include his student with ASD.

Kids at that age don’t understand disabilities unless they’re explained. It isn’t that he’s trying to be this way, it’s just the way he was born. They can relate in that way. I’m not even sure I used the word autism.

Helping your students understand ASD, or at least recognize some of its traits, will help them cope when they experience a meltdown. One teacher would often ask her student’s peer educator to help him calm down by walking with him. He just needed time to have a quieter environment where he could settle down and talk about what he’s upset about. It wasn’t easy for him to brush things off, but he could get control, come back, and be part of the group again.
 

Giving a youngster time to recompose—by sitting in a special “study desk” or talking to a counselor or teacher in the hall—can help get things back to normal. Ask what caused the meltdown: for a younger kid, it might be the texture of a pencil; an older kid may have felt flustered when the room got too chaotic. But be warned: Sometimes they may not be able to express what happened without a little digging on your part.

A tiny shift in environment can make a huge difference for kids with ASD. If you’re not sure just what tiny shift your environment needs, experts recommend talking to the parents, who will most likely know their youngster better than anyone else.

Keeping Good Communication—

Meeting with parents and kids separately before school starts, if possible, is one good way to transition into a new year. One teacher also shows the kids their desks, lockers, and the restroom. Expect that things might be a bit rough for a few weeks. Just like you’re getting to know your new students, they are trying to figure you out, too—while adjusting to a new schedule and new surroundings as well. Woods says that a positive change in the demeanor of a youngster with ASD typically happens after a few weeks, once they feel more comfortable in their setting.

Keeping the line of communication with parents open, be it through e-mail or notes sent home, can help them work together to provide a positive learning environment. The goal is to help kids with autism learn and be able to adapt socially, and teachers need to consider every way of reaching them.

Think outside the box and try different things. Find out what makes them tick.
 

Best Comment:

I feel like the worse parent in the world,  I have a 14 year old who was just recently diagnosed with ASD's. I have just started reading your blogs and I find them very informative.   I knew all along that it was Autism but every professional I went to just added another label.  It started with ADHD and sensory in kindergarten, then OCD, ODD (grade 1), Tourettes(grade 3), over anxious disorder, non verbal learning disorder, executive dysfunction Grade 7, and finally ASD in Grade 9.

Anyways a big problem for my son is anxiety.  I recognized this at a very early age, my son was a bed wetter up until the age of 8 and he would hide it from his father for fear that his father would be mad.  In Kindergarten and Grade 1 if my son had a bad day at school he was punished at home.  His father would take everything away.  A problem arose at school where my son would freak out afraid that the staff would tell his father.  The anxiety over getting in trouble was bigger than the actual behaviors.

When his father became physically abusive in Grade 3 I left.  I have been doing it on my own ever since.  I have lost my career as a teacher because I have had to miss so much time to attend to my son.  He always had a severe dislike of school.  In Grade 1 he would either run or fight.  If a staff member cornered him when he was upset he would physically lash out.  My son was restrained, locked in rubber rooms and more often sent home.

I would physically have to carry my son to school on several occasions but he quickly became too big.  The last time I forced him to go to school 3 years ago he jumped out of a moving car.  Now my days exist of pleading, bribing, reasoning, begging etc just to get him to school.  Some days he out right refuses to go , other days I get him to the parking lot and he cries hysterically.

On the days I get him to school he quite often is sent home, for refusing to do his work or for crying.  Other days he says he simply cannot handle it and leaves.

I have been fighting the school to get supports for my son.  Currently he is in a segregated classroom for 2 1/2 hours a day.  I don't think the lack of structure in this classroom is working,  there are always different people in and out.  I want an aid for my son to accompany him to the regular classroom. 
 

