10.7.09
Aspergers and Impairment in Communication
Inappropriate Questions/Comments—
The uttering of inappropriate comments or questions can be a serious problem. Sometimes the remarks are inappropriate to the setting. Sometimes the comments are sexually inappropriate. In any case, the remarks or questions do not take into account the impact on the other individual involved. For example, Conner was attending a funeral. Oblivious to the impact his question would have on the grieving friends and relatives, he wondered out loud about the process of bodies decomposing. In another example, Mike found himself attracted to a young woman and proceeded to stare at her. When she asked him what he wanted, he told her in sexually explicit details what he was staring at and the specific nature of his interest.
Lack of Symbolic Play—
For most kids, play is a crucial area of communication and development. Kids with Aspergers Syndrome generally display problems with imaginative or symbolic play. In autism, there is sometimes a lack of symbolic play. Some autistic kids do play imaginatively for brief periods of time, but unlike their typically developing peers, they usually cannot sustain and elaborate on the play. There may be rather elaborate imaginative play, especially in females with Aspergers. According to Tony Attwood, "Females with Aspergers Syndrome can create imaginary friends and elaborate doll play which superficially resembles the play of other females but there can be several qualitative differences. They often lack reciprocity in their natural social play and can be too controlling when playing with their peers... While the special interest in collecting and playing with dolls can be assumed to be an age appropriate activity and not indicative of psychopathology, the dominance and intensity of the interest is unusual. Playing with and talking to imaginary friends and dolls can also continue into the teenage years when the individual would have been expected to mature beyond such play."
Some clinicians consider play of paramount importance to the development of the youngster. Stanley Greenspan, M.D. has developed a treatment technique which he terms “Floor Time.” In this approach Greenspan utilizes play to “open and close circles of communication”. For example, when one individual makes a communicative overture, the expectation is that the other individual will respond to this overture in a reciprocal way. He believes play is critical not only for the development of social interaction, but also for the development of logical, flexible and creative thinking.
Literal Thinking—
In addition to problems with imaginative play, individuals with Aspergers Syndrome have a tendency to think in a literal way. Moms & dads and teachers are sometimes astonished to learn how a youngster with Aspergers Syndrome has misunderstood a commonly used term or expression. Idioms are particularly problematic. Individuals with Aspergers Syndrome often have great difficulty with metaphors and with information that is implied but not stated directly. On occasion, the youngster’s misperception becomes apparent, as in the following examples.
Edward was told by the staff in his group home that wake-up on weekends was 10:00 a.m. Staff were surprised to see that he was lying in bed awake for hours on week-end mornings. When asked about it, he replied that he was not allowed to get out of bed until 10:00, rather than understanding that he could stay in bed as late as 10:00 if he chose to do so.
Similarly, the same youngster was told by his parent to put on his winter jacket. He found two winter jackets hanging on the banister, but told his mother he did not know which one was his. To her surprise, he said he could not tell which one to wear because they both had a name-tag with his name on it. In fact, he had been wearing one of the jackets all winter; he had outgrown the other one, but his mother had failed to remove his name from inside.
"Theory of Mind"—
In addition to the problems in communication mentioned above, individuals with Aspergers Syndrome may have trouble with a concept referred to as "theory of mind". Briefly, this notion, first described by Simon Baron-Cohen, refers to difficulty in perspective taking. An example of this difficulty is that individuals with Aspergers may assume other people have the same knowledge as they do, even when there is no basis for this assumption.
For example, Nicholas was very interested in movies, frequently talking about the latest movies he had seen. He would discuss the content of movies with anyone who would listen, not recognizing that they could not possibly know what he was referring to, since they had not seen the movie under discussion.
A related matter is the inability many with Aspergers Syndrome have to recognize how other people are perceiving them. This difficulty contributes to a lack of shame or embarrassment about their behavior.
The uttering of inappropriate comments or questions can be a serious problem. Sometimes the remarks are inappropriate to the setting. Sometimes the comments are sexually inappropriate. In any case, the remarks or questions do not take into account the impact on the other individual involved. For example, Conner was attending a funeral. Oblivious to the impact his question would have on the grieving friends and relatives, he wondered out loud about the process of bodies decomposing. In another example, Mike found himself attracted to a young woman and proceeded to stare at her. When she asked him what he wanted, he told her in sexually explicit details what he was staring at and the specific nature of his interest.
Lack of Symbolic Play—
For most kids, play is a crucial area of communication and development. Kids with Aspergers Syndrome generally display problems with imaginative or symbolic play. In autism, there is sometimes a lack of symbolic play. Some autistic kids do play imaginatively for brief periods of time, but unlike their typically developing peers, they usually cannot sustain and elaborate on the play. There may be rather elaborate imaginative play, especially in females with Aspergers. According to Tony Attwood, "Females with Aspergers Syndrome can create imaginary friends and elaborate doll play which superficially resembles the play of other females but there can be several qualitative differences. They often lack reciprocity in their natural social play and can be too controlling when playing with their peers... While the special interest in collecting and playing with dolls can be assumed to be an age appropriate activity and not indicative of psychopathology, the dominance and intensity of the interest is unusual. Playing with and talking to imaginary friends and dolls can also continue into the teenage years when the individual would have been expected to mature beyond such play."
Some clinicians consider play of paramount importance to the development of the youngster. Stanley Greenspan, M.D. has developed a treatment technique which he terms “Floor Time.” In this approach Greenspan utilizes play to “open and close circles of communication”. For example, when one individual makes a communicative overture, the expectation is that the other individual will respond to this overture in a reciprocal way. He believes play is critical not only for the development of social interaction, but also for the development of logical, flexible and creative thinking.
Literal Thinking—
In addition to problems with imaginative play, individuals with Aspergers Syndrome have a tendency to think in a literal way. Moms & dads and teachers are sometimes astonished to learn how a youngster with Aspergers Syndrome has misunderstood a commonly used term or expression. Idioms are particularly problematic. Individuals with Aspergers Syndrome often have great difficulty with metaphors and with information that is implied but not stated directly. On occasion, the youngster’s misperception becomes apparent, as in the following examples.
