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Our Top 10 Picks for Teaching Children on the Spectrum About Emotions

Social-emotional learning is a key component in educating younger kids with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's. Help your child learn how to recognize, manage, and express his or her feelings.






















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Students on the Autism Spectrum: Classroom Solutions for Teachers to Employ

It’s important to educate students with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS) in a way that addresses their individual differences and needs (no two of these “special needs” children are alike). Preferably, the educational process involves the individually-planned and systematically-monitored arrangement of teaching methods, adapted equipment and materials, and accessible settings.

Protection from Bullies—

Most kids with HFA and AS are very bright, and may even excel academically in one or more subjects. However, they often need protection from other students who bully or take advantage of them. Kids on the autism spectrum may not know which students to avoid (e.g., if an HFA youngster makes a friend, that "friend" may make him do assignments for him, break rules, take the blame, and otherwise put the HFA youngster in jeopardy).

Training in Social and Emotional Competency—

Young people on the autism spectrum usually don’t understand the "hidden rules" of school, but take all rules at face value. For example, they may memorize the rule (e.g., "don't cuss at school”), yet don't realize that most students cuss, but you don't use cuss words in front of school staff.

These “special needs” kids also don’t understand "hidden social agendas." If an HFA or AS child participates on a high school debate team that meets in a sandwich shop, he comes prepared like a little professor to talk about the subject at hand, but doesn’t understand that the other students are there to socialize as well as practice for the team.

For this reason, kids on the spectrum require individualized training in social and emotional competency. There are many promising teaching techniques that can be used. On the elementary school level, some educators are using "social stories" with special cartoons illustrated with "emo faces" to help HFA and AS kids recognize facial expressions. Acting classes also help these children better understand emotional reactions.
 

Special Education versus Mainstream Classroom—

Special ed classrooms usually have a small number of kids with a variety of special needs. The teacher may have extra training in special education and receive help from one or more aides. Therefore, the big advantage of a special ed classroom is extra individual attention. However, there are several disadvantages to these classrooms as well:
  • Academics may be "watered down" in a special ed situation.
  • Kids on the spectrum don’t do well with emotionally disturbed kids who are often streetwise and aggressive. If these two groups are together in the classroom, there is the risk of producing a combination of the perfect victim and perfect victimizer.
  • Kids with HFA and AS often gain more knowledge about social interactions and how the "normal" world operates in a mainstream classroom.

Sometimes a youngster on the autism spectrum may start out in a special ed classroom and gradually transition to a mainstream one. This usually has to be done slowly, and takes an average of two months to two years. It may begin with just a half-hour at a time in the regular classroom for elementary school students, and perhaps an hour at a time in the student's strongest subject on the high school level. Some experts recommend seating the HFA or AS child next to a successful student who can help him or her with organization and provide class notes, when necessary.

Predictability and Structure—

In general, HFA and AS students do better in classrooms that are predictable and structured with as few transitions as possible. Teaching with an emphasis on visual presentation plays to the child's strength of visual acuity. During "unstructured" periods (e.g., lunch, physical education, recess, and passing to classes), the “special needs” child may need certain accommodations.

Special accommodations that teachers should employ:
  • model “staying calm” in the face of conflict
  • be a sensitive person so that if the HFA or AS child rages at school, he does not experience complete humiliation in front of his classmates
  • develop a special "cue" (e.g., tapping the youngster's shoulder) to help him pay attention when his mind is wandering
  • help with transitions
  • learn how to deal with "meltdowns" (e.g., intervene in the "rumbling" or beginning stage)
  • understand that after a meltdown, the youngster may be exhausted, or deny that it happened
  • let the youngster know in advance when he will have to recite in front of the class, or have a quiz/test
  • use drama to help the youngster understand other people's emotions

These interventions are designed to help students on the autism spectrum achieve a higher level of personal self-reliance and achievement in school, which may not happen if they were not given the classroom solutions listed above.


==> Teaching Students with Aspergers and HFA
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Helping Kids on the Autism Spectrum to Develop Their Own “Emotional Toolbox”


Perhaps one of the best techniques we as parents of kids with ASD level 1, or High-Functioning Autism, can employ is the creation of an “emotional toolbox” designed to help the child to “repair” his or her feelings.

Most kids know that a toolbox usually includes a variety of tools to repair a machine, for example. So, parents can begin discussion and activities that are used to identify different types of “tools” for specific problems associated with feelings.

