Dealing With Meltdowns That Are In Full Swing

By Mark Hutten, M.A.

"I read your article on preventing meltdowns, but what can be done when a child is already in a meltdown? My autistic son (high functioning) will experience meltdowns that can literally last for an hour or more."

There are a number of ways to handle a meltdown in a child with high-functioning autism once it has started. 

Some simple strategies include the following:

1. You can positively distract the youngster by getting him focused on something else that is an acceptable activity. For example, you might remove the unsafe item and replace with an age-appropriate toy.

2. You can place the youngster in time away. Time away is a quiet place where she goes to calm down, think about what she needs to do, and, with your help, make a plan to change the behavior.

3. When possible, hold the youngster who is out of control and is going to hurt himself or someone else. Let the youngster know that you will let him go as soon as he calms down. Reassure the youngster that everything will be all right, and help him calm down. Parents may need to hug their youngster who is crying, and say they will always love him no matter what, but that the behavior has to change. This reassurance can be comforting for a youngster who may be afraid because he lost control.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's
 
4. Unlike a meltdown, you can ignore a tantrum if it is being thrown to get your attention. Once the youngster calms down, give the attention that is desired.

5. Try to intervene before the youngster is out of control. Get down at her eye level and say, “You are starting to get revved up, slow down.” Now you have several choices of intervention.

6. Think before you act. Count to 10 and then think about the source of the youngster’s frustration, his characteristic temperamental response to stress (e.g., hyperactivity, distractibility, moodiness), and the predictable steps in the escalation of the meltdown.

7. Talk with the youngster after she has calmed down. When she stops crying, talk about the frustration she has experienced. Try to help solve the problem if possible. 

8. For the future, teach her new skills to help avoid meltdowns, such as how to ask for help. Teach her how to try a more successful way of interacting with a peer or sibling, how to express her feelings with words and recognize the feelings of others without hitting and screaming.

9. Remain calm and do not argue with the youngster. Before you manage him, you must manage your own behavior. Spanking or yelling at the youngster will make the meltdown worse.

10. If the youngster has escalated the meltdown to the point where you are not able to intervene in the ways described above, then you may need to direct him to time-away (not to punish, but to remove him from the current environment). If you are in a public place, carry your youngster outside or to the car. Tell him that you will go home unless he calms down. In school, teachers can warn the child up to three times that it is necessary to calm down and give a reminder of the rule. If the youngster refuses to comply, then place him in time-away for no more than 1 minute for each year of age (again, not to punish, but to remove him from the current environment).

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's
 
Post-tantrum management:
  • Do not reward the youngster after a meltdown for calming down. Some kids will learn that a meltdown is a good way to get a treat later.
  • Explain to the youngster that there are better ways to get what he or she wants.
  • Never let meltdowns interfere with your otherwise positive relationship with the youngster.
  • Never, under any circumstances, give-in to a temper tantrum (which sometimes looks like a meltdown). That response will only increase the number and frequency of the tantrums. Also, when the youngster on the autism spectrum has become accustomed to successfully manipulating parents with tantrums in the past -- but then doesn't get his way with today's tantrum -- it can often escalate into a meltdown. Now the parent has two distinctly different problems (that may look the same) to address.
  • Teach the youngster that anger is a feeling that we all have and then teach her ways to express anger constructively.

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Popular posts from this blog

List of Symptoms for High-Functioning Autism

By Mark Hutten, M.A.
Image
"Is there a list of symptoms or traits associated with high functioning autism in children? We currently have suspicions that our 6 y.o. son may be on the autism spectrum and are wondering if we should take the next step and have him assessed."    Below is a list of common traits among children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's. However, no child will exhibit all of these traits. Also, the degree (i.e., mild to severe) to which any particular trait is experienced will vary from child to child. Emotions and Sensitivities:    An emotional incident can determine the mood for the day. Becomes overwhelmed with too much verbal direction. Calmed by external stimulation (e.g., soothing sound, brushing, rotating object, constant pressure). Desires comfort items (e.g., blankets, teddy, rock, string). Difficulty with loud or sudden sounds. Emotions can pass very suddenly or are drawn out for a long period of time. Inappropriate touching of self in
Read more

The Telltale Signs of ASD Level 1 [High-Functioning Autism]: A Comprehensive Checklist

By Mark Hutten, M.A.
Image
Below you will find the majority of symptoms associated with High-Functioning Autism (HFA), also referred to as Asperger’s. The HFA child will not usually have all of these traits. We will look at the following categories: sensory sensitivities, cognitive issues, motor clumsiness, narrow range of interests, insistence on set routines, impairments in language, and difficulty with reciprocal social interactions. Sensory Sensitivity Checklist— 1. Difficulty in visual areas: Avoids eye contact Displays discomfort/anxiety when looking at certain pictures (e.g., the child feels as if the visual experience is closing in on him) Engages in intense staring Stands too close to objects or people 2. Difficulty in auditory areas: Covers ears when certain sounds are made Displays an inability to focus when surrounded by multiple sounds (e.g., shopping mall, airport, party) Displays extreme fear when unexpected noises occur Fearful of the sounds particular objects make
Read more

Traits of Partners/Spouses with Aspergers

By Mark Hutten, M.A.
Image
The partner with Aspergers (high functioning autism) can manifest a wide range of varying behaviors with varying intensities. However feedback from their partners in marriage suggests there are many common threads in their experience of marriage. Below is a list of some common characteristics of the marriage experience and of the partner with Aspergers, as described by members of our website: • A tendency to correct and instruct those around them. • After marriage the partner with Aspergers often seems to lose motivation to keep working on the quality of the relationship as though the wedding day has “completed” their pursuit, allowing them to pursue other interests. • An essential need to have things done in a prescribed manner or order. • Apparent evidence that the partner with Aspergers is not “reading” situations or people intuitively and is consequently behaving insensitively or inappropriately for the circumstances. • Interests and hobbies of some par
Read more