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Anxiety-Management: Tips for Parents of Children on the Autism Spectrum

Young people with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s are prone to greater anxiety in their daily lives than their “typical” peers. 

Social interaction, especially with more than one person, inevitably increases anxiety to a point where the child’s coping mechanisms may deteriorate.

Situations in which he or she has to identify, translate, and respond to social and emotional cues – and cope with unexpected noise levels – often result in a meltdown. 

Parents can – and should – teach their “special needs” child traditional relaxation methods using activities to encourage muscle relaxation and breathing exercises as a counter-conditioning technique. But, parents must also consider the circumstances in which their child is particularly prone to anxiety.

Environmental modification can significantly reduce anxiety in kids on the autism spectrum (e.g., having a safe area for periods of solitude to relax or concentrate on schoolwork, minimizing distractions, reducing noise levels, etc.). If the parent recognizes that a particular event is a major cause of anxiety, then it would be helpful to consider whether the source could be avoided (e.g., recommending the temporary suspension of homework).

At school, one option for the HFA youngster who becomes anxious on the playground is to be able to withdraw to the school library, or for the child who is stressed about socializing during the lunch break, to complete a crossword puzzle in a quiet area.

Another source of anxiety for kids on the spectrum is unexpected changes. Thus, they often need advance preparation and time to adjust to the new task or activity.

Cue-controlled relaxation is another useful part of an anxiety-management plan. One strategy is for the child to have an object in his or her pocket that symbolizes (or has been classically conditioned to) elicit feelings of relaxation.

For instance, one girl with HFA was a passionate reader of fiction, her favorite book being The Secret Garden. She kept a key in her pocket to symbolically open the door to the secret garden, a make-believe place where she felt calm and joyful. A couple minutes touching or looking at the key helped her to visualize a scene mentioned in the book and to calm down and reach a more confident state of mind.

Another example was a boy on the autism spectrum who had a special picture in his backpack of a beach scene, which reminded him of the time his family vacationed in Florida and he collected seashells found in the sand. He viewed the picture frequently whenever he was in the throes of a stressful event.




 
 
 
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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

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