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List of Symptoms for High-Functioning Autism

"Is there a list of symptoms or traits associated with high functioning autism in children? We currently have suspicions that our 6 y.o. son may be on the autism spectrum and are wondering if we should take the next step and have him assessed."   

Below is a list of common traits among children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's. However, no child will exhibit all of these traits. Also, the degree (i.e., mild to severe) to which any particular trait is experienced will vary from child to child.

Emotions and Sensitivities:   
  1. An emotional incident can determine the mood for the day.
  2. Becomes overwhelmed with too much verbal direction.
  3. Calmed by external stimulation (e.g., soothing sound, brushing, rotating object, constant pressure).
  4. Desires comfort items (e.g., blankets, teddy, rock, string).
  5. Difficulty with loud or sudden sounds.
  6. Emotions can pass very suddenly or are drawn out for a long period of time.
  7. Inappropriate touching of self in public situations.
  8. Intolerance to certain food textures, colors or the way they are presented on the plate (e.g., one food can’t touch another).
  9. Laughs, cries or throws a tantrum for no apparent reason.
  10. May need to be left alone to release tension and frustration.    
  11. Resists change in the environment (e.g., people, places, objects).
  12. Sensitivity or lack of sensitivity to sounds, textures, tastes, smells or light.
  13. Tends to either tune out or break down when being reprimanded.
  14. Unusually high or low pain tolerance.

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook



School-Related Skills:   
  1. Difficulty transitioning from one activity to another in school.   
  2. Difficulty with fine motor activities (e.g., coloring, printing, using scissors, gluing).
  3. Difficulty with reading comprehension (e.g., can quote an answer, but unable to predict, summarize or find symbolism).
  4. Excellent rote memory in some areas.
  5. Exceptionally high skills in some areas and very low in others.
  6. Resistance or inability to follow directions.
  7. Short attention span for most lessons.

Health and Movement:     
  1. Allergies and food sensitivities.
  2. Apparent lack of concern for personal hygiene (e.g., hair, teeth, body odor).
  3. Appearance of hearing problems, but hearing has been checked and is fine.
  4. Constipation.
  5. Difficulty changing from one floor surface to another (e.g., carpet to wood, sidewalk to grass).
  6. Difficulty moving through a space (e.g., bumps into objects or people).
  7. Frequent gas, burping or throwing up.
  8. Incontinence of bowel and/or bladder.
  9. Irregular sleep patterns.
  10. Odd or unnatural posture (e.g., rigid or floppy).
  11. Seizure activity.
  12. Unusual gait.
  13. Walks on toes.
  14. Walks without swinging arms freely.




Social Skills:    
  1. Aversion to answering questions about themselves.
  2. Difficulty maintaining friendships.
  3. Difficulty reading facial expressions and body language.
  4. Difficulty understanding group interactions.
  5. Difficulty understanding jokes, figures of speech or sarcasm.
  6. Difficulty understanding the rules of conversation. 
  7. Does not generally share observations or experiences with others.
  8. Finds it easier to socialize with people that are older or younger, rather than peers of their own age.
  9. Gives spontaneous comments which seem to have no connection to the current conversation.
  10. Makes honest, but inappropriate observations.
  11. Minimal acknowledgement of others.    
  12. Overly trusting or unable to read the motives behinds peoples’ actions.
  13. Prefers to be alone, aloft or overly-friendly.
  14. Resistance to being held or touched.
  15. Responds to social interactions, but does not initiate them.
  16. Seems unable to understand another’s feelings.
  17. Talks excessively about one or two topics (e.g., dinosaurs, movies, etc.).
  18. Tends to get too close when speaking to someone (i.e., lack of personal space).
  19. Unaware of/disinterested in what is going on around them.
  20. Very little or no eye contact.

Behaviors:   
  1. Causes injury to self (e.g., biting, banging head).   
  2. Difficulty attending to some tasks.
  3. Difficulty sensing time (e.g., knowing how long 5 minutes is or 3 days or a month).
  4. Difficulty transferring skills from one area to another.
  5. Difficulty waiting for their turn (e.g., standing in line).
  6. Extreme fear for no apparent reason.
  7. Fascination with rotation. 
  8. Feels the need to fix or rearrange things.
  9. Fine motor skills are developmentally behind peers (e.g., hand writing, tying shoes, using scissors, etc.).
  10. Frustration is expressed in unusual ways.
  11. Gross motor skills are developmentally behind peers (e.g., riding a bike, skating, running).
  12. Inability to perceive potentially dangerous situations.
  13. Many and varied collections.
  14. Obsessions with objects, ideas or desires.
  15. Perfectionism in certain areas.
  16. Play is often repetitive.
  17. Quotes movies or video games.
  18. Ritualistic or compulsive behavior patterns (e.g., sniffing, licking, watching objects fall, flapping arms, spinning, rocking, humming, tapping, sucking, rubbing clothes).
  19. Transitioning from one activity to another is difficult.
  20. Unexpected movements (e.g., running out into the street).
  21. Unusual attachment to objects.
  22. Verbal outbursts.

Linguistic and Language Development:     
  1. Abnormal use of pitch, intonation, rhythm or stress while speaking
  2. Difficulty understanding directional terms (e.g., front, back, before, after).   
  3. Difficulty whispering.
  4. Makes verbal sounds while listening (i.e., echolalia).
  5. May have a very high vocabulary.
  6. Often uses short, incomplete sentences.
  7. Pronouns are often inappropriately used. 
  8. Repeats last words or phrases several times.
  9. Speech is abnormally loud or quiet.
  10. Speech started very early and then stopped for a period of time.
  11. Uses a person’s name excessively when speaking to them.
 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

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Do you need the advice of a professional who specializes in parenting children and teens with Autism Spectrum Disorders?  Sign-up for Online Parent Coaching today.

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73 comments:

Unknown said...

My son was diagnosed with ADHD, OCD and Anxiety last year however I am convinced he has Aspergers. He shows very few signs of ADHD but almost all the hallmarks of Aspergers. My question is, do I need to have him reevaluated? We have made so many adjustments in routine, school and life. I understand him and we work well together to find things that maximize his strengths and navigate his weaknesses. How important is the dx?

Jessica said...

My daughter was diagnosed with the same as your son when she was 6. I accepted it but soon realized she may have anxiety, but she doesn't have ADHD, she's on the honor roll at school, so she completes her work well. However she is 11 now and things keep getting worse. She has several aspergers symptoms. I've been on a wait list with the only specialist in our area for 6 months. She finally gets to go in a few weeks.

Unknown said...

"Quotes movies and/or video games"

... My little brother (who is the one that's autistic) never does that, yet almost all of my not autistic friends do that. :P

So, basically, if you're not boring, you might have a few autism symptoms. Heh. Kay bad joke but still... O_o

@Lisa Curtis, getting him diagnosed is usually only necessary if you need to arrange a specific agreement with his teachers or boss to do something that would not normally be done for his peers. Depending upon what specific arrangements you need, as he finishes school and goes to get a job it get's easier to get the more simple arrangements without a specific diagnosis being necessary. You could get him reevaluated just in case, but it's probably not of dire importance if he already has all of the adjustments and help he needs.

Some of the most important support is not always provided by the psychologists anyways, make sure he knows that there is more than one way to make friends and maintain friendships (and that there is more than one kind of friendship), encourage him to join clubs that match his interests, make sure he has friends/classmates/acquaintances that are not on the autism spectrum, and make sure he meets older (preferably independent) people with Autism as well. My brother says the easiest way to make friends is to do what you do best and people will notice you. He got the class elected award for most talkative at middle school graduation, as well as a scholarly award. :)

Mark White said...

I missed it. My nephew is now 13 and my grandmother who has raised him is in denial. I recall him wanting to go to the football field with me and play "tackle" up until he was about 4 years old. He rocked all the time. He is highly intelligent, but, socially, he has difficulty interacting with others. He was suspended from school twice within 3 weeks and was pulled out of school by my grandmother so that she could home school him. My grandmother is an enabler. I really don't what to do to help my nephew. In 5 years, he will be an adult. I never knew anything about Aspergers or high functioning autism, but I feel guilty for not knowing. It hurts.

Caroline said...

You shouldn't feel guilty. Educate yourself about the disability in order to interact better with your nephew. I recommend Tony Attwood's books. It's never too late and there is always hope.

Amy Jane said...

Out of all the symptoms given my son displays maybe 5. He's 16 so it's difficult to determine if he might have a very mild form of autism or if he's just a lazy, self-absorbed teenager. My son is highly intelligent (especially with Maths), battles to interact with people if he doesn't know them, is not interested in having a girlfriend though he finds it easier to be friends with girls than with boys, is either shut up in his room or in his sister's room (just reading a book next to her or playing Xbox) and will get his younger sister to do things he's too intimidated to do (like go ask a stranger - such as a shop manager - for something). On the other hand, he is quite loving and, at one stage, drove me crazy with continually wanting to be hugged. So, I really don't know. All I know is that my son is definitely different.

Unknown said...

Just read your post and it's relieving to see that other parents are in the same boat as us. My son is 2 and while he is not displaying all of the symptoms you posted, he does display quite a few of them. We have had him in therapy for about 6 months now and his teachers are amazing with him. I know they officially do not diagnose until kids are a bit older, but I'm glad to know that my suspicions weren't me just being paranoid and it was actually something that needed to be addressed.

Unknown said...

Jessica , this is my child. I know tha he is a compassionate and loving young man, but oh m word. I have spent 80,000 dollars in educating my self to help my son and I know he is high functioning aspergers. Where can I find help please?

Unknown said...

please help me be better with him. I come from a past that makes me nearly intolerable control wise and I need help with my son. I have to step aside from my own psychosis to just please God help me with my son. I try to not yell, it affects him so, but sometimes with his inability with control of himself and his emotions, I just suck. I need help. Please advise.

Charlie P. said...

My sister is 16 years old and and believes show almost all of the signs/symptoms of having Aspergers. I am 14 my sister and I were talking to my mother about it to her and she believes the same thing. I was diagnosed at age 10 with A.D.H.D , O.C.D and Selective Mutism but we can't be completely sure I have Aspergers with out being reevaluated. My mother says it is a very long process but I am not sure what to do.

Aaron p. said...

I have a nephew who has High-function Autusim

I just learned this today, and I can definitely see the difference in knowing and NOT knowing. ill always love him no matter what. But I can definitely see the symptoms now that I'm fully aware.

God bless my nephew, and God bless all those going through something simillar. :)

Geddie family said...

Joni Graham I find that sometimes redirecting my child works much better then yelling. Also is I want to know he understood what I was asking or why I'm upset with his action or what ever it maybe I will say eyes here and I make sure he looks at me and also after I say a short sentence I say now what am I asking of you and he repeats it back to me. It's a learning experience and everyday you will learn a new way or idea to help you. I say if I'm really upset you owe me 5 and that means he needs to go to his room or on my bed for 5 mins and then we talk calmly. One thing I have learned is that sometimes they want to tell you something so bad that the brain is moving faster then the mouth so I say I want to understand you slow down and let's think and then talk and if that don't work I will go as far as to say show me what it is I'm not understanding that has him upset and then once he shows me I say oh so you were having trouble getting this to work or that was making you mad and then I'm able to redirect without yelling. I hope the info has helped a little hang in there

Unknown said...

this just described my whole life.....or at least the first 10 years lol, in just one webpage!

Unknown said...

I took my son to get tested after a year of battling with his pediatrician for a referral, and the neurologist said that they dont say aspergers anymore. Either your autistic or not so since my son was verbal and communicates he doesn't have autism. He told me his sensory issues will get better when he starts school and all he needs is speach therapy. Needless to say I left the office discouraged and feeling hopeless.

Unknown said...

I'm 32 and I have HFA the one true thing that helps me is a life coach

james said...

AnnQ: Autism is a spectrum, not a has-it or not-has-it thing. Even if your child doesn't have autism or aspergers, he may have developmental delays that can affect his performance in the school. A few suggestions: Don't give up. If you are in the US, go to your school district office. Looks like your son is a pre-schooler, or younger. The school district should have some office that handles special education for pre-schoolers. Ask them to do an evaluation and write down all your concerns for them. Based on the evaluation results, he may qualify for therapy services. You have to go through the system...its free but takes some time. It worked for my twins. Also, change your son's pediatrician if he's not listening to you. In the end, if indeed it turns out that all he needs is speech therapy, then that's great, treat it as good news. Even if he doesn't qualify for speech through your school district (generally he should be at least 1 year delayed in speech to qualify), you can try getting his private therapy...ask for good therapist names through your school district. Where I live (upstate NY), they cost about $35/half hour, not cheap, but something.

Unknown said...

My son was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD at the age at 5, we were given Vyvanse and moved on, but it became apparent that it easy something more. We had 4 hour fights, he has no friends, he's not sorry for doing something wrong, talks no stop about 1 subject..finally 7 years later, he is diagnosed with Autsim, aspergers.. almost all symptoms fit him.. keep pushing, we had a psychiatrist diagnosed him

Erica Newman said...

My son was recently diagnosed with ADHD anxiety and OCD and recommended for OT due to sensory issues. So I am worried he was misdiagnosed as he exhibits lots of these behaviors and also those of sensory processing disorder. Who would I see to get a second opinion?

Unknown said...

The person most qualified to give a diagnosis is a clinical psychologist. They will do extensive testing and have both you and your child, if able, fill out questionaires. A psychiatrist does not have the same level of training in diagnostics. A medical doctor doesn't normally have enough training to give specialized tests for this. If you can't get cooperation from your insurance to see a clinical psychologist, you may try the school district psychologist or contact a non profit couseling center or mental health organization. Best of luck to you. Don't give up. It's just a matter of knocking on doors til someone will listen to your instincts about your child.

Unknown said...

Omg Ann Q they just told me the same thing today. I have 4yr old twin boys and i took them to a pre evaluation today. The lady told me "oh they speak so they don't have autism because people with autism can't speak." Really??? It sure is mighty funny that i see people with autism that can speak and do many other things but just can't control certain things in life. Its just crazy! What is really bad is they have medicaid and we only have 1 doctor in our whole area (within 5 counties or more) that we can go to. There is about a year wait list. It really sucks and something needs to be done about it. I say we start a campain to get our children the help they need!

