Manipulative Behavior in Children with ASD [level 1]

All folks manipulate others in some way. While this may seem like a character flaw, individuals use manipulation because it works. In fact, moms and dads and educators use manipulation to change behaviors in kids on a daily basis.

Manipulative behaviors can be a positive sign that the youngster is learning how to navigate the social world. At the same time, in some cases, manipulation is misunderstood or confused with frustration. Is a youngster with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) screaming because he is in pain, or because he wants to do something? Misunderstanding manipulation and frustrations is easy to do with this disorder.

Manipulation is sometimes used by the youngster to get what he wants or needs. Every instance of manipulation leads to an underlying legitimate request by the youngster. Yet, it is important to see that manipulation can also lead to behavior that is aggressive or otherwise extreme.

Various forms of manipulation can be seen in Aspergers and HFA kids as follows:

• Confusion Promotion: To manipulate the mother or father, the youngster brings up topics that are related, but not important for the discussion. In this form of manipulation, the goal is to confuse the mother or father to get what they want in a roundabout manner. Moms and dads often learn to ask direct questions to reduce the confusion level and not to give in to frustration over being confused.

• Playing Individuals against Each Other: Aspergers and HFA kids are very smart and this leads to more complex forms of manipulation, such as playing individuals against each other. This situation may result in confusion and frustration. The youngster may end up with what they want simply because of the lack of understanding in the group. This type of situation often happens between siblings or within a group home setting.

• Temper Tantrums: The standard temper tantrum is an example of a type of manipulation found in kids on the autism spectrum. In this situation, the youngster makes a request calmly. It may be unreasonable. When the youngster does not get his way, he may meet this negative response with yelling, destroying things, banging, stomping and even rolling on the floor. Moms and dads who are struggling with kids using temper tantrums learn to ignore them completely, except where the youngster may be injured.

Moms and dads end up frustrated when it comes to being manipulated by their children. You may be unsure of how to stop the poor behavior and get back to having a truthful and open relationship. Solutions often require patience and the ability to see what the underlying, unmet need is.

Here are some suggestions:

• Create an open environment as much as possible. Encourage your youngster to state what they want as directly as possible. Some Aspergers and HFA kids may not be able to communicate effectively.

• Disengage from the behavior occurring, but not the individual. If you feel powerless or unable to manage the situation, direct the individual to someone else.

• In manipulation, moms and dads and teachers may end up feeling powerless. In this situation, overcompensation may occur. A mother or father may become more controlling, for example, which pushes the manipulation farther. When you spot that powerless feeling, stop and assess the underlying circumstances first.

• Remember that the need is not the problem. The problem is the bad behavior and that should be the issue dealt with by the mother or father.

• Simply detach from the power struggle. Stop the process. If it continues, the manipulation will worsen, effectively causing the mother or father to become more controlling. This ends up leading to punishment.

For moms and dads in intense situations where manipulation is occurring readily, it may be helpful to find an support group, either online or locally. Meet with the group and learn strategies for tackling your youngster's particular needs. Some autism experts can also offer information and guidance on handling specific situations.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD

Understanding Your Aspergers or HFA Child

If your situation is like most parents’ situation, your Aspergers or High-Functioning Autistic (HFA) child’s behavior seems a bit odd at times. Here are a few tips to help you understand what’s going on with him or her:

1. Despite what has been widely written on, kids with Aspergers and HFA do have empathy for others. In fact, more often than not, they are rich with empathy – not devoid of it. More modern literature is starting to reflect this more accurate position. The difference is that the response is different in them.

Kids on the autism spectrum are often very lonely and can become depressed as a result of feeling out of place in the world. Reaching out to a youngster on the spectrum may open more questions for you than provide answers, but a greater effort is likely to yield a greater reward in the long run.

2. If your Aspergers or HFA youngster says ''I need help with ___'', that is what he needs help with, even if it doesn't seem possible. The other side of the coin is if the youngster says ''I am capable of ___'', it is a good idea to trust that.

3. Many kids on the spectrum are very intelligent and may have extraordinary skills that you may or may not understand, but at the same time, your youngster may lack what will seem to you to be common sense.

4. You and your "special needs" youngster do not experience life the same way, so their obstacles, interests, complaints, frustrations are likely to seem illogical to you and to those around you. There are many issues that contribute to the way they view the world around them. There are communication issues, stigma, sensory, 'stereotypical interests', unique responses to social issues, stressors, and additional things than you may be able to imagine.

