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Aspergers versus Nonverbal Learning Disorder: What’s the Difference?

Question

My 4-year-old was diagnosed with Aspergers a month ago. I went for a second opinion, and that doctor doesn’t think she has Aspergers – he thinks it is NVLD. So I was reading about them and I understand that they are very similar (except that with AS, they have obsessions). My daughter does not have anything she is obsessed with, but she does need structure and routine throughout the day to regulate herself. My daughter also has Sensory Integration Disorder, which from what I understand can coexist with AS. I don’t know if I should get a 3rd opinion or just keep the Aspergers diagnosis so she can get services in school. The doctor that says he thinks it is NVLD said that Aspergers usually isn’t diagnosed until age 5 or 6, which I don’t think is true. I am just looking for your input.

Answer

There is often confusion between Aspergers (high functioning autism) and Nonverbal Learning Disabilities (NLD). In fact, sometimes these two terms are mistakenly used interchangeably. There are some basic differences though.

NLD is not included with Aspergers and Autism under the DSM-IV’s umbrella term of Pervasive Developmental Disorders. Both Aspergers and NLD children may show similar social and attentional difficulties, strong verbal skills and a confusing display of strengths and weaknesses. There are a few key items that help in a differential diagnosis though:
  • if the child is helped rather than hindered by your verbal explanations, then look to NLD
  • if the child’s skill at deriving meaning from what he sees is a strength, then it’s more likely he has Aspergers

The Aspergers profile of neuro-psychological assets and deficits is very similar to the NLD profile. Both have neuro-developmental abnormalities involving functions of the right cerebral hemisphere. In both disorders, there is no delay in cognitive development and speech. In fact, early verbal ability is one of the hallmarks of NLD; children with NLD are often extremely verbal and early readers.

Aspergers has been conceptualized as a "Non-Verbal Learning Disability". A comparison of NLD and Aspergers children revealed 20 out of 21 similarities, including a verbal over spatial discrepancy. Aspergers may be an extreme form of NLD.

Both Aspergers and NLD children seek out social interaction, but are often rejected by their peers. A related problem shared by both disorders is the inability to perceive or understand nonverbal cues (i.e., they are oblivious to nuances of facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, gestures, and appropriate spatial distance). Children without Aspergers or NLD use eye contact appropriately and understand that you can tell how someone feels by looking at their face. These cues are "invisible" to those with Aspergers and NLD.

The most significant problem for both Aspergers and NLD children is in the area of social relationships, whether at home or school:
  • exclusion and rejection become part of life
  • living with this social disability and constant rejection often leads to uncertainty, confusion, insecurity, depression, and anxiety, which they may try to relieve by creating routines and rituals
  • they are often accused of rudeness, laziness, lack of caring, or a poor attitude
  • they are often misunderstood
  • they can't "connect" socially
  • wanting to make friends and fit in, but unable to, they may respond by withdrawing, acting out with emotional outbursts, or refusing to cooperate

Aspergers and NLD diverge in the affective area. Aspergers children do not feel the same range of emotions as children with NLD. Though they may feel very deeply about many things, they may not cry or smile when it's deemed appropriate. They often have a flat affect, and have difficulty with initiating or experiencing normal social relationships. Conversely, children with NLD have normal emotions, but are inept in expressing them - and in recognizing them in others - to the extent that they are expressed non-verbally.

Children with Aspergers generally have greater social problems. Their highly restricted interests present an additional obstacle to their social functioning. These restricted interests seem to be idiosyncratic to Aspergers children (“restricted interests” is not mentioned in the literature about NLD). This is the main difference between the two disorders, as they are most frequently defined clinically. The Aspergers child’s odd behaviors (e.g., rocking, flapping) can also contribute to his social problems (behaviors that are not present in NLD). In contrast, the NLD child’s social ineptness is mainly due to his inability to read nonverbal communication (e.g., facial expressions and gestures).

