40 Tips for Parenting Defiant Teens on the Autism Spectrum
Parenting teenagers is hard enough...right? But throw "Asperger Syndrome" (high-functioning autism) into the equation, and now you really got a mountain to climb. Do not despair!
Married To An Aspie: 25 Tips For Spouses
If you are about to embark on a marriage to someone who has Aspergers (high functioning autism), there are a few things that you may need to know (some good, and some not-so-good, perhaps): 1. Although Aspies (i.e., people with Aspergers) do feel affection towards others, relationships are not a priority for them in the same way that it is for neurotypicals or NTs (i.e., individuals without Aspergers). 2. A relationship with an Aspergers partner may take on more of the characteristics of a business partnership or arrangement. 3. Although he genuinely loves his spouse, the Aspie does not know how to show this in a practical way sometimes. 4. An Aspie is often attracted to someone who shares his interests or passions, and this can form a good basis for their relationship. 5. An Aspie needs time alone. Often the best thing the NT partner can do is give her Aspie the freedom of a few hours alone while she visits friends or goes shopping. 6. An Aspie often has a ...
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15 hours ago
When he has addressed me in anger it scares me so much but I do not let him see it. In one of these episodes he came to my face in a threatening manner. I stood my ground and told him that if he was to strike me or his sister (step sister, my daughter) I would call the police and he would suffer the consequences. He is taller then me and stronger then me. In your years researching Aspergers, when a child challenges with anger and threatening manner what is the percentage that he or she will follow through? Do other parents actually call the police on their children? Would this be the best thing for him? I have no tolerance for violence. He is in therapy but no progress and it has been since last year. It seems he is just going backwards and defiance issues are exploding (no not just puberty) I never wanted to medicate him. I always thought this was a parents and teachers cop out for the hard work to raise and help a child with Aspergers. However, I never thought of possible abuse from him.
His dad also has aspergers (self diagnosed) and is not really a help with discipline because he gets just as angry as he is. Then I have to teach him how to parent. But I love them and want to do what I can to ensure we move forward as a family. I don't know if it's onset of bipolar (he has extreme highs and lows past 6 months) or ODD or all is Aspergers.
What are good long term strategies? How much is part of being a defiant teen and under his own control vs. due to asbergers is sometimes difficult to tell.
He ran away again. This time refused to come home so he was put in protective custody. At which point I threw in the towel. His sister came and took him. The day he went to her. She mentioned that he had this type of Autism. Every time he went to a mental health or hospital I asked them to check for Autism, mental retardation. Nope!!! Now he is at his sister's playing his video games and watching cartoons. Not having any directors like I applied. Is this boy going to be a menace without help.
Due to him constantly leaving food I have cooked for him to go cold, I no longer cook for him. The other night I asked him at around 6pm to come and make himself tea. I asked him twice more. At 11pm ( college holidays) He came from his room expecting to cook. I told him he had missed teatime, so he went without. Had enough of his lack of respect.
That was in the 70s, a hard time to grow up for everyone. I'm 54 now and just recently settled down.
My mother told me to stop faking it. Tried to change my personality. And kept me isolated from the family (6 siblings). They couldn't understand why I got so upset at family gatherings. Labeled me spoiled and ignored me. Sensory overload meltdown.
The other kids are all older. Sometimes there would be spouses with kids. 14 people all talking at once. So I often had a shutdown and went to my room to curl up under a blanket.
Then they would say I didn't want to be in the family.
I was devastated and continue to suffer isolation from my siblings and other issues. Lack of friends, a chaotic work history, self medication.
Pay attention to your child. He may have just had a bad day at school or sees cliques forming and finds himself excluded and hates being different. So he explodes at home.
Is he too defiant to work with a tutor. Can the school provide a dark quiet place of refuge when all the lights, changing classes, other kids acting up are pushing him over the edge?
Just some thoughts that might help
Good luck.