If you look at it as if they are dodging paint balls all day long every day, paint balls which are invisible to you, it may make a little more sense that they move the way they do, talk the way they do, and make the decisions the way they do.

5. You and your Aspergers or HFA youngster do not think alike. This means that you are likely to misunderstand each other. Knowing this will enable you to do three things:

• When family members, co-workers, friends seem to be having a ''group opinion'' in the negative, you have the insight to be able to say, ''It may appear to be that way, but I think it's a big misunderstanding''.
• When he says or does something that seems hurtful, you can trust that it may not have been intended the way you thought, even if it seems very clear to you.
• When you say or do something that your youngster takes offense to, you can trust that he is misunderstanding you honestly and not trying to be critical.

For moms and dads with children on the autism spectrum, consider this: Maybe it's not only about your youngster's understanding of the world, maybe it's the world's understanding of your youngster.

Aspergers is a neurological disorder, and is one of five diagnoses that comprise what's called “the autism spectrum.” The “autism” label has carried some serious baggage. So much so that in the 1960s there was born a movement of “anti-labelism” where kids were no longer stamped with a diagnosis, and instead their condition was referred to only as “special.”

This trend swung too far in the other direction though. Now it's time to embrace terms like “Aspergers” and “Autism,” so that those with the disorder can begin dealing with exactly what it is that makes them different—both the negatives and the positives.

What can moms and dads with Aspergers and HFA children do to handle stress? Here are some ideas:

1. Joining a support group can be a great way for families to relieve stress. When someone tells you “I understand …I've been there” – nothing feels better at that moment.

2. Make sure you're taken care of. There's a good reason that the airline stewardess instructs passengers to put the oxygen mask on themselves first before assisting their kids. If you can't be there in a healthy, operating way, you're not much good to your youngster.

3. One of the biggest challenges for children with Aspergers and HFA is an ability to shrug off life's failures. But, moms and dads can help their kids to process failure better. Praise, and praise, and praise for trying. Very often moms and dads say, “This is a special youngster, and I want to shield him from failure.” It's a good thought, but it's not the final resting ground. The final resting ground is independence and bravery.

4. Read up on the history of the disorder to find out how the view of it has developed over the years. Depending on the challenges of their particular youngster, moms and dads will feel some sense of pressure to change that youngster—maybe due to an outburst in the supermarket or an awkward conversation with the neighbors. We can all forgive ourselves when want to secede to societal pressure. What's important is this: loving your youngster for who he is.


==> My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns in Aspergers Children


Anonymous said... Our daughter has been diagnosed for 9 years now and it still helps to read these post! Thanks.Love the support.

Anonymous said... My husband has aspergers and im going through so much stress. I didnt know he had it when we was frist got married. He never knew too. One thing that haed to do everything. It hard when he doesnt understand what he says to me and sometimes he doesnt even remember he even said what he said that hurt me. Im trying to get him into therapy. But he doesnt what to. He need to learn how to communicate with me right and kknow what to do as a husband rule 

The Potential Genius of Aspergers

A famous psychiatrist, Michael Fitzgerald (from Trinity College, Dublin) has claimed that many geniuses in the fields of science, politics and the arts have achieved success because they had Aspergers. He states that many geniuses showed Aspergers traits (e.g., Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, George Orwell, and H. G. Wells). Fitzgerald argues that the gene linked to Aspergers is the same as those associated with creativity and genius. He compared the characteristics of 1600 Aspergers individuals to some geniuses and found they have many traits in common. Thus, it can be said that some psychiatric disorders may have positive dimensions.

Aspergers individuals can be so successful mainly because they are more focused and persistent, they do not get distracted, and they are not interested in outside society as much as the “average” individual. Many grown-ups with Aspergers have the ability to function effectively in mainstream jobs and live independent lives. Additionally, people with Aspergers may make wonderful intellectual contributions to society in general. Studies suggest an association with achievements in art, music, engineering, computer science, mathematics, physics, and many more.

The deficits related to Aspergers may be debilitating, however, many people experience positive accomplishments, particularly those who are able to succeed in areas less dependent on social interaction, such as mathematics, music and the sciences It is suggested that Aspergers may be an important factor in many valuable contributions to fields and areas that benefit most from the type of thinking and attention to detail that only people with Aspergers can provide.

Aspergers is oftentimes seen as a disorder with both positives and negatives, and several well known grown-ups with Aspergers have achieved success within their career fields. There are several extremely well-known, very successful people who either had, or are believed to have had, Aspergers.

