Question
Is it common for a child with Asperger’s to have a split
personality? My son is a really good kid at school, but
then a complete monster at home. Is this normal?
Answer
Asperger’s Syndrome is known to manifest itself differently
with different children. Also, children with Asperger’s
Syndrome may react differently to various situations
depending on their individual personalities. Your child
may feel more comfortable with the familiar surroundings at
home, and feel freer to act out more at home than in public,
where he is surrounded by strangers and in a less familiar
environment. The stress of school may be relieved by a
“meltdown” or other difficult behaviour at home. This is a
common occurrence.
Dr. Tony Attwood, a clinical psychologist, is a world
renowned expert on Asperger’s Syndrome. Here is what he
says about split personality and Asperger’s. “Quite a few
children with Asperger’s Syndrome are Dr. Jeckylls and Mr.
Hydes. They are saints at school, but they soak up the
anguish, then squeeze it out on their brothers and sisters
when they get home. We do not know why this happens…”
Asperger’s is treated in two ways, and both of them help
manage the anxiety that accompanies this illness. The
first is cognitive psychology, and the second is
prescription medication. The first thing you need to do in
order to help your son is to find a psychiatrist or
psychologist who specializes in Asperger’s Syndrome. This
specialist will be able to help your son. He or she will
help you and your son discover the reasons behind his
behavioral changes.
In addition, a specialist will help you do two things:
1. Modify the situation or the environment in which he
lives to reduce difficult behaviour;
2. Create interventions for handling your son’s anxiety.
Please don’t be intimidated. Changes don’t have to be
complex or unmanageable. The changes you need to make might
just involve changing lighting to a lower level, adjusting
sound levels in your home, or creating a new schedule.
If initial interventions do not help, a psychiatrist can
prescribe medications which will provide your son with the
help he needs. It’s important to note that psychotropic
(mood-altering) drugs like Zoloft or Prozac can help
children, but they can also cause serious problems for
children. If the psychiatrist prescribes medication, ask
about dosage levels and, more importantly, side effects.
Just about all drugs have side effects, and it’s important
for you to know about them so you know what to expect. You
know your son better than anyone else; ask yourself if he
can handle side effects like nausea, hypersensitivity, or
prolonged sleepiness. These are all possible, depending on
the medication prescribed.
The Parenting Aspergers Resource Guide: A Complete Resource Guide For Parents Who Have Children Diagnosed With Aspergers Syndrome.
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Parenting Defiant Aspergers Teens
Although Aspergers is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager with Aspergers are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the Aspergers teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.
The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing a child with a neurological disorder. Violent rages, self-injury, isolation-seeking tendencies and communication problems that arise due to auditory and sensory issues are just some of the behaviors that parents of teens with Aspergers will have to learn to control.
Parents need to come up with a consistent disciplinary plan ahead of time, and then present a united front and continually review their strategies for potential changes and improvements as the Aspergers teen develops and matures.
Click here to read the full article…
The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing a child with a neurological disorder. Violent rages, self-injury, isolation-seeking tendencies and communication problems that arise due to auditory and sensory issues are just some of the behaviors that parents of teens with Aspergers will have to learn to control.
Parents need to come up with a consistent disciplinary plan ahead of time, and then present a united front and continually review their strategies for potential changes and improvements as the Aspergers teen develops and matures.
Click here to read the full article…
Aspergers Children “Block-Out” Their Emotions
Parenting children with Aspergers can be a daunting task. In layman’s terms, Aspergers is a developmental disability that affects the way children develop and understand the world around them, and is directly linked to their senses and sensory processing. This means they often use certain behaviors to block out their emotions or response to pain.
Although they may vary slightly from person to person, children with Aspergers tend to have similar symptoms, the main ones being:
=> A need to know when everything is happening in order not to feel completely overwhelmed
=> A rigid insistence on routine (where any change can cause an emotional and physiological meltdown)
=> Difficulties with social functioning, particularly in the rough and tumble of a school environment
=> Obsessive interests, with a focus on one subject to the exclusion of all others
=> Sensory issues, where they are oversensitive to bright light, loud sounds and unpleasant smells
=> Social isolation and struggles to make friends due to a lack of empathy, and an inability to pick up on or understand social graces and cues (such as stopping talking and allowing others to speak)
Click here to read the full article…
Although they may vary slightly from person to person, children with Aspergers tend to have similar symptoms, the main ones being:
=> A need to know when everything is happening in order not to feel completely overwhelmed
=> A rigid insistence on routine (where any change can cause an emotional and physiological meltdown)
=> Difficulties with social functioning, particularly in the rough and tumble of a school environment
=> Obsessive interests, with a focus on one subject to the exclusion of all others
=> Sensory issues, where they are oversensitive to bright light, loud sounds and unpleasant smells
=> Social isolation and struggles to make friends due to a lack of empathy, and an inability to pick up on or understand social graces and cues (such as stopping talking and allowing others to speak)
Click here to read the full article…
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8 comments:
My oldest son is like this. I say he assimulates (sp) at school then when he hits the door at home all bets are off and he's able to breathe. Which sadly for us means it's on and it's ugly somedays!
Erin O'Brien School is structured... maybe he can cut loose at home..
Yesterday at 1:30pm · Like
Rami Serhan Maybe he is intimidated by bigger kids at school and he is reacting at home where everything is safe and friendly. Try and get to the bottom of his school troubles as a means to calm him down.