Literature on Aspergers doesn't mention problems with visual spatial issues, which are a major problem area for children with NLD. In fact, many “Aspies” respond well to visuals and diagrams, and are visual learners. Many find work as engineers or architects. In contrast, Children with NLD don't respond to physical demonstrations and may not understand diagrams. They can't learn by watching, and need everything explained in words. Thus, these children tend to become wordsmiths (e.g., teachers and writers) while “Aspies” often excel in math and find work in computer fields.


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==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

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COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… Aspergers is no longer diagnosed. She should be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Level I. NVLD is not diagnosable via the DSM 5. Autism is diagnosed young which is important because she will likely need individual therapy, occupational therapy, and a social thinking group.
•    Anonymous said… Don't forget that Aspergers in girls also presents quite differently in part to Aspergers in boys. I feel strongly that any assistance DNS therapy is personalised on the child's individual needs based on the further assessments so take whichever diagnosis will allow you to access the help you need, it won't affect the outcomes
•    Anonymous said… Each child doesn't have to hit every single box to be diagnosed-for my son I do not notice any flapping or rocking-- He is an Aspie but I have also noticed the older he gets the less sensory issues he has- they are so mild now- mostly hands in early am- ot says from no pressure on them all night so am is pretty brutal- he describes them as way to soft- but rest of day very mild if at all- hoodie now just when he is in strange place- it used to be hoodie all the time everywhere even when he was at home watching tv- so the demonstration of penguin  🐧 saying every one  ☝ on spectrum is different is so so true! And I'm realizing he is mastering issues within his self so well! Also as far as interest he does have only one at a time just like friends - only one at a time- but that's his interest - and it seems more like an interest to me v/s obsession--when he was smaller it seemed more like an obsession- strange how things start balancing more as they get older- I'm sure his ot and phyc therapy is doing great things as well!
•    Anonymous said… I had many many doctors/therapists fail to give the correct diagnosis for my daughter with Aspergers -they diagnosed her with generalized anxiety which was correct but it stems from aspergers - she also has sensory issues - I knew that she was on the spectrum but no one else believed it to be true - so go with your gut - truly Mom's know their child best - I wish I did so that I got my child the correct therapy when she was younger -
•    Anonymous said… My daughter has a Aspergers diagnosis. At age 4 she did not obsess over anything, but at age 10 she shows plenty of obsessive behaviors. Things can change over time I guess, so I wouldn't rule out Aspergers based on that behavior not presenting at 4, it may show up as she matures.
•    Anonymous said… My Son has NVLD and my daughter has Aspergers, they are similar but different. This was interesting to read and realize the differences they do have.
•    Anonymous said… My son was diagnosed with Asperger's at 6 & 1/2. I'm not sure what you do if you feel like the diagnosis doesn't quite fit because with our son it's definitely exactly who he is. I can say the extra help to get him through his school day has made a world of difference. The school classifies him as High Functioning Autistic. He almost failed first grade and in third grade,last year, he made honor roll every marking period.. Teacher's knowing your child has a disability instead of thinking he/she is just a disruptive child makes a world of difference in how they are treated and your child's comfort level in school. Right now I think it's a matter of which diagnosis will get you the services you need at the school. If there is a way to make sure the teacher's will work with you to help her work on transitioning through her school day and with her sensory issues then maybe you could even wait on submitting a diagnosis to the school until Kindergarten or 1st grade when there days have a lot more school work and sitting still during the day. It may make it more clear to everyone what her most pressing issues will be moving forward and what diagnosis is most accurate.
•    Anonymous said… My son was diagnosed with NVLD at 10 and it didn't seem to fit from the first moment. I'm still trying to figure out where to go from there. My hunch as he was mildly on the sprctrum. I wish I understood NLVD well enough to know my next steps better.
•    Anonymous said… They dont have to be obsessed with something, sometimes it could be that they like things a curtin way "obsession stands for a broad range of things. Most doctors totally miss understand aspergers and only look for specific things instead of just different quirks about the child and getting the sensory side of things right. There is no list every person is different so therefore there should not be one set list. Apsergers would have to be one of the most complex things to understand on the planet and thats comming from a mother who has aspergers and 3 of her children and each one of us carries different symptoms and tics and quirks. :) ive come to realize a good 90% of the world actually have it in some way
•    Anonymous said… We were told my daughter has aspergers too at the age of 5, she is 7 now and does get help from school. When I look at the criteria for Aspergers alone, it's nothing like her. But then when I look at HFA highly functioning autism or highly sensitive aspergers it's her to a tea!! She is also on the waiting list for autism and adhd too. The thing is with these Is that the spectrum is so huge it is difficult to say exactly what boxes she ticks. The main point is, that is will be able to get some form of help and hopefully it will help your daughter overcome some of her issues. Good luck xx
•    Anonymous said… Yes, our daughter was diagnosed at 4 with NLD. (Non-verbal). We felt that there was more to it than that. Someone else in this thread said that you don't have to check every box to have AS, and I agree. We are looking into AS now because it seems to fit better. We lived in OK when she was diagnosed and now live in UT. Here it seems no one recognizes NLD as a diagnoses. They tend to think it's something diagnosticians use when they have nowhere else to turn and aren't certain on the results. You may also look into PDD-NOS. it's also on the spectrum, but is a little different than Aspergers. I also feel 4 is a young age to diagnose definitively, and it may change over time, but if you have an AS diagnosis I would run with it. It's not the name that matters, it's the symptoms. If you can get better help with one diagnoses than another, I'd say take it! Our babies need the most help they can get. If you want to talk more, I'd love to visit. Just PM me. We all need friends, including me!

