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Watching for Signs of High-Functioning Autism in Your Child

“I’ve known for some time that something is not quite right with my child, and I’m starting to wonder if he has an autism spectrum disorder. What should I look for?”

Learn the signs, and act early. Find out if your son’s development is on track, and learn the signs of developmental delays. Skills such as taking a first step, smiling for the first time, and waving "bye bye" are called developmental milestones. Kids reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move (e.g., crawling, walking, etc.). Track your son’s development and act early if you have a concern.

Here are the milestones that parents should look for if they are trying to track the possibility of an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in their child (ages 2 months - 5 years):

Baby at Two Months—

What most babies do at this age:
  • Begins to act bored (cries, fussy) if activity doesn’t change
  • Begins to follow things with eyes and recognize people at a distance
  • Begins to smile at people
  • Can briefly calm himself (may bring hands to mouth and suck on hand)
  • Can hold head up and begins to push up when lying on tummy
  • Coos, makes gurgling sounds
  • Makes smoother movements with arms and legs
  • Pays attention to faces
  • Tries to look at parent
  • Turns head toward sounds

Act early by talking to your youngster’s pediatrician if your youngster:
  • Can’t hold head up when pushing up when on tummy
  • Doesn’t bring hands to mouth
  • Doesn’t respond to loud sounds
  • Doesn’t smile at people
  • Doesn’t watch things as they move


What most babies do at this age:
  • Babbles with expression and copies sounds he hears
  • Begins to babble
  • Brings hands to mouth
  • Can hold a toy and shake it and swing at dangling toys
  • Copies some movements and facial expressions, like smiling or frowning
  • Cries in different ways to show hunger, pain, or being tired
  • Follows moving things with eyes from side to side
  • Holds head steady, unsupported
  • Lets you know if she is happy or sad
  • Likes to play with people and might cry when playing stops
  • May be able to roll over from tummy to back
  • Pushes down on legs when feet are on a hard surface
  • Reaches for toy with one hand
  • Recognizes familiar people and things at a distance
  • Responds to affection
  • Smiles spontaneously, especially at people
  • Uses hands and eyes together, such as seeing a toy and reaching for it
  • Watches faces closely
  • When lying on stomach, pushes up to elbows

Act early by talking to your youngster’s pediatrician if your youngster:
  • Can’t hold head steady
  • Doesn’t bring things to mouth
  • Doesn’t coo or make sounds
  • Doesn’t push down with legs when feet are placed on a hard surface
  • Doesn’t smile at people
  • Doesn’t watch things as they move
  • Has trouble moving  one or both eyes in all directions

Your Baby at Six Months—

What most babies do at this age:
  • Begins to pass things from one hand to the other
  • Begins to say consonant sounds (jabbering with “m,” “b”)
  • Begins to sit without support
  • Brings things to mouth
  • Knows familiar faces and begins to know if someone is a stranger
  • Likes to look at self in a mirror
  • Likes to play with others, especially parents
  • Looks around at things nearby
  • Makes sounds to show joy and displeasure
  • Responds to other people’s emotions and often seems happy
  • Responds to own name
  • Responds to sounds by making sounds
  • Rocks back and forth, sometimes crawling backward before moving forward
  • Rolls over in both directions (front to back, back to front)
  • Shows curiosity about things and tries to get things that are out of reach
  • Strings vowels together when babbling (“ah,” “eh,” “oh”) and likes taking turns with parent while making sounds
  • When standing, supports weight on legs and might bounce

Act early by talking to your youngster’s pediatrician if your youngster:
  • Doesn’t laugh or make squealing sounds
  • Doesn’t make vowel sounds (“ah”, “eh”, “oh”)
  • Doesn’t respond to sounds around him
  • Doesn’t roll over in either direction
  • Doesn’t try to get things that are in reach
  • Has difficulty getting things to mouth
  • Seems very floppy, like a rag doll
  • Seems very stiff, with tight muscles
  • Shows no affection for caregivers


