My ASD Child

Question "My child [high functioning autistic] is 16 and I feel there are times when I will be advocating for him when he should be doing it for himself. Any advise where to draw the line?" Answer As moms and dads, we sometimes struggle when our kids reach the age of emerging independence. We must begin to let go a little and allow them to be self sufficient in their early teens in order to grow and develop into self-supporting adults.    In addition, teenagers with ASD (high-functioning autism) can often feel intimidated, automatically stepping aside and allowing a parent or trusted adult to make important decisions, even when they are completely capable. Helping your youngster on the spectrum begin to accept some responsibility does not have to be difficult. If your child is to become an effective self-advocate, he will need to be aware of the following points: 1. Your son should participate in counseling and group therapy to help keep himself focuse...

“How can I help my high functioning autistic daughter (age 7) to be more independent and confident in her abilities to handle tough situations?” All kids need love, encouragement, and support – and for the child with Asperger’s (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA), such positive reinforcement can help ensure that he or she emerges with a strong sense of self-confidence and the determination to keep going even when circumstances are difficult. In searching for ways to help your child, remember that you are looking for ways to help her to help herself. Your job is to give her the social and emotional tools she needs to work through the inevitable obstacles that will come. In the long run, facing and overcoming the difficulties associated with the symptoms of AS and HFA can help your youngster to become more resilient. Parents should always remember that the way they behave and respond to challenges has a big impact on their “special needs” youngster. A good attitude wo...

Many parents who have struggled with a child for several years feel a sense of relief when their child gets a “diagnosis.” The parent may say things like, “It was such a weight off my shoulders to finally understand why my child behaved the way he did. I thought it was my parenting, but now I see it was his disorder instead.” Many adults who have had emotional problems and/or social difficulties over the years find it comforting to one day discover, “Oh, I have Aspergers! No wonder I haven’t been able to hold a job or find a girlfriend/boyfriend.” Unfortunately (or fortunately as the case may be), finding solace in having a “disability” or “disorder” comes with a price – a much bigger price than most realize they have paid. 1. All ‘unwanted’ diagnostic features can be helped with therapy. True, there are some potentially problematic cognitive and behavioral patterns associated with Aspergers that come with the “Aspergers-package” (e.g., insistence on routine, narro...

The purpose of this article is to get young people on the autism spectrum thinking about how they can actively advocate for themselves rather than passively accepting “things as they are” or settling for a one-down-position in various situations or aspects of life. We will look at both self-advocacy and self-disclosure, because disclosure (i.e., telling others about your diagnosis) to the right people is a primary way to advocate for yourself. When self-disclosure works well, it has positive effects for interpersonal relationships. On the other hand, when self-disclosure does not work well or you disclose to the wrong person, it can lead to lowered self-esteem, embarrassment, and relationship deterioration – or termination! Self-Disclosure— The hard part for many teenagers with ASD level 1 (high-functioning autism) is telling friends, classmates and coworkers about their diagnosis, given the prevalence of ignorance in regards to Autism Spectrum Disorders in general. Man...

Your intelligent Aspergers (high functioning autistic) child has made it to his junior year in high school, and it's time to consider colleges! The good news is that more and more colleges are meeting the special needs of Aspergers teens to help them succeed. Here are some important suggestions for teens with Aspergers (and their moms and dads) as they think about applying for, managing, and thriving in college: 1. Consider broadening your search if your youngster has additional disabilities such as ADHD, which often co-exists with Aspergers. Academic programs for kids with organizational disabilities may also offer social help for Aspergers people. 2. Consider taking a few classes online. Young people with Aspergers may be overwhelmed by the harsh lighting and noise from a classroom. You may want to check and see if a couple of your required classes may be taken online. However, be advised that taking classes online actually requires more self-discipline than in a tr...

“My son Noah age 10 has been diagnosed with autism (high functioning). He has always been difficult at home, and now I am getting repeated bad reports from his online teacher. Honestly, I feel like I’ve failed my son. I feel like I'm losing my mind at times just trying to make his life easier. Add my other kids too, and it is just pure chaos or eggshells to try to keep Noah from an episode. I’ve tried everything I know to do to help, but my son still remains a mystery at times. All I know to do is keep trying and try to be patient, calm, and strong. I would be curious to know if there are any other parents that feel like they ‘should have’ done a better job. Is it normal to feel like a ‘bad’ parent in this case?” Discovering a youngster’s special needs is often a puzzling and agonizing process for parents. It’s no surprise that your son with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often mystifies you. As with all children on the autism spectrum, your son has many skills – and deficit...

Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism possess a combination of strengths and difficulties.  This video focuses on the strengths: Most Aspergers children: can stick to routines… are able to forgive others… are accepting of others… are gentle… are honest… are not bullies, con artists, or social manipulators… are not inclined to steal… are perfectly capable of entertaining themselves… are smart, they study hard, and they respect authority… are talented… can make amazingly loyal friends... don’t discriminate against anyone based on race, gender, or age... don’t launch unprovoked attacks, verbal or otherwise… don't play head games, and don’t take advantage of other’s weaknesses… enjoy their own company, and can spend time alone… have a child-like innocence, an exceptional memory, and have no interest in harming others… notice fine details that others miss… prefer talking about significant things that will enhance their knowledge-base, rather than engaging in ch...

Parents of kids with Aspergers (high functioning autism) often look into the future and wonder if their youngster will ever be able to marry. The answer is yes. A man or woman with Aspergers can develop personal relationships and become a life-long partner. Marriage Partners and Aspergers— A person with Aspergers will normally marry someone who does not have the condition. In spite of their difficulties with social skills and expressing emotion, an Aspergers spouse can be a good marriage partner. This is especially true if he or she is aware of their diagnosis and have worked on it with therapists. Their natural strengths serve to enhance the marriage and in some cases, this is enough to carry the relationship through difficult patches. Potential Problems in Aspergers Marriages— Courtship and the early days of marriage often go well and males with Aspergers often come across as the strong silent type. Problems may arise as time passes and weaknesses come to the su...