Post your comment below…

Problems Getting Up In The Morning: Help for Aspergers and HFA Teens

Hello Mark,

I recently purchased your eBook "Launching Adult Children w/Aspergers" ...It's nicely laid out/a very useful tool indeed! I do have a question for you:

My son and I had a heart-to-heart conversation last night, as a result of getting into an altercation with him one morning. I'm beginning to understand his thoughts/ways more and more. I realize that 'patience' is a must and as you stated it is important to keep one thing at the fore-front of our minds...."Everyone has good intentions!" These kids do not do things to deliberately send our emotions reeling/upset us. With all of that said, my son has great difficulty getting up on time in the morning and as a result he doesn't get to eat breakfast and prepare his lunch before departing. As a Mom I get upset w/him, concerned about his well-being; he is quite thin to begin with. He told me last night that he doesn't want any help from us that he has to be the one to solve his own problem. I was actually shocked w/what he said, however, my concern is that he will not get up for school or will miss the bus, which would not make for a good morning/I would end up being late for work. I will obviously respect his wishes/not interfere, however, my intuition tells me that he will not wake up on time and actually be missing the bus. What course of action would I then take, assuming his best efforts result in failure? I do not want to get confrontational with my son and do more harm. How can I motivate him to get up if he doesn't wake up with the alarm clock going off...??

Do I take away his IPOD/DS Game/TV privileges for an indefinite period of time...? Appreciate your thoughts on the matter. Thanks! L.


Click here for my response...

The Bullying of Aspergers Children

A sad fact: The majority of children with Aspergers will experience repeated bullying and/or victimization at school. 

Aspergers students are easy targets for a variety of reasons:
  • Due to having a low social IQ, they let things build up …then retaliate without an awareness of what the consequences might be
  • They appear different than their “typical” peers
  • They are not always aware of teasing or bullying behavior
  • “Intimidation” is not in their vocabulary
  • The need to dominate or control others is not part of their personality

Aspergers (high-functioning autistic) children who are bullied are more likely to be depressed, anxious, and suicidal. They struggle in school (when they decide to show up at all). They're more likely to carry weapons, get in physical fights, and abuse drugs. But when it comes to the actual damage bullying does, the picture becomes more clouded.