Bill Gates, the Microsoft computer billionaire is supposed to have Aspergers. Some other notable Aspergers-diagnosed people include Nobel Prize-winning economist Vernon Smith, electro pop rocker Gary Numan, and Satoshi Tajiri, the creator of the Pokémon franchise. Colorado State University professor and author Temple Grandin was diagnosed with autism at a young age, and has used her autism to her advantage in her profession as an animal behaviorist specializing in livestock handling.

Some Aspergers investigators hypothesize that well-known figures, such as Thomas Jefferson, Jeremy Bentham, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Glenn Gould and Ludwig Wittgenstein had Aspergers because they showed some Aspergers-related tendencies or behaviors, such as intense interest in one subject, and/or social problems. These unconfirmed diagnoses, especially posthumous ones, remain controversial, as they work only from biographical information and sometimes ignore documented evidence that would indicate against Aspergers syndrome. Nonetheless it may be argued that it would be a loss to society if Aspergers were cured, as many of these “special” people clearly make a significant contribution to society and their skills are highly prized in many specialist fields.

Lots of people with Aspergers genuinely possess a unique gift and a chance to apply their unique talents to make a genuine contribution to the future, with examples drawn from both the present and further back in time. Additionally, it provides an insight into the kinds of work and careers that may make the best use of their abilities and skills.

The majority of the well-known individuals in the list below are thought to have Aspergers, and several are confirmed cases of Aspergers:

• Abraham Lincoln,1809-1865, US Politician

• Adolf Hitler, 1889-1945 German politician, dictator

• Al Gore, 1948-, former US Vice President and presidential candidate

• Alan Turing, 1912-1954, English mathematician, computer scientist and cryptographer

• Albert Einstein, 1879-1955, German/American theoretical physicist who provided the theory of relativity and was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics for the work he did with photoelectric effect

• Alexander Graham Bell, 1847-1922, Scottish/Canadian/American inventor of the telephone

• Alexander the Great

• Alfred Hitchcock, 1899-1980, English/American film director

• Andrew Jackson

• Andy Kaufman, 1949-1984, US comedian, subject of the film Man on the Moon

• Andy Warhol, 1928-1987, US artist

• Anton Bruckner , 1824-1896, Austrian composer

• Béla Bartók, 1881-1945, Hungarian composer

• Benjamin Franklin, 1706-1790, US polictician/writer and was considered to be one of the most important of the founding fathers of our country

• Bertrand Russell, 1872-1970, British logician

• Bill Gates, 1955-, US global monopolist

• Bob Dylan, 1941-, US singer-songwriter

• Bobby Fischer, 1943-2008, World Chess Champion

• Carl Jung, 1875-1961, Swiss psychoanalyst

• Catherine the Great

• Charles Dickinson, 1951, US Writer

• Charles Rennie Mackintosh, 1868-1928, Scottish architect and designer

• Charles Schulz, 1922-2000, US cartoonist and creator of Peanuts and Charlie Brown

• Cleopatra

• Crispin Glover, 1964-, US actor

• David Helfgott, 1947-, Australian pianist, subject of the film Shine

• Elvis Presley, 1935-1977, US musician

• Emily Dickinson, 1830-1886, US poet

• Erik Satie, 1866-1925 - Composer

• Franz Kafka, 1883-1924, Czech writer

• Friedrich Nietzsche, 1844-1900, German philosopher

• Garrison Keillor, 1942-, US writer, humorist and host of Prairie Home Companion

• Genie, 1957-?, US "wild child"

• George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950, Irish playwright, writer of Pygmalion, critic and Socialist

• George Washington, 1732-1799, US Politician, the first president of the United States of America

• Glenn Gould, 1932-1982, Canadian pianist

• Gustav Mahler, 1860-1911, Czech/Austrian composer

• H P Lovecraft, 1890-1937, US writer

• Hans Asperger, 1906-1980, Austrian paediatric doctor after whom Asperger's Syndrome is named

• Harry Truman

• Henry Cavendish, 1731-1810, English/French scientist, discovered the composition of air and water

• Henry Ford, 1863-1947, US industrialist

• Henry Thoreau, 1817-1862, US writer

• Howard Hughes, 1905-1976, US billionaire

• Isaac Asimov, 1920-1992, Russian/US writer on science and of science fiction, author of Bicentennial Man

• Isaac Newton, 1642-1727, English mathematician and physicist

• James Garfield

• James Taylor, 1948-, US singer/songwriter

• Jane Austen, 1775-1817, English novelist, author of Pride and Prejudice

• Jeff Greenfield, 1943-, US political analyst/speechwriter, a political wonk

• Jim Henson, 1936-1990, creator of the Muppets, US puppeteer, writer, producer, director, composer

