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Tough Love for Adult Children Still Living with Their Parents

Is your adult child with Aspergers or high functioning autism still living with you and taking little responsibility for his or her life? Do you feel that change needs to happen?


Anonymous said...

What if your adult child has severe social anxiety too to the point where they don't leave the house?

Anonymous said...

I completely relate. Son will be 22 in January and has debilitating social anxiety.

Tate_Logg said...

My brother in law has this problem. He’s 41, lives with his dad and his parents still treat him like a bay. They clean up after him, run errands for him, and do all his chores, etc. He’s fully capable of taking care of himself and has lived alone for chunks of time And has a decent full time job, but He always moves back with one of his parents just because he’s lonely.

The big problem is that the parents still put his needs before his younger siblings which has lead to resentment and anger between others. So now in the middle of a pandemic, he wants to fly out and meet our newborn baby and stay ten days at his mom’s who has been helping out with the baby from time to time. My wife is still healing from giving birth and her moms help is appreciated, but with him being on a plane during the pandemic (and him being against masks) and staying with his mom for ten days, she’ll have to quarantine herself after he leaves. We asked him politely to reschedule and his mom even thinks he should reschedule, but she can never say no to him so she is Telling him to “do what his heart wants to do”. I told him
He can’t see the baby unless he is outside and wearing a mask and now everybody thinks we’re the jerks. This is a common move by both of his parents as they always put his selfish behaviors before the needs of his younger siblings. Usually it’s small Things like cleaning up his Mess or doing his errands or making everybody work around his schedule because he plays video games till 4am every night. But now it’s an actual health/safety related problem and they are still Putting his selfish behavior as a top priority. He has never had any friends and has poor social skills so I get that they feel bad for him and want to help him however they can, but I want to tell them that treating him Like a Baby forever probably harms him More than it helps him. Are there any articles, books, documentaries, or info on how to give tough love to adult ASD that I can research. I feel like the main problem is the parents, but they want to just sweep it under the rug and ignore it. I’d like to have some data that I can use to help us all make better decisions with him.

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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