Asperger’s Children: Fighting & Biting

All people have aggressive feelings. As adults, we learn how to control these feelings. Aspergers kids, however, are often physically aggressive …they hit, bite and scratch others. These behaviors are fairly common and often appear by the youngster's first birthday. Moms & dads often struggle over how to manage their youngster's aggressive and/or destructive behavior.

While some biting can occur during normal development, persistent biting can be a sign that a youngster has emotional or behavioral problems. While many Aspergers kids occasionally fight with or hit others, frequent and/or severe physical aggression may mean that a youngster is having serious emotional or behavioral problems that require professional evaluation and intervention. Persistent fighting or biting when a youngster is in daycare or preschool can be a serious problem. At this age, Aspergers kids have much more contact with peers and are expected to be able to make friends and get along.

BITING—

Many Aspergers kids start aggressive biting between one and three years of age. Biting can be a way for a youngster to test his or her power or to get attention. Some Aspergers kids bite because they are unhappy, anxious or jealous. Sometimes biting may result from excessive or harsh discipline or exposure to physical violence. Moms & dads should remember that Aspergers kids who are teething might also bite. Biting is the most common reason Aspergers kids get expelled from day care.

What to do:

• Say "no", immediately, in a calm but firm and disapproving tone.
• Do NOT bite a youngster to show how biting feels. This teaches the youngster aggressive behavior.
• If biting persists, try a negative consequence. For example, do not hold or play with a youngster for five minutes after he or she bites.
• For a toddler (1-2 years), firmly hold the youngster, or put the youngster down.
• For a young youngster (2-3 years) say, "biting is not okay because it hurts people."

If these techniques or interventions are not effective, moms & dads should talk to their family physician.

FIGHTING AND HITTING—

Toddlers and preschool age Aspergers kids often fight over toys. Sometimes Aspergers kids are unintentionally rewarded for aggressive behavior. For example, one youngster may push another youngster down and take away a toy. If the youngster cries and walks away, the aggressive youngster feels successful since he or she got the toy. It is important to identify whether this pattern is occurring in Aspergers kids who are aggressive.

What to do:

• Do NOT hit a youngster if he or she is hitting others. This teaches the youngster to use aggressive behavior.
• For a toddler (1-2 years) say, "No hitting. Hitting hurts."
• For a young youngster (2-3 years) say, "I know you are angry, but don't hit. Hitting hurts." This begins to teach empathy to your youngster.
• If a youngster hits another youngster, immediately separate the Aspergers kids. Then try to comfort and attend to the other youngster.
• It is more effective to intervene before a youngster starts hitting. For example, intervene as soon as you see the youngster is very frustrated or getting upset.
• Moms & dads should not ignore or down play fighting between siblings.
• When young Aspergers kids fight a lot, supervise them more closely.

When hitting or fighting is frequent, it may be a sign that a youngster has other problems. For example, he or she may be sad or upset, have problems controlling anger, have witnessed violence or may have been the victim of abuse at day care, school, or home.

Research has shown that Aspergers kids who are physically aggressive at a younger age are more likely to continue this behavior when they are older. Studies have also shown that Aspergers kids who are repeatedly exposed to violence and aggression from TV, videos and movies act more aggressively. If a young youngster has a persistent problem with fighting and biting or aggressive behavior, moms & dads should seek professional assistance from a youngster and adolescent psychiatrist or other mental health professional who specializes in the evaluation and treatment of behavior problems in very young Aspergers kids.

My Aspergers Child