Edward was told by the staff in his group home that wake-up on weekends was 10:00 a.m. Staff were surprised to see that he was lying in bed awake for hours on week-end mornings. When asked about it, he replied that he was not allowed to get out of bed until 10:00, rather than understanding that he could stay in bed as late as 10:00 if he chose to do so.
Similarly, the same youngster was told by his parent to put on his winter jacket. He found two winter jackets hanging on the banister, but told his mother he did not know which one was his. To her surprise, he said he could not tell which one to wear because they both had a name-tag with his name on it. In fact, he had been wearing one of the jackets all winter; he had outgrown the other one, but his mother had failed to remove his name from inside.
"Theory of Mind"—
In addition to the problems in communication mentioned above, individuals with Aspergers Syndrome may have trouble with a concept referred to as "theory of mind". Briefly, this notion, first described by Simon Baron-Cohen, refers to difficulty in perspective taking. An example of this difficulty is that individuals with Aspergers may assume other people have the same knowledge as they do, even when there is no basis for this assumption.
For example, Nicholas was very interested in movies, frequently talking about the latest movies he had seen. He would discuss the content of movies with anyone who would listen, not recognizing that they could not possibly know what he was referring to, since they had not seen the movie under discussion.
A related matter is the inability many with Aspergers Syndrome have to recognize how other people are perceiving them. This difficulty contributes to a lack of shame or embarrassment about their behavior.
The Parenting Aspergers Resource Guide: A Complete
Resource Guide For Parents Who Have Children Diagnosed
With Aspergers Syndrome.
Asperger’s and Impairment in Social Interaction
1. Difficulty Using Non-Verbal Behaviors in Social Interaction—
There are several broad categories of difficulties falling under the general heading of impairment in social interaction. First of all, people with Aspergers Syndrome have difficulty using non-verbal behaviors in social interaction.
Eye contact may be impaired, meaning that the youngster may not look at others upon greeting or during conversations and may not respond when others try to catch his/her eye.
It is easy to see why others might inaccurately perceive the youngster to be rude or not paying attention.
Social smiling may be impaired. In this case, people with Aspergers Syndrome may not smile back at someone smiling at them, may not smile during greeting or may not smile in response to something someone else said.
Facial expressions used to communicate may be odd. Sometimes the expressions are limited or flat, sometimes they are inappropriate and at other times are exaggerated.
Again, it is easy to see why others might misread what the youngster with Aspergers Syndrome is thinking or feeling. For example, Jake, a rather sweet and kind youngster, broke out into laughter when his brother injured himself. Clearly, his response was inappropriate to the situation and would not be expected from a youngster his age. Similarly, Joe, upon learning that a family friend would be arriving for a visit, let out an excited cry, as if this were the most wonderful and extraordinary event that could possibly happen.
Body postures regulating social interaction may be affected. A very common example of this difficulty is that those with Aspergers Syndrome may not know how to judge social distance and may stand too close.
2. Difficulty Forming Peer Relationships—
The second category of difficulties falling under the heading of impairment in social interaction is difficulty forming peer relationships.
Some kids with Aspergers Syndrome seem to lack interest in others and may prefer solitary activities. Marty, age 6, was very skilled at building with blocks and Legos. However, when another youngster would approach to try to join his play, he would become extremely angry, not wanting his play to be disturbed.
Inappropriate overtures towards others or inappropriate responses to the approaches of other people are common occurrences. Jim, age 5, was fascinated with his next-door neighbor, George, a toddler of 18 months. Unfortunately, his way of showing his interest in George was hitting him over the head. Another youngster with Aspergers Syndrome, Benny, was somewhat more sophisticated in his technique: his way of showing his interest was throwing his arms around another youngster in a bear hug.
Difficulty forming friendships is a common fact of life for kids with Aspergers Syndrome. Interestingly, what these kids mean by friendship may be decidedly different from what their typically developing peers mean. For example, Nicholas repeatedly referred to another youngster in his school, Tom, as his best friend, although no one had observed the two boys talking or playing together. When asked what makes them friends, Nicholas replied that Tom said hello to him.
Impairment in group play with peers is another common difficulty. Unfortunately, most of the team sports so common to school-age kids are terribly difficult for kids with Aspergers Syndrome. Their troubles with social interaction and peer relationships make organized group sports a real challenge. Oftentimes, sports in which individual achievement is stressed (e.g., track, archery, fishing) are more successful.
3. Difficulty in Sharing Enjoyment—
The third area of impairment in this section is difficulty sharing enjoyment. Young kids with Aspergers Syndrome are less likely than their typical peers to share objects, such as food or toys, with others. People with Aspergers Syndrome are not as likely to show other people items in which they are interested. Lastly, they generally make more limited efforts to share feelings of enjoyment with others.
4. Lack of Social or Emotional Reciprocity—
The fourth kind of social interaction impairment is a lack of social or emotional reciprocity. This area includes such difficulties as inappropriate or limited responses to the approaches of others, as well as limited offers of comfort shown towards others.
For example, Max enjoyed going to the supermarket with his mother. He liked to help prepare the shopping list, easily located the items on the shelves, loved to sample the free food often available, and calculated the correct change while in the check-out line. However, when the cashier spoke to him and tried to make small talk, he generally did not look at her, did not answer her questions, and sometimes made a remark completely off the topic, but one that was of interest to him.
Similarly, Ben was walking outside with his mother on a cold winter day, when his mother slipped and fell on the ice. Ben clearly was aware something was not quite right, as he immediately began to scream. What he did not do was ask his mother if she were okay, and offer to help her, as a typical youngster his age probably would have done.
There are several broad categories of difficulties falling under the general heading of impairment in social interaction. First of all, people with Aspergers Syndrome have difficulty using non-verbal behaviors in social interaction.
Eye contact may be impaired, meaning that the youngster may not look at others upon greeting or during conversations and may not respond when others try to catch his/her eye.
It is easy to see why others might inaccurately perceive the youngster to be rude or not paying attention.
Social smiling may be impaired. In this case, people with Aspergers Syndrome may not smile back at someone smiling at them, may not smile during greeting or may not smile in response to something someone else said.
