My ASD Child

"My son (high functioning, 15 years old) has a hard time learning from past 'social mistakes' and usually reacts without thinking through to the likely outcomes as he interacts with his peers. Is there a way to help him be a bit more insightful, that is, be able to generalize from one situation to the next and identify cause-and-effect re: the things he says and does around friends and classmates?" Having positive peer relationships is important for all adolescents. Unfortunately, many teens with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) have a hard time making and keeping friends and being accepted within the larger peer group. The perceived “odd behavior” associated with AS and HFA can wreak havoc in an adolescent's attempts to connect with classmates in positive ways. Not being accepted by others, feeling isolated, different, unlikeable and alone – this is probably the most painful aspect of having AS and HFA. These negative experiences carry lo...

Parenting any ASD adolescent has its challenges. When he or she has Asperger’s (AS) or High Functioning Autism (HFA), the challenges are even greater. While most young people on the autism spectrum attend regular school, have friends, and participate in the same activities as their peers, they possess certain traits - and face certain obstacles - that “typical” adolescents don’t. For example: Adolescents on the autism spectrum might imitate what they have learned in books or movies, and their voices might sound flat or boring. Many AS and HFA adolescents prefer to be alone and may not show an interest in making friends.  Some are quiet and withdrawn.  They often don’t understand the importance of eye contact – and may avoid it altogether.  They have trouble understanding jokes or sarcasm. Some AS and HFA adolescents don’t understand socially acceptable ways to express frustration, and may become aggressive or throw tantrums. Most of these young people are soci...

 "I need some tips on how to deal with my HFA teenager. We're dealing with so many issues at the moment - depression, social isolation, backtalk, failing grades, and the list could go on and on here..." Parenting adolescents brings many challenges – hormonal changes, self-identity, and the pressure of being socially acceptable, just to name a few. When you add Asperger’s or High Functioning Autism (HFA) to the equation, the element of difficulty increases significantly. Parents can help their “special needs” adolescents, but this begins with becoming knowledgeable about what they face. Parents should learn as much about the disorder as possible and how they can support and help these young people face their challenges. The “typical” teenager is really into his or her friends. The tools for developing social skills as an adolescent are shared experiences and conversation with peers . But, for the teenager who has poor social skills or struggles to communicate, t...

"What can we do as parents to get our teenager with high functioning autism to broaden his areas of interest and not hibernate in his room playing video games ALL DAY. He has very little contact with us and has virtually no friends?!" Having little contact with family and peers is not uncommon among teenagers with Asperger’s (AS) or High Functioning Autism (HFA), but if your adolescent's isolation is becoming an issue and advancing into a troubling stage, you will want to quickly solve the problem in any way you can. The adolescent years come with a host of issues for teens on the autism spectrum – much more so than for “typical” teens. Moms and dads often feel at a loss for how to help their “special needs” adolescent when he or she seems lonely, anxious, depressed or out of sorts. Adolescents with AS and HFA may choose to isolate themselves, or it may happen as a result of bullying or exclusion by their peers. Other common reasons for isolation include the fol...

Parents often assume that their teenager with Asperger's (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) tries alcohol and/or drugs to rebel or to "fit in" with his peer group. However, teens with undiagnosed depression often use drugs and alcohol as a way to relieve their frustrations. A depressed teen on the autism spectrum may self-medicate with alcohol to escape the terrible sense of hopelessness. Unfortunately, alcohol only exacerbates the problem. Some drugs may even make him feel "normal," when for weeks he has felt miserable. The impact of such drugs on serotonin, dopamine and endorphins (i.e., chemicals in the brain that regulate mood) can be devastating for these teenagers. The damage they do to receptors in the brain can make the road back from depression even harder. Often parents approach the issue of drug and alcohol use as simply a discipline issue for a teen who is "bad." However, your "special needs" teen may be sick. He may be...

"My daughter is 18 and has ASD [level 1]. Hers is particularly with anti-social behavior and thoughts. My entire family is ridiculing me for not forcing her to get her drivers license, but she is scared and doesn't want to. Should I force her to? Am I wrong?" RE: "Should I force her to?" No. I'm pretty sure that would backfire. When teens get their driver’s license, parents get worried. And this worry is justified! Here are the alarming national teen driving statistics: 16- and 17-year-old driver death rates increase with each additional passenger. 16-year-olds are 3 times more likely to die in a motor vehicle crash than the average of all drivers. 16-year-olds have higher crash rates than drivers of any other age. About 2 out of every 3 teenagers killed in motor vehicle crashes are males. About 2,014 occupants of passenger vehicles ages 16-20 who are killed in crashes are not buckled up. About 2,500 drivers between the ages of 15 and 20 die i...

“I have a 16 y.o. teen with high functioning autism who seems to be down in the dumps a lot lately. He has stated he knows he is ‘different’ than his friends and classmates, and may be feeling a sense of shame about that (IDK?). How can I help him to not feel so alienated from his peer group?” Regardless of the individual developmental route, most young people with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS) start realizing that they are not quite like others at some point during their adolescence. Around that age, they have a higher level of interest in others, but don’t have the skills to connect in socially-accepted ways. Also, they’re at the age where they have a higher level of insight into their difficulties with social interaction. Signs that your HFA or AS teen is feeling depressed about his dilemma include: Withdrawing himself from the rest of the family Refusing to participate in group activities Putting himself down (e.g., saying he is ‘stupid’) Not be...

“How should I handle my teenage son’s emotional instability? Specifically, how can I tell the difference between 'normal' moodiness that occurs in adolescence and depression? My son seems to have significantly more ‘downs’ than ‘ups’. He’s usually very grouchy and pretty much stays to himself. Is this typical for teens with level 1 autism? Should I be concerned? What can I do to help?” Moodiness and depression are common among teens in general. And young people with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) are at even greater risk for these comorbid conditions. Teens on the autism spectrum have a “developmental disorder,” which means that their emotional age is significantly younger than their chronological age. For example, the teenager may be 16-years-old, but still have the social skills of a 9-year-old. This dilemma causes problems for the teen due to the fact that he or she experiences great difficulty in relating to same-age peers, which in turn may res...