What most babies do at this age:
  • Can get into sitting position
  • Copies sounds and gestures of others
  • Crawls
  • Has favorite toys
  • Looks  for things he sees you hide
  • Makes a lot of different sounds like “mamamama” and “bababababa”
  • May be afraid of strangers
  • May be clingy with familiar adults
  • Moves things smoothly from one hand to the other
  • Picks up things like cereal o’s between thumb and index finger
  • Plays peek-a-boo
  • Pulls to stand
  • Puts things in her mouth
  • Sits without support
  • Stands, holding on
  • Understands “no”
  • Uses fingers to point at things
  • Watches the path of something as it falls

Act early by talking to your youngster’s pediatrician if your youngster:
  •  Doesn’t babble (“mama”, “baba”, “dada”)
  • Doesn’t bear weight on legs with support
  • Doesn’t look where you point
  • Doesn’t play any games involving back-and-forth play
  • Doesn’t respond to own name
  • Doesn’t seem to recognize familiar people
  • Doesn’t sit with help
  • Doesn’t transfer toys from one hand to the other


Your Youngster at One Year—

What most kids do at this age:
  • Bangs two things together
  • Copies gestures
  • Cries when mom or dad leaves
  • Explores things in different ways, like shaking, banging, throwing
  • Finds hidden things easily
  • Follows simple directions like “pick up the toy”
  • Gets to a sitting position without help
  • Hands you a book when he wants to hear a story
  • Has favorite things and people
  • Is shy or nervous with strangers
  • Lets things go without help
  • Looks at the right picture or thing when it’s named
  • Makes sounds with changes in tone (sounds more like speech)
  • May stand alone
  • May take a few steps without holding on
  • Plays games such as “peek-a-boo” and “pat-a-cake”
  • Pokes with index (pointer) finger
  • Pulls up to stand, walks holding on to furniture (“cruising”)
  • Puts out arm or leg to help with dressing
  • Puts things in a container, takes things out of a container
  • Repeats sounds or actions to get attention
  • Responds to simple spoken requests
  • Says “mama” and “dada” and exclamations like “uh-oh!”
  • Shows fear in some situations
  • Starts to use things correctly; for example, drinks from a cup, brushes hair
  • Tries to say words you say
  • Uses simple gestures, like shaking head “no” or waving “bye-bye”

Act early by talking to your youngster’s pediatrician if your youngster:
  • Can’t stand when supported
  • Doesn’t crawl
  • Doesn’t learn gestures like waving or shaking head
  • Doesn’t point to things
  • Doesn’t say single words like “mama” or “dada”
  • Doesn’t search for things that she sees you hide
  • Loses skills he once had

Your Youngster at Eighteen Months—

What most kids do at this age:
  • Can follow 1-step verbal commands without any gestures; for example, sits when you say “sit down”
  • Can help undress herself
  • Drinks from a cup
  • Eats with a spoon
  • Explores alone but with parent close by
  • Knows what ordinary things are for; for example, telephone, brush, spoon
  • Likes to hand things to others as play
  • May be afraid of strangers
  • May cling to caregivers in new situations
  • May have temper tantrums
  • May walk up steps and run
  • Plays simple pretend, such as feeding a doll
  • Points to get the attention of others
  • Points to one body part
  • Points to show others something interesting
  • Points to show someone what he wants
  • Pulls toys while walking
  • Says and shakes head “no”
  • Says several single words
  • Scribbles on his own
  • Shows affection to familiar people
  • Shows interest in a doll or stuffed animal by pretending to feed
  • Walks alone

Act early by talking to your youngster’s pediatrician if your youngster:
  • Can’t walk
  • Doesn’t copy others
  • Doesn’t gain new words
  • Doesn’t have at least 6 words
  • Doesn’t know what familiar things are for
  • Doesn’t notice or mind when a caregiver leaves or returns
  • Doesn’t point to show things to others
  • Loses skills he once had