One  individual with Aspergers (now an adult) recounts here childhood experience with bullies:

As an adult on the spectrum, I will say the only thing that ever worked was fighting back, physically if necessary. Teachers normally did not intervene when they witnessed bullying. Parent and teacher intervention was not effective, and the teachers didn't really care. Teachers generally did not take insults, kicking, or another student threatening to stab me with a pocket knife seriously. Their responses: "Just ignore them" and (if I was merely being called a "psycho retard nerd" or being told to go to a mental institution) talking about sticks and stones.

When I was 9, I did stupid things because I thought my classmates had a right to order me to. When I was 11, bullies made my life a living hell. By the time I was 13, I knew to hit back and the turds found other kids to pick on. I later unlearned this behavior in high school (no longer necessary), and about half the kids who picked on me went on to (found this out by searching public records online) have criminal records. My boyfriend (also on the spectrum) had a similar experience, except that he started fighting back a couple years later and his school life became tolerable a couple years later.

If the school is truly interested in intervening that's one thing, but more often they gave it lip service and then turn a blind eye. And the kids know it.

The mental torment that Aspergers victims feel is genuine. But possibly because a lot of us have experienced this kind of schoolyard cruelty and lived to tell the tale, peer harassment is still generally written off as a “soft” type of abuse - one that leaves no apparent injuries and that most victims simply overcome. It’s easy to imagine that, agonizing as bullying can be, all it affects is a person’s feelings.

However, a new influx of research into the effects of bullying is now indicating something more than “hurt feelings” - actually, bullying may leave an indelible imprint on a teen’s brain at a time when it's still developing. Being ostracized by one’s friends, it appears, can throw teenage hormones even further out of whack, lead to decreased connectivity in the brain, as well as sabotage the growth of new neurons.

These neurological scars, as it happens, bear much resemblance to those carried by children who are physically and sexually mistreated in early childhood. Neuro-scientists now realize that the human brain continues to develop and change long after the initial few years of life. Scientists are recasting bullying not as simply a regrettable rite of passage, but as a severe form of childhood trauma that triggers inner physiological damage.

This change in viewpoint might have a variety of ripple effects for moms and dads, children, and schools; it provides a different way to consider the pain experienced by ostracized children, and may spur new anti-bullying policies. It provides the prospect that peer harassment, similar to abuse and other distressing experiences, may increasingly be seen as more than simply a social problem - one that can be measured with brain scans, and which might yield to new types of medical treatment.

Throughout the first half of the 20th century, even serious child abuse was regarded as a mostly mental problem in its long-term effects, denting children emotionally in a manner that made it difficult for them to develop into happy grownups. Gradually, however, researchers started to look at the brains of grownups that had been abused as children and realize that the harm wasn’t simply psychological: Their brains had gone through distinguishing long-term modifications. In the last two decades, neuro-scientists have marshaled lots of proof that severe physical and sexual abuse throughout early childhood may short-circuit normal brain development.

Research reveals that children who had been bullied reported more the signs of depression, anxiety, and other psychological problems compared to children who hadn’t. In fact, psychological abuse from friends ended up being as harmful to mental health as psychological abuse from mothers and fathers.

People who reported having been roughed up by their peers had observable irregularities in a part of the brain known as the corpus callosum (i.e., a thick bundle of fibers that connects the right and left hemispheres of the brain, and which is vital in visual processing, memory, and more). The neurons within their corpus callosums had less myelin, a coating that speeds communication between the cells (vital in an organ like the brain where milliseconds matter). It’s not yet completely clear what these types of changes in the corpus callosum can lead to, or whether they’re connected to the greater rates of depression of bullied children.

Being tormented by other kids may recalibrate a child's level of cortisol, a hormone pumped out by the body during times of stress. Boys who are occasionally bullied have higher levels of cortisol than their peers. Bullied girls, on the other hand, seem to have abnormally low levels of the hormone. (It’s not entirely clear why this is the case, but low cortisol levels are sometimes a sign of a body that has been so chronically stressed that it has learned to make less of the hormone.)