I have wrote a letter of appeal to the School board and the department of education as follows:

MORE COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… Evan gives me a hard time about going to school but once we're out of the house he seems fine. He's only been to one party this year and it was for one of Sam's friends. Good luck with the party! I hope he has a good time smile emoticon
•    Anonymous said… Get an advocate........I volunteer as one where I live......schools give parents a rough time.....when they bring in someone who knows special ed law for the state......there's a whole different attitude......advocates are volunteers so there's no cost.......in an advocate and when my sons had meetings.....I took my own advocate..
•    Anonymous said… He actually does best with adults which is was one of the first red flags for his teacher. He for the most part is content to sit quietly by himself. His grades are excellent and he works ahead of most of his class. Anonymous said… I am another parent who eventually gave up on our public schools in 4th grade. We have a virtual charter school program, which is public, but all online at home. Now in 10th grade, headed to early college classes to finish high school. Brilliant techie! He will always be quirky, but not disabled in the way the schools tried to define him. Play to their strengths-- and always, always be on your child's side, you know them best
•    Anonymous said… I am reading some amazing books. A friend of mine also has me started with using essential oil blends, they do help. I just found a couple of these groups recently. But, knowing what I know now makes it a lot easier in communicating more effectively with him. I will definitely let you know if I find one locally.
•    Anonymous said… I am still all new to this thinking my son was only ADHD. I am awaiting confirmation from the doctor. But, everything I have read are characteristics of my sons behaviors. Still trying to find a support group.
•    Anonymous said… I am trying to find this puffy that you can make at home with Evan. I am going to try it tonight. It is supposed to be very good for sensory issues. But, it is something for everyone.
•    Anonymous said… I don't know how or what laws are in place in different states,but my son was in a charter school since kindergarten until the beginning of 4th grade I knew he had Aspergers very early but he didn't get fully diagnosed until last year .Then he finally received an IEP plan .The charter school wasn't equipped with people that were empathetic to my sons learning issues and it was too much of a lax environment.I moved to a different county and home schooled for a few months but he hated it,it wasn't structured enough for him.So his first time in public school was a few months ago and lucky he got into a school that deals with IEP's regularly so he loves school. You have to definitely advocate for your kid/s to get an IEP or 504 plan by law in CA the schools have to abide by it or find a school that will and provide transportation as well to and from the school willing to work with your child.It's a process but it's worth it in the end.It's ridiculous that there are teachers that treat kids like ours like they are bad or not willing to listen.SMH why teach? My son had an evil fourth grade teacher that would laugh at his nervous movements.I reported her but the charter school did nothing.Now his teacher is a straight gift from the teacher god's! Lol I just wish schools would be more empathetic towards our kids.
•    Anonymous said… I know exactly how you feel. No problem!
•    Anonymous said… I pulled my son out of public school. He was being bullied by the kids and the teachers. He is homeschooled now, and he loves it.
•    Anonymous said… It's been frustrating because we've been saying for 2 years that we thought Ev had Aspergers and no one would listen. His kindergarten teacher is AMAZING and she mentioned it to me after doing research on her own. She helped us get the ball rolling.
•    Anonymous said… I've been looking at psychologists for Ev to maybe get him help with socializing at school. That's where he has the most trouble
•    Anonymous said… Let me know how it turns out. I need to find stuff to keep them occupied next week. We're gonna take them to the Museum next week. They have a Lego exhibit and all 3 of them enjoy Legos
•    Anonymous said… My 10 year old sons school ( bardfield primary) didn't understand my sons needs and didn't want him there, wanted me to change he's school so took him out of school all together an home tutoring him now, best move I made
•    Anonymous said… oh dear my two boys have asd and i see its so common that some.of our kids dont manage to finish school frown emoticon xx
•    Anonymous said… Oh, I know... And the sooner it is caught the sooner intervention can start. Let me guess he gets along with kids either younger or older. But, just doesn't mesh with his peers. Easily frustrated switching tasks.
•    Anonymous said… Reading all these problems gob smack me .Its the same as our grandson .He told us that he lives in a different world to other people and if he could write it all down everything would be just fine .He likes one on one no interferance from any one .He wont go to school either and in NZ only one doctor who can access the mind of children with asperges and she has gone private .So the people who dont have the money get shoved at the back of the line.
•    Anonymous said… Same here we now home educated all four kids. My two boys with autism were 5 and 7 and I couldn't allow school to fail them further. I'd tried two schools with my 7 year old the first was appalling the second better but just not equipped to manage and I noticed they started to belittle them. I now have different boys they are so much happier. To be honest my 9 year old is much happier too and my youngest will never experience school. I wish I'd never but them in school.
•    Anonymous said… Sounds like Evan. Breaks my heart daily. I'll look them up. Thank you!
•    Anonymous said… They never understood mine? Don't believe me? Ask LISD from the 80s, 90s, and early 00s. Social Media had came back to haunt them in NTX area.
•    Anonymous said… Unfortunately the reason the schools are not recognising these conditions. Is that there is very little training for the teachers around this. Keep pushing the schools. I take information about Autism and Adhd and give it to the teacher's.
•    Anonymous said… Yep. Hopefully, you can get some things in place during the summer. The girls like my son but the boys tease him a lot. I am letting him go to a birthday party next Friday. I think he is excited because it is Jaks Warehouse.
•    Anonymous said… Yep. There is a new one at St. Margarets Dyer. Her name is Ashlyn and she is great!!! She is actually the only person that connected the dots for Riese. Just waiting for clinical diagnosis.

