My ASD Child

I have an 11 year old daughter I am going to need your expert help with.  I have known for years she was on the spectrum at the high end but don't have a diagnosis.  We have done all the on line tests and even the Asperger's Syndrome Diagnostic Scale which puts her in the "very likely" range.  All the other parent questionaires and quizes scored her very high for AS or HFA.  The problem with officially diagnosing is she also has selective mutism.  Communicates fairly well at home with immediate family members and has one same age cousin that she talks to..That's it.  Clams up completely when we get in the car to go anywhere. Social anxiety BIGTIME.  We are seeing a therapist for the SM but she wants further testing to confirm the AS - but how to test on a child who will not talk or cooperate outside the home?  Do you have experience with selective mutism?  I read about some kids with AS having SM but can't find anything that says what tool they used to diagnos

"My son (high functioning, 15 years old) has a hard time learning from past 'social mistakes' and usually reacts without thinking through to the likely outcomes as he interacts with his peers. Is there a way to help him be a bit more insightful, that is, be able to generalize from one situation to the next and identify cause-and-effect re: the things he says and does around friends and classmates?" Having positive peer relationships is important for all adolescents. Unfortunately, many teens with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) have a hard time making and keeping friends and being accepted within the larger peer group. The perceived “odd behavior” associated with AS and HFA can wreak havoc in an adolescent's attempts to connect with classmates in positive ways. Not being accepted by others, feeling isolated, different, unlikeable and alone – this is probably the most painful aspect of having AS and HFA. These negative experiences carry lo