Cortisol may, in fact, underlie many of the negative effects of bullying. It may weaken the functioning of the immune system, and at higher levels can harm and even destroy neurons in the hippocampus, possibly resulting in memory problems that might make academics more challenging. Teens who're bullied perform worse on exams of verbal memory compared to their peers.

There's still a lot that neuro-scientists have to sort out. It remains difficult to completely disentangle cause and effect. It’s feasible, for instance, that children with certain hormonal levels or brain characteristics are more inclined, for reasons unknown, to be bullied to begin with. And, encouragingly, alterations in the brain don’t always result in long-term injury. Certainly, a few of the subjects who had what scientists suspect are bullying-related brain changes are actually happy, wholesome grownups.

However the findings are definitely attention grabbing, plus they raise a few serious questions regarding the way you should think about bullying. Does being wronged have subtle effects on cognitive functioning that we haven’t even noticed yet? Might some children become more prone to develop the neurological hallmarks of bullying? Since we know that victims are going through serious physiological changes, are there medical interventions that might be as beneficial, or even more so, than counseling and therapy? Would demonstrating that bullying scars the brain make it easier to prosecute bullies in court?

What about the bully?

Anti-bullying experts agree that school officials need to put the safety of victims first, but they should also concentrate more on the actual accused bullies. Expelling the bully from school is usually not the easiest method to deal with the issue. Rather than coming down hard on the bully, school authorities must think of a solid plan that holds bullies responsible, holds bystanders responsible, and keeps the targets safe.

Schools ought to institute “restorative justice,’’ which supports the victim and helps him/her stay safe while teaching bullies about the effect of their actions and giving them the chance to (a) make right what they’ve done, (b) to own what you did, and (c) attempt to fix it.

Recently there's been an epidemic of suicides by pupils who were bullied. Students who've been bullied, then also have bullied others, are at a high risk of harming themselves. Schools in many cases are in a no-win scenario with regards to accusations of bullying. When their child is a victim, parents want schools to be very authoritative, take control, and remedy the situation. But when their child is the bully, parents often undercut the authority of schools by challenging school officials when they discipline their child.

It’s essential for school officials to investigate accusations of bullying completely to determine the part each pupil played, and then try to discipline the bullying child in a manner that helps him and holds him responsible. We should not be focusing on the good guys and the bad guys, and how the good guys are totally innocent and the bad guys are totally guilty. If we want to prevent children from committing suicide over bullying, we have to interact with them to comprehend what’s happening with them, and help them by using the bullying episode a teachable moment.

What about the bystanders?

Bystanders are living up to their name by standing there and doing absolutely nothing - and this is really a problem. Numerous specialists today say that bystanders possess the capacity to significantly decrease bullying at schools. Their research provides strategies for parents and schools regarding how to get bystanders to take a stand.

Bystanders are essential because:
  • Bullies like an audience. If the audience shows disapproval, bullies are discouraged from continuing.
  • Bullying most often takes place in front of peers.
  • It almost never happens when adults are watching.
  • Most bystanders want to do something to stop the bully.

However, bystanders, particularly children, should be empowered to do something. The majority of children will not act for a number of reasons, possibly because they are frightened, confused or unclear about how to proceed.

Scientists are studying the role of the bystander and discovering precisely how critical it may be in creating a psychologically healthy atmosphere. If the status quo at any school is that children notice bullying behavior in others and do nothing at all about it, then they wind up tacitly giving their support to the bully.

Without having any kind of training or assistance from grownups, most children won't take any action if they see bullying. The percentage of kids who'll automatically intercede is about one in five. Children overall feel bullying is wrong and unjust, and many wish to intercede, but there are a variety of explanations why they do not.

The initial step in empowering bystanders to do something would be to help them see that their friends also feel bullying is wrong. Once they realize that many of their buddies would like them to intercede, they're prone to.