Post your comment below…

Learning to Parent a Child with a Diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder [Level 1]

“Our son now 6 went for assessment last Friday after a lot of form filling on his history etc. and doing tests with him, they - like me - have come to conclusion he has all the signs of a child with Autism (high functioning). Now that I finally have medical proof of what I have suspected for years, where do I go from here? How can I make his day easier? Basic tasks are major hurdles.”


When moms and dads seek help for their youngster, they encounter varied opinions – he'll outgrow it, leave him alone, it is no big deal, he just wants attention, and so on. Many professionals try to work with the high-functioning autistic youngster as if his disorder is like other disorders, but it is quite different. In most cases, there is a great misunderstanding by many people of the needs of these special individuals.

Diagnosis can be difficult. For the inexperienced, recognizing the defining characteristics of Autism can be difficult, and misdiagnoses are quite common. This is further complicated by the fact that an Autistic youngster or teen has many of the same characteristics found in other disorders. These various characteristics are often misinterpreted, overlooked, under-emphasized, or overemphasized. As a result, a youngster may receive many different diagnoses over time or from different professionals.

For example, if a youngster with Autism demonstrates a high degree of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) - that might be the only diagnosis he receives. However, this is a common characteristic of Autistic kids. The same holds true if obsessive or compulsive behaviors are displayed – the youngster gets labeled with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) instead of Autism.

The following traits are also commonly seen in those with Autism in varying degrees. However, just because these traits are there, it doesn't mean that the youngster should be diagnosed differently; these traits should be noted as significant features of ASD [level 1]:


•    Anxiety
•    Difficulty with pragmatic language skills
•    Hyperlexia (advanced word recognition skills)
•    Motor deficits
•    Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD)
•    Sensory difficulties
•    Social skills deficits

Professionals who do not have much experience with Autism have a hard time identifying the defining characteristics. For example, social skill deficits may be noted by a professional, but then they are often downplayed because the youngster or adolescent appears to be having appropriate conversations with others or seems to be interested in other people. But with an Autistic youngster, the conversations are not generally reciprocal, so the youngster must be carefully observed to see whether or not there is true back-and-forth interaction. Also, many Autistic kids have an interest in others, but you need to clarify if the objects of their interest are age appropriate. Do they interact with peers in an age-appropriate fashion? Can they maintain friendships over a period of time or do they end as the novelty wears off? These are the types of observations and questions that must be asked in order to ensure a proper diagnosis.

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Another example of an overlooked area is the narrow routines or rituals that are supposed to be present. This does not always manifest as obsessive-compulsive behavior in the typical sense, such as repeated hand washing or neatness, but rather in the insistence on the need for rules about many issues and situations. These kids may not throw tantrums over their need for rules, but may require them just as much as the person who has a meltdown when a rule is violated. In essence, there is no single profile of the typical Autistic individual. They are not all the same.

Because of these subtleties and nuances, the single most important consideration in diagnosis is that the person making the initial diagnosis be familiar with autistic spectrum disorders. They should have previously diagnosed numerous kids. To make a proper, initial diagnosis requires the following:

1. An evaluation by an occupational therapist familiar with sensory integration difficulties may provide additional and valuable information.

2. It is important to include a speech and language evaluation, as those with Autism will display impairments in the pragmatics and semantics of language, despite having adequate receptive and expressive language. This will also serve to make moms and dads aware of any unusual language patterns the youngster displays that will interfere in later social situations. Again, these oddities may not be recognized if the evaluator is not familiar with Autism.

