My ASD Child

Children, teens and adults with Aspergers (high functioning autism) vary in personality types. One type of personality is called “avoidant.” Avoidant personality is characterized by a pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation. This type of "Aspie" is often described as being extremely shy, inhibited in new situations, and fearful of disapproval and social rejection. Avoidant personality becomes a major component of an Aspie’s overall character and a central theme in how he relates to others. Avoidant Personality in Aspergers Adults: Case Study— A 30-year-old computer programmer with Aspergers presents for treatment at the urging of his new girlfriend whom he met online. He describes himself as being painfully shy since childhood. There is no history of language delay, odd interests, or unawareness of social cues. On the contrary, he tends to over-interpret cues, believing that he is being negatively viewed by

Many “neurotypical” spouses (i.e., the spouse without Aspergers) often feel overly responsible for their Aspergers partner; however, it is important to acknowledge that there is choice connected to that responsibility. If you choose to take on responsibility for others, decide on how much and when you feel it is appropriate. Tips for the  neurotypical  partner: 1. Acknowledging that your Aspergers spouse will “not get better” or be “transformed” into the person you thought he was can sometimes help with your tolerance level. Certain behavior can be modified or changed, which can make daily life less stressful for both you and your Aspie. For example, routines and agreed timetables can help, as can looking at how you talk and what language is used. With acceptance of the condition come a range of other issues, such as grief and the realization of what is not going to be. For some, there will be a feeling of disappointment, loss and unfulfilled potential. Talking to a couns