For example:
  • One type of “emotional repair tool” can be a paintbrush, which can be used to represent relaxation tools that lower the heart rate (e.g., drawing, reading, listening to calming music, etc.).
  • A picture of a manual can be used to represent thinking tools that are designed to improve cognitive processes (e.g., phrases that encourage reflection before reaction). James, a young man with ASD, developed his “antidote to toxic thoughts” through the use of this tool. He developed a “stop and think first” technique whenever he was upset and about to lash-out at someone.
  • A two-handle saw can be used to represent social activities or people who can help repair feelings (e.g., communication with someone who is known to be sympathetic and able to alleviate negative feelings). This can be by spoken word or typed communication, enabling the child to gain a new perspective on the problem and providing some practical advice. 
  • Another type of emotional repair tool can be represented by a hammer, which signifies physical “tools” for calming down (e.g., going for a walk, bouncing on a trampoline, crushing empty cans for recycling, etc.). The goal here is to repair emotions constructively by a safe physical act that increases the heart rate. One child with Asperger’s explained how running around the yard “takes the fight out of me.”

The idea is to provide a “repair statement” (i.e., self-talk) for the autistic child that counteracts his or her negative thoughts. For instance, “I can't deal with this (a toxic or negative thought), but I can do this with mom’s help (positive thought or antidote).” 
 

The child can also be taught that becoming overly-emotional often inhibits his or her intellectual abilities in a particular situation that requires good problem-solving skills. The self-talk here might be, “When I’m angry and frustrated, I need to cool down so I can think about how to solve this problem.”

The concept of a toolbox can be extremely helpful in enabling the youngster with ASD not only to repair her own feelings, but also to repair the feelings of others. Kids on the spectrum often benefit from instruction in learning what tools to use to help friends and family - and which tools others use - so that they may borrow tools to add to their own emotional repair kit.

Humor and imagination can be used as “thinking tools.” Contrary to popular myths, young people on the spectrum greatly benefit from laughter, can enjoy jokes typical of their developmental level, and can be very creative with puns and jokes.

Parents should also have a discussion of “inappropriate tools” (e.g., one would not use a hammer to fix a wrist watch) to explain how some actions (e.g., violence) are not appropriate emotional repair mechanisms. For instance, one child with Asperger’s would slap himself to stop negative thoughts and feelings, which only had a very temporary effect and did not solve the problem.

Another tool that could become inappropriate is for the child to repeatedly retreat into his fantasy world (e.g., imagining he is a superhero), or to plan retaliation. The use of escape into fantasy literature and games can be a typical tool for ordinary children. But for kids on the autism spectrum, escape is of concern when it becomes the exclusive coping mechanism (e.g., the fine line between fantasy and reality may be unclear to the child).
 

Another concern is when daydreams of retaliation to teasing/bullying are expressed in drawings, writing, and threats. Although this may be a typical means of emotional expression, there is a concern that the expression is misinterpreted as an intention to carry out the fantasy – or may be a precursor to retaliation using weapons.

Talking to pets as a “social tool” in preference to talking to friends or developing relationships with people is another inappropriate tool in some cases.

“Unusual tools” should also be discussed. For instance, one teenage girl with Asperger’s explained that, “Crying doesn't work for me, so I get mad.” In this case, tears were a rare response to feeling sad, with a more common response to sadness being anger, which caused others to misinterpret her behavior.

Another unusual tool is that of being quick at resolving grief and serious tragedies (e.g., death of a loved one). This trait can be of concern to the child’s parents, who expect the classic signs of prolonged and intense grieving. Parents may view the child as uncaring, yet the rapid recovery is simply a characteristic of the disorder.

Developing an emotional toolbox to “fix” feelings is a way to improve a child’s self-esteem, train her to be able to relate to others effectively, and help her develop a sense of how she learns best in the area of social skills and emotional control.

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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By

Anxiety-Management: Tips for Parents of Children on the Autism Spectrum

Young people with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s are prone to greater anxiety in their daily lives than their “typical” peers. 

Social interaction, especially with more than one person, inevitably increases anxiety to a point where the child’s coping mechanisms may deteriorate.

Situations in which he or she has to identify, translate, and respond to social and emotional cues – and cope with unexpected noise levels – often result in a meltdown. 

Parents can – and should – teach their “special needs” child traditional relaxation methods using activities to encourage muscle relaxation and breathing exercises as a counter-conditioning technique. But, parents must also consider the circumstances in which their child is particularly prone to anxiety.

Environmental modification can significantly reduce anxiety in kids on the autism spectrum (e.g., having a safe area for periods of solitude to relax or concentrate on schoolwork, minimizing distractions, reducing noise levels, etc.). If the parent recognizes that a particular event is a major cause of anxiety, then it would be helpful to consider whether the source could be avoided (e.g., recommending the temporary suspension of homework).

