Adult Diagnosis of Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

"I have a new boyfriend who is handsome, but quirky. I'm wondering if he has Asperger Syndrome. I wouldn't hold that against him if he has this disorder, but knowing that he does - if he does - would sure explain a lot of things for me. Is there a way to know for sure before approaching him on this matter?"

As more and more doctors - and society in general - understand more about Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism, the condition is being diagnosed in grown-ups as well as kids. Sometimes the diagnosis doesn’t come out in adults until their own son or daughter is diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Typical symptoms associated with Aspergers in adults include: 

• adhering strongly to routines and schedules
• an average or above average intelligence
• difficulty controlling their feelings
• difficulty empathizing with others
• difficulty thinking abstractly
• difficulty understand the emotions of others
• missing the subtleties of facial expression, eye contact and body language
• poor conversational ability
• some inappropriate social behaviors
• specializing in specific fields or hobbies

If your boyfriend has several of these traits, then he may want to seek an official diagnosis. 

A way for you to approach the matter is to lead with strengths. Most people with Aspergers have significant areas of strength (even if this has not been translatable into tangible success). Bring up areas of strength with your boyfriend. Next, tactfully point out the areas in which he may be struggling. Then, suggest to him that there is a name for that confusing combination of strengths and challenges, and it may be Aspergers.

Like kids with Aspergers, these adults are often seen as odd. In years past, such individuals muddled along in society - sometimes on the fringes – while others were diagnosed with different types of mental illnesses. Now that Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism have been brought into the public light by cases of people who either have succeeded despite the disorder or committed crimes as a result of having previously undiagnosed Aspergers, more adults are being picked-up and treated for the condition.

Often these aren’t adults specifically asking for help for suspected Aspergers, but rather have anxiety and/or depression, issues around self-esteem, or other mood issues that bring them to doctors or therapists that are now making the correct underlying diagnosis.

By finding the correct underlying diagnosis, more help can become available even to those who’ve likely had the diagnosis their entire lives – but were unnoticed or labeled something else.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

 
Comments:

•    Anonymous said… I'm an adult and I am certain that I have an undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder. I'm despressed and frustrated at this time because there seems to be no way of getting affordable autism testing and assessment from a qualified professional. I have spent many hours trying to make phone and internet inquiries into making this happen. My desire is to start a petition to President Obama to release funds for more services to be made assessible to adults, including autism testing. But I need to find someone who will give me permission to use a photo with the message "Children with autism become adults with autism" to make that happen. I have one daughter who is high-functioning and is on the spectrum and a biological dad (now deceased) who is believed to have been on the spectrum.
•    Anonymous said…  I have three places I am totally comfortable..my pub..my job and my own company.I was diagnosed at the aga of 52 by Dr Stephen Underwood in Australia.It was my ex who pushed me toward my being diagnosed and I still miss her very much but I have become comfortable with how my life will evolve..It takes an exceptional person to take on a telationship with an aspie.
•    Anonymous said…  talk to green maxville and associates in st.louis mo.they are helping me with my high functioning autism.i have health care usa managed care plan through mo health net.it is medicaid.having 10 sessions of behavior therapy and some comm therapy.my number is 314 792 4482.you not alone.i am 36 yr old adult.
•    Anonymous said…  I have long suspected I'm an undiagnosed aspergers. I have all the criteria listed. Unfortunately, I believe I was an absolute terrible baby and child with inexperienced parents and so suffered terribly through my childhood. This means that when I approach someone for help their focus goes to my abusive childhood rather than helping me with my aspergers symptoms now. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions for the best way for me to get some help and understanding?
•    Anonymous said…  I too was a "terrible child," abused by my mom, coaches, teachers and kids in school. I believed that there was something wrong with me, they told me I was "weird." That was my diagnosis. Despite, I did grow up to become a super successful adult (i guess high functioning autism). I am still not diagnosed and thought very highly of the skills for success I've developed. In my work I am a Certified High Performance Coach. Few years ago I received a Masters Degree in Spiritual Psychology. The tools I've learned through the program have changed my life, especially around relating to other people, empathy, compassion, relationships, and communication. I can't say that now I love large gatherings or enjoy small talk conversations and never feel socially awkward, no, all of that is present in my life. However, I am creating meaningful connections, change people's lives, enjoy beautiful relationships and most important, feel fulfilled and happy! Perhaps, I could be of service to you and support you with the tools that have helped me in my own life so profoundly! I would be happy to hear from you. Please don't hesitate to email me at coach underscore faye at me dot com. Sending you love and light on your journey.

