How can I help my son to better manage his frustrations?

Question

How can I help my son to better manage his frustrations?

Answer

Children with Asperger’s are easily frustrated. For the,
living in the world can be confusing and they need to have
someone there to translate and explain every day events to
them. One of the best things you can do with your child with
Asperger’s is to help him learn to identify his feelings and
emotions, and then teach him how to cope with those same
feelings.

Tony Attwood has developed a cognitive behaviour therapy
program which he outlines in his book, “Exploring Feelings:
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to Manage Anger (Anxiety).”

The program is designed to keep the interest of the children
while encouraging the cognitive control of emotions. The
program was designed as an anger management program for
children with Asperger’s, so the needs of children with
Asperger’s are addressed in the program.

The program is designed to help children identify feelings
and emotions and then discusses appropriate responses to
those feelings and emotions. The program does not have to be
implemented by someone with a background in cognitive
behavior therapy. A teacher or a parent could use this
program effectively.

Remember that your child with Asperger’s is also a child,
not simply a child with Asperger’s. All children get
frustrated and all children need to learn to manage those
frustrations. All parents deal with teaching their children
appropriate ways to behave and appropriate ways to deal with
anger and frustration. For a child with Asperger’s, the
challenge is to communicate effectively and to try not to
get frustrated yourself.

If your child is a teenager, remember that all teenagers
struggle with testing limits, learning to make their own
decisions, and learning to function independently. All
teenagers struggle with making and keeping friends, with
finding success at school, and even with the development of
romantic relationships. Your child may be more or less
frustrated than a neuro-typical child, but he may not have
the skills to handle those frustrations.

Set appropriate limits while trying to give your child some
leeway to function independently. That is a difficult task
for any parent. Allow your child the ability to express his
frustrations in appropriate ways and ensure that he
understands what is appropriate. As a parent, you can model
and teach appropriate ways of coping. Often, a program such
as Tony Attwood’s can help ensure that you find an effective
way to communicate these skills to your child.

The Parenting Aspergers Resource Guide: A Complete
Resource Guide For Parents Who Have Children Diagnosed
With Aspergers Syndrome.