The second step is training them that intervening in a bullying scenario can make a difference. Research has shown that if a bystander discourages the bully there's a 50% probability that the bully will stop. The majority of bullies bully simply because they wish to make an impression on people and they like an audience. Therefore if the audience is booing rather than clapping, they recognize they are losing their audience.

However, with no bullying-prevention education, as much as 25% of kids will actually encourage the bully. These children are usually friends with the bully. They're also prone to have low self-esteem. But the larger issue is that more than half of kids will do absolutely nothing if they see somebody being bullied, and by doing nothing they motivate the bully.

Empowering the bystander is really about bridging the gap between what children believe is appropriate and what they really do. When asked what they should do in a bullying scenario, about two-thirds of kids say they ought to intercede, but only one-third of elementary school children really do. In high school, the percentages are even lower: only one-quarter of high school students will intercede.

Why do teenagers act less often to prevent bullying? Because bullying gets a lot more sophisticated and subtle in high school. It's more relational. It gets to be more difficult for teenagers to know when to intervene, whereas with younger children bullying is much more physical and for that reason more obvious.

It is critical to teach children about the power of the bystander early, before they begin to display signs of lack of empathy. Some children may protect themselves by becoming numb to bullying. There's an organic process of moving away emotionally and disengaging. Compounding this issue is the fact that in early teenage years bullying has a tendency to increase. There is an upsurge in the desire to dominate in early secondary school.

In conversations amongst teachers, parents and kids about what to do when bullying happens, the conventional advice is to tell the bully to stop. A few grownups may even go as far as to say that confronting the bully is really a brave thing to do. But there are other methods which may be simpler - and less dangerous - for kids to utilize.

We ought to take a look at an array of options apart from simply telling the bully to stop it. For instance, informing a grownup is good. If they are not comfortable providing lots of details, they can merely say, “Please watch the locker room at third period. There are bad things going on there at that time, but I'm not giving my name.”

An additional option for a child who witnesses bullying would be to distract the bully, or he can provide a getaway for the target by saying something to the target like, "Mr. Smith needs to see you right now."

Frequently children who're repeatedly bullied begin to wonder if they deserve it or somehow bring it on themselves. A bystander can combat these feelings by showing support to the bullied youngster, either during a bullying occurrence or afterward. A bystander can choose to sit down with the youngster at lunch or sit down by him in the classroom. He can call the target at home to say, “I saw what happened and I didn't know what to do, but I don't think you deserved it.” Any kind of expression of support is great.

Whenever bullying assumes a more subtle facade, as it often does in high school, bystanders ought to be asked to intercede by speaking up in support of a bullied classmate. For relational hostility - name calling and gossiping - bystanders should to take a stand. A large piece of this intervention is training kids that other kids are feeling exactly the same way they're about the bullying.

Kids shouldn't be asked to intercede physically in a fight or any harmful situation. As soon as things escalate into physical altercations, grownups ought to be summoned. Do not have kids intercede physically because you don't know where it's going to go. Discourage conflict, unless of course the bystander is a friend of the bully and can say something like, “Remember how much trouble you got in the last time you did something like this?”

Each and every school has a bully-victim issue. Mothers and fathers can get a sense of how healthy the school atmosphere is when they visit. They are able to decide if the school is promoting respect for others by searching for anti-bullying posters and observing how respectful pupils are towards others. They can look to find out if the children are playing happily together. Mothers and fathers should inquire if there is an anti-bullying policy and if they can view it. Parents have to be assertive to find out how the school is teaching anti-bullying programs.

Schools need to make a public commitment against bullying. Children need to know that the bully is going to be disciplined. Additionally, schools can educate anti-bullying conduct via role-playing. Schools ought to motivate students to be aware of sources of assistance.

It's also important that schools notify parents concerning the philosophy of bystander empowerment, to ensure that parents do not get the wrong impression. A few parents may be concerned, convinced that children are being asked to break up fights, which is not the case.

