“I am the mother of a 10 year old daughter with high functioning autism, recently diagnosed. My question: my daughter is very socially isolated most of the time, by her choosing. Is this a trait of HFA? Is it something I should address? In other words, should I try to get her to be more engaged with others her age? She has basically has no friends at this point.”
Children with ASD level 1, or High-Functioning Autism, are often socially isolated, but are not unaware of the presence of others, even though their approaches may be inappropriate or peculiar (e.g., they may start a long, one-sided conversation about a favorite subject).
Even though ASD children are often self-described "loners," they often express a great interest in making friends. These wishes are invariably thwarted by their awkward approaches and unintentional insensitivity to other's feelings, intentions, and non-literal and implied communications (e.g., signs of boredom, haste to leave, excessive need for privacy, etc.).
These children are often keen (sometimes painfully so) to relate to others, but lack the skills to successfully engage them. Chronically frustrated by their repeated failures to engage others and make friends, some of these kids simply give up and stop trying to be social, preferring to play by themselves.
Regarding the emotional aspects of social transactions, children on the autism spectrum may react inappropriately to – or fail to accurately interpret – the context of a social interaction, often conveying a sense of insensitivity, formality, or disregard to the emotional expressions of others.
Even though they may be able to describe correctly – in a cognitive and formalistic way – people’s emotions, expected intentions and social conventions, they are unable to act on this knowledge in an intuitive and spontaneous way. As a result, they often lose the tempo of the social interaction.
Poor intuition and a lack of natural, spontaneous responses during interactions are accompanied by marked reliance on formalistic rules of behavior and rigid social conventions. This combination is largely responsible for the impression of social naiveté and behavioral rigidity in AS and HFA children.
If your daughter doesn’t know how to successfully engage in social interactions, then this is definitely something to be concerned about. And the sooner you address the matter – the better. "Social skills training" is the best approach here, which is a general term for instruction conducted in (behavioral) areas that promotes more productive and positive interaction with others.
It is imperative that parents teach social skills to their “special needs” child if he or she is, at present, unable to make or keep friendships. A social skills training program might include (among other things):