What most kids do at this age:
  • Begins to run
  • Begins to sort shapes and colors
  • Builds towers of 4 or more blocks
  • Climbs onto and down from furniture without help
  • Completes sentences and rhymes in familiar books
  • Copies others, especially adults and older kids
  • Finds things even when hidden under two or three covers
  • Follows simple instructions
  • Follows two-step instructions such as “Pick up your shoes and put them in the closet.”
  • Gets excited when with other kids
  • Kicks a ball
  • Knows names of familiar people and body parts
  • Makes or copies straight lines and circles
  • Might use one hand more than the other
  • Names items in a picture book such as a cat, bird, or dog
  • Plays mainly beside other kids, but is beginning to include other kids, such as in chase games
  • Plays simple make-believe games
  • Points to things in a book
  • Points to things or pictures when they are named
  • Repeats words overheard in conversation
  • Says sentences with 2 to 4 words
  • Shows defiant behavior (doing what he has been told not to)
  • Shows more and more independence
  • Stands on tiptoe
  • Throws ball overhand
  • Walks up and down stairs holding on

Act early by talking to your youngster’s pediatrician if your youngster:
  • Doesn’t copy actions and words
  • Doesn’t follow simple instructions
  • Doesn’t know what to do with common things, like a brush, phone, fork, spoon
  • Doesn’t use 2-word phrases (for example, “drink milk”)
  • Doesn’t walk steadily
  • Loses skills she once had

Your Youngster at Three Years—

What most kids do at this age:
  • Builds towers of more than 6 blocks
  • Can name most familiar things
  • Can work toys with buttons, levers, and moving parts
  • Carries on a conversation using 2 to 3 sentences
  • Climbs well
  • Copies a circle with pencil or crayon
  • Copies adults and friends
  • Does puzzles with 3 or 4 pieces
  • Dresses and undresses self
  • Follows instructions with 2 or 3 steps
  • May get upset with major changes in routine
  • Names a friend
  • Pedals a tricycle (3-wheel bike)
  • Plays make-believe with dolls, animals, and people
  • Runs easily
  • Says first name, age, and sex
  • Says words like “I,” “me,”  “we,” and “you” and some plurals (cars, dogs, cats)
  • Screws and unscrews jar lids or turns door handle
  • Separates easily from mom and dad
  • Shows a wide range of emotions
  • Shows affection for friends without prompting
  • Shows concern for crying friend
  • Takes turns in games
  • Talks well enough for strangers to understand most of the time
  • Turns book pages one at a time
  • Understands the idea of “mine” and “his” or “hers”
  • Understands what “two” means
  • Understands words like “in,” “on,” and “under”
  • Walks up and down stairs, one foot on each step

Act early by talking to your youngster’s pediatrician if your youngster:
  • Can’t work simple toys (such as peg boards, simple puzzles, turning handle)
  • Doesn’t make eye contact
  • Doesn’t play pretend or make-believe
  • Doesn’t speak in sentences
  • Doesn’t understand simple instructions
  • Doesn’t want to play with other kids or with toys
  • Drools or has very unclear speech
  • Falls down a lot or has trouble with stairs
  • Loses skills he once had


Your Youngster at Four Years—

What most kids do at this age:
  • Can say first and last name
  • Catches a bounced ball most of the time
  • Cooperates with other kids
  • Draws a person with 2 to 4 body parts
  • Enjoys doing new things
  • Hops and stands on one foot up to 2 seconds
  • Is more and more creative with make-believe play
  • Knows some basic rules of grammar, such as correctly using “he” and “she”
  • Names some colors and some numbers
  • Often can’t tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
  • Plays “Mom” and “Dad”
  • Plays board or card games
  • Pours, cuts with supervision, and mashes own food
  • Remembers parts of a story
  • Sings a song or says a poem from memory such as the “Itsy Bitsy Spider” or the “Wheels on the Bus”
  • Starts to copy some capital letters
  • Starts to understand time
  • Talks about what she likes and what she is interested in
  • Tells stories
  • Tells you what he thinks is going to happen next in a book
  • Understands the idea of “same” and “different”
  • Understands the idea of counting
  • Uses scissors
  • Would rather play with other kids than by himself

Act early by talking to your youngster’s pediatrician if your youngster:
  • Can’t jump in place
  • Can’t retell a favorite story
  • Doesn’t follow 3-part commands
  • Doesn’t understand “same” and “different”
  • Doesn’t use “me” and “you” correctly
  • Has trouble scribbling
  • Ignores other kids or doesn’t respond to people outside the family
  • Loses skills he once had
  • Resists dressing, sleeping, and using the toilet
  • Shows no interest in interactive games or make-believe
  • Speaks unclearly