Children require grownups to show them to speak up against injustice. They need to realize that doing so isn't tattling or snitching, but doing what's right. Kids also need grownups to assist them to understand that they aren't alone in thinking that bullying is troubling and inappropriate, and that they will be supported by their friends when they speak up.

Summary-

Why do children turn into a bully?
  • Because it makes them feel stronger, smarter, or better than the student they are bullying
  • Because it's one of the best ways to keep others from bullying them
  • Because it's what kids do if you want to hang out with the “cool” crowd
  • Because they see others doing it

What does bullying look like?
  • Getting others to exclude a particular person from the “group”
  • Getting shoved, pushed, or kicked
  • Spreading rumors about a particular person via e-mail, instant message, chat rooms, etc.
  • Teasing in a mean way, especially in front of an audience
  • Cyber-bullying happens over the internet or on cell phones out of the view of grown-ups

What are some of the negative effects of bullying?
  • Bullied kids are frequently distracted from schoolwork, thus they make poor grades
  • Bullied kids often complain of headaches, concentration difficulties, depression, stomach aches, etc.
  • Bystanders often feel guilty that they couldn’t or didn’t help
  • Bystanders often mention feeling afraid that they will be next
  • Many bullied kids who are bullied have low self-esteem, which may continue for many years

Why is an Aspergers child a likely target for bullies?
  • Because he seems “out of step” with the other students
  • Because of built-up frustration, he may over-react to most provocations, thus the bully knows he can always push the Aspergers student’s buttons at will
  • Because he has difficulty with multi-tasking and interpreting other’s intentions
  • He cannot tell the difference between good natured teasing versus someone being mean, or he is oblivious to an act of bullying or teasing behavior
  • He may have motor difficulties, so participating in athletics is difficult …even games at recess may be a challenge
  • His interests may be boring to others, so it’s hard for him to find other children with similar interests
  • Low frustration tolerance can lead to a meltdown, and kids who meltdown in school are looked at as “freaks”
  • He processes information at a different pace than expected, as a result, he may appear “space-out” or “disconnected”…then when he does respond, it is too late

Why is bullying allowed to continue?
  • Many students report no “bullying-intervention” by school officials
  • Many teachers report that they intervene – but they don’t!
  • There is a lot of misinformation and ignorance about “bullying behavior” (e.g., “If I don’t see it, then I can’t do anything about it” … “There’s nothing we can do unless we catch the bully in the act” … “We can’t be everywhere at all times” …etc.)
  • Research reveals that only about 4% of teachers intervene in episodes of bullying on the playground, and only about 14% of teachers intervene in episodes of bullying in the classroom
  • Socially savvy children bully “under the radar”

What needs to be done to stop bullying?
  • A network of like-minded professionals and community members to join in a partnership should be developed
  • A survey for teachers, parents and students should be devised to assess the level of the school’s bullying problem
  • Support, support, support …because children who feel supported by their teachers are more likely to report an incident than seek revenge
  • If a child reports an act of bullying behavior, it needs to be acted upon immediately
  • School officials need to learn more about the Aspergers condition and how it affects children in the learning environment
  • School officials should host an evening for parents to get together and hear what they have to say
  • Schools that have instituted bullying prevention programs that are working should be visited and copied
  • Support groups for students should be implemented
  • Suspected bullying should never be ignored by school staff
  • The Aspergers child needs to learn how to identify bullying or teasing behavior
  • The school should host a knowledgeable speaker on the topic of bullying


Highly Acclaimed Parenting Programs Offered by Online Parent Support, LLC:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

____________________

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Note: If you have an Aspergers child who has been - or is being - bullied, please comment using the comments button below. Your feedback is valuable!


COMMENTS:

 RE: “What happens to adults with Asperger’s who have been severely bullied as children?” 



