Autism Meltdown-Management 101: Key Points for Parents and Teachers
A meltdown is a condition where the youngster with Aspergers or High Functioning Autism temporarily loses control due to emotional responses to environmental factors. It generally appears that the youngster has lost control over a single and specific issue, however this is very rarely the case. Usually, the problem is the accumulation of a number of irritations which could span a fairly long period of time, particularly given the strong long-term memory abilities of young people on the autism spectrum.
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I am a 44 year old Aspie woman - it doesn't get any easier, really. I have just learned how to conceal the effects better.
I wrote on my blog thechristianaspie.com what a meltdown feels like to me. I hope it helps people better understand AS as well as this article helps the understand it isn't their fault - most of the time and, more importantly, there really isn't anything they can do about it.
When he was younger, I tried the charts, rebuses, etc., only to have him manipulate his way around them. He is extremely bright, but has no confidence. He has many, many phobias. He has a few friends, but sometimes avoids them by stalling on his schoolwork (he’s homeschooled-our county has a lousy Autism/Aspergers’ program), and will lie, cheat, manipulate. He was diagnosed at age 6 with Aspergers’, manifested in ADHD, ODD, and OCD. My husband is also Aspergers’-he was diagnosed when my son and he were part of an Aspergers’ study out of Duke/University of South Carolina-and is easily manipulated by my son and has “quiet meltdowns”. They tested identical.
I sometime feel like I am losing my mind. I have seen your website and I am very interested. Can your program help my husband as well as my son? There are other stresses in the home-my husband has been laid-off for the second time in 2 years, and I am physically disabled. Could this be part of my son’s meltdowns?
We have had a good 10 days with him, but this weekend he has developed a sinus infection which seems to have really agitated him and he can’t seem to relax and settle like he could last week.
We are getting some help next week from a psychologist who wants to work with his food phobias and strategies to help him relax when he is in a meltdown.
At home, we get along pretty well. Jacob sometimes has meltdowns over video games if he's stuck in a place that he can't beat, in which case we take away the game until he has had plenty of time to calm down and regroup himself. Once he gets the game back, he usually beats that part right away simply because he is now calm and collected. We rarely have issues other than that at home.
School is an entirely different situation. Jacob is easily annoyed by other students. The smallest things seem to set him off. Someone bumps his foot under the desk, someone reminds him to open his textbook to the correct page, there have actually been cases where a student was just looking in Jacob's direction and he felt that they were staring at him. He goes VERY quickly into anger and yelling. Sometimes swearing, name calling, threatening to kill or dismember, and sometimes to physical violence. He has hit, punched, kicked, tackled, and even peed on someones feet in the restroom. He is very small for his age and not very strong, so he has never done any real damage, but he could easily be injured by some of the boys he has attacked.
Jacob has been suspended both in and out of school for his behavior. Now the principal wants to have an intervention meeting.
Jacob feels that he cannot change his behavior and doesn't have control over his anger. Sometimes we even suspect he has no desire to change his own behavior and just wants everyone else to change the way they treat him.
He is currently in counceling at Easter Seals, as well as a social skills group for boys with Aspergers at Easter Seals. He sees a psychiatrist and is on Paxil for the OCD symptoms. We have tried several other medications for his symptoms over the years (intuniv, stratera, depakote, can't remember what else) with either no results or very bad side effects. We no longer want to medicate him for anything but the OCD. The paxil does help with that.
To top everything off, there are kids at school who are picking on him and making fun of his touretts. They call him Twitch, and Home, and Albino (because he's very pale complected with very light colored hair).
Since the majority of problems are at school, and his behavior escalates so quickly, we are unsure what to do. The councelor at Easter Seals even was surprised by how quickly he escalates to anger. Do you believe that your online program/ebook is something that would be helpful to us and the school staff? I want to go to our intervention meeting prepared with some intervention ideas and am trying to gather information and techniques to try with him. Right now, all he's getting from the school staff is isolation from the other kids, and being told to stay away from the kids that bother him and think about the consequences of his actions.
After the meltdown has happened, I go into his room & then we talk. I hold him close & tell him how much I love him. That I'm not upset with him & accept that sometimes we just lose control. The energy that is released when he is upset to that point is necessary. He releases all that may be pent up from hours or days or weeks of pushing it down.
I know some parents will disagree & I'll admit watching my son suffer gives me no pleasure- quite the opposite as it awakens every neutering bone in my body. But as long as no harm comes to him- better that he meltdown at home, safely & with understanding, compassionate & loving members of his family around him- then in public with glaring eyes & judgement.
If his meltdown is interrupted- he remains very negative. Talking back & almost trying to get that negative attention which I refuse to give into. Not only does that show him that negative behavior will not be tolerated but it also tells his younger brother that talking back & trying to say things to hurt others isn't good behavior & will be reprimanded. I do not punish a meltdown. We work through it. But, if he lost his game before the meltdown, we determine how long it is for or how he can get it back AFTER the meltdown has concluded. Once he is more receptive to having choices & he's not shutting down or saying no to all of the options I've given him.
I realize to each his own but with my experience, reading & research & observation- this is what works for us.
Prayers, blessings & good vibes for all who are diagnosed or live & love someone with this superpower.
And also treating the child with the same dignity and respect you would give a "normal" kid helps a great deal, but hopefully you already know that. I know my parents/teachers didn't, but then again they didn't know that I was autistic, and they have no idea how uncontrollable, terrifying, and embarrassing public meltdowns can be for an autistic kid, especially when people respond with anger and punishment instead of the compassion the child needs.