Facial expressions used to communicate may be odd. Sometimes the expressions are limited or flat, sometimes they are inappropriate and at other times are exaggerated.
Again, it is easy to see why others might misread what the youngster with Aspergers Syndrome is thinking or feeling. For example, Jake, a rather sweet and kind youngster, broke out into laughter when his brother injured himself. Clearly, his response was inappropriate to the situation and would not be expected from a youngster his age. Similarly, Joe, upon learning that a family friend would be arriving for a visit, let out an excited cry, as if this were the most wonderful and extraordinary event that could possibly happen.
Body postures regulating social interaction may be affected. A very common example of this difficulty is that those with Aspergers Syndrome may not know how to judge social distance and may stand too close.
2. Difficulty Forming Peer Relationships—
The second category of difficulties falling under the heading of impairment in social interaction is difficulty forming peer relationships.
Some kids with Aspergers Syndrome seem to lack interest in others and may prefer solitary activities. Marty, age 6, was very skilled at building with blocks and Legos. However, when another youngster would approach to try to join his play, he would become extremely angry, not wanting his play to be disturbed.
Inappropriate overtures towards others or inappropriate responses to the approaches of other people are common occurrences. Jim, age 5, was fascinated with his next-door neighbor, George, a toddler of 18 months. Unfortunately, his way of showing his interest in George was hitting him over the head. Another youngster with Aspergers Syndrome, Benny, was somewhat more sophisticated in his technique: his way of showing his interest was throwing his arms around another youngster in a bear hug.
Difficulty forming friendships is a common fact of life for kids with Aspergers Syndrome. Interestingly, what these kids mean by friendship may be decidedly different from what their typically developing peers mean. For example, Nicholas repeatedly referred to another youngster in his school, Tom, as his best friend, although no one had observed the two boys talking or playing together. When asked what makes them friends, Nicholas replied that Tom said hello to him.
Impairment in group play with peers is another common difficulty. Unfortunately, most of the team sports so common to school-age kids are terribly difficult for kids with Aspergers Syndrome. Their troubles with social interaction and peer relationships make organized group sports a real challenge. Oftentimes, sports in which individual achievement is stressed (e.g., track, archery, fishing) are more successful.
3. Difficulty in Sharing Enjoyment—
The third area of impairment in this section is difficulty sharing enjoyment. Young kids with Aspergers Syndrome are less likely than their typical peers to share objects, such as food or toys, with others. People with Aspergers Syndrome are not as likely to show other people items in which they are interested. Lastly, they generally make more limited efforts to share feelings of enjoyment with others.
4. Lack of Social or Emotional Reciprocity—
The fourth kind of social interaction impairment is a lack of social or emotional reciprocity. This area includes such difficulties as inappropriate or limited responses to the approaches of others, as well as limited offers of comfort shown towards others.
For example, Max enjoyed going to the supermarket with his mother. He liked to help prepare the shopping list, easily located the items on the shelves, loved to sample the free food often available, and calculated the correct change while in the check-out line. However, when the cashier spoke to him and tried to make small talk, he generally did not look at her, did not answer her questions, and sometimes made a remark completely off the topic, but one that was of interest to him.
Similarly, Ben was walking outside with his mother on a cold winter day, when his mother slipped and fell on the ice. Ben clearly was aware something was not quite right, as he immediately began to scream. What he did not do was ask his mother if she were okay, and offer to help her, as a typical youngster his age probably would have done.
The Parenting Aspergers Resource Guide: A Complete
Resource Guide For Parents Who Have Children Diagnosed
With Aspergers Syndrome.
What is Aspergers?
In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV (DSM IV) there is a category entitled “Pervasive Developmental Disorders.” Aspergers is one of the five diagnoses under this umbrella heading. Although not stated in the DSM IV, many clinicians use the term “Autism Spectrum Disorder” (ASD) to describe a continuum of related disorders, including autism, Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDD NOS), and Aspergers. Most clinicians feel Aspergers is at the high end of a rather long continuum. It is important to bear in mind that while individuals on the spectrum share certain characteristics, they may look very different from one another. Therefore, the diagnosis of ASD is considered to be a heterogeneous one.
What difficulties do people with ASD share?
There are three main categories of difficulties people on the spectrum have in common. These difficulties are:
1. Restricted and/or repetitive patterns of behavior, interests and activities
2. Impairment is social interaction
3. Impairment in communication
What is the difference between Aspergers and autism?
At this point in time, there does not seem to be a consensus regarding the distinction between Aspergers and autism. There does seem to be agreement that people with Aspergers, like those with autism, share difficulties in the three areas mentioned above. There is less agreement about what distinguishes one diagnosis from the other. According to the definition used in the DSM IV, in Aspergers, there can be no delay in the development of language. In other words, although language is disordered, words, phrases, and sentences came in at the expected time. However, research suggests almost 50 per cent of kids with Aspergers are late in their development of speech, but they are usually talking fluently by the age of five. The definition of Aspergers in the DSM IV does not cover enough people, since many, if not most of these kids had delays in language development.
Another distinction has to do with cognition. In autism, there is an enormous range of intellectual functioning. In Aspergers, cognition is normal and often gifted in certain areas.
Lastly, some clinicians believe that the difficulties with social relatedness are more severely impaired in autism than in Aspergers.
What difficulties do people with ASD share?
There are three main categories of difficulties people on the spectrum have in common. These difficulties are:
1. Restricted and/or repetitive patterns of behavior, interests and activities
2. Impairment is social interaction
3. Impairment in communication
What is the difference between Aspergers and autism?
At this point in time, there does not seem to be a consensus regarding the distinction between Aspergers and autism. There does seem to be agreement that people with Aspergers, like those with autism, share difficulties in the three areas mentioned above. There is less agreement about what distinguishes one diagnosis from the other. According to the definition used in the DSM IV, in Aspergers, there can be no delay in the development of language. In other words, although language is disordered, words, phrases, and sentences came in at the expected time. However, research suggests almost 50 per cent of kids with Aspergers are late in their development of speech, but they are usually talking fluently by the age of five. The definition of Aspergers in the DSM IV does not cover enough people, since many, if not most of these kids had delays in language development.