What most kids do at this age:
  • Wants to please friends
  • Wants to be like friends
  • More likely to agree with rules
  • Likes to sing, dance, and act
  • Shows concern and sympathy for others
  • Is aware of gender
  • Can tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
  • Shows more independence (for example, may visit a next-door neighbor by himself)
  • Is sometimes demanding and sometimes very cooperative
  • Speaks very clearly
  • Tells a simple story using full sentences
  • Uses future tense; for example, “Grandma will be here.”
  • Says name and address
  • Counts 10 or more things
  • Can draw a person with at least 6 body parts
  • Can print some letters or numbers
  • Copies a triangle and other geometric shapes
  • Knows about things used every day, like money and food
  • Stands on one foot for 10 seconds or longer
  • Hops; may be able to skip
  • Can do a somersault
  • Uses a fork and spoon and sometimes a table knife
  • Can use the toilet on her own
  • Swings and climbs

Act early by talking to your youngster’s pediatrician if your youngster:
  • Can’t brush teeth, wash and dry hands, or get undressed without help
  • Can’t give first and last name
  • Can’t tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
  • Doesn’t draw pictures
  • Doesn’t play a variety of games and activities
  • Doesn’t respond to people, or responds only superficially
  • Doesn’t show a wide range of emotions
  • Doesn’t talk about daily activities or experiences
  • Doesn’t use plurals or past tense properly
  • Is easily distracted, has trouble focusing on one activity for more than 5 minutes
  • Loses skills he once had
  • Shows extreme behavior (unusually fearful, aggressive, shy or sad)
  • Unusually withdrawn and not active

A word about the importance of further research:

We need to know how many kids have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) so that realistic plans can be made to support these youngsters and their parents. Knowing the number of kids who have ASDs is the key to promoting awareness of the disorder, helping teachers and health-care providers to plan and coordinate service delivery, and identifying important clues for further research. If service providers are not prepared to meet the needs of children with ASD, it takes a toll on families.

Families living with ASD have unique stresses. For example:
  • Annual medical expenditures per youngster with an ASD range from $2,100 to $11,200.
  • Intensive behavioral interventions for a youngster with an ASD can cost from $40,000 to $60,000 per year.
  • Many parents report having to stop work to care for their child with an ASD.
  • The cost to individual families extends into lost productivity and other financial problems for communities.
  • The nonmedical costs of special education for a youngster with an ASD are about $13,000 per year.
  • Therapies are expensive and families spend time on long waiting lists.

Researchers have used different ways to estimate the prevalence of ASD, and each method has advantages and disadvantages. Here’s a summary of each method:

1. Administrative Data: Looking at service records from Medicare and agencies like the U.S. Department of Education. Relatively low cost, BUT underestimates prevalence because not all kids with ASDs are receiving services for their conditions.

2. Population Screening and Evaluation: Screening and evaluating a sample of all kids in a population. Can provide high accuracy, BUT can be costly and time-consuming, and might reflect a bias based on who participates.

3. Registries: Voluntarily including oneself (or one’s son or daughter) on a list of individuals with ASDs. Relatively low cost, BUT time consuming and includes only people with a clear diagnosis and families who know about the registry and are willing to be on the list.

4. Systematic Record Review: Cost-effectively provides estimate of the prevalence of ASDs from large communities and identifies kids who might not have a clear ASD diagnosis already; BUT, it relies on the quality and quantity of information in records.

Key findings from the most recent research:
  • A small percentage of kids who are born prematurely or with low birth weight are at a greater risk for having ASDs.
  • About 1 in 88 kids have ASD, although some estimates say it is closer to 1 in 50.
  • About 10% of kids with ASDs also have been identified as having Down syndrome, fragile X syndrome, tuberous sclerosis, or other genetic and chromosomal disorders.
  • Almost five times as many boys are being identified with ASDs as girls (1 in 54 compared to 1 in 252).
  • ASDs tend to occur more often among children who have certain genetic or chromosomal conditions.
  • Both genetic and non-genetic factors play a role in whether or not a child will have an ASD.
  • Kids born to older parents also are at a higher risk of having an ASD.
  • Kids who have a sibling or parent with an ASD are at a higher risk of having an ASD.
  • More kids are diagnosed at earlier ages—a growing number of them by 3 years of age. Still, most kids are not diagnosed until after they are 4 years of age.
  • More kids than ever before are being diagnosed with ASDs, but they are not being diagnosed as early as they could be.
  • The emotional and financial tolls on families and communities are staggering, and therapies can cost thousands of dollars.
  • The largest increases over time have been among Hispanic and Black kids. Some of this may be due to better screening and diagnosis.
  • The majority (62%) of kids identified as having ASDs do not have intellectual disability.
  • When taken during pregnancy, the prescription drugs valproic acid and thalidomide have been linked with a higher risk of ASDs. 

