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Explaining "the Birds and the Bees" to Teens

"My son (high functioning) is 14. He knows he is different from other 'typical' teenagers, and he wants to know why. What do I say to him? Also, how would you start explaining sex and changes his body is going through?"

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Anonymous said...

This is very helpful information. Thank you for posting.

Anonymous said...

My daughter is 12 and wants to be "just like everyone else". We tell her that no one is exactly alike-we point out her strengths and tell her that she was "made special" because she is going to do special things with her life. We play upon the strengths and the "differences" we discuss how it makes her a stronger, better person who makes a huge difference and how those differences help her. I hope that makes sense.

Jokysu said...

We don't think of Asperger's as a disorder at our house. Our son is 13 and has known he has AS since 2nd grade. It is how is brain is built and it may be somewhat different than others - but it makes him who he is and we love all the parts of him. We explain how everyone has challenges in life and have to work through them regardless of what causes them. He is who he is - and if he didn't have Asperger's I cannot imagine what type of kid I would have. I love the boy I have as he is. As for the birds and the bees - We are open and honest - the only way to be - They can find information on their own if they just do a little searching on the internet - so you might as well be open and honest. Why hide it? It is a part of real life.

Anonymous said...

When my son was about 10 or 11 we were visiting a new therapist, and she asked him "have you ever heard of Aspergers?". I was so upset - we hadn't said anything to him because we didn't want him to feel labeled. But he surprised me by saying "Yes, and I think I might have it". He knew he was different, and had done some research. It's been a big relief to him to know there is a reason why he is the way he is.

Anonymous said...

My Aspergers son (now 13) was always questionning these things and I always gave him truthful, accurate answers - so much so that he actually ended up telling the other kids at school when they were all around 8 and no longer allowed to get changed for PE together, exactly why and what puberty was! His teacher says that he did it better than she could have. :) He knows all about it but cannot bear the thought of touching anyone that way - and kissing is disgusting as far as he concerns! He doesn't want to be like anyone else - he likes being him - he just wishes they would leave him alone.

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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