Another distinction has to do with cognition. In autism, there is an enormous range of intellectual functioning. In Aspergers, cognition is normal and often gifted in certain areas.
Lastly, some clinicians believe that the difficulties with social relatedness are more severely impaired in autism than in Aspergers.
The Parenting Aspergers Resource Guide: A Complete
Resource Guide For Parents Who Have Children Diagnosed
With Aspergers Syndrome.
9.7.09
Asperger Kids & Tantrums
Kids with Aspergers the world over share a common trait – meltdowns – otherwise known as a tantrum, a birko, a go-off or spack-attack.
The visible symptoms of meltdown are as varied as the Aspergers kids themselves, but every parent is able to describe their youngster’s meltdown behavior in intricate detail.
Meltdowns can be short lived, or last as long as two hours. They can be as infrequent as once a month (often coinciding with the lunar cycle/full moon) or occur as frequently as 4-6 times a day.
Whatever the frequency and duration, an Aspergers youngster having a meltdown is difficult for parents/caretakers/teachers to deal with.
Meltdown in Aspergers kids is triggered by a response to their environment. These responses can be caused by avoidance desire, anxiety or sensory overload. Triggers need to be recognized and identified.
So how do we deal with a meltdown? What should you do when meltdown occurs?
An adults’ (parents/caretakers/teachers) behavior can influence a meltdown’s duration, so always check your response first:
1. Slow down
2. Quiet down
3. Prioritize safety
4. Calm down
5. Re-establish self-control in the youngster, then deal with the issue
1. Slow down. Meltdown often occurs at the most inconvenient time e.g. rushing out the door to school. The extra pressure the fear of being late creates, adds to the stress of the situation. (Aspergers kids respond to referred mood and will pick up on your stress. This stress is then added to their own.) So forget the clock and focus on the situation. Make sure the significant people in your life know your priorities here. Let your boss know that your Aspergers youngster has meltdowns that have the capacity to bring life to a standstill, and you may be late. Let your youngster’s teacher know that if your youngster is late due to a meltdown that it’s unavoidable, and your youngster shouldn’t be reprimanded for it.
2. Keep your speaking voice quiet and your tone neutrally pleasant. Don’t speak unnecessarily. Less is best. Don’t be “baited” into an argument. (Often Aspergers kids seem to “want” to fight. They know how to “push your buttons”, so don’t be side-tracked from the meltdown issue).
3. Prioritize safety when your Aspergers youngster is having a meltdown. Understand that they can be extremely impulsive and irrational at this time. Don’t presume that the safety rules they know will be utilized while they’re melting down. Just because your Aspergers youngster knows not to go near the street when they are calm doesn’t mean they won’t run straight into 4 lanes of traffic when they are having a meltdown. If your Aspergers youngster starts melting down when you’re driving in the car, pull over and stop. If your youngster tends to “flee” when melting down, don’t chase them. This just adds more danger to the situation. Tail them at a safe distance (maintain visual contact) if necessary.
4. Take 3 slow, deep breaths, and rather than dreading the meltdown that’s about to take place, assure yourself that you’ve survived meltdowns 1000 times before and will do so this time too.
5. When your Aspergers youngster is calm and has regained self-control, he will often be exhausted. Keep that in mind as you work through the meltdown issue. Reinforce to your youngster the appropriate way to express their needs/requests.
Remember that all behavior is a form of communication, so try to work out the ‘message’ your Aspergers youngster is trying to convey with their meltdown, rather than responding and reacting to the behavior displayed.
My Aspergers Child
The visible symptoms of meltdown are as varied as the Aspergers kids themselves, but every parent is able to describe their youngster’s meltdown behavior in intricate detail.
Meltdowns can be short lived, or last as long as two hours. They can be as infrequent as once a month (often coinciding with the lunar cycle/full moon) or occur as frequently as 4-6 times a day.
Whatever the frequency and duration, an Aspergers youngster having a meltdown is difficult for parents/caretakers/teachers to deal with.
Meltdown in Aspergers kids is triggered by a response to their environment. These responses can be caused by avoidance desire, anxiety or sensory overload. Triggers need to be recognized and identified.
So how do we deal with a meltdown? What should you do when meltdown occurs?
An adults’ (parents/caretakers/teachers) behavior can influence a meltdown’s duration, so always check your response first:
1. Slow down
2. Quiet down
3. Prioritize safety
4. Calm down
5. Re-establish self-control in the youngster, then deal with the issue
1. Slow down. Meltdown often occurs at the most inconvenient time e.g. rushing out the door to school. The extra pressure the fear of being late creates, adds to the stress of the situation. (Aspergers kids respond to referred mood and will pick up on your stress. This stress is then added to their own.) So forget the clock and focus on the situation. Make sure the significant people in your life know your priorities here. Let your boss know that your Aspergers youngster has meltdowns that have the capacity to bring life to a standstill, and you may be late. Let your youngster’s teacher know that if your youngster is late due to a meltdown that it’s unavoidable, and your youngster shouldn’t be reprimanded for it.
2. Keep your speaking voice quiet and your tone neutrally pleasant. Don’t speak unnecessarily. Less is best. Don’t be “baited” into an argument. (Often Aspergers kids seem to “want” to fight. They know how to “push your buttons”, so don’t be side-tracked from the meltdown issue).
3. Prioritize safety when your Aspergers youngster is having a meltdown. Understand that they can be extremely impulsive and irrational at this time. Don’t presume that the safety rules they know will be utilized while they’re melting down. Just because your Aspergers youngster knows not to go near the street when they are calm doesn’t mean they won’t run straight into 4 lanes of traffic when they are having a meltdown. If your Aspergers youngster starts melting down when you’re driving in the car, pull over and stop. If your youngster tends to “flee” when melting down, don’t chase them. This just adds more danger to the situation. Tail them at a safe distance (maintain visual contact) if necessary.