At school, one option for the HFA youngster who becomes anxious on the playground is to be able to withdraw to the school library, or for the child who is stressed about socializing during the lunch break, to complete a crossword puzzle in a quiet area.

Another source of anxiety for kids on the spectrum is unexpected changes. Thus, they often need advance preparation and time to adjust to the new task or activity.

Cue-controlled relaxation is another useful part of an anxiety-management plan. One strategy is for the child to have an object in his or her pocket that symbolizes (or has been classically conditioned to) elicit feelings of relaxation.

For instance, one girl with HFA was a passionate reader of fiction, her favorite book being The Secret Garden. She kept a key in her pocket to symbolically open the door to the secret garden, a make-believe place where she felt calm and joyful. A couple minutes touching or looking at the key helped her to visualize a scene mentioned in the book and to calm down and reach a more confident state of mind.

Another example was a boy on the autism spectrum who had a special picture in his backpack of a beach scene, which reminded him of the time his family vacationed in Florida and he collected seashells found in the sand. He viewed the picture frequently whenever he was in the throes of a stressful event.




 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
By

Attribution Retraining: Helping Kids on the Spectrum to "Check the Evidence" Before Reacting

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One common effect of misinterpretation for children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) is the development of distrust in others (perhaps even mild paranoia). This is largely due to impaired Theory of Mind skills in the cognitive profile of these young people.

A “theory of mind” is the ability that we all have in order to make sense of the world we live in. Every person’s thoughts, knowledge, beliefs and desires make up his or her own unique theory of mind. Kids on the autism spectrum have some difficulties conceptualizing and appreciating the thoughts and feelings of others. It’s this “mind-blindness” that makes it difficult for these young people to be able to relate to - and understand - the behaviors of others. By failing to account for other’s perspectives, kids on the autism spectrum tend to misinterpret their messages.
 
==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Mind-blindness also means the HFA child has difficulty in distinguishing whether someone's actions are intentional or accidental. “Typical” (i.e., non-autistic) kids will know from the context, body language, and character of the other person involved that the intent was not to cause distress or injury. But, children on the autism spectrum often focus primarily on the act and the consequences (e.g., “He bumped into me and it hurt, so it was intentional”), whereas most typical children would consider the circumstances (e.g., “He was running, tripped, and accidentally fell into me”).

With HFA children, there may need to be training in checking the evidence before over-reacting to the event and/or person in question. This training is called “attribution retraining.” The “mind-blind” youngster often blames others exclusively and tends not to consider his or her own contribution – or conversely, the youngster can excessively blame him/herself for events.

One aspect of HFA is a tendency for some children to adopt an attitude of arrogance where the perceived focus-of-control is external. When the “special needs” child believes he was the victim of some form of injustice, the “perpetrator” may be held responsible and become the target for retribution or punishment.

Kids on the spectrum have considerable difficulty accepting that they themselves have contributed to the event. However, the opposite can occur when the child has extremely low self-esteem and feels personally responsible, which results in feelings of anxiety and guilt.

In addition, kids on the spectrum often have a strong sense of what is right and wrong – and may exhibit a striking reaction if others violate the social “laws.” The youngster may be notorious as the class “policeman,” dispensing justice but not realizing what is within his or her authority.

Attribution retraining involves establishing the reality of the situation, the various participants' contributions to an incident, and determining how the HFA or AS child can change his/her perception and response.
 
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

A part of social-skills training for your HFA child will revolve around how he “attributes” his success, and will likely require some attribution retraining to take place.  This is when you retrain your child to think about his success as something he actively influences, not something of which he is a victim. 

There are 4 main factors to which we can attribute success or failure: effort, ability, luck, and task difficulty:
  • A child attributing “effort” may say, “I worked hard/was lazy, that’s why I did so good/didn’t accomplish my goal.”
  • A child attributing “ability” may say, “I’m so intelligent/stupid, this is why I succeeded/failed.”  
  • A child attributing “luck” may say, “I was/wasn’t wearing my lucky shirt today, which is why I won/lost the game.”  
  • A child attributing “task difficulty” may say, “The test was so easy/hard, that’s why I passed/failed.”

Children don’t have any control over luck or task difficulty, and ability is gained through gaining knowledge and skills. Thus, the only aspect that children can directly influence on a regular basis is their effort.  This is where attribution retraining takes place. 

When a child attributes her success or failure to something outside her effort, it’s the parents’ opportunity to redirect her (i.e., attribution retraining).  The child who adopts an effort-based belief gains an “internal locus of control” (i.e., believes she is in control of circumstances) and subsequently feels empowered.  The child comes to believe that she has enough ability that – with effort – she can be successful.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
----------
 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
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