3. The youngster should see a neurologist or developmental pediatrician (again, someone familiar with autistic spectrum disorders) for a thorough neurological exam to rule out other medical conditions and to assess the need for medication. The physician may suggest additional medical testing (blood, urine, fragile X, hearing).

4. You (both moms and dads) and your youngster should have sessions with a psychologist where your youngster is carefully observed to see how he responds in various situations. This is done through play or talk sessions in the psychologist's office and by discussions with both moms and dads. The psychologist may ask you to complete checklists or questionnaires to gain a better understanding of the youngster's behaviors at home and/or school. If the youngster is in school, the psychologist may call the youngster's teacher or ask her to complete additional checklists. The checklists or questionnaires used should be ones that are appropriate for individuals with Autism. It is important to determine the IQ level of your youngster as well. An average or above-average IQ is necessary for a diagnosis of Autism.

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

O.K. My youngster has been diagnosed with ASD – so now what?

Parenting kids displaying Autism characteristic behavior will often require an approach which is somewhat unique to that of other kids. Finding the balance between understanding the needs of a youngster with Autism and discipline which is age appropriate and situationally necessary is achievable when applying some simple but effective strategies. These strategies can be implemented both at home and in more public settings.

General Behavior Problems—

Traditional discipline may fail to produce the desired results for kids with Autism, primarily because they are unable to appreciate the consequences of their actions. Consequently, punitive measures are apt to exacerbate the type of behavior the punishment is intended to reduce, whilst at the same time giving rise to distress in both the youngster and parent.

At all times the emotional and physical well-being of your youngster should take priority. Often this will necessitate removing your youngster from a potentially distressing situation as soon as possible. Consider maintaining a diary of your youngster's behavior with a view to ascertaining patterns or triggers. Recurring behavior may be indicative of a youngster taking some satisfaction in receiving a desired response from peers, moms and dads or teachers.

For example, a youngster with Autism may come to understand that hurting another youngster in class will result in his being removed from class, notwithstanding the associated consequence to his peer. The solution may not be most effectively rooted in punishing the youngster for the behavior, or even attempting to explain the situation from the perspective of their injured peer, but by treating the root cause behind the motivation for the misbehavior...for example, can the youngster be made more comfortable in class so that they will not want to leave it?

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

One of the means to achieve this may be to focus on the positive. Praise for good behavior, and reinforcement by way of something like a Reward Book, can assist. The use of encouraging verbal cues delivered in a calm tone are likely to elicit more beneficial responses than the harsher verbal warnings which might be effective on kids who are not displaying some sort of Autistic characteristic. If necessary, when giving directions to cease a type of misbehavior, these should also be couched as positives rather than negatives. For example, rather than telling a youngster to stop hitting his brother with the ruler, the youngster should be directed to put the ruler down.

Obsessive or Fixated Behavior—

Almost all kids go through periods of development where they become engrossed in one subject matter or another, but kids with Autism often display obsessive and repetitive characteristics, which can have significant implications for behavior.

For example, if an Autistic youngster becomes fixated upon reading a particular story each night, theymay become distressed if this regime is not adhered to, or if the story is interrupted. Again, the use of a behavior diary can assist in identifying fixations for your youngster. Once a fixation is identified, it is important to set appropriate boundaries for your youngster. Providing a structure within which your youngster can explore the obsession can assist in then keeping the obsession within reasonable limits, without the associated angst which might otherwise arise through such limitations. For example, tell your youngster that they may watch their favorite cartoon for half an hour after dinner, and make clear time for that in their routine.

It is appropriate to utilize the obsession to motivate and reward your youngster for good behavior. Always ensure any reward associated with positive behavior is granted immediately to assist the youngster recognizing the nexus between the two.

A particularly useful technique to try to develop social reciprocity is to have your youngster talk for five minutes about a particularly favored topic after they have listened to you talk about an unrelated topic. This serves to help your youngster understand that not everyone shares their enthusiasm for their subject matter.