Unknown said...

This article is fascinating. My daughter was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome about six months ago; and pretty much everything on the list above describes her... With the exception of pretty much everything in the "Health" section. My daughter is very healthy and barring some pretty odd (and demanding) sleep patterns - normally as a result of her wanting to watch something on the TV or read into the wee small hours - she has no issues with her phsyical heatlh whatsoever.

Rick Walker said...

I always say it's OK to say autistics are failed versions of normal as long as you say that neurotypicals are failed versions of autistics. Here's my short list of symptoms of neurotypicals behavior
-Always thinks that if someone behaves inappropriately, they have bad motives.
-Willingness to turn on those they once loved.
-how they feel about someone or something is just how they feel. It doesn't have to be logical.
-core beliefs are just general principles.
- lack confidence to establish a personal one of a kind world view.
-overly trusting of those in their tribe.
- lockstep reasoning. Able to parrot others and still think they are original.
- comes to gists easily. Can become exhausted quickly by abstract reasoning.
-unable to imagine realities not experienced.
I could, of course, go on

Unknown said...

My son is 10 years old. He has had over 30 referals, and aprox. 5 suspensions for his behavior. He finally has an IEP, but the teacher and principal still treat him like he is just bad behaved. He has been diagnosed with ADD, anxiety, ODD, depression, and interment ant explosive disorder. His couselour says that he is pretty sure it's ASD, but they won't diagnose him yet. He is currently taking risperedone, zoloft, and concerta. The meds seem to be working some what, but he still has his days. When he talks to you he plays with his hair. If his routine isn't the same everyday he is thrown for a loop, if something changes at school he goes crazy. We have told him over and over that if you get upset in the classroom you can't just leave to go to the office, but he does anyway. Trying to get the help for my son that he needs is like pulling teeth. All I can say is if you think your kid has ASD get them checked. A lot of teachers now a days just think kids are disrespectful and rude, and don't really understand. I've fault so hard with the schools about my son. He kept telling me that kids where teasing him, but I didn't believe him. It turns out that it wasn't just the kids, it was the teachers too. It's horrible!!!!. Believe in your kids. If you feel something is wrong there is no harm in getting them checked out.

Unknown said...

Sooner the better. I say this as a male aged 49 just coming to the conclusion of having this, I don't know if I should say blessing or a curse. I have all the traits of this, even though some are not as dominate as when younger. Not sure if grown out of severity, or just curbing, or use to it. 40 years ago, I hadn't heard about autism, or much of anyone. Life can be a struggle, some days I'm a rock star, other days, not so much. social and jobs, relationship skills seem to suffer the most. Seek all paths for help and understanding soon as deemed

Unknown said...

I have a concern my son happens to have alot of these signs but is it true that they are not interested in making friends

Rick Walker said...

"They" is a word to be avoided with aspergers. I remember having an obsession with slot car racing as a child and I needed kids to play with. I have memories (and autistics tend to have accurate memories) of lots of playtime with other kids. Even adult neurotypicals tend to play golf and such to make connections. It's important to remember that aspies make fun friends if they have common interests. Again, I'm generalizing like you did. The thing to remember is that we need connections like "normal " people. We just suck at how to do it or even knowing how.

onlinecash7 said...

Hi I read your post and I am experiencing same with my daughter the school is no help and a lot of critism goes on when my daughter is in the school environment she's been diagnosed with seizures anxiety ADHD and autism spectrum symptoms through IEP team but teachers are very non supportive.

laurel said...

Wow. I'm just learning about aspergers. I was diagnosed as an adult with ADHD, anxiety, some ocd, etc. But reading these symptoms makes me think that this is me! I've been worried about my 13yo daughter being on the spectrum. She was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and I know she suffers extreme anxiety. She is well above average intelligence, very docile and obedient (yet passive aggressive when in disagreement). I don't know if the aspergers fits her as much as she is extremely quiet yet wants friends. She has friends but doesn't seem to really understand social skills and has big problems with empathy. Recently she seems very uncomfortable with her "femaleness". She's been dressing like a boy and wanting to be considered transgender which is a trend that seems to be happening with her friends as well. I believe they are influencing her but I also sympathize with the fact that she's transitioning into a woman and isn't comfortable yet with boys or people seeing her that way. She has never been this way until joining this particular group of friends. Anyway, thank you all for sharing. I'm sorry I have no advice for you at this moment. I'm struggling to save my daughter from suffering permanent damage from the trials of middle school without alienating her. Prayers for all of us.

ASC Healthcare said...

Your child has normal cognitive abilities and has experienced normal language development, but has been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome or High Functioning Autism, and you have asked for help. This is an important turning point in your journey. For some families, this may be the point when, after a long search for answers, you now have a name for something you didn’t know what to call, but you knew existed. Many families report mixed feelings of sadness and relief when their child is diagnosed.

Rick Walker said...

As anyone with aspergers knows, the advantages and disadvantages of this mindset aren't always clear. Become familiar with these strengths and weaknesses so your child, as an adult, can find where best to highly function and how best to feel about the different parts of his personality and character.

Hey, you said...

My daughter was born in 1987, and no one had ever heard of AS then. I knew from the beginning there was a "problem", a unique inner experience; no therapist could perceive it, and two child psychiatrists told me her IQ was too high to test properly and that she was "normal". Extremely intelligent, began using English and eight months, very high grades until she hit junior year in high school (we moved 150 miles from the home we both loved), the hallmarks of brilliance and creativity: AS people can be, and some are, the most intelligent among us. But....with AS can come severe depression at the onset of puberty; and, with AS the co-morbity of complex psychosis is statistically significant. My daughter developed schizophrenia and succumbed to her horror at age 23. NAMI told me "Twenty three is the 'magic age' for Schizophrenia, you are in the for the ride of your lifetime." The information in list of symptoms in this link is vast and not all children will have all symptoms, and not all symptoms means a child has AS. But I can say this: had any mental health professional been able (at the time, when nothing was known about AS) to properly diagnose her, the underlying psychosis MAY NEVER have destroyed her mind. IF you have ANY suspicions, there are major hospitals across the USA who have AS clinics and can properly evaluate your child. How many AS children are in the foster care system? My guess: thousands. Why? Because they require a special sort of parenting, unconditional love, enormous patience. When my daughter began drawing (her skill as an artist was enormous) at age three, and then continuously until her psychosis made it impossible (if you put a piece of paper in front of her, she drew elaborate things on it), I knew that meant something. No one would listen to me.

Roc said...

I'm no professional but I think it's more important to focus on understanding and belong your child as you see their issues than it is to get a certain evaluation to label them. Labels cause nothing but troubles. If your child has a lot of these symptoms and they have been evaluated and they want to name it a million different complexes it's not going to change who they really are and what you know they really need. They need guidance and help not labels. :)

My Life As I Live It said...

