When and How to Tell Children They Have Asperger's

By Mark Hutten, M.A.

Image Source: Pixabay

 

Discovering that your child has Asperger’s is a challenging situation for any parent. You may feel worried or overwhelmed, unsure of how to tell your child about their diagnosis. While it’s natural to feel anxious, it’s essential to have a conversation with your child. Your child has the right to know and understand why they might be different from their peers. As a parent, it's your responsibility to ensure your child receives the support they need. In this post, we’ll explore when and how to tell your child about their Asperger’s diagnosis.

Age and Maturity

While there is no right time, experts suggest that it’s best to have the conversation before your child enters adolescence. Children are aware of their differences early on, and if you delay the conversation for too long, they may develop feelings of confusion and isolation.

Children with Asperger's may already be aware of their difficulties in certain areas, like social interactions, making friends, or coping with sensory processing issues. By talking openly with your child, you can help them understand their particular needs and how to get the right support at school, home, and in other areas of their lives.

Respect Your Child’s Processing Style

A child's processing style should always be respected, especially when it comes to communicating that they have Asperger's. It's essential to approach this topic with sensitivity, compassion, and understanding. It’s important to offer simple explanations that cater to their developmental level and individual needs. You should even consider getting advice from a family nurse practitioner on how to handle this.

 

Take the time to listen and observe their reactions. Explain things as best you can in a reassuring tone, so your child feels comforted and supported while they process this new information. As adults, we play an important role in helping our children adjust to life with Asperger’s, and respecting their processing style is a crucial part of this journey.

How to Explain to Your Child

You need to prepare yourself first. Take some time to learn about Asperger’s, its symptoms, and how it affects your child. You may want to seek support from a therapist, counselor or support group. Gather your thoughts, practice what you’re going to say, and choose a time when you and your child are relaxed. Try to avoid distractions and create an atmosphere that is calm and focused.

 

When having the Asperger’s talk, avoid using complex medical jargon, instead, use simple language that your child can understand. You could start by explaining what Asperger's is: "Some people’s brains work differently, and that’s okay." Then you could share more specific examples of your child’s difficulties and differences, and how they make your child unique. You can also mention that many successful people, like Albert Einstein, have been diagnosed with Asperger's.

 

It’s also essential to emphasize that the diagnosis does not change who your child is or their worth. Explain that the diagnosis is just a label that can help people understand them better, and it opens up more resources and support available to them. End the conversation with an opportunity for your child to ask questions or share their thoughts and feelings. Listen to your child without judgment, and reassure them that you will continue to support them as they navigate their journey with Asperger’s.

Endnote

Telling your child about their Asperger’s diagnosis is a genuine expression of love and acceptance. While the conversation may feel challenging, it’s an essential step towards helping your child feel seen, heard, and supported. Remember to approach the conversation with an open mind, create a safe and relaxed environment, use simple language, and most importantly, listen to your child. By doing so, you can help your child navigate their Asperger’s journey with confidence and self-love.

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