HELP FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH ASPERGER'S & HIGH-FUNCTIONING AUTISM

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorders

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Aspergers & Aggression

"My son is very aggressive and lacks any type of impulse control. He cannot be left alone with his siblings. Does anyone have any recommendations? I know he does not want to do these things, because when we talk about it he says he loves his sister, etc, but he hurts her all the time. My poor daughter has to put up with his aggressions on a daily basis. I can't watch him every second he's awake. I also can't put either child in a protective bubble or send my son to his room and leave him there all day. I really don't know what to do with him and I'm not a big advocate of drug therapy. He's so young and I don't want to change his personality, only his behavior. Will this end soon? Will he gain control at 6, 7, or 8? I love my little boy, but I'm sad that he's so physical. He's starting to internalize his behavior and now said to me this morning that he's a bad boy even though no one tells him that, not us, or his teacher. I worry about his self-esteem as he grows older. We praise him when he's good, but he gets a ton of negative feedback. Don't do this, don't do that, etc. 'You need to go to your room for hitting your sister', I constantly feel like I have to micromanage him. But he knows he's in time out/ or his room a lot and I do that so he can calm down or to protect his siblings. Any advice would be helpful."


Aggressive behavior in the child with Aspergers occurs for a reason, just as it would with any other child. Inappropriate behavior, whether mild or severe, occurs in order to:
  • avoid something
  • because of pain
  • get something
  • to fulfill a sensory need

The first step in reducing or eliminating this behavior is to determine the need that it fulfills.

The second step is to teach them a replacement behavior (i.e., communicate what they want or don’t want). It may even involve using some of their obsessive or self-stimulating behaviors as a replacement. This is because it would be far less intrusive to others than aggressive behaviors, but still serve the same purpose.

This process takes time and initially, and depending on the behavior, you may not have time. If the behavior is severe, then you need to remove the child from whatever situation they are in at the time. Simply insisting that they stop the behavior and participate in whatever is occurring will not benefit the child or you, unless you remove them from the situation first.

Maintaining their routine will go a long way towards reducing the need for inappropriate or aggressive behavior in the first place.

A behavior analyst should be able to help you. He/she will work with you and your family to try to hash out the functions of the behaviors. Once that is determined you son will be taught replacement behaviors that he can use to meet the needs that his concerning behaviors are filling for him.

Try doing a web search for 'behavior analysis' or 'applied behavior analysis' in your state. That would be a good place to start.

Aspergers is one of the diagnostic subcategories of pervasive developmental disorders. It is characterized by a defect in reciprocal social interaction, lack of empathy for others and poor non-verbal communication. Antisocial acts, including aggression and sexual offense, are not considered to be uncommon in this disorder, but these symptoms are secondary to the diagnosis of Aspergers as a manifestation of difficulties with the "theory of mind" of others.

The usual treatment for Aspergers aggression includes:

• Art Therapy
• Behavioral contracts
• Cognitive behavior-modification
• Drama Therapy
• Language Therapy
• Music Therapy
• Occupational Therapy
• Osteopathy
• Physiotherapy
• Play Therapy
• Scripts and autopsies
• Social stories
• Speech Therapy
• Structuring the environment for social success
• Traditional behavioral consequences

The Parenting Aspergers Resource Guide: A Complete Resource Guide For Parents Who Have Children Diagnosed With Aspergers Syndrome

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My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the Aspergers child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually. Thus, the best treatment for Aspergers children and teens is, without a doubt, “social skills training.”

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Aspergers Children

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and the Asperger’s child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Aspergers Teens

Although Aspergers is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager with Aspergers are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the Aspergers teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Aspergers Children “Block-Out” Their Emotions

Parenting children with Aspergers and HFA can be a daunting task. In layman’s terms, Aspergers is a developmental disability that affects the way children develop and understand the world around them, and is directly linked to their senses and sensory processing. This means they often use certain behaviors to block out their emotions or response to pain.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children With Aspergers Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with Aspergers face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Living with an Aspergers Spouse/Partner

Research reveals that the divorce rate for people with Aspergers is around 80%. Why so high!? The answer may be found in how the symptoms of Aspergers affect intimate relationships. People with Aspergers often find it difficult to understand others and express themselves. They may seem to lose interest in people over time, appear aloof, and are often mistaken as self-centered, vain individuals.

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Online Parent Coaching for Parents of Asperger's Children

If you’re the parent of a child with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism, you know it can be a struggle from time to time. Your child may be experiencing: obsessive routines; problems coping in social situations; intense tantrums and meltdowns; over-sensitivity to sounds, tastes, smells and sights; preoccupation with one subject of interest; and being overwhelmed by even the smallest of changes. The hardest part is you feel like you’ll never actually get to know your child and how he/she views the world.

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