I am a teenager and was just diagnosed with Aspergers yesterday.I am high-functioning, though.It was pretty cool to learn that I was highly intelligent and 1 in 1000, but not so cool to learn that I have sensory issues and have a lot of motor ticks and such (although I already knew I had sensory issues and motor ticks, just did not know it was related to Aspergers).When my parents told me I wanted to jump for joy because this has validated me feeling like I was from another planet or just felt I was too different, but it also made me want to cry because I thought other people might mistake this for straight up autism.I am coping though.I have high verbal, lingustic, arts, buisness and writing skills, but I am terrible at math and other complex things.

It's cool to know I am special...but at the same time am afraid that other people may treat me differently than they used to.I was very anti social as a child and quite lucky to have some friendships today...and I'm a little bit afraid of losing them.That's okay though, because I march to the beat of my own drum and it doesn't bother me if people leave me.So, there is no other reason I am commenting on this page, other than to say, that I have Aspergers, and I am coping.

Anonymous said...

A lot of people say that labels are bad but I was SO relieved to find out I had Asperger's. I think labels can be good because suddenly I wasn't a "bad neurotypical," I was an Aspie. It gave me validation. It gave me a community.
I'm 16 and I've always known I was "different" but I didn't come across ASD until last year. My cousin is very, very severely autistic (completely non-verbal and requires constant care) so that was always how I perceived autism, and I was like, "no, I'm not like that." But then I learned that autism is a spectrum, and no two autistic people are the same.
I think I went undiagnosed because I learned how to mimic behaviors and gave off the appearance of just being "anti-social," but it's more than that. I have trouble connecting with people and understanding people. Sure, I can tell when someone is happy, or when someone is sad, or angry. I've learned, over time, how to read basic body language and tone of voice.
But I still struggle with conversation, and with forming meaningful relationships. I didn't have friends until high school. I'm lucky to have friends who are so understanding and supportive. But I'm different, and I'll always be different.
I asked my mom about it and she said that she always suspected I had Asperger's. My dad refused to believe that I have Asperger's, though. It's funny because he shows a lot of symptoms of Asperger's, and we're really alike, so I think he doesn't want to admit that he could potentially have Asperger's.
I think the best thing for parents of autistic children to do is to listen to autistic people. We've lived through this. We can give you advice that a therapist can't. Be patient with your kids, and be accommodating. A lot of great people were autistic or believed to be autistic, so I think we have a lot to offer. It might be tough, since we do have sensory and behavioral issues, but it pays off. :)

Rick Walker said...

Will Graham: Thanks for sharing. Relationships are actually more fulfilling for many aspergers than for many neurotypicals. We share information with friends that actually reflects our sense of self so when we talk with others, we aren't just being with someone and enjoying their presence emotionally, we are actually becoming each other.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry Roxanne but as someone who was diagnosed with ASD later on in life nothing is more important than that label.

Without that label people will not give you that understanding. In fact they will blame you for not fitting in with their social norms you are treated as being the guilty party in any misunderstanding.

That label allows you to seek help catered to your needs. In many countries that label offers you legal protection from discrimination caused by your condition. Most importantly that label forces people to accept that you are an individual with individual needs and that they can't judge you in accordance with their social norms.

Unknown said...

This sounds like me. I don't want the doctors to know. But I have had trouble with language and other things I have a very extensive vocabulary that was far beyond my age. My mom also had it too so yah I am just freak but I am proud.

Unknown said...

Neuropsychologist I recently spoke with says Aspbergers isn't an accepted term in the field anymore. He disagrees with that, because he believes in the spectrum idea of autism and not the "you have it or you don't" concept. I am trying to get a therapist to look at the reasons underlying my daughter's social anxiety and depressions. She scores in the autistic range on the CAST and AQ testing instruments. I get that these aren't diagnostic, but I think they are pretty strong indicators that we need to look beyond presenting symptoms to underlying issues.

Sandros Mum said...

As I read this I have tears in my eyes. I live in Toronto Canada and have been dealing with these issues with my 8 year old son since he was 3. He has also been diagnosed with ADHD, General Anxiety Disorder and OCD. It honestly is non stop. I feel for him everyday and only wish I could live in his head for 1 week to experience his perception and interpretations of his environment perhaps I could better help him. I have him in OT which seems to help slightly but the truth is it's a daily struggle and some days are better than others. As a parent I'm going to speak to the other parents or care givers on this board and say we need to be proud of ourselves for all we are doing. We need to never stop trying to understand them and searching for answers to help them. We need to always make sure they feel loved no matter how exhausted or frustrated we are. I have cried many times feeling helpless but it helps me to see this board and know I'm not the only one struggling. I wish you all here the best and hope and pray we find some answers but the fact that we are here shows that we care and are doing all we can for our babies no matter what their age is. good luck all.

Unknown said...

My son is 8 and is yet! Still to be diagnosed he's at least 80% of these symptoms it's tiring frustrating and the only thing keeping me going is hope that he will diagnosed soon so that I can find a table to preoccupy the outbursts and help my child I am a loan parent it's just very daunting

Justmee said...

My suspicions have been overwhelmed by knowing he has something extremely high functioning but no one would diagnose him (my son) since I had a sensory integration dysfunction paper handed to me at his preschool screening did it click in my mind. I took him to several places but all I got was zero do and the feeling that I was a horrible parent who's anxiety was infectious and now affecting my son. He is now twelve and because it has gone on so long without treatment it has now affecting school where before it was mostly at home. His educators don't know what to do with a strate A student who's disruptive behavior is affecting the class and interfering with teaching. I am going to look into a second mortgage because nothing is covered under insurance and when he was 5 no one would give him the spectrum do much less Autism. I don't know what will happen next week when we go again for an evaluation but I pray we finally get the help we need instead of the hell we've been through trying to stay sane.

Justmee said...

Keep praying and never give up searching for the help you need.

Unknown said...

My son is 7 years old and has 70 out of 88 of these characteristics. He is extremely smart....an amazing artist and is very chatty and social. Because of these things no one seems to want to give him the Aspergers diagnosis. Not one person has seen him for long enough to be able to diagnosis him in my opinion. 2 meetings to meet him with his parents present does not represent who he is on a daily basis yet they seem to tell me with complete confidence that he does not have autism. I feel like these people are now getting confused with the new terminology since they got rid of the name aspergers and just call it autism now. My son has been different since before he was 1. He is a lovely little joy but I'm exhausted each day with the amount of work I need to put in with him in order to have him manage the day properly. He's been diagnosed with a neurosensory processing disorder, learning disorder in language expression. No one can seem to tell me why he is not aspergers....they just say he doesn't have it. It's so frustrating. They keep telling me it's a simple self regulation issue. Yet he has tics, outburst, sensory issues, food issues, one way conversations, can't ride a bike or tie shoes, inappropriately touches people, can't handle change, no close friends, trouble with all relationships except adults or babies, requires extreme order, weird about clothes, no empathy towards others, poor eye contact, won't say thank you or sorry, has an amazing memory, won't hug people even if prompted, doesn't play well with other kids, needs to control all play, needs constant structure, sensitive to sounds, makes weird sounds, outbursts out of no where, doesn't hear me when I repeat things 100 times, easily over stimulated....and the list goes on and on. Am I crazy? This sounds like a clear case of high functioning autism/aspergers. My cousin who is 35 has aspergers and he was this exact kid growing up. I'm not sure why the 2 doctors I've taken him to do not think he has this. Can someone please tell me if I'm in the wrong. It's not that I want my son to have this....it's just that I believe he does. I'm not sure what's worse....getting a diagnosis you don't want or not getting a diagnosis you need. I'm a clinical psychologist specializing in anxiety and depression. I know my son....and I know this diagnosis is him.