4. Take 3 slow, deep breaths, and rather than dreading the meltdown that’s about to take place, assure yourself that you’ve survived meltdowns 1000 times before and will do so this time too.
5. When your Aspergers youngster is calm and has regained self-control, he will often be exhausted. Keep that in mind as you work through the meltdown issue. Reinforce to your youngster the appropriate way to express their needs/requests.
Remember that all behavior is a form of communication, so try to work out the ‘message’ your Aspergers youngster is trying to convey with their meltdown, rather than responding and reacting to the behavior displayed.
My Aspergers Child
What is a Meltdown?
A meltdown is a condition where the Aspergers youngster temporarily loses control due to emotional responses to environmental factors.
It generally appears that the Aspergers youngster has lost control over a single and specific issue however this is very rarely the case. Usually, the problem is the accumulation of a number of irritations which could span a fairly long period of time, particularly given the strong long-term memory facilities of the Aspergers youngster.
Why the Problems Seem Hidden—
Aspergers kids don't tend to give a lot of clues that they are very irritated…
• Often Aspergers child-grievances are aired as part of their normal conversation and may even be interpreted by NTs as part of their standard whine.
• Some things which annoy Aspergers kids would not be considered annoying to neurotypicals -- this makes NT's less likely to pick up on a potential problem.
• Their facial expressions very often will not convey the irritation.
• Their vocal tones will often remain flat even when they are fairly annoyed.
What happens during a Meltdown—
The meltdown appears to most people as a tantrum or dummy spit. There are marked differences between adults and kids.
Kids tend to flop onto the ground and shout, scream or cry. Quite often, they will display violent behavior such as hitting or kicking.
In adults, due to social pressures, violent behavior in public is less common. Shouting outbursts or emotional displays however can occur. More often though, it leads to depression and the Aspergers youngster simply retreats into themselves and abandons social contact.
Some Aspergers kids describe the meltdown as a red or grey band across the eyes. I've certainly experienced this. There is a loss of control and a feeling of being a powerless observer outside the body. This can be dangerous as the Aspergers youngster may strike out, particularly if the instigator is nearby or if they are taunted during a meltdown.
Depression—
Sometimes, depression is the only outward visible sign of a meltdown. At other times, depression results when the Aspergers youngster leaves their meltdown state and confronts the results of the meltdown. The depression is a result of guilt over abusive, shouting or violent behavior. I will cover depression in a different post.
Dealing with Meltdowns/tantrums in Kids—
There's not a great deal of that you can do when a meltdown occurs in a very young child. Probably the very best thing that you can do at their youngest ages is to train yourself to recognize a meltdown before it happens and take steps to avoid it.
Example: Aspergers kids are quite possessive about their food and my youngest will sometimes decide that he does not want his meat to be cut up for him. When this happens, taking his plate from him and cutting his meat could cause a tantrum. The best way to deal with this is to avoid touching it for the first part of the meal until he starts to want your involvement. When this occurs, instead of taking his plate from him, it is more effective to lean over and help him to cut the first piece. Once he has cut the first piece with help, he will often allow the remaining pieces to be cut for him though I would still recommend that his plate not be moved.
Once the youngster reaches an age where they can understand, probably around seven years give or take a few. You can work on explaining the situation. One way you could do this would be to discreetly videotape a meltdown and allow them to watch it at a later date. You could then discuss the incident, explain why it isn't socially acceptable and give them some alternatives.
When I was little, I remember that the single best motivation for keeping control was once, when my mother called me in after play and talked about the day. In particular, she highlighted an incident where I had fallen over and hurt myself. She said, "Did you see how your friend started to go home as soon as you fell over because they were scared that you were going to have a tantrum". She went on to say, "When you got up and laughed, they were so happy that they came racing back. I'm proud of you for not losing your temper".
I carried this with me for years later and would always strive to contain myself. I wouldn't always succeed but at least I was trying.
Meltdowns/tantrums and Punishment—
One of the most important things to realize is that Meltdowns/tantrums are part of the Aspergers condition. They can't avoid them; merely try to reduce the damage. Punishing an Aspergers youngster for a meltdown is like punishing someone for swearing when they hit their thumb with a hammer. It won't do any good whatsoever and can only serve to increase the distance between you and your youngster.
In addition, meltdowns/tantrums aren't wholly caused by the current scenario but are usually the result of an overwhelming number of other issues. The one which "causes" the meltdown is the "straw that breaks the camel’s back". Unless you're a mind reader, you won't necessarily know what the other factors are and your Aspergers youngster may not be able to fully communicate the problem.
Meltdowns/tantrums are part and parcel of Aspergers - they are NOT the result of poor parenting.
My Aspergers Child
It generally appears that the Aspergers youngster has lost control over a single and specific issue however this is very rarely the case. Usually, the problem is the accumulation of a number of irritations which could span a fairly long period of time, particularly given the strong long-term memory facilities of the Aspergers youngster.
Why the Problems Seem Hidden—
Aspergers kids don't tend to give a lot of clues that they are very irritated…
• Often Aspergers child-grievances are aired as part of their normal conversation and may even be interpreted by NTs as part of their standard whine.
• Some things which annoy Aspergers kids would not be considered annoying to neurotypicals -- this makes NT's less likely to pick up on a potential problem.
• Their facial expressions very often will not convey the irritation.
• Their vocal tones will often remain flat even when they are fairly annoyed.
What happens during a Meltdown—
The meltdown appears to most people as a tantrum or dummy spit. There are marked differences between adults and kids.
Kids tend to flop onto the ground and shout, scream or cry. Quite often, they will display violent behavior such as hitting or kicking.
In adults, due to social pressures, violent behavior in public is less common. Shouting outbursts or emotional displays however can occur. More often though, it leads to depression and the Aspergers youngster simply retreats into themselves and abandons social contact.
Some Aspergers kids describe the meltdown as a red or grey band across the eyes. I've certainly experienced this. There is a loss of control and a feeling of being a powerless observer outside the body. This can be dangerous as the Aspergers youngster may strike out, particularly if the instigator is nearby or if they are taunted during a meltdown.