Mark Hutten said… The bullying of children on the autism spectrum has become a worldwide concern, drawing the attention of researchers, teachers, policymakers, moms and dads, as well as the victims themselves. The list of ill effects that result from being bullied is extensive. Here are just a few of the outcomes that adults who have experienced childhood bullying may have to deal with to some degree or another:

• alcohol and drug abuse
• anxiety
• depression
• loneliness
• low self-esteem
• physical health complaints
• poor academic performance
• poor social self-competence
• psychosomatic symptoms
• running away from home
• school absenteeism
• school refusal
• social withdrawal
• suicide

When examining the comments from grown-ups who describe their childhood bullying experiences, it appears that over time, many victims have a reduction in their hurt feelings (e.g., less depression, decreased anxiety, diminished feelings of shame, etc.). However, for those victims who considered the bullying to be ongoing and extremely distressing, the negative feelings continue with reported long-term damaging effects on both personality and attitudes. Thus, childhood bullying appears to be a highly memorable experience. Memories of childhood bullying are associated with high rates of depression, social anxiety, pathological perfectionism, and greater neuroticism in adulthood. The negatively-affected Asperger’s adult would do well to seek counseling from a professional who specializes in PTSD.

Anonymous said… I am interested in the number of people who are bullied that end up in abusive romantic relationships, I think the numbers would be staggering - I doubt that adult relationship domestic violence is the first form of abuse most people suffer. I firmly believe that bullying primes people to be targets for future abuses, both self abuse and from other relationships, including business dealings and workplace dominance, people cannot underestimate the long lasting impacts. People who are 'losers' in life frequently good people who are being taken advantage of and taken for granted on more than 1 front, it can feel like a conspiracy, like everyone else gets it, but you're left out of the joke, like you don't know the secret handshake to a happy life. People who are targets feel like they wear a tattoo everyone but them can see, too trusting, too honest to conceive of the lies and deceit being perpetrated on them. The most perplexing part is, being above average in intelligence is a required component of Asperger's, but frequently they must use their powers for good and not evil, because so many of the smartest people on the planet are targeted. I teach my 8 year old that how he treats his little brother is also setting the stage for how his little brother will interact with others, I tell him that if he bullies and bosses he is training his brother to be a target. Boys will be boys, but bullies will be bullies and victims will be victims!

Anonymous said… I don't know if my husband was bullied but he experiences all of these things, and I myself find it very hard to deal with him.

Anonymous said… My 11 year old daughter was bullied just last night..While at a skating party for her school she went to play with two other girls in her class, they ran from her and sat in front of me and I heard them say we hate her she is weird lets trip her when she skates. I then said Hi I am her Mom. It took all I had not to say anything else. My daughter said they were her friends.

Anonymous said… Was scary reading this as I was bullied all through primary and secondary (high school) and I have/still am experiencing some of these effects...it is sad that nobody understands and think you are just making it up to gain some sympathy unless you have gone through it. For just once I would love to see the bullies experience what they dished out to others and get a taste of their own medicine and see how they feel then. I abhor bullying and do my best to put an end to it if I see it happening to my kids, especially my aspie son, and to others.

Anonymous said… I have always told my son, now 15, that most bullies are bullies because they are the unhappy ones. Many times kids bully because they are bullied and/or mistreated at home. I would give him examples of things that the bully could possibly be facing at home. I told him some kids are just mean and have a wonderful home life, but often times not so much. This helped him have a different outlook on the bullies/mean kids. It helped him to not let them bother him so much. He stopped reacting so much to them, he has stood up for himself more plus he's gotten older and a lot of the bullying has gotten better as kids mature.  I do fear loneliness to be a factor for my son due to he has spent most of his school life isolated. Not only by others but he's isolated himself. However, I have seen a huge difference in the last 12-16 months of coming out of his shell. I think my son will grow up to strive in life and I will take some credit as to how I've always dealt with the issues as they've come up. I've been very real and honest with him. I think all kids need that, especially those with struggles.


More comments below... 

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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