Dita said...

Have you had the school do an evaluation? My son is 8 and we just got ours. He now has an iep and we do ot and play therapy weekly.

Unknown said...

His school is following the testing we've had done in the past which showed neurosensory processing. They did a separate speech eval and now pull him out of class for speech. The school, although nice and friendly, don not seem to be proactive as far as testing for him. We've been working with them for 6 months and they have yet to finalize his 504 plan or IEP for speech. I feel like I'd have to get a separate evaluation myself again. First time around was thousands. However if I did decide to go this route again....what type of doctor and testing would you recommend I get in order to check for this diagnosis?

Justmee said...

HI, I'm sorry for how hard it is to get the school to be more helpful, nice is okay but helpful is best. I was told by OT to seek a Pediatric Neuro psychologist...mind my poor spelling for official diagnosis. I am still trying to figure this all out myself and although we are not where we want to be our OT regiment seems to be helping a little. Thank the Lord.

Unknown said...

I'm not organized or consistent in things, although I want to learn a lot
When I get upset I'm told my tone becomes "robot like" and my eyes "look dead"
Is this normal behavior for an upset teenager?

Unknown said...

Please help, it's bugging me so much, I strongly feel as though there's something wrong with me, but my parents say there's not
It's confusing and frustrating
I'm 16
I'm immature, I'm childish, I don't act my age
I don't act like the average 16 year old female, I have no desire to drive, I don't want to work
Not because I'm lazy, I would rather find work at home but what can I do?
I have social problems, I stutter, conversation brings anxiety and is tiring, I make little to no eye contact, it's hard, sometimes I speak too low, sometimes too fast, I have no friends except for one online, it's hard to make and maintain them, so far she is still by my side
I self harm when upset, I punch my face in a particular spot, pick at my wrist, bite my other
I also become silent, I almost never respond to anybody, sometimes if it's bad enough I'll go wild and repeatedly hit a body part really hard, but this is rare
I do this in private
When I'm reprimanded for not acting my age I get upset because I don't know how exactly
My voice sounds younger than my age
I do random dance moves throughout the day
Nothing too extravagant
And I move my body in a dance like way when I eat something that I like most times
I have low self-esteem
And thoughts of I hate myself constantly invade my mind
I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, social anxiety disorder, and general anxiety disorder
I'm labeled as a hypochondriac
I have an extreme phobia of bugs and I don't know why
When someone is sick I'm told I overreact
Especially stomach sicknesses
Everyone views me as weird
In school classmates treated me differently
Some thought I was either slow or very smart... Or even both because they'd talk to me as if I were a small child, but they'd come to me for help on schoolwork at times
I was known as shy and quiet
It was like I could never bring myself to speak louder
I had breakdowns when I was forced to go to school with a hairdo I didn't like
I wore the same hoodie everyday with no thought
I had bad hygiene until notified
I make random noises sometimes
I rock but I try to limit that in front of people, back and forth or side to side
Sometimes I'll move my head side to side or back and forth in extravagant movement with my eyes closed and I'd be called out on it
I rub the soft skin on my knuckles
I put the end of my hair in my mouth so I can run my tongue over it because the texture is nice
I rapidly shake my foot when laying down
Sometimes I rock too
I have an obsession with writing lists even if I've written the same thing before
I'm disorganized and inconsistent
I don't have a routine but I don't like when certain things change
Like a change from my usual hairstyles, I don't like that, or certain clothes, I hate tight shirts and shirts that don't cover my butt
If too many people yell at my I'm known to freeze and put my hands on my ears
When there are arguments between parents I cry and put my hands over my ears, I don't know if this is normal because I have younger sisters and they don't do that, put hands over ears
Sometimes it's difficult to answer if someone asks me how do I feel about something, I don't know
I broke down because I didn't understand a question a teacher asked me
I hate going out alone
I feel like I'm too dependent on my mother
It's even difficult for me to order something for myself, I try to get one of my sisters or my mom or someone I know to do it

Maryland Gal said...

Dear Imteyaz,

You are created with a purpose!
You are a rare & beautiful treasure!
It sounds like you are overwhelmed with all the ways things seem to not fit the typical pattern of how people behave.
But think of a few beautiful wildflowers in a field of green grass - the grass would probably call the flowers odd, they both grow out of the ground with green stalks but the flowers sort of stand out. Or a piece of artwork - the background is usually similar with slightly or dramatically different patterns, colors and such to make beauty.
When people you love fight with each other it is totally understandable that it prompts you to cry or cover your ears. Just because many people would restrain their emotions doesn't mean that it is wrong to dislike the arguing. I too hate it when people I care about fight.
And I totally get wanting tshirts to come down long enough (I like them hitting mid-thigh)

I can't say I understand everything you are going through but I do know with certainty that God made you for a purpose, that He delights in you and that the very things that seem like liabilities can be the things that give you a necessary and different perspective.
I tend to way overanalyze and be introspective but at some point in life it is possible just to live. Live as we are, doing the things God made us to do, in the environment we find ourselves in. And you know what? That's freeing!

Even if people sometimes jeer or criticize or roll their eyes at quirks that's OK. I'm not saying we should ignore what people are saying or be disrespectful, but I am saying that the less we fret over the way we are or the way we are perceived, usually the better.
One of the people I've most admired is someone who believes himself autistic. He doesn't make friends easily, misses social cues, was very anxious and stressed as a child, teachers didn't "get" him, he overreacted a lot, had a lot of "quirks" blurting out random words or whatever. But he is also sensitive and kind, forgives easily, is very responsible with money, generous, understands how physics works better than many and the few people who can make it past to be his friends tend to be solid friends for life.

So I have every confidence that you can be a great sister and daughter and friend. You are made with a purpose!

Maryland Gal said...

Dear Imteyaz,

Thank you for being brave enough to share your struggles and questions.

You are not alone.
You are at the same time facing struggles others share but you are also
Intentionally crafted, created with a purpose!
You are a rare and valuable treasure, loved by God.

I cannot rescue from the pain and feelings of frustration but I can introduce you to Jesus, the One who rescued me from overwhelming feelings, including high anxiety, loathing myself at times and thinking depressive /suicidal thoughts.
There is a verse that says "cast (throw) your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.". When I am overwhelmed,I can go to Him (Jesus) and say "this is too much for me, I don't know how to handle it but I know you made me the way I am, you have as purpose for my life and you love me, so I'm going to throw my worries / cares on you."

I started to write about the specific concerns you shared. For instance, it is understandable that you feel badly when your parents fight.
I too like shirts to come down long enough, preferably to the thigh.
One of the people I most admire considers himself autistic - he had a very hard time making friends in school, would randomly blurt out words, get really upset at unannounced changes, need clothes to be soft, not want to order things at fast food restaurants, showed extremely high anxiety at not being able to do some things, teachers didn't understand him and so forth. But he is kind, sensitive, very responsible with money, generous, good at his job, totally gets the way physics works and the few people he has been able to make friends with since high school stick.
He sees the world differently from the way many others do, and they might call him weird but he is valuable. As are you.

