My ASD Child

Many parents who have struggled with a child for several years feel a sense of relief when their child gets a “diagnosis.” The parent may say things like, “It was such a weight off my shoulders to finally understand why my child behaved the way he did. I thought it was my parenting, but now I see it was his disorder instead.” Many adults who have had emotional problems and/or social difficulties over the years find it comforting to one day discover, “Oh, I have Aspergers! No wonder I haven’t been able to hold a job or find a girlfriend/boyfriend.” Unfortunately (or fortunately as the case may be), finding solace in having a “disability” or “disorder” comes with a price – a much bigger price than most realize they have paid. 1. All ‘unwanted’ diagnostic features can be helped with therapy. True, there are some potentially problematic cognitive and behavioral patterns associated with Aspergers that come with the “Aspergers-package” (e.g., insistence on routine, narro...

The purpose of this article is to get young people on the autism spectrum thinking about how they can actively advocate for themselves rather than passively accepting “things as they are” or settling for a one-down-position in various situations or aspects of life. We will look at both self-advocacy and self-disclosure, because disclosure (i.e., telling others about your diagnosis) to the right people is a primary way to advocate for yourself. When self-disclosure works well, it has positive effects for interpersonal relationships. On the other hand, when self-disclosure does not work well or you disclose to the wrong person, it can lead to lowered self-esteem, embarrassment, and relationship deterioration – or termination! Self-Disclosure— The hard part for many teenagers with ASD level 1 (high-functioning autism) is telling friends, classmates and coworkers about their diagnosis, given the prevalence of ignorance in regards to Autism Spectrum Disorders in general. Man...

Your intelligent Aspergers (high functioning autistic) child has made it to his junior year in high school, and it's time to consider colleges! The good news is that more and more colleges are meeting the special needs of Aspergers teens to help them succeed. Here are some important suggestions for teens with Aspergers (and their moms and dads) as they think about applying for, managing, and thriving in college: 1. Consider broadening your search if your youngster has additional disabilities such as ADHD, which often co-exists with Aspergers. Academic programs for kids with organizational disabilities may also offer social help for Aspergers people. 2. Consider taking a few classes online. Young people with Aspergers may be overwhelmed by the harsh lighting and noise from a classroom. You may want to check and see if a couple of your required classes may be taken online. However, be advised that taking classes online actually requires more self-discipline than in a tr...

“My son Noah age 10 has been diagnosed with autism (high functioning). He has always been difficult at home, and now I am getting repeated bad reports from his online teacher. Honestly, I feel like I’ve failed my son. I feel like I'm losing my mind at times just trying to make his life easier. Add my other kids too, and it is just pure chaos or eggshells to try to keep Noah from an episode. I’ve tried everything I know to do to help, but my son still remains a mystery at times. All I know to do is keep trying and try to be patient, calm, and strong. I would be curious to know if there are any other parents that feel like they ‘should have’ done a better job. Is it normal to feel like a ‘bad’ parent in this case?” Discovering a youngster’s special needs is often a puzzling and agonizing process for parents. It’s no surprise that your son with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often mystifies you. As with all children on the autism spectrum, your son has many skills – and deficit...

Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism possess a combination of strengths and difficulties.  This video focuses on the strengths: Most Aspergers children: can stick to routines… are able to forgive others… are accepting of others… are gentle… are honest… are not bullies, con artists, or social manipulators… are not inclined to steal… are perfectly capable of entertaining themselves… are smart, they study hard, and they respect authority… are talented… can make amazingly loyal friends... don’t discriminate against anyone based on race, gender, or age... don’t launch unprovoked attacks, verbal or otherwise… don't play head games, and don’t take advantage of other’s weaknesses… enjoy their own company, and can spend time alone… have a child-like innocence, an exceptional memory, and have no interest in harming others… notice fine details that others miss… prefer talking about significant things that will enhance their knowledge-base, rather than engaging in ch...

Parents of kids with Aspergers (high functioning autism) often look into the future and wonder if their youngster will ever be able to marry. The answer is yes. A man or woman with Aspergers can develop personal relationships and become a life-long partner. Marriage Partners and Aspergers— A person with Aspergers will normally marry someone who does not have the condition. In spite of their difficulties with social skills and expressing emotion, an Aspergers spouse can be a good marriage partner. This is especially true if he or she is aware of their diagnosis and have worked on it with therapists. Their natural strengths serve to enhance the marriage and in some cases, this is enough to carry the relationship through difficult patches. Potential Problems in Aspergers Marriages— Courtship and the early days of marriage often go well and males with Aspergers often come across as the strong silent type. Problems may arise as time passes and weaknesses come to the su...

Question What issues should I consider when contemplating broaching high functioning autism to my 21-year-old son? I want to help him -- he has no social life, lives at home, is rigid in his habits...in short is on the spectrum in both me and my husband's opinion. Should we tell him what we're thinking? Answer Re: Should we tell him what we're thinking? Yes. My bias is that it is better to know than not to know. If somebody has High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger's and doesn’t know, it affects him anyway. If the person does know, he may be able to minimize the negative impact and leverage the positive. Without the knowledge that you have the disorder, you often fill that void with other, more damaging explanations (e.g., I'm just a failure, weird, stupid, etc.). Re: What issues should I consider when contemplating broaching Aspergers to my 28-year-old son? Lead with strengths! ALL people on the autism spectrum have significant...

Playing and conversing with classmates is a daily routine for school-aged kids. But children with ASD (Aspergers, High Functioning Autism) are often isolated and rejected by their peers. Their problems making and keeping a “buddy” are exacerbated by their poor social skills. The sensitive educator should realize that kids go to school for a living. School is their job, their livelihood, and their identity. Thus, the crucial role that teachers play in the youngster's social development and self-concept should not be under-estimated. Even if a youngster is enjoying “academic success,” her attitude about school will be determined by the degree of “social success” she experiences. There is much that the educator can do to promote social development in the special needs child. Kids tend to fall into four basic social categories in the school environment: Children who, although not openly rejected, are ignored by peers and are uninvolved in the social aspects of school. Ch...

Question I think my child has Aspergers. I know this disorder has a strong genetic factor, and my husband has been diagnosed with it. Now my son is starting to have some of the same Aspergers-like traits. Is there a test or set of criteria that will help me know if I need to have my son tested for Aspergers? Answer Aspergers (high functioning autism) is a neurobiological collection of behavioral differences (called a syndrome). It is classified in the DSM alongside Autistic Disorder. There is no known cause (although genetic and environmental factors are involved). It continues throughout the lifespan, but it is not a “mental illness” per say. Here are the diagnostic criteria for Aspergers... A. Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following: marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures to regulate social interaction failure to...

Children with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's and their families spend a great deal of time focused on the needs or limitations of the affected child. However, these young people also have abilities that many "typical" children do not. It is important that families talk about the strengths and abilities that their "special needs" child does have. For example: they are often very creative many have a sort of natural genius many have above average intelligence they can see the world very differently to the average person, which can mean different priorities or different sensory experience  their overriding priority is often to solve a problem rather than satisfy the social or emotional needs of others they are renowned for being direct, speaking their mind and being honest and determined  they can be a loyal friend  they give considerable attention to detail  they have a distinct sense of humor  they have a strong desire to seek knowledge,...