Yesterday at 1:35pm · Like
Catherine Young my daughter was like that, she had to be "normal" while at school which caused her to stress out & once she was home she was able to be herself & release the stress. In her words " Mommy, you love me no matter what even if I break something"
Yesterday at 1:39pm via Facebook Mobile · Like · 1 person
Lisa Zahn He's also probably over-stimulated and all the tension from being so good all day is really stressing him out so he's acting out in his safe place. My son was the same way, so we send him to school in the mornings and homeschool him in the afternoons to give him more down time. It's a good balance for us but doesn't work for everyone of course.
Yesterday at 1:42pm · Like · 1 person
Mitze Thornhill My son has always been this way. They work so hard to hold it all together at school by the time they get home in their 'safe haven' they melt down. I'd rather it be at home than at school or elsewhere though. However, it does wear you down after awhile. I dread 3:30pm in the afternoon on school days! Hang in there.
23 hours ago · Like
Gemma Pritchard Im havin the same trouble as soon as he leaves school it starts but they wont diagones him cus he ok in school 4 2hrs even thow his behaviour so extreme at ome we got a surport worker health vistor social worker but im gettin no were
23 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Alaine Powell We have similar. Oldest has diagnosis already. Middle child we are almost certain is an aspie too. But school not interested as he is a high achiever so not having detramental effect on his school work. Has recent family suituation which ment change in routine he "kicked off " worse than the oldest. Going again to gp as want referal for him. Hope they listen this time.
23 hours ago · Like
Gemma Pritchard Its drivin me mad my son is a very high achiever 4 a 3 year old so im not gettin much luck i havnt been to gp iv gone threw health visitor do u think i sud go to gp wud i get any further?
23 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Tracy Thomas My son as passive aspergers he's really good in school when he gets home meltdown the problem when they r good at school aspergers never picked up by the teachers my sons wasn't it was a very good freind who noticed my sons traits
23 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Tracy Thomas Gemma ask ur gp for a common assessment framework also a ref to camhs
23 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Tracy Thomas Gemma have u read tony attwood aspergers my consultant told me to read it
23 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Sandra Hall
Gemma i really feel 4 u. my son is now 8 but was only diagnosed a yr ago. took me yrs of fighting, lots of exclusions from school, evn on a half day programme. they blamed my parenting!! we had all the services wiv no help 2. he used 2 c an...See More
23 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Tracy Thomas Gemma ask the school to ref ur son to autisum team they need to know how he is at home he may be passive like my son the school never picked it up now he's 11 he's showing all the signs the signs in adam can't mix has to have rotine noise has an imaginary freind
23 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Tracy Thomas Gemma they can't be bothered go to ur dr ask to be ref to aut consultant keep a diary over the next few months
23 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Gemma Pritchard Thank u so much 4 ur help im in a hole an cant seem to get out il get to gp monday thank u its so frustratin 4 me i need help
23 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Gemma Pritchard Iv kept a diary over 2 months they sent me on parentin courses which did not help at all they tell things to do wid him but makin is behaviour worse an he cant cope wid it bless
23 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Sandra Hall Thats exactly wot i had 2 do, i was fightin the system 4 4yrs, evn believd it was my 'parenting' at 1 point but my son is now in yr 3 at school n this has been his 1st full yr being full time in mainstream wivout a single exclusion!! its not jus about the diagnosis n puttin a label on your child but gettin them and u the help an support that u so need an deserve!! shudnt hav 2 b a fight :-( xx
23 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Gemma Pritchard No it sudnt b a fight im fed up of tryin to prove it as if i wantd this 4 my son i just want him to b happy an settled
23 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Sandra Hall Thats wot any good parent wants 4 their child n u wil get their in the end, i did and it was worth it. just dont giv in and keep going. if u need sum1 2 talk 2 then feel free 2 add me as a friend on fb, know how tough it is n 2 hav a friendly ear who knows wot u r goin thru makes al the diffrnce :-) xx
22 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Danielle Tolzmann Maybe at school there's a routine, predictability & structure and maybe there's less of that at home? It was like that for us, but once we established routines for at home and stuck to them, he was better. Stay positive and good luck!
22 hours ago · Like
Dee Grenfell
My son is 7, and for the whole of his short life I have had a huge gut feeling telling me my son is not like his siblings or other kids. I've known in my heart he has something different. He is great at school but look out at the end of the day, worst is if there was a issue. I'm now on the road to getting answers for him as he knows he is different too :-( it is hard work and I will keep fighting for him as I'm his voice. Just hard when he is not tricking all the boxes when he has assessments and is ok at school.
17 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like
Barb Andrews My grandson who is 9 is the opposite. He acts up at school and isn't to bad at home. Structure is the key, I have found. It's a never ending battle. Now that school is out, he is acting up at home again.
7 hours ago · Like
Vicki Flynn My son is 11 and i have only just found out that he has Aspergers, i have always known he was a bit different and have been struggling with his bad moods and difficultness at home. I also hate it how some family members think it is your parenting that causes it! It breaks my heart, as all you want is for them to be happy and settled. I am glad i found this site.
18 hours ago · Like · 1 person
Jessica Swift I think a lot of times our kids work so hard to hold it all together when they are out and about, and then let loose at home where they feel more safe. All the anxiety and frustration tends to get bottled up and then let out again at home.
14 hours ago · Like
Rebecca Kopplin Beyer yes. very normal.
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