Tough Love for Adult Children Still Living with Their Parents

Is your adult child with Aspergers or high functioning autism still living with you and taking little responsibility for his or her life? Do you feel that change needs to happen?


  1. What if your adult child has severe social anxiety too to the point where they don't leave the house?

  2. I completely relate. Son will be 22 in January and has debilitating social anxiety.

  3. My brother in law has this problem. He’s 41, lives with his dad and his parents still treat him like a bay. They clean up after him, run errands for him, and do all his chores, etc. He’s fully capable of taking care of himself and has lived alone for chunks of time And has a decent full time job, but He always moves back with one of his parents just because he’s lonely.

    The big problem is that the parents still put his needs before his younger siblings which has lead to resentment and anger between others. So now in the middle of a pandemic, he wants to fly out and meet our newborn baby and stay ten days at his mom’s who has been helping out with the baby from time to time. My wife is still healing from giving birth and her moms help is appreciated, but with him being on a plane during the pandemic (and him being against masks) and staying with his mom for ten days, she’ll have to quarantine herself after he leaves. We asked him politely to reschedule and his mom even thinks he should reschedule, but she can never say no to him so she is Telling him to “do what his heart wants to do”. I told him
    He can’t see the baby unless he is outside and wearing a mask and now everybody thinks we’re the jerks. This is a common move by both of his parents as they always put his selfish behaviors before the needs of his younger siblings. Usually it’s small Things like cleaning up his Mess or doing his errands or making everybody work around his schedule because he plays video games till 4am every night. But now it’s an actual health/safety related problem and they are still Putting his selfish behavior as a top priority. He has never had any friends and has poor social skills so I get that they feel bad for him and want to help him however they can, but I want to tell them that treating him Like a Baby forever probably harms him More than it helps him. Are there any articles, books, documentaries, or info on how to give tough love to adult ASD that I can research. I feel like the main problem is the parents, but they want to just sweep it under the rug and ignore it. I’d like to have some data that I can use to help us all make better decisions with him.


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