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Asperger’s Tantrums & Meltdowns: Prevention, Intervention, Post-Meltdown Management

I'm so frustrated! My 4 year old son was diagnosed with high-functioning autism last year, and for the year prior to that I was dealing with his overwhelming emotions. Now it seems like even if he's happy, he's too much for me. When he's not happy, he throws things, slams doors, screams, climbs furniture etc. So basically I have the same behaviors no matter how he's feeling. I fear the thought of going out anywhere with him. I have 4 other children, and he has drained everything I have inside me. I just don't know how to cope with him anymore. He is aggressive to the baby… I have to fight with him to change his clothes. I just feel like I've done all I can and now I'm back at square one again without the ability to do it again. Any advice on how to get through to him and calm him some?

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9 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Asperger's Helper said...

Wow ok I also am the mother of a son with Aspergers and all of the tips here will work in time, but my son was the same way and it does get you to your last nerve. He cant control his emotions but he can his behavior. My son did not calm down until I learned to stay calm and see him for who he really is. A beautiful child who needs extra attention. I also changed his diet, no more red or blue dyes and a huge reduction in his sugar intake and it does work. Finally he is now on Vyvanse and it works to calm him and help him to focus better. Lisa

Anonymous said...

Hang on ! The storm will calm, get some support for yourself. I would love to chat wiht some people on here with Aspergers kids! Im on FB!

Anonymous said...

My son is 11 and has worked with his therapist to "calm" himself and breathe. Good luck to you!

Anonymous said...

I'm hearing you... I find my 7yo is overwelmed with any emotion. He's either too happy or too angry. He stills climbs furniture and I have an issue with him climbing into my pantry for food etc... it does get easier as they get older, once your little one starts going to therapies he & yourself will learn breathing techniques to calm down. It's tough I know but you will start seeing tiny differences in his emotions once he can gets therapy. Your little one is tiny yet, it's hard for him to understand when he starts to get over-excited etc. My boy now can sort of understand & I remind him when his caveman is coming through.

Anonymous said...

Oh I remember those days my son is now 7 yrs old he was diagnosed at age 4 and there were times I thought I was losing my mind but things are better now cause of therapy and medication, he was also diagnosed with adhd and explosive disorder. Just hold on things will get better :)

Anonymous said...

Those were the worst years for me. My son is now eight and was just diagnosed a few months ago. Now it all makes sense. Please hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Even though there are still many struggles, it's much more manageable because you will be able to talk things through and get more help. It is so hard to see the good while in the storm but soon you will look back in awe of how you made it through. I was so overwhelmed but now I feel empowed.

Unknown said...

Hi, I've been having trouble with my son since he was about 3. He is 9 now. I'm trying to find out what the problem is. He has always had issues with his temper and behaviour and learning. Now he is getting bigger I'm finding it harder to deal with. He has major anger outbursts. It seems what he doesn't get his way or he thinks someone's not doing something the right way. I have an 8 year old aswell and I have to physically stand between 9 yr old so he doesn't hurt 8yr old. I'm a short person and not very strong. So it gets a bit intense. I guess I'm just looking for advise or opinions on what I could do. I have had him at mental health but they say there's no mental illness. But seriously his behaviour is not what I know to be normal.

mich said...

My aspie is 14 and cusses and talks inappropriate 99 percent of the time. What do you suggest? How much can I ignore it? I have 4 kids. So they should all live in chaos because of his impulse?

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...