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:  

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism


 
==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Teaching the Anxious Student on the Autism Spectrum: 25 Tips for Parents and Teachers

Teaching students with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) who also experience social anxiety in the classroom WILL be challenging. School can be difficult for these special needs students without the anxiety issue, but it is especially difficult for the anxious child on the spectrum. 
 
If you are a parent or teacher of an anxious student with the disorder, knowing how to encourage and foster a good environment for learning is paramount.

There is no one sign that indicates that an HFA student has social anxiety. However, some common signs include:
  • appearing very anxious when the center of attention
  • being constantly alone in the playground
  • clinging
  • crying for no apparent reason
  • devoting an excessive amount of time to the computer
  • experiencing severe anxiety about tests and quizzes
  • freezing for no apparent reason
  • frequent claims of illness so as to avoid going to school
  • having no friends, or having only one friend
  • hovering on the edge of groups
  • not joining in
  • poor eye contact
  • refusing to go to school 
  • saying very little or even nothing during class
  • speaking very softly
  • throwing tantrums or experiencing meltdowns
  • unwillingness to participate in class activities (e.g., show and tell, debating, reading aloud, raising their hand to answer and ask questions, etc.)



If you have a student in class who is experiencing social anxiety, here are some ideas for assisting him or her:

1. Allow HFA children to take a "break" (e.g., go get a drink) if they seem to become overwhelmed

2. Allow the child to arrive late if it makes the transition easier.

3. Allow the him or her to sit with classmates that he/she is familiar with or is friends with.

4. Assign a "lifeline" peer to the HFA youngster who can help answer his/her questions if called upon in a group setting.


6. Develop and follow a regular predictable classroom routine.

7. Embarrassment is a concern for all adolescents, but is multiplied in teens on the spectrum experiencing anxiety. Modifications and adaptations should be in place with subtle non-intrusive methods to allow the teen to maintain a sense of dignity and responsibility. Blatant, harsh criticisms of these adolescents will perpetuate their fears of failure and feed into their cycles of anxiety and avoidance.

8. Encourage completion of activities and assignments, yet allow extra time when needed.

9. Encourage friendships between kids on the autism spectrum and friendly, outgoing classmates.

10. Encourage the child to keep a written log of assignments and due dates.

11. Ensure that you have a zero tolerance rule for bullying and discrimination of any kind. Have consequences in place for children who embarrass or humiliate other kids to prevent this behavior in the classroom (e.g., during speeches, any youngster who snickers during another child's speech would have marks deducted from his/her own grade).

12. For younger kids on the spectrum, make the student your special helper to give him/her a role in the classroom.

13. For younger kids on the spectrum, read storybooks about self-esteem and bullying. For older kids read novels or watch movies with the same content.

14. Have a preset time each week that the child can talk with you or another staff member about how he is feeling and his fears.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

15. Help the child confront feared situations with gentle encouragement.

16. Identify a "safe place" that the child can go to if feeling overwhelmed, and have a signal and exit strategy for these situations.

17. If an autistic child misses a lot of school due to social anxiety, allow gradual reintroduction at a pace that the child is comfortable with.

18. If possible, decrease homework load.

19. In your interactions with the child, speak softly and calmly.



20. Modify instructional methods if necessary (e.g., explaining an assignment one-on-one with the child).

21. Pair children for activities rather than allowing children to choose pairs, to prevent the child with HFA from being left out.

22. Promote self-esteem by offering praise for small accomplishments and rewarding participation even if the child gives a wrong answer.