• John Denver, 1943-1997, US musician

• John Motson, 1945-, English sports commentator

• John Nash, 1928-, US mathematician (portrayed by Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind, USA 2001)

• John Quincy Adams, also a president of the country, owned and kept a pet alligator in the East Room of the White House

• Joseph Erber, 1985-, young English composer/musician who has Asperger's Syndrome, subject of a BBC TV documentary

• Kaspar Hauser, c1812-1833, German foundling, portrayed in a film by Werner Herzog

• Keanu Reeves, 1964-, Lebanese/Canadian/US actor

• Keith Olbermann, 1959-, US sportscaster

• Kevin Mitnick, 1963-, US "hacker"

• L S Lowry, 1887-1976, English painter of "matchstick men"

• Leonardo da Vinci, 1452-1519, Italian Painter,Scientist

• Louis IV

• Ludwig II, 1845-1886, King of Bavaria

• Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827, German/Viennese composer

• Ludwig Wittgenstein, 1889-1951, Viennese/English logician and philosopher

• Marilyn Monroe, 1926-1962, US actress

• Mark Twain, 1835-1910, US humorist

• Michael Jackson, 1958-2009, US singer

• Michael Palin, 1943-, English comedian and presenter

• Michelangelo, 1475 1564 - Italian Renissance artist

• Napoleon Bonaparte

• Nikola Tesla, 1856-1943, Serbian/American scientist, engineer, inventor of electric motors

• Oliver Heaviside, 1850-1925, English physicist

• Oliver Sacks, 1933-, UK/US neurologist, author of The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and Awakenings

• Paul Allen - Another Microsoft "geek", the owner of the Seattle Seahawks & Portland Trailblazers, and the second richest man in the world

• Paul Kostabi 1962-, writer, comedian, artist, producer, technician

• Peter the Great

• Pip Brown "Ladyhawke", 1979-, New Zealand Singer/Songwriter, Musician

• Richard Strauss, 1864-1949, German composer

• Robin Williams, 1951-, US Actor

• Satoshi Tajiri, the creator of Pokémon

• Seth Engstrom, 1987-, Magician and World Champion in Sleight of Hand

• Shakespeare

• Socrates

• Steven Spielberg

• Teddy Roosevelt

• Temple Grandin - She is a designer of humane food animal handling systems, and has been one of the pioneers in Autism and Asperger Awareness

• Thomas Edison, 1847-1931, US inventor

• Thomas Jefferson, 1743-1826, US politician

• Tom Hanks

• Tony Benn, 1925-, English Labour politician

• Vincent Van Gogh, 1853-1890, Dutch painter

• Virginia Woolf, 1882-1941, English Writer

• Wasily Kandinsky, 1866-1944, Russian/French painter

• Wilhem II

• William Taft

• Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, 1756-1791, Austrian composer

• Woody Allen, 1935-, US comedian, actor, writer, director, producer, jazz clarinetist

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Aspergers and Comorbid Bipolar

Pediatric bipolar Disorder and Aspergers (high functioning autism) are extremely similar in the manner they're treated because their symptoms are similar. But exactly what are these two disorders and how are they related?

Because the symptoms of Aspergers and bipolar disorder can be very similar, it is common for individuals to be clinically determined to have one or the other when they really have both. It is not unusual for the two disorders to occur together, but having comorbid disorders presents even more difficulties in treating and coping with the conditions.

Pediatric bipolar disorder, or better known as manic depression, is an illness that may present as a mood swings or mood cycling. Clients who are suffering from pediatric type one are apt to have episodes of mania with alternating with episodes of melancholy. Clients with pediatric type two experience the thralls of depression with alternating episodes of mania.

Aspergers is linked to autism and is reported to be a mild form of the condition. It's actually a form of pervasive development disorder that triggers development issues particularly where the areas of communication and interpersonal development are concerned.

What are the signs of depression and mania in Bipolar Disorder?

Depression signs consist of: anger, extreme sadness, sleeping too much and feelings of worthlessness. Mania signs are: rage, extreme happiness, increased energy, hyperactivity, distractibility, sleeping too little and obsessive behaviors.

The disorder is brought on by four different factors. They are: neurological, biological, emotional and environmental. Yet not all of these factors can be found in every single case. Since little is recognized about the disorder, advances are still being made in this part.

