Question
I work with a young boy with Aspergers, and we (the parents and I) are looking for ways to help the child with repetitive (perseverative) thoughts, i.e., he wants to know what his snack is for school. He will ask his mom, his mom will tell him, then he will ask again while getting dressed, then ask again while getting on the bus, then he screams from the bus window, "what’s for snack today?", then the school nurse will call and say he needs to talk to Mom or Dad because he needs to ask again.
Answer
You’re referring to obsessive thoughts. Rituals and obsessions are one of the hallmarks of Aspergers. In order to cope with the anxieties and stresses about the chaotic world around them, kids often obsess and ritualize their behaviors to comfort themselves. While some kids may spend their time intensely studying one area, others may be compulsive about cleaning, lining up items, or even doing things which put them or others in danger.
How to deal with an Aspergers child's obsessions:
1. Be prepared for resistance by arming yourself with suggestions and alternatives to your youngster's behavior. A great way of doing this is by creating a "social story". Carol Gray's Social Stories site is a great resource for parents and educators alike to create books which will modify behavior in kids with autistic spectrum disorders.
2. Choose your battles wisely. Breaking an obsession or ritual is like running a war campaign. If not planned wisely or if you attempt to fight on many fronts, you're guaranteed to fail. Not only is it time consuming and tiring, it means you can't devote 100% to each particular area. So, if you have a youngster with a game obsession, a phobia of baths and bedtime troubles, choose only one to deal with. Personally, and I have had that choice, I dealt with the bedtime troubles. Using logic, a sleep deprived youngster certainly isn't going to deal with behavioral modification in other areas well. Plus, it was having an effect on his overall health. Deal with the worst first!
3. Communicate with your youngster to explain the effect that his or her ritual is having on your family as a whole. My son's 2am wakeup calls were affecting me mentally, emotionally and physically, and I told him so. I pulled some research off the internet about sleep needs and discussed this with him.
4. Speak to professionals for advice. Contact your pediatrician for recommendations for behavior therapists. Your local parent support groups and national associations, such as the National Autistic Society, will not only provide you support but the information you need to move forward with your youngster.
5. When breaking an obsession or ritual, examine the ways that you may have fed into this. With my son's bedtime activities, I found I was too tired to fight his waking up at 2am. While dealing with this ritual, I ensured I was in bed early myself so I had enough sleep in me to knock his night owl tendencies on the head.
6. When tackling any problem with any youngster, Aspergers or not, it's always best to remain calm at all times. Kids can feed off your anger, frustration and anxiety, so keeping a level head at all times is essential. If you feel a situation is escalating and elevating your blood pressure, take a step back and collect yourself.
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14 comments:
Sounds soooo familiar...
My son had the same problem. What we started doing is taking a picture of the snack, printed out fold the pic and put it in his pants pocket. On back of the pic I would write this is your snack for today..mom. It worked, now that he's 11 he no longer needs that. Best of Luck!
Could you make flash cards or picture cards of the snack and put it in his pocket? He'd have the power to see what he has at anytime. Visuals can be important.
We have done something similar with my son we took one of the foam boards that u can buy at Walmart and printed out picture and words an extra to put on the foam board and laminated the other and he does his day pretty much according to the foam board..... We have even found it to be help for getting his winter items on in the morning and anything that a set schedule would help with such as bedtime then he does not have to think about each item until he does it ..... It seems no matter what though he becomes fixated on certain things
My daughter is 13 and she does the same thing. I have her daily schedule written down in her Ipad so she can look at it throughout the day. I also have her breakfast, lunch, supper and snacks written down for the week so she can look it up as often as she wants. Makes life sooooo much easier. Good luck.
OK, if someone can help me please do, My son does this also..but his doctors say not to encourage it..don't do cards and foam boards, stuff like that cause it is only going to make him more likely to keep doing it.his doc says that I baby my son when I cater to his OCD behavior. I have come unglued by this and don't know what to do.His doc says we need to work on getting him able to deal and cope with REAL life, and as he gets older , he is 11, he can't be carrying around cards and stuff to calm him, I am so confused!
get a new dr...it's not catering to them, it's keeping sane!
i agree... I believe that you need to get a new doctor...I do not have a child with aspergers but I do have family members with other disorders and I believe that you should do for them what you can to make their life easier. If a picture or schedule will help them get through their day better give it to them. Life is hard enough without the added stress. Its your job to protect and nurture your child, thats not babying him. Its simply being a good mother.
OK you're all going to yell at me but my Aspie is also ADHD and I put him on Ritalin and while it's in effect, he has few to no OCD issues. When it wears off, they're back, but with it he can function without perseverative thoughts. He's in a normal first grade and doing great - as long as he has his "focus dust".
Hallie, whatever works for you. All the stims made my son's ocd much worse. We found Abilify helped tremendously!
I gave my son 3 baseball cards. He gives me a card when he asks a question. Once he is our of cards he cannot ask anymore about that topic. We weaned the cards and now it's a reminder" you already know the answer, think about it"
Without knowing the function for this behaviour, something you can try is to allow him to ask the question once and answer. If he asks again, remind him that he has already asked and this time have him write the question and answer down in a notebook. Then, anytime he asks again - tell him to check his notebook for the answer.
It is important to find out what the function of his behaviour is because he could be asking these questions repeatedly for various reasons ie: he wants attention, he likes the way the question sounds, he like what his snack is and is worried that he will not get it, etc
This is so familiar, I didn't realise that his asking the same thing over and over was a ritual but looking at it now it's so obvious... I haven't got any answers but thank you for posting this.
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