 

Best Comment: "I did finally find a counselor who deals with adults with aspergers. I had no problem finding counselors who dealt with kids, but adults is a whole other matter. Actually finding someone who could do a diagnosis was easy. The larger companies around here (with multiple counselors) typically all had a diagnostic section that handled that sort of thing. Its the treatment side of things that got dicey. Reading the online blogs and websites, I think that will change over time. Relatively speaking, Asperger's and HFA are pretty new disorders. It didn't even exist in the DSM until I was in high school! I imagine there are a lot of adults out there dealing with these issues, and as time progresses, more and more clinicians will become better equipped to handle it."

 

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How can children with Aspergers cope with anger and depression?

Unfortunately, anger and depression are both issues more common in Aspergers and HFA than in the general population. Part of the problem stems from a conflict between longings for social contact and an inability to be social in ways that attract friendships and relationships. Even very young "Aspies" seem to know that they are not the same as their peers, and this gets emphasized in the social arena of the classroom. Many cases of depression, in fact, begin in elementary school (usually due to bullying and being an "outcast"). Anger, too, stems from feeling out of place and being angry at one’s circumstances in life.

Click here for the full article...

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"Aspie" Anger Control

Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism easily can have as much of a problem controlling their anger as other children. Because children and teens with Aspergers have difficulty understanding emotions and their impact on others, however, they often have more difficulty than other children reigning in their anger.

In addition, teens with Aspergers aren’t living in a void in which they don’t understand that they’re different from other kids. Often teased by their peers, they can have incipient anger they don’t understand and can’t easily control.

Click here for the full article...

 COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said... As the saying goes "if you've seen one kid with autism you've seen one kid with autism". They are all different just as neuro-typical kids are. The daycare our son was at starting noticing issues with transitions at 2 yrs old. Had him evaluated at home and they saw no issues because he was at home. Long story short the daycare kept us informed and said he would not do well in the 3yr old class due to its size and structure. Had him evaluated again by having a doc give us forms for all his caretakers old and new daycare to fill out including us. He narrowed it down to aspergers or ADHD. Tried rydalin for one day and it sent him over the edge (which it will do if you are not ADHD) Been in speech and OT ever since then and we take courses and read up as well and he's doing beautifully. Can still see the asperger issues but they are getting milder all the time.
•    Anonymous said... I am blessed, I have enough ASD myself that I "get it" when my 15 yr old totally goes Bonkers over NOTHING! We have to work to find the triggers, hard since they don't often Share what they feel. They really do have a Reason for their explosions, We just don't always know what the reason is! Hard work developing communication so we can understand their reasons, but its worth the work!
•    Anonymous said... its all just trial and error. You'll have periods of regression and then again of progressio just don't give up, ull find what works for ur family.
•    Anonymous said... Mine def has explosive anger and he is 5...
•    Anonymous said... mine does, at the drop of a dime.
•    Anonymous said... Mine doesn't get upset about anything. He gets a little ticked sometimes but never angry explosive. He is very mellow in fact. Does that mean he doesn't have AS?
•    Anonymous said... Mine is also quite explosive.
•    Anonymous said... Mine sure does and often about the dumbest/weirdest things!
•    Anonymous said... My 8 year old has for years with nothing helping so far.
•    Anonymous said... seems trivial to you - but not to your asperger's child. To them, expectations and perceptions are different than they are to you. It is difficult to think on their level. I almost lost my daughter a few times because of her outbursts, but she is learning and maturing and it is getting easier. Good luck!
•    Anonymous said... this sounds like the methods we are using with our son too. He's only 7 & it's only just begun to improve, but it's so great to read your post & hear how well it's worked for your son at 15, gives me hope! His sensory & social difficulties 1st became apparent around age 2, w/ diagnosis starting at age 4. Up until last summer we had never discussed with him what his diagnosis were or what they meant. He had a bad meltdown at a store one day & as much as I tried to hold it together, when the clerk got in his face & scolded him (making the meltdown escalate drastically of coarse), I LOST it! Ended up yelling at the clerk & blurting out "my son has Autism & thanks to you this meltdown is about to get a thousand times worse! In the future please keep your comments & opinions to yourself unless you know for sure what you're dealing with!" Needless to say, I felt awful later (once I calmed down & got him to a safe place) for lashing out at that complete stranger! But...it turned out to be a blessing in disguise! Since he had heard every word I said to her, he asked "mommy what is Autism & am I going to be ok?" The dreaded question & praying I could answer it correctly... We talked for a while about it & that seemed to be a turning point for him! It helped him understand why he feels the way he feels sometimes & that has helped him deal with those feelings. We never allow it to be an excuse for bad behavior, & there are always consequences when that happens, I think accountability for actions is very important because that is "the real world". A few months later, I heard him explain (as best he could) to a Neuro typical child that he had something called Autism & that's why he needed a break away from them to calm down! Priceless!

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