I'm glad that you posted. I pray that you'll see yourself as unique for a reason, that you'll find peace inside no matter what changes or stays the same. Another verse we can rely on is "I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me."
I might not find this page again but will be thinking about you.
Take care,

Samantha said...

My son has been diagnosed with ADHD odd and anxiety at the age of 7. We have been to 4 different psychologist and the last one just diagnosed him with ASD. He will be 12 in August. He has most of these symptoms except for a few. It took me almost 6 years to finally get a diagnosis. When this whole time I knew it. I just kept fighting for him to where I had a doc listen to me and had him reevaluated at a special place where they just deal with autism.

Unknown said...

Hi your son sounds like my grandson who is 9 and has most of the Symtons above but finally got the diognosed about 2 years ago.for me hes anxiety is the worse thing and worries me so much.he started having sleep problems which seem worse when hes at home but that maybe he has always slept in my room but in hes own bed and i go to bed early anyway around 8 30 . 9pm.but now he wants to sleep in my bed saying hes scared even us I g the bathroom i have to go with him thats been for around now.but now I'm getting scared he mum said he is now seeing things and won't go to bed in bed house alone and stays up with her till late clinging to her almost has anyone else experienced this or can offer any advice I will do what ever it take to help him.its so sad to watch.

Unknown said...

Hi your son sounds like my grandson who is 9 and has most of the Symtons above but finally got the diognosed about 2 years ago.for me hes anxiety is the worse thing and worries me so much.he started having sleep problems which seem worse when hes at home but that maybe he has always slept in my room but in hes own bed and i go to bed early anyway around 8 30 . 9pm.but now he wants to sleep in my bed saying hes scared even us I g the bathroom i have to go with him thats been for around now.but now I'm getting scared he mum said he is now seeing things and won't go to bed in bed house alone and stays up with her till late clinging to her almost has anyone else experienced this or can offer any advice I will do what ever it take to help him.its so sad to watch.

Unknown said...

I took the Autism Spectrum Quotient and I'm 39 years old.
https://psychology-tools.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/
I got a score that says I have HFA. I've read a lot of information online and also interviews with people with Aspergers and HFA. I've never been clumsy or had the physical issues I see as symptoms as a child or adult in Aspergers, but I have and still do have issues with a lot of bothersome things. I've never felt comfortable in social situations, standing in from of people, etc gives me great anxiety. I always rather be left alone, I like routines and hate when someone breaks it, I organize a lot of things in my life and apartment, I've collected 600,000 images online since 2000, I'm an artist and hate it when I can't work on my art, I explode sometimes to the people around me when things don't go my way, I have to fix whatever problems are currently an issue, I've had problems with bullies because I was a small passive quiet child where I got expelled for bringing a weapon to school, I hated surprises by my parents (parties), I always had a problem smiling as a child and found it meaningless unless there was a reason, I have a hard time keeping friends because it takes time away from my art, in school I had issues in English class with reading books and skipped school to avoid unfinished assignments (3rd grade), I was always good in math, but not very good at reading fast or reading fiction. When I do I tend to get lost in what I'm reading and have to start over or create my own stories at the same time thinking my stories are better. I always preferred hanging out with girls as opposed to boys, I found them more interesting and less intimidating, I'm very honest and have a hard time lying, sounds affect me and distract me like birds outside a window to the point of being incredibly agitated and want to kill them if I could, but the thing I do most of all is create stories and scenarios in my head. When things go wrong I replay things over and over again. Things that have embarrassed me in the past I can't let go. I see things in my head very clearly and can have an entire story play and laugh outlaid by myself or remember a moment vividly and do the same. I also have these paranoid visions of hurting myself or others when I see weapons (knives or sharp things) around me. It makes me tense up my hand or fidget around until a few moments later when I think of something else. Also when I'm in high places I do the same. When things don't go my way it destroys the rest of the progress I would have made that day. In get bored or anxious in social situations (parties, gatherings, etc). I usually leave early and it is draining mentally. I once threw up eating macaroni and cheese and never ate yellow cheese or gooey things that remind me of it again (it looks like barf). I'm deathly afraid of insects (mostly cockroaches and bees or anything that can bite). I run or leave the room or feel it on my skin even when just thinking about it. (it's happening right now).

Unknown said...

Thank you for your letter. Your daughter sounds very similar to mine. My daughter is 15. This has prompted me to get professional help. Thank you

Stephanie said...

Girls have differences from boys on the spectrum. Upon researching it girls want friends but its harder for them to make connections. Girks groups don't help that one bit. My daughter has high functioning ASD. Wants friends but struggles. Her twin is a blessing... she understands her sister like no one else.

KAS said...

My son was recently diagnosed at 24 years old. I've known practically his entire life, but he had previously been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, emotional disturbance, and major depression. He had many years of treatment and therapy, but at school he was always treated as if he was just a bad kid. His principal in fourth grade once called the police because he refused to come out from under a desk. I really think having the proper diagnosis may have opened a few more doors for him, but nobody would ever diagnose him with ASD. I always thought it made more sense that he would have one diagnosis that every symptom fit into, but instead they gave him several that were all treated differently. He still struggles but holds a full time job and has had a girlfriend for three years. But his symptoms have given him troubles even in adulthood so I encouraged him to seek help again. I'm glad he did.

Momwhofoughthard said...

Keep fighting for your kids as parents you know them best my son at age 5 dx with adhd and odd took him constantly to therapy and meds now he is 24 and is homeless and an addict who I believe has asd and never got the right diagnosis I just spoke to his 4th grade teacher and she said he had all the signs it just wasn't diagnosed as much as it is now then

EH said...

Most of the comments on this thread really got to me, but the words of 'UnknownNovember 13, 2016 at 5:52 PM hit home' so much! Our son is turning 7 in 2 weeks time and we just got an ASD diagnosis. We live in Ireland, the proces was long and we had to fight the system quite a bit in order to get him assesed, I thought that what we went through to get the diagnosis was so difficult, but it definitely seems worse in other states/countries. We started the proces around the same time you posted this, so I hope by now you got a bit further. We had some suspicions since he was about 3 years old, but we weren't ready to accept it and allow him to get labelled. It basically took us over 3 years and the constant persistence of his school teachers for us to get the courage together and accept that he needs help. All the parents here are so brave, I just wish we would have been just as brave and acted sooner. But with all the above characteristics, when the child doesn't have speech difficulties (we thought very strongly that because he has such a great vocabulary that it can't be autism, this is the first time I see this mentioned as one of the signs of autism), it's too easy to put everything down to childhood really and find excuses for their behaviour. We just thought he is strong minded and not very patient, emotional and he is very good at imitating his older sister's behaviour which hides the signs a bit more. As I said, they were all what we needed to tell ourselves, but it's time we dealt with the facts. We were very lucky to get him assesed by a great team of specialists who I would highly recommend. We shall all try and look at it in a very positive way as some of the ASD people here do so well, they are all so amazingly fascinating, gifted and just wonderful, shame they have to struggle with the sensory, social and emotional difficulties that come with it. I'm probably rambling on and not making much sense, I am in that zone as I believe many parents are after getting the diagnosis, of research, sleepless nights and days spent in a daze, thinking it's all a bad dream and feeling completely overwhelmed and unequiped to deal with it all. As if parenthood is not amazingly tricky already, this puts a thick lining over the worrying that comes with it! �� It's noce to see we're all here for each other, no matter which corner of the world we come from! Acceptance, strenght and love to you all! ❤️ EH

Anonymous said...

