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Defiance in Teens with Aspergers & High-Functioning Autism

"My son (high functioning autistic) is now 13 ...he was diagnosed at the age of 8. All of a sudden he is acting out, cussing all the time, lying, being disrespectful and verbally abusive, and has an overall grumpy attitude. Are these years the hardest, or is this just the beginning? When he finally hits puberty, will things get better?"

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Aspergers Children & Sexual Behaviors

Individuals with autism are sexual beings, just as everyone else is. However, because of their inability to control all of their impulses, they may display behaviors that are inappropriate in public. This can be particularly difficult to deal with as it can be embarrassing for parents to deal with. This is something you will need to be direct and proactive about.

There are social aspects of sexuality that will need to be dealt with. You can use social stories to teach about sexuality as well as many other things. It is important that your child understand good touch/bad touch. They can be vulnerable in this area and you want them to be prepared in order to reduce their risk.

In order to be proactive, you will need to think ahead, and decide what is appropriate to teach your child at each stage of development. When talking about sexuality, use real terms. Individuals with autism do not pick up on social cues, so they need concrete terms about what you are talking about. Reinforce appropriate behavior, and when inappropriate behavior occurs (e.g., masturbating in public), redirect the child.

Plan ahead before going into the community. Let them know exactly what is expected of them while they are in the community. If your child is young and doesn't seem to comprehend, give them something else to keep their hands busy.

Using behavior modification techniques can be effective. For older children, adolescents, let them know that it is okay to do that, but it needs to be done in private. You need to decide that you will address the issue, and not avoid it.

Set aside some time with your child to talk about sexuality. If you only respond when an incident occurs you may be sending the wrong message to your child. Find out what your child knows about sexuality, again using direct questions. Find out if your child has concerns or fears about sexuality. 

Talk about what is "normal" sexual behavior, but also let them know what is inappropriate. Try to let your child know that you are comfortable and that it is okay to have sexual feelings and it is OK to talk about them. If you still have concerns, talk to your child's school. They may have some programs that can be helpful in teaching more about sexuality. Or you can seek the advice of a professional outside of the school.

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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My Aspergers Child - Syndicated Content