My ASD Child

“Is it common for aspergers teenagers to retaliate (sometimes violently) when they feel that they are being mistreated by siblings, peers, etc.?” Common? No. Does it happen? Yes. Most juveniles with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) have strict codes of behavior that often include a dislike or even hatred of violence. Even among them, however, aggression can be a problem when the juvenile or young adult becomes frustrated, feels unfairly treated, or feels excluded. Juveniles with AS and HFA can persuade themselves that aggression is justified in these circumstances. Aggression toward younger siblings may be a problem, as may aggression at school, but the usual arena is at home. This kind of aggression may be explosive, in which case there is often a sharp onset and a sharp offset. The AS or HFA juvenile may be even more unaware of the impact of his aggression than others who have tantrums. Parents often say something like this: “He calmed down quickly, long

“My 10 year old only child has recently been diagnosed on the Autism spectrum (what is closest to Aspergers).  He has always had a difficult time making friends, which has become more problematic with the loss of 2 best friends in the last year.  He has never made lasting friendships. Is this part of high functioning autism? How can I help?” Yes, poor social interaction is part of the disorder. Some kids with Asperger’s (AS) and High Functioning Autism (HFA) do seem to lack interest in others and may prefer solitary activities. For example, Ronnie, age 7, was very skilled at building with blocks and Legos. However, when another youngster would approach to try to join his play, he would become extremely angry, not wanting his play to be disturbed. Inappropriate overtures towards others, or inappropriate responses to the approaches of other people are common occurrences. Michael, age 6, was fascinated with his next-door neighbor, Tyler, a toddler of 18 months. Unfortunately,

Would you say your child has frequent mood swings and an anger-management problem? If so, then read on… As a parent of a child with Asperger’s (AS) or High Functioning Autism (HFA), it’s a very good idea to draw up a written contract detailing the things you want your child to practice in the course of his anger-management program. Drafting such a contract is a way of providing structure and support, which is crucial for children on the autism spectrum since they need and crave structure. The items included in the contract should be written from the perspective of the child (i.e., phrased in the first person). For example, “When I get angry, I will stop what I’m doing and go get my favorite stuffed toy to hug” …rather than, “When Michael gets angry, he will stop what he’s doing and go get his favorite stuffed toy to hug.” The details of the contract are important. You want to be very specific in describing: The goals for the anger-control program (i.e., what you hop

“Is it common for children with an autism spectrum disorder to come off as rude? My son will say and do things that can be inappropriate (especially to his younger sister), which makes him appear as if he has no feelings for others.” It is fairly common. But this isn’t to say that kids with Asperger’s (AS) and High Functioning Autism (HFA) are heartless. These children have difficulty using non-verbal behaviors in social interaction. Here are some examples: Body postures regulating social interaction may be affected. A very common example of this difficulty is that kids with AS and HFA may not know how to judge social distance and may stand too close. Eye contact may be impaired, meaning that the youngster may not look at others upon greeting or during conversations, and may not respond when others try to catch his eye. It’s easy to see why others might inaccurately perceive the child to be rude for not paying attention. Facial expressions used to communicate may be odd.

“Can an autistic (high functioning) child’s anxiety play out as anger, and then morph to a meltdown?” Good question. The answer is yes. There are many scenarios, but the most popular one I see goes like this: The Aspergers or high-functioning autistic child begins to feel anxious ...his anxiety turns to anger ...his anger is misdirected toward the parent ...the parent becomes offended and pursues some form of punishment ...the child’s anxiety increases ...the conflict escalates (meltdown). A meltdown is a state of neurological chaos where the Aspergers or HFA child's brain and nervous system overheat and stop working properly. A good analogy is a nuclear power plant where the fuel in the reactor core becomes so hot that it melts and releases energy. Sometimes it gets so hot that it causes an explosion, and the energy is released outside of the core. It’s this explosive reaction that most parents and teachers refer to when they talk about meltdowns (although many conf

"Any tips for dealing with a very fragile and overly sensitive child on the autism spectrum ...he's a chronic worrier to say the least and will go back and forth between being extremely shy or very aggressive?" As some parents may have discovered, many young people with Asperger’s (AS) and High Functioning Autism (HFA) are “emotionally fragile” (to coin a term). In other words, these individuals have great difficulty coping with day-to-day stressors, and exhibit unusually withdrawn or aggressive behaviors as a defense mechanism. Emotional fragility is most prevalent in school-age AS and HFA kids. It can manifest itself in many ways, all of which are challenging for the youngster, parents, and teachers. These young people often exhibit a variety of symptoms that cause school psychologists to misdiagnose them with depression, bipolar disorder, or some other disorder. A wrong diagnosis can often lead to the youngster being placed in inappropriate special educatio

“I have a 19 y.o. son with high functioning autism. I am curious how he will do out in the world as an adult. How well do people with the condition truly 'function' when they actually have to fend for themselves?” One of the most interesting and useful sources of data on outcome derives indirectly from observing those parents of kids with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS) who themselves appear to be somewhere on the autism spectrum. From these observations, it is clear that HFA does not preclude the potential for a more "typical" adult life. These grown-ups will often gravitate to a job or profession that relates to their own areas of special interest, sometimes becoming very proficient. Many young people with HFA and AS are able to successfully complete college – and even graduate school. However, in most cases, they will continue to demonstrate (at least to some extent) subtle differences compared to “typical” adults. For example: M

"How can a parent tell whether or not her preschool daughter has high functioning autism? I’m beginning to have my suspicions!" There is no single, uniform presenting picture of High-Functioning Autism (HFA) in the first 3-4 years of life. The early picture may be difficult to distinguish from typical autism, suggesting that when evaluating any young girl with autism with apparently normal intelligence, the possibility should be entertained that she may eventually have a picture more compatible with an HFA diagnosis. Other girls may have early language delays with rapid "catch-up" between the ages of 3 and 5 years. Some of these young people (especially the brightest ones) may have no evidence of early developmental delay (with the possible exception of motor clumsiness). In most cases, if you look closely at the girl between the age of about 3 and 5, clues to the disorder can be found, and in most cases a comprehensive evaluation at that age can at least po

As a parent with a child on the autism spectrum, you have probably already figured out that kids with Asperger’s (AS) and High Functioning Autism (HFA) are often easily upset by minor circumstances. They may cry at the drop of a hat, or crumble when the parent raises his or her voice at them (even slightly). They seem to have a bionic sense of smell, and want all the tags pulled out from their shirts. They enjoy quiet play more than big and noisy groups, ask lots of questions, and are incredibly perceptive – noticing all the minor details of life. These children may have even been labeled as "shy" or "highly emotional" by parents and teachers. But before you write-off these “special needs” kids as drama queens, consider the fact that these behaviors may part of their disorder. Parenting highly-sensitive AS and HFA youngsters can be challenging. These kids are often tender-hearted, easily upset, and fearful of many aspects of everyday life. They are oft