Survival Techniques for Aspergers Teens

The challenges of Aspergers (high functioning autism) can be many, especially for adolescents. Because socialization plays a major role in teens' lives, the world of an Aspergers adolescent can be a difficult one. Unfortunately, schoolmates and friends are often ignorant about the characteristics associated with Aspergers. This ignorance can often lead to cruelty, making an "Aspie" feel ostracized from other adolescents. Social issues are some of the most common problems associated with this condition.

Because the range of symptoms and behaviors are so varied from one youngster to another, the key to discovering coping mechanisms for adolescents with Aspergers depends somewhat on understanding these behaviors. For many young people, the behavior of an Aspergers adolescent can be puzzling and sometimes irritating. Because of this, many schoolmates simply ignore that adolescent. This could result in even more negative behavior on the part of the Aspergers adolescent because, although he may strongly desire social interaction, he doesn't know how to go about achieving that connection with other children his age. Socialization problems, communication difficulties, and physical disabilities may make him feel separated from others.

Common behavior issues include the following:

• Inability to make everyday conversation
• Inability to make eye contact
• Inability to respond appropriately
• Inability to show humor, takes everything literally
• May have difficulty with speech
• May have impaired motor skills
• Need for specific routine, and may want to impose this need on others

Survival Techniques for Aspergers Adolescents

Survival techniques for Aspergers adolescents can help these children deal with the daily stress and often profound loneliness that they experience. Because adolescents with Aspergers may not be able to cope alone, it is imperative that all of those involved in the adolescent's life, including moms and dads, teachers, and others, learn how to help him or her cope.

Here’s how you can help:

1. Build a support system. This is extremely important for your adolescent. Talk to other moms and dads, professionals, etc. about what is going on.

2. Educate yourself. The more you know about the disorder, the more adept you'll be at helping your youngster learn to cope with the issues he'll face.

3. Get others involved. It may be difficult for your youngster to make friends, but you can help by encouraging her to get involved in school. Drama, chorus, art, band, and various sports can open up your youngster's world. Invite other adolescents to your home, and include their moms and dads in some of the plans. Discuss with these individuals some of the issues your youngster faces each day, and don't be afraid to ask for help.

4. Help your youngster discover a passion. Whether this is acting, writing, drawing, etc., help your youngster find his niche in the world. This is one of the best survival techniques he can use!

5. Know the youngster. Because each youngster is different, coping mechanisms will vary as well.

6. Ask your adolescent to picture a peaceful setting, such as the beach, a meadow, a stream, etc. Have him close his eyes and dwell on this picture for several minutes.

7. Concentrated breathing will help him relax his muscles. Breathing in and out slowly for several moments will reduce his feelings of anxiousness.

8. Relax each set of muscles, beginning from the feet and working up, or beginning from the face and working down. Focus on relaxing each section of your body for ten seconds each. Sometimes it helps to tense the muscle first, and then begin the relaxation method. Practice this as often as is necessary.

Discipline for Defiant Aspergers Teens

List of Aspergers Characteristics

Question

Would you have a complete list of characteristics found in people with Aspergers?

Answer

Below is a fairly exhaustive list of Aspergers (high functioning autistic) characteristics; however, keep in mind that no two "Aspies" are the exactly the same, and no single Aspie has ALL these traits. If you suspect your child or partner has Aspergers, the best thing you can do, as a parent or spouse, is arm yourself with information about this disorder.

Personal / Physical—

• Being "in their own world"

• Can engage in tasks (sometimes mundane ones) for hours and hours

• Can spend hours in the library researching, loves learning and information

• Clumsiness

• Collects things

• Doesn't always recognize faces right away (even close loved ones)

• Early in life they often have a speech impediment

• Eccentric personality

• Excellent rote memory

• Flat, or blank expression much of the time

• Highly gifted in one or more areas (e.g., math, music, etc.)

• Idiosyncratic attachment to inanimate objects

• Intense focus on one or two subjects

• Likes and dislikes can be very rigid

• Limited interests

• May have difficulty staying in college despite a high level of intelligence

• Non-verbal communication problems

• Difficulty reading body language, facial expression and tone

• Preoccupied with their own agenda

• Repetitive routines or rituals

• Sensitivity to the texture of foods

• Single-mindedness

• Speech and language peculiarities (hyperlexia)

• Strong sensitivity to sound, touch, taste, sight, and smell (e.g., fabrics, won’t wear certain things, fluorescent lights)

• Uncoordinated motor movements

• Unusual preoccupations

• Word repetition (they may frequently repeat what you've just said)

Social Interactions—

• Can obsess about having friends to prove they’re “normal”

• Desire for friendships and social contact but difficulty acquiring and maintaining them

• Difficulty understanding others’ feelings

• Great difficulty with small-talk and chatter

• Has an urge to inform that can result in being blunt or insulting

• Lack of empathy at times

• Lack of interest in other people

• May avoid social gatherings

• Preoccupied with their own agenda

• Rigid social behavior due to an inability to spontaneously adapt to variations in social situations

• Shuts down in social situations

• Social withdrawal

In Relationships (mainly pertains to Aspergers men)—

• Can often be distant physically and/or emotionally

• Can stop putting any effort into relationship after a time, and doesn’t understand why she then stops giving too

• He can be very critical and takes it personally if she won’t wear something he likes, or wears something he dislikes

• He can become quite defensive when she asks for clarification or a little sympathy; the defensiveness can turn into verbal abuse (usually not physical abuse) as the man attempts to control the communication to suit his view of the world

• He has a hard time saying “I love you,” showing physical affection; as a result it is difficult to find out if they do love you

• He will do what he thinks is best for the both of them but seldom talks to her about her feelings or opinions

• His attention is narrowly focused on his own interests

• If she tries to share her love for him, he may find her need to “connect” smothering

• Men with undiagnosed Aspergers often feel as if their partner is being ungrateful or “bitchy” when she complains he is uncaring or never listens to her

• Often are attracted to another purely because they are attracted to him

• Often times they will make no motions to keep a relationship going (be it friendship, or something more)

• They won't call, and you might not see them for days; that doesn't mean they don't care

Positive Aspergers Traits—

1. Attention to detail – sometimes with painstaking perfection.

2. Focus and diligence – has an ability to focus on tasks for a long period of time without needing supervision or incentive is legendary.

3. Higher fluid intelligence – scientists in Japan have recently discovered that Aspergers kids have a higher “fluid intelligence” than non-Aspergers kids. Fluid intelligence is the ability to find meaning in confusion and solve new problems. It is the ability to draw inferences and understand the relationships of various concepts, independent of acquired knowledge. Experts say that those with Aspergers have a higher than average general IQ as well.

4. Honesty – the value of being able to say “the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes.”

5. Independent, unique thinking – people with Aspergers tend to spend a lot of time alone and will likely have developed their own unique thoughts as opposed to a ‘herd’ mentality.

6. Internal motivation – as opposed to being motivated by praise, money, bills or acceptance. This ensures a job done with conscience, with personal pride.

7. Logic over emotion – although people with Aspergers are very emotional at times, they spend so much time ‘computing’ in our minds that they get quite good at it. They can be very logical in their approach to problem-solving.

8. Visual, three-dimensional thinking – some with Aspergers are very visual in their thought processes, which lends itself to countless useful and creative applications.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook