"My
8-year-old son has ASD and ADHD. The schools do not understand the
characteristics of autism spectrum disorder, let alone recognize it.
What do parents do to get the schools to help these kids; they do have
rights!"
==> Here's the answer...
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My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.
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Click here to read the full article…
How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum
Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.
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Click here for the full article...
Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum
Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.
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Click here to read the full article…
Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home
Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."
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Click here to read the full article…
Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism
Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.
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Click here to read the full article...
Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA
Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.
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20 comments:
Ah! Easy, you inform them what Aspergers kids are all about, you are vigilant in e-mail teachers, administration and the BOE... You inform them of the child's rights, you NEVER, EVER back down. :-)
1st and foremost educate yourself & your family armed with knowledge go into the school with things like a book and offer to read it to his class to start with I used The Friendship Puzzle to read to 1st my own kids class then I was asked by other teachers to borrow it so it could be read to there's also use the counsolur in the school, princpals, librarians and resource teachers if your not being heard in school go to the school board or your representative in your district
I agree with them all. we also had to have the Autism Doctor come in and speak to the teachers on our behalf. my advice is to be very vocal about your grandson's needs and characteristics..keep at it!
We went to a tribunal to fight for our child to go to a specialst autistic school....I'm afraid to say "mainstream just don't understand or have the expertise " to educate and support our children no matter how much they say they do!.....my son went to 4 primary and 1 secondary "mainstream" schools before we said enough this child deserves and should be given the education and more important the help and support he needs!!
Good luck, because so many of these kids are also incredibly smart, the schools don't want to do anything for them. I fought for almost 2 years just to get my daughter evaluated, now she is on a 504, but they don't enforce it. They refuse to do a social skills group because she doesn't qualify for special education, despite the school psychologist stating that she needs it! It has been a constant battle since she was diagnosed, and the battle continues. I wish you luck!
We've been working with our new district to find out the right support system for my son since we moved here a little over a year ago. Finally, we had a behavior specialist come and do an evaluation, and now they're doing some training this week for the teachers and implementing a whole list of supports. Here's hoping it helps!
My child also has a 504 but they will give her no accommodations for it because her grades are good .... I fought and fought and lost .... What was the point of approving it and then not letting me use it
We got the help of a therapist and she met with teachers and staff at our son's school. We eventually moved him to a different school and into a program where they understand his struggles and he is thriving!
My son's first elementary school called the police when my son had a meltdown. Luckily I got to the school before they responded. That was last school year. This year had I changed schools, but he hadn't been diagnosed so they didn't know how to handle him. At least they tried. I'm now homeschooling. We are working with the school and the therapist to get him back in a school environment next year. It requires a lot of educating, but if the school is good they will do what they can to learn and to help. Bringing the dr in may help. It really helps if it is a team effort.
OMG this sounds like my story! My daughter was diagnosed with aspergers and ADHD/inattentive type at the age of 9, only 8 months ago. I feel like people act like aspergers is fake. I am educating myself by reading books that I would love to share with the teachers but afraid they will not read them. I don't feel they care about the individual students. Yes she has an IEP and receives extra time, separate setting for state-testing, modified assignments, speech therapy. They requested I put her on medication, I did. They requested I get her extra speech therapy outside of school, I did. Thank God we have awesome insurance. I am about to request counceling for my family because it is hard having a husband and a neurotypical daughter that don't get it because my 9 year old is very different than my son with autism. I recently started volunteering with the autism society. I hope this will help me learn to advocate in a calmly manner. Her teachers think she should be retained because she is immature. That right there tells me they aren't willing to educate themself. If they want to kick her while she's down, I will take her off medication. What would be the point for her to do her best and improve, only to be retained. There is no law that says I have to medicate her. That is the card I am playing right now. I also would like to see monthly seminars on bullying.
Same here. Nothing gets done for my child no matter how hard I try. They think that because she may ask a question while the treacher is talking she its just behaving badly.
Hi everyone! We are part of a nationwide non-profit organization that offers FREE help to parents regarding their child's IEPs, 504 plans, Behavior, Transition, IDEA, etc. If you are struggling to get your schools to write a good and measureable IEP, or if you believe you have a good IEP and they're not following it, please come to our page and leave a comment and we'll connect you with the Parent Training and Information center in your area. PLEASE do not leave your comments here as we don't get FB notifications except for ones left on our page. Best wishes!