Depression—
Sometimes, depression is the only outward visible sign of a meltdown. At other times, depression results when the Aspergers youngster leaves their meltdown state and confronts the results of the meltdown. The depression is a result of guilt over abusive, shouting or violent behavior. I will cover depression in a different post.
Dealing with Meltdowns/tantrums in Kids—
There's not a great deal of that you can do when a meltdown occurs in a very young child. Probably the very best thing that you can do at their youngest ages is to train yourself to recognize a meltdown before it happens and take steps to avoid it.
Example: Aspergers kids are quite possessive about their food and my youngest will sometimes decide that he does not want his meat to be cut up for him. When this happens, taking his plate from him and cutting his meat could cause a tantrum. The best way to deal with this is to avoid touching it for the first part of the meal until he starts to want your involvement. When this occurs, instead of taking his plate from him, it is more effective to lean over and help him to cut the first piece. Once he has cut the first piece with help, he will often allow the remaining pieces to be cut for him though I would still recommend that his plate not be moved.
Once the youngster reaches an age where they can understand, probably around seven years give or take a few. You can work on explaining the situation. One way you could do this would be to discreetly videotape a meltdown and allow them to watch it at a later date. You could then discuss the incident, explain why it isn't socially acceptable and give them some alternatives.
When I was little, I remember that the single best motivation for keeping control was once, when my mother called me in after play and talked about the day. In particular, she highlighted an incident where I had fallen over and hurt myself. She said, "Did you see how your friend started to go home as soon as you fell over because they were scared that you were going to have a tantrum". She went on to say, "When you got up and laughed, they were so happy that they came racing back. I'm proud of you for not losing your temper".
I carried this with me for years later and would always strive to contain myself. I wouldn't always succeed but at least I was trying.
Meltdowns/tantrums and Punishment—
One of the most important things to realize is that Meltdowns/tantrums are part of the Aspergers condition. They can't avoid them; merely try to reduce the damage. Punishing an Aspergers youngster for a meltdown is like punishing someone for swearing when they hit their thumb with a hammer. It won't do any good whatsoever and can only serve to increase the distance between you and your youngster.
In addition, meltdowns/tantrums aren't wholly caused by the current scenario but are usually the result of an overwhelming number of other issues. The one which "causes" the meltdown is the "straw that breaks the camel’s back". Unless you're a mind reader, you won't necessarily know what the other factors are and your Aspergers youngster may not be able to fully communicate the problem.
Meltdowns/tantrums are part and parcel of Aspergers - they are NOT the result of poor parenting.
My Aspergers Child
Aspergers Kids & Homework
Kids with Aspergers Need Routine and Clarity
Homework can be easier for kids with ASPERGERS when provided with structured, daily routines. Moms & dads can also work with teachers to clarify new or complex assignments.
Asperger syndrome is a form of highly functioning autism that disrupts a youngster’s ability to recognize social cues, thereby causing social awkwardness. Other characteristics of autism may also be present, such as a lowered tolerance for new situations or sudden transitions, lack of organizational skills, inconsistent energy levels, and high distractibility. All of these can present challenges when attempting to complete homework.
Luckily, there are some basic strategies that moms & dads can undertake to help prevent those dreaded evening meltdowns. The first step is to observe the youngster and see what hinders her from completing her work. This is paramount to planning homework sessions. During these observations, jot down answers to the following about the youngster:
1. Does she fatigue quickly?
2. Is she easily distracted by noise or activity?
3. What frustrates or upsets her?
4. What is her best time of day?
Establish Consistent Time and Place—
After observing the youngster for a few days, establish a consistent time for homework, preferably when she is well fed and at her best. The amount of time she spends on homework nightly will vary by grade level. When homework length begins to increase, she may stay more focused with short breaks. Incorporate these into the schedule and make sure she has enough time to complete assignments without rushing.
It is beneficial to have a special homework location away from the TV, radio, or other distractions. Kids with ASPERGERS can also be frustrated by clutter, so make sure that the workspace is organized and that all necessary materials for homework are available and easy to find.
Break Down Large Assignments—
Some homework assignments can be overwhelming for kids with ASPERGERS. Moms & dads will sometimes need to work closely with their youngster to help her get started. Providing one or two examples may be all that is required in some instances. For more complicated work, moms & dads may want to demonstrate how to break it down into smaller steps. This added attention may be needed for each unfamiliar assignment.
Eliminate Vagueness—
Sometimes assignments may be unclear, even to moms & dads. If this happens often, it would be best for moms & dads to communicate with the teacher about their youngster’s needs. Receiving more detailed instructions for upcoming assignments will go a long way to ensuring that homework gets done correctly and without tantrums. The key is to get the information ahead of time so that the youngster with ASPERGERS can be prepared, not surprised with an unknown.
Incorporate Interests—
A unique quality of kids with Aspergers is that they can develop abnormally intense interests in one or two subjects. Common ones may include weather, sports statistics, or computers. Using a little ingenuity, moms & dads can persuade the youngster to do seemingly unrelated work by integrating her interests.
Kids fascinated by computers may be encouraged to complete writing assignments using an online dictionary, for instance. Kids who have nightly reading requirements could be allowed to choose books that are related to weather, dinosaurs, or other science topics of interest. If the youngster seems to dislike math, create word problems for practicing addition, subtraction, and multiplication using subjects such as baseball or cars.
Kids with ASPERGERS possess unique skills and can grow to be highly productive, thriving members of society. But, like everyone, they face their own set of challenges along the way. Homework may be one of those challenges. With careful planning however, moms & dads can make this necessary and important chore less worrisome and help to pave their youngster’s way to success.
Homework can be easier for kids with ASPERGERS when provided with structured, daily routines. Moms & dads can also work with teachers to clarify new or complex assignments.
Asperger syndrome is a form of highly functioning autism that disrupts a youngster’s ability to recognize social cues, thereby causing social awkwardness. Other characteristics of autism may also be present, such as a lowered tolerance for new situations or sudden transitions, lack of organizational skills, inconsistent energy levels, and high distractibility. All of these can present challenges when attempting to complete homework.