Advice please. My 15 year old child developed new onset scoliosis in 2015, then 6 months later total loss of bladder control. They have no feeling of their bladder. Our GP is not interested at all and said it was part of the psychology of an autistic person to have bladder incininence. This week it has now progressed to include bowel in continence and my now 17 year old child has said they are afraid it will become they can’t feel their legs. Is my GP negligent or is this creeping incontinence normal. My child was toilet trained at 2 years day and night, so had 13 years without this issue. Worried mum.com

Maytheforcebewithyou said...

I’m pretty sure I’m on the spectrum but my mum doesn’t believe me. I’m 14 years old and I’m OK at talking to people but I feel really anxious and I can’t keep eye contact. I have a wierd stim where I put my hand over my mouth and nose and breathe and doing that relaxes me. I’m quite smart and I go to a grammar school. I have a very good imagination and I could go on and on about Star Wars. Who in my school could I ask to help me find out?


Carmilla said...

If you have a school counselor, I personally would start there. If not, if there is anyone who is accepting and trustworthy then you should talk to them. From what I’ve seen, a diagnosis doesn’t really change much, but I completely agree it would just be nice to know. As another 14 year who is ~probably~ on the spectrum, the therapist and psychiatrist I go to for depression both said that there’s a good chance I am and I haven’t told my parents whatsoever. Anyway, I think it’s really brave that you discussed it in the first place considering the ridiculous stigma that still remains common. So yeah, good luck with everything and I hope your mum will believe you enough to consider testing if that’s what you want. :)

Unknown said...

My son has been diagnosed with extreme generalised anxiety social phobia and social anxiety adhd low moods of depression and sleep problem even through this is what they are saying on medical terms educational terms they have been saying since he was 3 onwards he has asd his now 13 coming on 14 has been excluded from school due to not handling secondary school to
Well can’t handle change crowds or Loud noses as the school was a very big school
Would have very bad melt down throwing tables chairs even punching walls windows and doors and swearing at teachers aggressively would run out of school the scary thing was once he threaten to throw himself in front of a van and almost did but I grabbed him his now being test next week for asd even through I’ve been told for years he has adhd by doctors

Anne said...

The school may be the worst place for him. Bullying from other students is a serious issue. I think I agree with your grandmother. Please try to find a good online school and work with him, your achieve better results if you get help and work daily with him. Schools are harsh on students without this and many kill themselves.

Anne said...

My daughter has the bladder issue and refuses to wear protective covers bags st night. So I wash a lot. She was checked out as well, no help. No help from anyone. I have been researching and helping her my entire life. And praying I do end up dying from cancer the second time around. All we can do is our best.

Unknown said...

My son has been in special ed pre-k with an IEP since a month of putting him in normal pre-k. He sufders from sleep disorders, GI distress, inappropriate self touching, difficulty in routine changes, we worked really hard with transitions. He had speech amd language delays and does not demonstrate his stimming noticibly in school.
He has been taught since he was a baby about emotions and faces and how to identify them. I drill them home, That others have feelings. Because I have an older son 17. He's in the hospital today who never got diagnosed. He was instead diagnosed with adhd and major depressive disorder as well as gender disphoria who I did not advocate hard enough for, who is never wrong, who talks monotonous, who has no friends, who just fits every aspect of autism and can't relate to anyone elses emotions. Who doesnt understand why people cry when people die, or why we get upset. He lives in meh world.everything is meh. His words. You cannot have a conversation unless he does all of the talking.
Anyways for my 6 yr old almost 7 yr old kindergartener, Home is his safe place where he strips off all of his clothes and stimms. I have seen his ways of controlling it, he grabs both hands behind his back or has a full out meltdown in school. He stimms by jumping circling and flapping or screeching. All inappropriate for school.After all these years they wanted to change his iep from speech and lanugage to emotional disturbance. The school called dcf on me and requested my son be in therapy. Which he is. His therapist is working with him on the bases of autism. The school shot down her mention right away because he makes eye contact and can play on and off with other kids. I had to advocate very hard for my son to recieve testing for autism. I have no idea how the results will look, as I believe the school is biased, but at least I advocated for him.
My Point is testing is not easy to get unless the school or physican recommend it so advocate as hard as you can for your kids.

Unknown said...

I am just at the end of a very long 14yr old rope and have no idea what to do next. My son who I have known since birth that something wasn't right with him (I have 3 older children and they are fine). He would cry uncontrollably every single time we drove in the car whether it was for 5 minutes or longer. He would have projectile vomiting after eating certain foods. Early years he would just go up to people in their personal space and no matter how rude or standoffish the peers would be he just didn't get it and I would have to go intervene and pull him away. His speech was horrible and I worked hard mouthing words with him. In 1st grade the teachers said he was in need of help. Took him to a doctor and basically was told he appeared to have high functioning ppd / bordering aspergers. Well now at 14, he lays in his bed numb and I am typing this also numb. Years of this... He is the sweetest gentle giant you ever want to know... but he does not follow directions, he does not do what he is told, he does not do his school work and this isn't because its like other kids that are being stubborn... he truly just goes blank. He looses stuff all the time. When I confront him about missing school work he shuts down... this has been going on since forever... when he was younger he would put his head in the cushion of the couch and just sit like that for hours... and when he would come out of it he acted like nothing happened. I have been on him all year about missing school work. Today the school teacher called and said she will give him till this Friday to turn it in (everyone else has already turned it last week). I know from experience that the yelling approach gets me no where so I tried the tell me whats bothering you approach. I have him starring up at the ceiling - silent. This is just one of the many things I deal with and can't get anywhere with him about. He also only has a diet of about 10 specific things that he will eat. He also has abnormal sensitivity to noise... loud noise sets him off... every 4th of July we had to watch the fireworks from blocks away... I am scared for him. I have asked the doctors for help and get nothing as if they don't want to commit to a diagnoses. The schools have worked with me but just can't push him through. His writings are worse then a 1st grader... yet he can work on the computer like a wiz and can work with legos and build things crazy with them. I don't know what kind of future he is going to have because I feel like I have failed as a parent and not provided the right guidance for him. Don't know where to turn or if its too late... and I am just spent over this and feel I need mental help to deal with this. Wish someone would help me get him the right help he needs. I can't do this anymore...

Unknown said...