Bipolar disorder is characterized by strong variations in mood, between intense highs (mania) and lows (depression). Manic states are marked by intense happiness or irritability, racing thoughts, the feeling that you need to do a hundred or so things simultaneously, an inability to focus on anything, bad judgment, increased risk-taking in activities like spending, driving and sex, and insomnia. Depression finds folks feeling miserable for weeks at a time, convinced they are worthless or to blame for everybody's problems. They might have an increase or decrease in appetite or sleep, appear apathetic, and lose interest in things they used to enjoy. Severe depression can lead to suicidal thoughts and attempts. A mixed state combines both manic and depressive elements, with individuals often feeling worthless and sad, but taking risks and otherwise behaving as in a manic state.

What are the signs of Aspergers?

Symptoms of this disease include: social skill problems, repetitive behaviors or odd habits, communication difficulties and limited range of interests.

The causes of Aspergers are not well known but research has shown that it can run in families...meaning it is genetic. So this must imply that the condition is biological...so it is either neurologically interrelated or genetic, right? At current time, there are no answers to this question.

Aspergers is a developmental disability on the autism spectrum. Individuals with Aspergers tend to have one or two highly-focused interests and can talk at length about them, without noticing when others are growing bored or disinterested in the conversation. They're not good at understanding body language or interpreting facial expressions and may speak very formally, as if they're reading from an encyclopedia. It's difficult for them to understand others' emotions or viewpoints. They have a hard time understanding sarcasm or idioms (phrases like "piece of cake" or "hit the road"). They may move awkwardly, with a stiff or clumsy gait. Many individuals with Aspergers have distinct mood swings. The inability to understand what goes on in social situations can lead to frustration and anger, creating behavior issues and outbursts of temper.

What are the similarities between Aspergers and Bipolar Disorder?

Because of its similarities, Aspergers and Pediatric Bipolar Disorder are very similar and can cause a misdiagnosis. The symptoms that are similar are: odd habits, compulsive behavior and spells of rage. Both disorders tend to lack the social development skills as well as the educational, behavioral and anger issues.

Bipolar can be in combination with Aspergers and this is, most often, the case. However, it is not clear if the neurological factors that cause Aspergers are related to the chemical imbalances that are thought to be the cause of pediatric bipolar disorder. As research continues in the area of neurological, technological and psychiatric issues, some answers should be forthcoming about the disease.

It can be difficult to diagnose bipolar disorder or other psychiatric illnesses in someone who has Aspergers. Doctors may attribute their symptoms to the developmental disability and not consider that there could be another, undiagnosed disorder. Because individuals with Aspergers are often less social than people in general, their moodiness may not affect relationships--a key factor in diagnosing bipolar disorder in the general population. Depressive apathy may be seen as the social deficit in Aspergers. What looks like the compulsive need to know everything about a topic of interest, common in individuals with Aspergers, may really be the impulsiveness and compulsive drive of bipolar disorder.

Treatments behind both illnesses—

The treatment options for both conditions are similar; yet there are no prescription drugs for Aspergers but you will find medications to treat the symptoms of it. Considering that the symptoms of Aspergers are very similar to bipolar disorder, prescription drugs used for bipolar may be used for Aspergers.

With both bipolar and Asperger disorders, counseling treatments are used but with the medication. Most of the Aspergers clients don't get medication but counseling is required so clients can learn to cope with their diagnosis.

If you know of a youngster who may be displaying any behaviors mentioned previously, they should be seen by a medical doctor as quickly as possible to be diagnosed. When a diagnosis has been made, a plan for treatment can be developed. Any undiagnosed disorders for both can lead to real trouble for friends, family and the suffering youngster.

Prior to making a diagnosis, your physician must take a comprehensive medical history, including any psychiatric illnesses among members of the family. He will cautiously assess the symptoms, noting the severity and duration of mood swings and other symptoms. In the case of diagnosing kids, the doctor may observe their behavior over the course of several visits to get an accurate measure of their behavior. Thyroid problems can cause symptoms similar to bipolar disorder, so the doctor may order a blood test to rule that out.

There are medications available for treating bipolar disorder in individuals with Aspergers. Individuals taking medications for bipolar should be carefully monitored for side effects. Some antipsychotics commonly prescribed for bipolar disorder can cause involuntary movements in kids; the risk of this is higher in kids with Aspergers. Because of possible communication deficits, it's essential to make careful note of any atypical behavior in individuals with Aspergers who are taking any kind of medication.

Therapy can help you understand the symptoms and learn to manage them. Average to high IQ is one component of Aspergers, so therapy can be quite effective in teaching about the disorders.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook