Search This Site


How to Live With Aspergers: A Message to Aspergers Teens

Are you a teenager with Aspergers?  Then this message is for YOU:

Living with Aspergers has been described as being born on the wrong planet, because people diagnosed with this disorder have to learn to live with “Neuro-Typicals” (i.e., people who do not have Aspergers). Those with this syndrome display intense interests at the cost of socialization skills.

Here are some tips on how to develop social skills:

1. Consult a psychologist, licensed social worker or a psychiatrist to learn more about Aspergers. As therapists they develop a treatment plan to assist with daily living.

2. Use the treatment plan to develop social skills. Some of the things practiced may include how to converse with people in different social situations.

3. Learn when it is appropriate to touch people. Practice what you learned and try to follow the treatment plan recommendations.

4. Learn which specific aspects of Aspergers give you the most trouble, and try to work around them.

5. Try to behave in a manner that is seen as acceptable. Allow enough of your uniqueness through to intrigue people, but try to keep most of it under control.

6. Talk “with” people – don't "talk at" them. A good ratio in a one on one conversation is to listen about 60% of the time and talk about 30%. Try not to talk for more than five to ten minutes at a time. Let the other person, or people, set the pace of the conversation.

7. Memorize people's behavior when they are distressed. Ask friends how actions may have caused distress. Ask friends how to prevent causing distress in the future.

8. Join some clubs that feature activities of interest. People with Aspergers tend to be interested in a few narrow activities, and uninterested in anything outside of them.

9. Maintain eye contact, but do not stare. The best way to achieve eye contact is to look at their left eye briefly and then shift to their right eye.

10. Remember, some agencies have special social and support groups for people with Aspergers. Look around to see if there is one around you and join one! This will give you a safe place to make friends and learn social skills.

More Tips—
  • Do not discuss sensitive topics. Again the treatment plan will discuss how to approach sensitive issues.
  • Learn to play cards, chess, or other popular games, and join people who can play them.
  • Find someone to tutor you in a game.
  • Practice social skills while learning how to play the game.
  • Learn how to "lose" a game in such a way that it is not obvious that it was intentional.
  • People may sometimes think you are lying, even when you are being truthful. The best way to avoid this is to always tell the truth to the best of your ability. For example, if you do not know the correct answer to a question, respond accordingly.
  • Since you don't always pick up cues about other people's feelings, it's smart to ask if they are interested or have time to listen before you launch into an involved discussion of your favorite topic.
  • When someone is talking about a problem in their life, they don't necessarily want to know how to solve it, even if you have the answer. Instead, ask them how they feel about the situation or what they have already tried or are considering. Asking lets them know you care and respects their ability to solve their own problems.

Good luck! You can do it!! I’ve got faith in you!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

thank you so much for the tips, i now know how to avoid losing friends, and how to make some
again, thakn you so much

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...