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Bridging the Gap Between ASD and Discipline and Other Siblings—

For siblings without the disorder, the differential and what at times no doubt appears to be preferential treatment received by an Autistic sibling can give rise to feelings of confusion and frustration. Often, they will fail to understand why their brother or sister apparently seems free to behave as they please without the normal constraints placed upon them.

It is important to explain to siblings or peers of Autistic kids and encourage open discussion about the disorder itself. Encouragement should extend to the things siblings can do to assist the Autism youngster, and this should be positively reinforced through acknowledgement when it occurs.

Sleep Difficulties—

Autistic kids are known to experience sleep problems. Kids on the spectrum may have lesser sleep requirements, and as such are more likely to become anxious about sleeping, or may find they become anxious when waking during the night or early in the morning.

Combat your youngster's anxiety by making their bedrooms a place of safety and comfort. Remove or store items which might be prone to injure your youngster if they decide to wander at night. Include in the behavioral diary a record of your youngster's sleep patterns. It may assist your youngster if you keep a list of their routine, including dinner, bath time, story and bed, in order to provide structure. Include an image or symbol of them waking in the morning to provide assurance as to what will happen. Social stories have proven to be a particularly successful tactic in decreasing a youngster's anxiety by providing clear instructions on how part of their day is likely to play out.

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

At School—


Another Autistic characteristic is that kids will often experience difficulty during parts of the school day which lack structure. If left to their own devices their difficulties with social interaction and self-management can result in anxiety. The use of a buddy system can assist in providing direction, as can the creation of a timetable for recess and lunch times. These should be raised with class teachers and implemented with their assistance.

Explain the concept of free time to your youngster, or consider providing a separate purpose or goal for your youngster during such time, such as reading a book, or helping to set up paint and brushes for the afternoon tasks.

In Public—

Kids with Autism can become overwhelmed to the point of distress by even a short sojourn in public. The result is that many moms and dads with Autism simply seek to avoid as much as possible situations where their youngster is exposed to the public. While expedient, it may not offer the best long-term solution to your youngster, and there are strategies to assist with outings.

Consider providing your youngster with an iPad, or have the radio on in the car to block out other sounds and stimuli. Prepare a social story or list explaining to the youngster a trip to the shops, or doctor. Be sure to include on the list your return home. Consider giving your youngster a task to complete during the trip, or having them assist you. At all times, maintaining consistency when dealing with Autism and discipline is key. It pays to ensure that others involved in your youngster's care are familiar with your strategies and techniques, such as those outlined above, and are able to apply them.

Most importantly, don't hesitate to seek support networks for other moms and dads, and take advantage of the wealth of knowledge those who have dealt with the disorder before you. The assistance you can gain from these and other resources can assist you in developing important strategies to deal with problems with ASD [level 1] in a manner most beneficial to your youngster.

 

More resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

Rituals and Obsessions in Children with ASD [Level 1]

Question

I work with a young boy with ASD, and we (the parents and I) are looking for ways to help the child with repetitive (perseverative) thoughts, i.e., he wants to know what his snack is for school. He will ask his mom, his mom will tell him, then he will ask again while getting dressed, then ask again while getting on the bus, then he screams from the bus window, "what’s for snack today?", then the school nurse will call and say he needs to talk to Mom or Dad because he needs to ask again.

Answer

You’re referring to obsessive thoughts. Rituals and obsessions are one of the hallmarks of ASD [High-Functioning Autism]. In order to cope with the anxieties and stresses about the chaotic world around them, kids often obsess and ritualize their behaviors to comfort themselves. 
 
While some kids may spend their time intensely studying one area, others may be compulsive about cleaning, lining up items, or even doing things which put them or others in danger.
 

How to deal with an ASD child's obsessions:

1. Be prepared for resistance by arming yourself with suggestions and alternatives to your youngster's behavior. A great way of doing this is by creating a "social story". Carol Gray's Social Stories site is a great resource for parents and educators alike to create books which will modify behavior in kids with autistic spectrum disorders.

2. Choose your battles wisely. Breaking an obsession or ritual is like running a war campaign. If not planned wisely or if you attempt to fight on many fronts, you're guaranteed to fail. Not only is it time consuming and tiring, it means you can't devote 100% to each particular area. 
 