Luckily, there are some basic strategies that moms & dads can undertake to help prevent those dreaded evening meltdowns. The first step is to observe the youngster and see what hinders her from completing her work. This is paramount to planning homework sessions. During these observations, jot down answers to the following about the youngster:
1. Does she fatigue quickly?
2. Is she easily distracted by noise or activity?
3. What frustrates or upsets her?
4. What is her best time of day?
Establish Consistent Time and Place—
After observing the youngster for a few days, establish a consistent time for homework, preferably when she is well fed and at her best. The amount of time she spends on homework nightly will vary by grade level. When homework length begins to increase, she may stay more focused with short breaks. Incorporate these into the schedule and make sure she has enough time to complete assignments without rushing.
It is beneficial to have a special homework location away from the TV, radio, or other distractions. Kids with ASPERGERS can also be frustrated by clutter, so make sure that the workspace is organized and that all necessary materials for homework are available and easy to find.
Break Down Large Assignments—
Some homework assignments can be overwhelming for kids with ASPERGERS. Moms & dads will sometimes need to work closely with their youngster to help her get started. Providing one or two examples may be all that is required in some instances. For more complicated work, moms & dads may want to demonstrate how to break it down into smaller steps. This added attention may be needed for each unfamiliar assignment.
Eliminate Vagueness—
Sometimes assignments may be unclear, even to moms & dads. If this happens often, it would be best for moms & dads to communicate with the teacher about their youngster’s needs. Receiving more detailed instructions for upcoming assignments will go a long way to ensuring that homework gets done correctly and without tantrums. The key is to get the information ahead of time so that the youngster with ASPERGERS can be prepared, not surprised with an unknown.
Incorporate Interests—
A unique quality of kids with Aspergers is that they can develop abnormally intense interests in one or two subjects. Common ones may include weather, sports statistics, or computers. Using a little ingenuity, moms & dads can persuade the youngster to do seemingly unrelated work by integrating her interests.
Kids fascinated by computers may be encouraged to complete writing assignments using an online dictionary, for instance. Kids who have nightly reading requirements could be allowed to choose books that are related to weather, dinosaurs, or other science topics of interest. If the youngster seems to dislike math, create word problems for practicing addition, subtraction, and multiplication using subjects such as baseball or cars.
Kids with ASPERGERS possess unique skills and can grow to be highly productive, thriving members of society. But, like everyone, they face their own set of challenges along the way. Homework may be one of those challenges. With careful planning however, moms & dads can make this necessary and important chore less worrisome and help to pave their youngster’s way to success.
The Parenting Aspergers Resource Guide: A Complete
Resource Guide For Parents Who Have Children Diagnosed
With Aspergers Syndrome.
Meltdowns in Students with Aspergers
Strategies for Teachers to Prevent Emotional Outbursts
Aspergers youngsters need support from teachers when they struggle with behavior issues in school. Here are many helpful strategies that every teacher should know.
Aspergers is a form of high-functioning autism and can co-exist with other disorders such as ADHD, depression, and anxiety. But mostly, ASPERGERS affects a kid’s ability to socialize. ASPERGERS youngsters have difficulty recognizing facial expressions, sarcasm, and teasing, and struggle to adapt to unexpected changes in routine. Their interests tend to be very narrow, and this can limit their capacity to relate to others.
Due to these struggles, kids with ASPERGERS oftentimes experience anger, fear, sadness, and frustration. There are several effective interventions that can be employed in the classroom to help improve an ASPERGERS kid’s learning experience. These can assist the student in feeling more comfortable and decrease anxiety, paving the way for academic achievement.
Make Classroom Rules Clear—
Students with Asperger’s thrive on rules, but will often ignore them when they are vague or not meaningful. Teachers should detail the most important classroom rules and why they exist. A written list prominently displayed, or a handout of the classroom rules can be very helpful.
Minimize Surprises in the Classroom—
Aspergers youngsters on the autism spectrum need structured settings to succeed. They do not like surprises. Things like sudden seating changes or unexpected modifications to the routine could cause anxiety and even meltdowns. Teachers should try to provide ample warnings if there is to be a change of plans. For instance, sending a note home to the moms & dads if a seating change is imminent would be beneficial.
A back up plan can be presented to the class in anticipation of schedule changes. When the Friday schedule that usually includes watching an educational film in the afternoon changes if time is short, the teacher should inform the students ahead of time that they will work on free reading or journaling instead, as an example.
Provide Sensory Support—
Many kids with Aspergers also experience sensory processing issues. Sensitivity to light, sound, touch, taste, and smells can irritate the kid, making him more likely to act out or withdraw. Consult the moms & dads to determine what these sensitivities are. Minimizing classroom chaos, noise, and clutter will be a good start.
If possible, get help from an occupational therapist and try to work sensory breaks into the kid’s school day. Chores such as returning a load of books to the library or even doing a few jumping jacks in the hallway can go a long way in helping the kid realign and get back to learning.
Promote Supportive Friendships—
If it seems appropriate, educate the class about Aspergers. Develop empathy by making students aware of inappropriate words and bullying behaviors. Highlight the kid’s strengths in classroom lessons to enable him to find friends with common interests.
If the student with Asperger’s seems to be struggling with friendships, group him during classroom activities with those that are more kind and empathetic. At recess or lunch, try assigning a classroom buddy who will be supportive and guide the kid through those more chaotic times.
Make a Plan for Emotional Outbursts—
Provide a quiet place for the student who has frequent meltdowns. This may be a trip to the bathroom with a classroom aide, or a visit to the school counselor. A written plan for coping in these periods of high stress is critical for an ASPERGERS student’s success.
Helping kids with Aspergers in the classroom is yet another challenge for today’s overburdened teachers. However, with insightful monitoring, parental and professional guidance, and creative strategies, a love of school and learning can be fostered in kids with ASPERGERS.
My Aspergers Child
Aspergers youngsters need support from teachers when they struggle with behavior issues in school. Here are many helpful strategies that every teacher should know.
