Daily routines are a constant challenge. A special needs child often comes with additional financial costs to the family. Dealing with the school can seem like a full-time job. The time that it takes to care for a special needs child can leave other family relationships with no attention. All of this can add up to a number of problems that need to be looked at.
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Try amily therapy and taking parenting c;asses together and both working with an ABA trained therapist working with your son... my son is now 19 and the same issue was huge in our marriage too (and there were other bigger issues too that we couldn't get beyond at the time - sadly) - that's the one he repeatedly tossed in my face. and yes that's what it felt like - a slap. the other issues aside - there was likely some truth in the middle. I tended to err on the side of coddle and he on the side of firm discipline - and that may not be a bad thing. (we worked out our co-parenting and are divorced )kids, even ours adapt better than we tend to give them credit for. if you are both approaching parenting from the center of love and can find a way to work together w/o undermining, the duel differences may just be what your little guy needs. ♥ good luck and contact if you feel the need
ReplyDeleteI hate to say that having a son with Aspergers eventually split me and my husband up. He couldn't cope with our son, it put immense pressure on everyone and he left. He now gets on so much better with our son as he isn't around him all the time and seems to deal with him better "in small doses". He's re-married and 3 years on I'm still single, living with depression and doing my best to get through every day best I can. It doesn't always have a happy ending x
ReplyDeleteat times my hubby and i clash over parenting our aspie son but u need to do it together as structure and rules of the house are good for our children and anyway dad is the peacemaker as myself and josh can be too close at times and fall out but dad gives out and moves on whereas i nag and nag........
ReplyDeleteBoth of you are probly right.It take two a mother who is protetive a father who pushes to overcome.It makes for a perfect combo.So don't stress overy his way or yours.
ReplyDelete50% of marriages with a special child unfortuanly end in divorce-mine did I am now remarried my ex remarried 5 yrs ago he still tells me i am crazy & nothing is wrong with our son try councilling & parenting classes u both half to be willing or u also will become part of that satistic its true
ReplyDeleteThe main point you need to agree on is: no education action will ever change (let alone heal) the disposition, or maybe the lacking emotional competence of your child.
ReplyDeletewe too had all these problems parenting our a/s daughters,we could never agree,now understand as 5 years ago hubby diagnosed with aspergers too,so many families have an undiagnosed parent too,but its getting better,
ReplyDeleteWe always try and discuss ways to deal with our son - above all you have to show a united front - rules have to be consistent from both parents as otherwise it will just be confusing for your child. Sit down and perhaps between you find some common ground and write the rules down so that your child will always know where they stand. I have a teen with asperger and I think in particular at this age rules need to be consistent from everyone
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
ReplyDelete