So, if you have a youngster with a game obsession, a phobia of baths and bedtime troubles, choose only one to deal with. Personally, and I have had that choice, I dealt with the bedtime troubles. Using logic, a sleep deprived youngster certainly isn't going to deal with behavioral modification in other areas well. Plus, it was having an effect on his overall health. Deal with the worst first!
 

3. Communicate with your youngster to explain the effect that his or her ritual is having on your family as a whole. My son's 2am wake-up calls were affecting me mentally, emotionally and physically, and I told him so. I pulled some research off the internet about sleep needs and discussed this with him.

4. Speak to professionals for advice. Contact your pediatrician for recommendations for behavior therapists. Your local parent support groups and national associations, such as the National Autistic Society, will not only provide you support but the information you need to move forward with your youngster.

5. When breaking an obsession or ritual, examine the ways that you may have fed into this. With my son's bedtime activities, I found I was too tired to fight his waking up at 2am. While dealing with this ritual, I ensured I was in bed early myself so I had enough sleep in me to knock his night owl tendencies on the head.

6. When tackling any problem with any youngster, ASD or not, it's always best to remain calm at all times. Kids can feed off your anger, frustration and anxiety, so keeping a level head at all times is essential. If you feel a situation is escalating and elevating your blood pressure, take a step back and collect yourself.

 
More resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

 

COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… Can anyone advise when a child is fixated on a place eg the park, they will ask from the min they wake all day long. This is usually only resolved by going to the park or trying to reason that another day/time would be better. Tia.
•    Anonymous said… Can he take/pack his own snack and bring it in? He would have more control and might help him feel less anxious..?
•    Anonymous said… Draw a pic of snack
•    Anonymous said… I think this sounds like ADHD. He is not holding onto the information long enough to understand its meaning. I say don't make more work for yourself or the parents. Allow him to choose his snacks at the grocery store and pack them himself every morning.
•    Anonymous said… It's his routine,comfort, his way of processing that he is on way to school and maybe not very able to cope with that.
My son will say every night 'are you coming in afterwards'.
He knows I will come in as soon as I've read my younger daughter he story. And I tell him. But he has to ask. It's just what he does. Much to everyone's annoyance...that's his routine. Maybe it's because he needs me to say it to settle in his bed? Maybe he is checking? Maybe it's his comfort?
But, he asks every night and that's that!
•    Anonymous said… My son gets stuck on getting things he wants ie video games . He will basically badger us over and over about the thing he wants. When he earns it he will move onto something else he wants. I am not sure if this is bipolar mixed with Aspergers?
•    Anonymous said… Some good ideas here. You could also try giving limits to when he can ask and then reducing the number to once. So he can ask 3 times before school and no more. Then reduce to twice then once. All with the rule clearly stated and warning of it reducing. I found limiting things very effective. It may be the asking that is the obsession rather than the snack itself. Good luck.
•    Anonymous said… Take a picture and print it off
•    Anonymous said… Take a picture of his snack with his cell phone or tablet. Of he doesn't have one, plan ahead, take a picture of it, print it and let him put it in his pocket or put it in a lanyard with his lunch card. That way he can look at it for the answer.
•    Anonymous said… This is when I worry a child will be misdiagnosed with OCD. He can't process his snack for some reason, it's not obsession. The ideas above to help him process are great ideas.
•    Anonymous said… Try writing it on sticky notes and post them in the places he usually asks, his bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen. Also give him a note for his pocket too. I had to do this for my son and when he would ask, I would just point to the note. He got to the point where he would look for the note instead of asking. I also like the picture idea. My son was/is very visual. He remembers better if he can see the actual item. Hope this helps.
•    Anonymous said… We also take pics of things she needs to part with so she can look at them anytime (iPad) no clutter!
•    Anonymous said… We went thru this in second grade and started using a see through bag so he could learn to how to find the answer in his own. Worked like a charm. Keep laughing it helps
•    Anonymous said… Write it down for him and stick it in his pocket.Beware and prepare him that it could change if they are out of said snack.I get around the time thing like that.Ex.....I plan to be there at 12:00 but it could be 12:ish......ish is my favorite thing to add because it builds flexibility.

Post your comment below…

Articles in Alphabetical Order: 2019


Articles in Alphabetical Order: 2019

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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My Aspergers Child - Syndicated Content