Aspergers is a form of high-functioning autism and can co-exist with other disorders such as ADHD, depression, and anxiety. But mostly, ASPERGERS affects a kid’s ability to socialize. ASPERGERS youngsters have difficulty recognizing facial expressions, sarcasm, and teasing, and struggle to adapt to unexpected changes in routine. Their interests tend to be very narrow, and this can limit their capacity to relate to others.
Due to these struggles, kids with ASPERGERS oftentimes experience anger, fear, sadness, and frustration. There are several effective interventions that can be employed in the classroom to help improve an ASPERGERS kid’s learning experience. These can assist the student in feeling more comfortable and decrease anxiety, paving the way for academic achievement.
Make Classroom Rules Clear—
Students with Asperger’s thrive on rules, but will often ignore them when they are vague or not meaningful. Teachers should detail the most important classroom rules and why they exist. A written list prominently displayed, or a handout of the classroom rules can be very helpful.
Minimize Surprises in the Classroom—
Aspergers youngsters on the autism spectrum need structured settings to succeed. They do not like surprises. Things like sudden seating changes or unexpected modifications to the routine could cause anxiety and even meltdowns. Teachers should try to provide ample warnings if there is to be a change of plans. For instance, sending a note home to the moms & dads if a seating change is imminent would be beneficial.
A back up plan can be presented to the class in anticipation of schedule changes. When the Friday schedule that usually includes watching an educational film in the afternoon changes if time is short, the teacher should inform the students ahead of time that they will work on free reading or journaling instead, as an example.
Provide Sensory Support—
Many kids with Aspergers also experience sensory processing issues. Sensitivity to light, sound, touch, taste, and smells can irritate the kid, making him more likely to act out or withdraw. Consult the moms & dads to determine what these sensitivities are. Minimizing classroom chaos, noise, and clutter will be a good start.
If possible, get help from an occupational therapist and try to work sensory breaks into the kid’s school day. Chores such as returning a load of books to the library or even doing a few jumping jacks in the hallway can go a long way in helping the kid realign and get back to learning.
Promote Supportive Friendships—
If it seems appropriate, educate the class about Aspergers. Develop empathy by making students aware of inappropriate words and bullying behaviors. Highlight the kid’s strengths in classroom lessons to enable him to find friends with common interests.
If the student with Asperger’s seems to be struggling with friendships, group him during classroom activities with those that are more kind and empathetic. At recess or lunch, try assigning a classroom buddy who will be supportive and guide the kid through those more chaotic times.
Make a Plan for Emotional Outbursts—
Provide a quiet place for the student who has frequent meltdowns. This may be a trip to the bathroom with a classroom aide, or a visit to the school counselor. A written plan for coping in these periods of high stress is critical for an ASPERGERS student’s success.
Helping kids with Aspergers in the classroom is yet another challenge for today’s overburdened teachers. However, with insightful monitoring, parental and professional guidance, and creative strategies, a love of school and learning can be fostered in kids with ASPERGERS.
My Aspergers Child
8.7.09
Aspergers and Diet
Question
My son only wants specific foods. How do I ensure a healthy diet for him?
Answer
Children with Asperger’s commonly have difficulty when it comes to eating a variety of foods. Textures and smells play a part due to the sensory issues they experience. In addition, having too many choices goes against what is comfortable for these kids. Finding a balance will take work and special accommodation.
Kids with Asperger’s have sensory issues that may prevent him from registering the feelings of hunger. Therefore, you can’t rely on your child’s hunger to motivate him to eat. Eliminating the foods he loves will create a true battle.
When you begin your attempts to alter your child’s diet, do so quietly. The less fuss, the less likely it will become a bigger deal than it already is. And keep trying. Success may come slowly, but the ultimate goal is improving your child’s diet. Every little victory will bring you one step closer to the desired result.
The most common trick to entice your child with Asperger’s to eat is to change the presentation. Altering the form of a food may work. If your child likes the flavor of strawberries, for instance, but cannot handle the texture, you could toss them in the blender with some yogurt and try giving him a strawberry smoothie.
Another trick you can try is the element of disguise. Many vegetables can be pureed and added to favorites without changing the taste of the texture of the food. One example is adding pureed vegetables to meatloaf or spaghetti sauce. The taste is overpowered by the favored food and the puree blends in undetected. This is sneaky, but a great way to meet the goal of a healthy, balanced diet.
Finally, create a meal/snack routine or schedule. This will appeal to your child’s need for order and structure. Eventually you’ll be able to introduce new foods without being sneaky. He’ll know that mealtime is approaching and he will be expected to try the foods you have prepared.
3 comments >>
The Parenting Aspergers Resource Guide: A Complete
Resource Guide For Parents Who Have Children Diagnosed
With Aspergers Syndrome.
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Hi I have a daughter who has aspergers and she is 11 years old. I’m having problems with my in-laws who were brought up old school, spare the rod spoil the child kind of thing. They basically think when she has an outburst or problems with what is served for dinner then i should just spank her or punish her and it will get better. I have downloaded the grandparents guide to aspergers from the oasis website but they are still in the frame of mind that she can be punished out of her behaviors. Any ideas on how to communicate to them that is not the thing top do.
Thanks Shannon
Comment by shannon
Parents of children with ASD’s who only eat specific brands of foods - you may want to think about making your own foods and putting them into containers from branded foods. That way you can change the content of the foods to add extra vitamins etc. This has worked very well with 3 of the families I work with - the parents made their own yoghurts, fish fingers, pizzas, waffles, sausages, burgers and put them into empty branded boxes and containers. The 3 children accepted these new foods without any problems. Its worth a try even though it takes a bit of work to prepare the food in advance and in secret.
Comment by Wendy Goodbarn
My son was the same way. I know my son worked well with a reward system so I integrated the two. Each day, or every other day I would introduce a new food. Let’s say avocado. I would have only two pieces the size of a dime for him to taste. I told him that he needed to try at least one piece and if he didn’t like it he didn’t have to eat the rest. He loves desserts. He helps me pick out an assortment at the grocery store. The reward he received for trying the new food was to pick out his favorite dessert to eat. After about a month of trying new things he picked up at least 5 new things that he liked that I could add to his diet.
Comment by Shirleyanne