I have had so many struggles with my sons school..paid to have him transferred to a school a couple cities away..thought all was well..now looks like I am going to have to start fighting once more..its ridiculous that our children need help and we have to fight for it so hard and they make it nearly impossible. They should offer up the services to begin with. I have been so shocked at how my son has been treated thus far. His former school was abusive, the school he is at now thinks that for some reason after this holiday break it over that he is going to be "leveled out" after being taken off his meds( bad side effects), they had to hire an aid to be by his side 24/7 so that he could function in the class..and they informed both my husband and I that it was "temporary" and that they couldn't just do that forever. So they would do it for a week and thats it. I know when he goes back in a couple of days he is going to continue to of course have the struggles he had 2 weeks ago..he has had them his entire life. Its so sad and exhausting. You are not alone in your battles with the school district..I know and understand how hard it is. But just keep pushing, keep fighting, keep doing everything you can think of to get your sweet child the help that they need.
As soon as we got a diagnosis ( in kindergarten ) I went to work on developing his IEP - note:I I I went to work on it! We do have an adequate support staff so I set up meetings with them. What I request MUST go in his IEP. IEP (indivualized education plan) is a LEGAL document with regulations that REQUIRE teachers to read it and follow any modifications listed. In his IEP it is required that I meet with ALL of his teachers BEFORE school starts each year. I describe aspergers to them, tell them about his specific needs and peculiarities, and point out the 3 handouts that I chose to put in his permanent file - as REQUIRED reading for each of his teachers. NEVER STOP. It will happen. "no child left behind" is a FEDERAL PROGRAM!!!
Elementary school was a nightmare, the school labeled him as ADD with defiant behaviors, though that wasn't the case. Intermediate school was even worse (5th and 6th grades). I was constantly getting calls from the school about him going into a meltdown and then full blown shutdown mode. I honestly don't know how we survived that year, but thankfully we did. I'm a single parent and most of the times I was alone when going to the school meetings. He was diagnosed before his 7th grade year. Armed with a diagnosis, research and a team full of ppl, my son and I entered his 7th grade year ready to fight. Thankfully his 7th and 8th grade years went a little better, but I have learned to make sure and not go into a meeting by myself. That's when the schools will gang up on you and give you the run around. I am fortunate that my mother is a SPED para in another district. She knows the state policies and can help me call the schools out on the bs they try to feed me every so often. My son and I are also fortunate enough to have a great Case Manager, she attends the meetings as well and has helped greatly this year. He is currently a 9th grader and high school has been a hard transition for him. As for the people I take with me to the school meetings, I bring people with me that are involved in my son's life. My mother, my sister, his case manager, his Boy Scout Troop leader. It lets the school staff and teachers know that I mean business, that my son and I have a great support system and we are not afraid to demand that he has the education he not only needs but deserves. Involve other people if you have to, as they can help you, if not through the schools, then to the school administration and as you go up the chain. Don't stop at just the district administration, go all the way up to the State department of education and even higher if you have to. These are our children and they deserve the same chance's, education and respect as others!!!
If you can find a school with a really good learning support system, you may have to think about changing schools, i know its t.e worst thing for aspie, change, but at the right school it can make a hell of a difference!
I bring his behavioralist with us to every 504 meeting and she also works with his teacher to educate her. I have at one point needed a special ed advocate as well. The most important thing to remember is to NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT!
My son is 7 and just about to go into year 2 (australia) and we're finding our school wants nothing to do with us and our advice. We have had multipule meetings with the principal of the school to discuss our son and his needs and each time we are informed that no special allowances will be made as they will only single him out (as if him covering his ears and crying during whole school assemblies isn't enough to make him stand out among his peers), and we are made to feel that we are stupid for believing our son has asperger's + sensory processing disorder.
Aspergers and autism related disorders are as real as you and I. I am very lucky here as the school works together to have a personal learning plan, the teachers aides are great and the kids at school are more understanding of kids with special needs. It has been a hell battle not with the school or the team of specialists that support us, the hardest part for me was accepting that one of my children has this disorder - let alone 3 on the spectrum who are so similar and so very different. I found that educating myself and knowing what my children have has made a huge impact on working with the teachers and community in general. I found out the autism and related disorders like aspergers are more common than people think some statitstics I saw said 1 in 91 here in aus/usa. I live in Australia and there has been a huge movement in getting our kids funding and education to help them get a better start in life.
I am finding myself feeling very frustrated as I am dealing with these same issues. As I often do, I shared this link on my page as it is comforting to feel not so alone in this struggle. It amazes me that I got a response from an individual- not dealing with aspergers or any other conditions by the way- that wrote on my post that if schools identifyied Aspergers it would be like ADHD and everybody would be diagnosed with it. Really??!!
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