Hi ... I really don’t know if I have this disorder but feeling like I do... like for my entire life I’ve been a different and unique boy... My biggest problem in life is that I really can’t make new friends and honestly not good enough at knowing how do it, i think i need help cuz this is a really serious problem in anyone life.. about other signs :
- I have stuttering
- I have kinda social anxiety like i think too much about how others see me in outside
- I had nocturnal enuresis ( nighttime bed-wetting) till the fifth grade ( age 11 ) cuz I hadn’t woken up when i need to pee
- I don’t remember much about routines, but when i was a kid once I remember started crying and refused to wear a suit for my birthday and i wore shorts and T-shirt instead that i used to wear so much
- I had problems connecting to other students and always an antisocial boy who always sat in the back chairs
- I was not going out during breaks and playing with others and I remember once one my teachers told other students y they dont play with me and they invited me for playing outside and i agreed and enjoyed it actually
- when i was in grade 2 , one day i was late for school so I was running to school when i fell and got some wounds in my face so I started crying and went back to my auntie ( we were neighbors) and she took me to school and that day I couldn’t raise my head so that anyone won’t see it snd not make fun of me
- one night I saw a doll as a ghost lol his shale was in a thing trying to scare me but jt was dark so I covered my face to the point of sweating and didn’t know what to do, aftrr that I thought of wakin up my mom (we all as a family shared the same bedroom that years) and told her to bring me water then when she went to the kitchen I punched tge doll and made him fell down finaly and I started sleeping happily
- I had problems falling asleep and i soent hours i thinkin abt life
- i also remember once I had been made angry by a same age cousin when we were in car, he kept making me angry for throwing tissues away to outside from the car cuz I missed them actually!!!!! I didn’t want them to be out cuz they helped me in cleaning lol ( ik this looks stupid but i really had this when i was kid and for now I don’t think too much but still kinda feel it in me )

I’m a 19.. I really need helpp ( even sometimes i feel hopeless because i can’t change them and feel guilty for makin myself and others sad)

These are and some others are the signs and characteristics i had when i was kid ....
I don’t what this mental problem called ; aspergers or other .. if this is aspergers tell me plz and how can I treat it so i can have a normal life ... and of not then what’s this ??!!!

Thankss so much ❤️

Unknown said...

My son is 7 soon to be 8 and was recently diagnosed with SPD. He was diagnosed young but not medicated for ADHD until he was 6. I’ve noticed the ADHD medicine works for about 4 hours max. I’ve asked his child psychologist about Aspergers but she felt that it is just SPD, however, I just wrote 3 pages relating to your symptom chart and he ticks about 90% of them. I was recently told that Aspergers was done away with and that SPD replaces this. I’ve not found anything to confirm this as of yet. If the Autism Spectrum Disorders have been reclassified then where do these children with Aspergers fall and aside from the information and help offered here on the site. Thank you greatly!!!!! What should my best plan of action be to have my son tested and to get his psychologist on board? Most of his diagnosis have come from his pediatrician who is wonderful. I’m afraid I will have to wait 6+ months if we switch psychologist if there are any capable of diagnosing Autism Spectrum Disorders in my area? Any tips would be appreciated.
Audrey

Unknown said...

So relieved to see other parents going through this as well. I feel like I am crazy. My son was diagnosed with ADHD tourettes.. anxiety..sensory..and ocd. But from day one I have said that he has HFA or ASD but haven't gotten anywhere with it. It has now been 4 years since he was diagnosed and things just keep getting worse. Failing all his classes and can't make friends. He is struggling with everything. Scheduling for a second opinion this week and hope we get some answers.

Unknown said...

My son's HFA showed me that I had HFA.
I thought very early on that I had drawn the short straw when it comes to kids. If he wasn't sat in the corner not speaking, he was going from toy to toy in seconds. He wouldn’t respond to me nor do anything I asked of him, he didn't walk well either. At 18 months old I was concerned my kid was just broken in some way and I was going to have to deal with this. Then something happened, his first words at 18 months were 1 to 10, then he organized number blocks in order, then letters, before he was 2 he could do the alphabet and before he was 3 he could read and type. When I realized he wasn’t slow, I bought him a laptop and just left him with it. within 3 months he was on YouTube learning different languages. My wife and myself still do not know how he figured it all out but he must have been watching us. My wife then asked me to teach him how to play Minecraft coz he seemed to like the videos and wanted the game. I then explained to my wife that I didn't have the vocab to teach a 3 yo a game like that, so I got him the game and just left him with it. 3 months later he had built a house with an amazingly landscaped 3 tier rising garden, I'll never forget it. And he had cows that wandered around but then fell off the edge of his world, I told him to build a fence and he told me he liked to watch them fall off. Okay, we might need to deal with that later.
School asked me on the first day what numbers he knew, and I didn't understand the question, then I saw some of the other kids and totally understood the question. And yes, I know that this conditional comes with a lack of social skills but how would you feel if one day your free to surf the web all day and learn about cool stuff then all of a sudden you’re in a class with 20 other kids that are all learning to count for the first time. This was the 2nd time I was genuinely worried about him because he had nothing to learn for that entire year and I was worried he would just zone out, which he did.
The teacher told me at the first school report that she did not know what level he was at because he did not communicate, I said, I know so when you figure it out, let me know too.
At 4 they said there was something wrong with him, and despite their pandering hippy attitude which honestly at the time bored the absolute shit out of me I started to see a change in him, and at the time I was pushing back coz I didn't know I had the same condition and didn’t understand it.
At 7 you wouldn’t recognize the same child, I have his routine locked down. He doesn't sleep much so at 10:00 it's computer off, at 11:00 it's sleep, he knows this so well he does it himself now. Showers on the same night, no surprises. The hardest part is my wife coz she thinks he's fine, so I constantly battle her to stop messing with him unexpectedly, eg, she tried to get him to turn his computer off one night at 9:30, I knew he was gonna freak so I put a stop to it. You both got to be on the same page.
The best thing I did was give him the internet (monitored), when you give a child who has an amazing capacity for learning the net it's honestly hard to keep up with all the new stuff they learn every day. The net taught my boy the planets, countries and languages, the concept of data transfer, complex shapes and the how infinity works in maths and that was all before he was 5. Honestly, I have barely taught him shit, I just gave him the right tools to work it out himself.
One thing I’ll never forget is when the school got me in and told me that he doesn’t play with other kids at playtime, instead he stays in and reads, and I totally did not understand the problem. After seeing the work, they have done with him and the conversations I can now have with my son, I totally understand where I nearly messed it all up.
I suppose I got lucky as the school had to push me and not the other way around.

Anonymous said...

Can someone have highschool GPA of 3.6+
and have high functioning autism? At a glance I looked normal, but if you know me well one can pick out my quirks that I have had since childhood. They have not gone any better as I got older I just figured out how to hide them. I struggled to make friends my age, minor changes to daily life, struggle in expressing myself etc. I have always been told by doctors that it is all anxiety and anything else I will outgrow it - when will THAT happen?? I don't think I'll ever outgrow it, 'cause it has only gotten worse as time went on...

Kasey said...

I have a clinical asd diagnosis but do NOT meet MOST of the criteria listed. Some of tho behaviors listed would not be committed by someone with MILD autism. This list can also be applied to SEVERE autism. Thus, it is not reliable. Example: Some autistic people give TOO MUCH eye contact. Some are athletes. The list contains way too many "abnormal" behaviors that are also seen in neurotypicals like attachment to a comfort object. Do you realize how many NT children can't go anyplace without their blanket or teddy bear?

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...