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Altered Disciplinary Methods for High-Functioning Autistic Children

"My 5 y.o. son was recently diagnosed with high functioning autism. In light of this revelation, should I discipline him the same way I do my other kids, or should I make some adjustments based on his condition?"

Kids with ASD Level 1 or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) have no greater permission to misbehave than your other kids. But, the way you gain control over your “typical” kids’ behavior will differ with an HFA youngster, mostly because of differences in how he thinks and how he perceives rewards and discipline.

HFA kids do not respond well to negative reinforcement (e.g., threatening, scolding, etc.). Also, they don’t respond negatively to isolation, so the statement, “Go to your room!” may be seen as a reward instead of a consequence. Furthermore, spanking should never be used – not even as a last resort. 


Due to the way he thinks, your son probably won’t be able to tie the “misbehavior” to the “punishment,” leaving you back at square one. Therefore, you need to be more creative in defining which things will be viewed as rewards - and which things will be viewed as discipline.





Focus on rewarding (reinforcing) positive behavior rather than simply punishing “bad” behavior. Positive rewards can include being able to play a preferred computer game, listening to preferred music, or watching a preferred television program. Rewarding your son in this way may be enough to alter his behavior accordingly.

These specific privileges are often offered because HFA kids respond less to human contact - or even human praise – and more to the presence or absence of “things.” Rewards can be offered along with praise, but praise alone has little positive benefit and doesn’t improve self-esteem the same way it does for “typical” kids.

Discipline should involve removing anything your son prefers (e.g., television, toys, computer games, movies, etc.). All discipline and rewards must come with very concrete explanations as to why they are given. Only then can he match the reward or consequence with the behavior he has engaged in - and only then can change occur.

"Make-ups" can also be used as a form of discipline. This mother of an HFA child describes it well:

"I find it is critical that my son (9 yrs) have the chance to earn back his lost computer time. He usually is given the chance to do 'make ups' - to help me with a chore I would usually do or give me comfort in or whomever he has wronged. We negotiate these things depending. This week - he freaked out that the shirt he likes to wear to church each week was dirty, and he yelled at his dad for 20 minutes - so he picked up 50 sticks in the yard. He had a meltdown in public with me - so he had to play an anger management game with me or empty the dishwasher. 'Make ups' have to be approved by the offended. If we're fighting over homework and he's had a punishment given - it might simply be that he finishes the rest of the work without any more arguing and foregoes a break or agrees to work ahead on something."
 
==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
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Promoting Independence in Adolescence: Help for Teenagers on the Autism Spectrum

"Now that my son with high functioning autism has become a teenager, are there things that I should be doing now to prepare him for adulthood?"

The teen years can be difficult whether or not your child has High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger's (AS). In situations where he does, however, there are special challenges that differ depending on the child.

Some parents find themselves dealing with a teenager who is a loner, who has few friends, and focuses on one or more hobbies or preoccupations. This type of child is independent in some ways, but lacks the maturity to truly be independent in life. A teen like this needs to be pushed in the direction of finding friends and developing relationships.


He or she may also need to learn some of the specific things necessary for “life independence,” like how to deal with money, cleaning up after oneself, doing the laundry and other life skills that will be needed once the teen is ready to leave home. Interpersonal skills, including how to talk to service people, shop assistants, and other people he may meet along the way, should be taught and practiced as concretely as possible.

Other parents are dealing with the ongoing presence of rituals and obsessions that might interfere with the teen’s eventual independence. Psychotherapy might work in this kind of situation, but there are also medications designed to control ritual behavior. Getting this under control as a teenager will go a long way in enhancing the teen’s adult experience as she grows older.


Other things that you can teach your son to prepare him for adulthood include the following:
  • Accepting responsibility and consequences for actions (e.g., missing a deadline) and learning how to plan for emergencies
  • Balancing educational and recreational computer use
  • Completing homework, essays, and projects without reminders or involvement from mom or dad, professors, or tutors
  • Developing realistic expectations and plans about academic workload at college or technical school
  • Doing chores (e.g., laundry, cooking, and cleaning)
  • Good sleep habits
  • Handling increased social freedom and pressures (e.g., drugs and alcohol, dating and sex)
  • Healthy nutrition and exercise
  • Knowing schedules for classes
  • Money management (e.g., using ATM’s, credit and debit cards, checkbook, online banking)
  • Navigating public transportation and knowing how to get around new areas
  • Organizational skills needed to balance work and social life
  • Organizing study materials
  • Time-management skills
  • Running errands (e.g., grocery, gasoline)
  • Scheduling, canceling, and keeping doctor’s appointments

Adolescence is a time when depression can develop in teens, especially in those who know they don’t fit in and suffer from resultant poor self-esteem. Be aware of the signs of depression, and be proactive through the use of psychotherapy or medications to control some of these symptoms. This means, as a parent, you need to be aware of excessive isolation, “dark” language, outbursts of anger, or self-mutilation.

Help is available and can assist the teen resolve some of the conflicts unique to adolescence and having HFA or AS.

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD

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