Asperger Kids & Tantrums

Kids with Aspergers the world over share a common trait – meltdowns – otherwise known as a tantrum, a birko, a go-off or spack-attack.

The visible symptoms of meltdown are as varied as the Aspergers kids themselves, but every parent is able to describe their youngster’s meltdown behavior in intricate detail.

Meltdowns can be short lived, or last as long as two hours. They can be as infrequent as once a month (often coinciding with the lunar cycle/full moon) or occur as frequently as 4-6 times a day.

Whatever the frequency and duration, an Aspergers youngster having a meltdown is difficult for parents/caretakers/teachers to deal with.

Meltdown in Aspergers kids is triggered by a response to their environment. These responses can be caused by avoidance desire, anxiety or sensory overload. Triggers need to be recognized and identified.

So how do we deal with a meltdown? What should you do when meltdown occurs?

An adults’ (parents/caretakers/teachers) behavior can influence a meltdown’s duration, so always check your response first:

1. Slow down
2. Quiet down
3. Prioritize safety
4. Calm down
5. Re-establish self-control in the youngster, then deal with the issue

1. Slow down. Meltdown often occurs at the most inconvenient time e.g. rushing out the door to school. The extra pressure the fear of being late creates, adds to the stress of the situation. (Aspergers kids respond to referred mood and will pick up on your stress. This stress is then added to their own.) So forget the clock and focus on the situation. Make sure the significant people in your life know your priorities here. Let your boss know that your Aspergers youngster has meltdowns that have the capacity to bring life to a standstill, and you may be late. Let your youngster’s teacher know that if your youngster is late due to a meltdown that it’s unavoidable, and your youngster shouldn’t be reprimanded for it.

2. Keep your speaking voice quiet and your tone neutrally pleasant. Don’t speak unnecessarily. Less is best. Don’t be “baited” into an argument. (Often Aspergers kids seem to “want” to fight. They know how to “push your buttons”, so don’t be side-tracked from the meltdown issue).

3. Prioritize safety when your Aspergers youngster is having a meltdown. Understand that they can be extremely impulsive and irrational at this time. Don’t presume that the safety rules they know will be utilized while they’re melting down. Just because your Aspergers youngster knows not to go near the street when they are calm doesn’t mean they won’t run straight into 4 lanes of traffic when they are having a meltdown. If your Aspergers youngster starts melting down when you’re driving in the car, pull over and stop. If your youngster tends to “flee” when melting down, don’t chase them. This just adds more danger to the situation. Tail them at a safe distance (maintain visual contact) if necessary.

4. Take 3 slow, deep breaths, and rather than dreading the meltdown that’s about to take place, assure yourself that you’ve survived meltdowns 1000 times before and will do so this time too.

5. When your Aspergers youngster is calm and has regained self-control, he will often be exhausted. Keep that in mind as you work through the meltdown issue. Reinforce to your youngster the appropriate way to express their needs/requests.

Remember that all behavior is a form of communication, so try to work out the ‘message’ your Aspergers youngster is trying to convey with their meltdown, rather than responding and reacting to the behavior displayed.

My Aspergers Child