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My Son Was Recently Diagnosed With Aspergers – Now What?!

Even if moms and dads have recognized that their youngster has problems, a definite diagnosis of Aspergers brings intense emotion, sorrow and many questions. Aspergers is on the high functioning end of the autistic spectrum, but still presents many problems in daily life.

Dealing with a Sense of Loss when Aspergers is Diagnosed—

All moms and dads have hopes and dreams for their kids and these begin to form before birth. When a diagnosis of Aspergers is presented, some or all of these aspirations are crushed. After grieving for the loss of dreams, it is important to replace them with new ones. These should be along the lines of helping the youngster fulfill his or her potential. There are many resources available for kids with Aspergers, and it is important to look into these and see what suits the youngster best. In spite of their difficulties, many Aspergers kids are very bright and excel in certain academic areas.

Balancing Family Life and Aspergers—

Kids with Aspergers often have siblings who are unaffected. When a diagnosis is confirmed, moms and dads may turn all their time and energy to helping the affected youngster. It is vital to maintain a balance and ensure that other kids are given undivided attention, and time and space to vent their own hurt and frustration at the diagnosis. As far as is possible and appropriate, include them in what is happening and encourage them to help the Aspergers sibling with practicing social skills, speech and interaction.

Don’t Cast Blame—

No one has positively identified a cause of Aspergers. It is unhelpful for moms and dads to dig into their backgrounds and blame some quirky relative for the diagnosis they have received. Casting blame will not change anything and is generally unjustified. It is far better to accept the diagnosis, work through the initial shock and determine to keep family life as normal as possible while helping the youngster with Aspergers to achieve his or her potential.

A diagnosis of Aspergers can be a hard blow to moms and dads. Dealing with the loss of hopes and dreams is a process, as is learning to balance normal family life with therapies and doctor visits. The important thing is to create new dreams and always look to the future with hope and expectancy.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook


Anonymous said...

found your site on today and really liked it.. i bookmarked it and will be back to check it out some more later

Anonymous said...

Good Afternoon Mark,
I am the parent of a newly-identified Asperger's 15-year-old teen and I just happened to find information about your book on the internet. Reading the site was like looking at our family life these last, long, puzzling 15 years that we have been looking for answers as what to do with our son! I am looking forward to purchasing the book and reading it with my husband as we learn the most positive ways to work with our son!

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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