When You Get Non-Stop Questions from Your AS or HFA Child

Question

My 5 year old son with autism (high functioning)  has just started asking non-stop questions. I know that questions are a normal part of development, especially at this age, but his are EXTREME (one after another, questions upon questions, questions about the answers.... it is exhausting). By the end of the day, my head is just pounding from attempting to answer his questions, and if I don't answer them, it escalates into a meltdown. I don't know what to do and I feel like we are both losing our minds, and losing control of the situation. Any advice?

Answer

This is a common occurrence among children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger's (AS). Here's an idea that has worked for other parents. Give it a try:

Set up a “question-and-answer time” (e.g., after dinner). This is a time where you’re going to sit down with your son for 5 to 15 minutes – and that’s his time to ask questions. You may even instruct him to keep a journal so he can keep track of questions and write them down. So, something goes into his “questions journal,” and then during question-and-answer time, you take the time to explain things to him.

The great thing about the use of question-and-answer time is, if he starts asking questions at 3:00 PM, you can say, “Write that in your questions journal please, and we’ll talk about it at question-and-answer time.” In this way, you get a way to defer the question and do what is called a “redirect.” You are effectively redirecting him to another task (writing) instead of the task of asking questions.

NOTE: He doesn’t actually have to write down the entire question …just a word of two that will jog his memory. For example, if he starts asking questions about birds, redirect him to write the word “birds” in his questions journal. Also, get him a very cool-looking journal—one that he will be proud of. He can decorate it with stickers – or whatever.

==> Preventing Tantrums and Meltdowns in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

The Aspergers Questionnaire

The following questionnaire is designed to identify behaviors and abilities indicative of Aspergers (high functioning autism) during the child’s primary school years. This is the age at which the unusual pattern of behavior and abilities is most conspicuous. 

Answer the following with ‘yes’ or ‘no’:

1. Does the youngster appear unaware of social conventions or codes of conduct and make inappropriate actions and comments (e.g., making a personal comment to someone but the youngster seems unaware of how the comment could offend)?

2. Does the youngster become unduly upset by changes in routine or expectation (e.g., is distressed by going to school by a different route)?

3. Does the youngster develop elaborate routines or rituals that must be completed (e.g., lining up toys before going to bed)?

4. Does the youngster have a lack of sensitivity to low levels of pain?

5. Does the youngster have a tendency to flap or rock when excited or distressed?

6. Does the youngster have an exceptional long-term memory for events and facts (e.g., remembering the neighbor's car registration of several years ago, or clearly recalling scenes that happened many years ago)?

7. Does the youngster have an odd gait when running?

8. Does the youngster have an unusual tone of voice (e.g., seems to have a "foreign" accent or monotone that lacks emphasis on key words)?

9. Does the youngster have poor motor coordination (e.g., is not skilled at catching a ball)?

10. Does the youngster have problems repairing a conversation (e.g., when he is confused, he does not ask for clarification but simply switches to a familiar topic, or takes a very long time to think of a reply)?

11. Does the youngster have unusual facial grimaces or tics?

12. Does the youngster have unusual fear or distress due to light touch on skin or scalp?

13. Does the youngster have unusual fear or distress due to noisy crowded places (e.g., supermarkets)?

14. Does the youngster have unusual fear or distress due to ordinary sounds (e.g., electrical appliances)?

15. Does the youngster have unusual fear or distress due to seeing certain objects?

16. Does the youngster have unusual fear or distress due to unexpected noises?

17. Does the youngster have unusual fear or distress due to wearing particular items of clothing?

18. Does the youngster lack an understanding of how to play with other kids (e.g., unaware of the unwritten rules of social play)?

19. Does the youngster lack the intuitive understanding of another person's feelings (e.g., not realizing an apology would help the other person feel better)?

20. Does the youngster lack precision in his or her expression of emotion (e.g., not understanding the levels of emotional expression appropriate for different people)?

21. Does the youngster lack social imaginative play (e.g., other kids are not included in the youngster's imaginary games, or the youngster is confused by the pretend games of other kids)?

22. Does the youngster lack subtlety in his or her expression of emotion (e.g., the youngster shows distress or affection out of proportion to the situation)?

23. Does the youngster need an excessive amount of reassurance, especially if things are changed or go wrong?

24. Does the youngster read books primarily for information, not seeming to be interested in fictional works (e.g., being an avid reader of encyclopedias and science books, but not keen on adventure stories)?

25. Does the youngster seem to expect other people to know his thoughts, experiences and opinions?

26. Does the youngster take a literal interpretation of comments (e.g., is confused by phrases such as "pull your socks up," "looks can kill" or "hop on the scales")?

27. Have you had a ‘gut feeling’ that your youngster’s behavior was “different” compared to other kids?

28. Is the youngster fascinated by a particular topic and avidly collects information or statistics on that interest (e.g., becomes a walking encyclopedia of knowledge on vehicles, maps or league tables)?

29. Is the youngster indifferent to peer pressure (e.g., does not follow the latest craze in toys or clothes)?

30. Is the youngster not interested in participating in competitive sports, games and activities?

31. Is the youngster's speech over-precise or pedantic (e.g., talks in a formal way or like a walking dictionary)?

32. Was the youngster late in acquiring speech?

33. When free to play with other kids at school, does the youngster avoid social contact with them (e.g., finds a secluded place or goes to the library)?

34. When in a conversation, does the youngster tend to use less eye contact than you would expect?

35. When taking to the youngster, does he or she appear uninterested in your side of the conversation (e.g., not asking about or commenting on your thoughts or opinions on the topic)?

If the answer is yes to the majority of the questions above, it does not automatically suggest your youngster has Aspergers; however, it is a possibility – and a referral for a diagnostic assessment is warranted.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Behavior Modification Plan for Your Aspergers or HFA Child

A short-term behavior modification plan can break through a cycle of bad behavior in your Aspergers (AS) or High-Functioning Autistic (HFA) youngster. Think of it as a learning tool to help him move forward to a new level of social development. Four to six weeks on the plan is usually enough to change one or two specific behavior problems. At the very least, your youngster will have a clear understanding of your expectations for his behavior, even if he is not yet able to consistently maintain the desirable behavior.

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