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Teaching Aspergers Children the Social Etiquette of "Play"

Young people with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism often have trouble with social interactions. Understanding what someone is saying and being able to react to it quickly and appropriately is critical to being part of a conversation. But some Aspergers kids can’t do that without help.

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Anonymous said...

Even w rules our kids still dont get it...its easier w family they have thier own language but play groups/school its a battle everyday..and bless my older one he always thinks hes the winner unless someone or something says hes not :P

Ella said...

Thank you for this article.

Just came back home from a day out with my son. It was very difficult day for him. We went to the zoo (that we always go to because he loves it) They also have a large playground there and he continually got into trouble with other kids, and at some point he became violent.

It was really sad to watch and I didn't know how to help him.

These problems are mostly in new places and new situations - at school he has many friends and is well loved (we always have kids fighting for playdates with him).

Why is there so much difference between playing with kids he knows and playing with new kids?

Is it because the rules and codes are not clear? How can I help him do better besides talking and playing with him? Is there a therapy/ course that can help?

I feel like I'm sending him to the battle without a strategy... I wish I could do more to help him and give him the right tools.

HollyArtist said...

It's quite interesting to read this today after having been to Pitch and Putt with my 12 year old Aspie, my partner and his 10 year old.

My son and my partners son get on extremely well but the concept of having to take turns and sometimes doing badly were very challenging.

I do find it very exhausting. I love him dearly but his lack of etiquette does put a strain on events that should otherwise be fun and relaxing.

I have learnt to deal with it by being incredibly flexible as to how I approach him. Being consistent, fair and just talking him through things. Talking and having relaxed discussions with my wonderful child is definitely the best way. But there is no let up. I have to be 'on the ball' the whole time.

I know I can't be with him all the time and all his life and I just hope I am helping him in some ways. That I am giving him coping tools.

Only time will tell.

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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