23. Regular meetings between parents, teachers, counselors and other school staff are important for planning classroom strategies for the special needs child.

24. Team with parents to develop calming techniques and relaxation strategies.

25. The child may require social skills training or instruction in relaxation techniques delivered by a special education teacher or other team member.

Note to Parents: If your child experiences social anxiety in a school setting, feel free to copy, paste, and print this article for your child's teachers.



 
==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism 

Obsessions in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

"Why is my 6-year-old son (high functioning autistic) so engrossed in Minecraft, and how can I tell if it is an unhealthy obsession rather than just a fun time activity for him?"

The intensity and duration of the child’s interest in a particular topic, object or collection is what determines whether or not it has become an “obsession.” Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) will often learn a lot about a thing they are obsessed with, be intensely interested in it for a long time, and feel strongly about it. There are several reasons why these kids may develop obsessions, including:
  • they can get a lot of enjoyment from learning about a particular subject or gathering together items of interest
  • those who find social interaction difficult might use their special interests as a way to start conversations and feel more self-assured in social situations
  • obsessions may help children cope with the uncertainties of daily life
  • obsessions may help children to relax and feel happy
  • obsessions may provide order and predictability
  • obsessions may provide structure
 
Many children with Aspergers and HFA have sensory sensitivity and may be over- or under-sensitive to sights, sounds, smells, taste and touch. This sensitivity can also affect children’s balance ('vestibular' system) and body awareness ('proprioception' or knowing where our bodies are and how they are moving). Obsessions and repetitive behavior can be a way to deal with sensory sensitivity.



Although repetitive behavior varies from child to child, the reasons behind it may be the same:
  •  a source of enjoyment and occupation
  • a way to deal with stress and anxiety and to block out uncertainty
  • an attempt to gain sensory input (e.g., rocking may be a way to stimulate the balance or vestibular system; hand-flapping may provide visual stimulation)
  • an attempt to reduce sensory input (e.g., focusing on one particular sound may reduce the impact of a loud, distressing environment; this may particularly be seen in social situations)
  • some adolescents may revert to old repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand-flapping, rocking if anxious or stressed)

Reality to a child on the autism spectrum is a confusing, interacting mass of events, people, places, sounds and sights. Set routines, times, particular routes and rituals all help to get order into an unbearably chaotic life. Trying to keep everything the same reduces some of the terrible fear.

Many children with the disorder have a strong preference for routines and sameness. Routines often serve an important function. For example, they introduce order, structure and predictability and help to manage anxiety. Because of this, it can be very distressing if the child’s routine is disrupted.
 
Sometimes minor changes (e.g., moving between two activities) can be distressing. For others, big events (e.g., holidays, birthdays, Christmas, etc.), which create change and upheaval, can cause anxiety. Unexpected changes are often most difficult to deal with. 

Some children on the spectrum have daily timetables so that they know what is going to happen, when. However, the need for routine and sameness can extend beyond this. You might see:
  •  a need for routine around daily activities such as meals or bedtime
  • changes to the physical environment (e.g., the layout of furniture in a room), or the presence of new people or absence of familiar ones, being difficult to manage
  • compulsive behavior (e.g., the child might be constantly washing his hands or checking locks)
  • rigid preferences about things like food (e.g., only eating food of a certain color), clothing (e.g., only wearing clothes made from specific fabrics), or everyday objects (e.g., only using particular types of soap or brands of toilet paper)
  • routines can become almost ritualistic in nature, having to be followed precisely with attention paid to the tiniest details
  • verbal rituals, with a child repeatedly asking the same questions and needing a specific answer

Children's dependence on routines can increase during times of change, stress or illness and may even become more dominant or elaborate at these times. Dependence on routines may increase or re-emerge during adolescence. Routines can have a profound effect on the lives of children with Aspergers and HFA, their family and care-takers, but it is possible to make a child less reliant on them.

Obsessions versus Hobbies—

Most of us have hobbies, interests and a preference for routine. Here are five questions that can help us distinguish between hobbies/interests versus obsessive behavior:
  1. Can the child stop the behavior independently?
  2. Does the child appear distressed when engaging in the behavior or does the child give signs that he is trying to resist the behavior (e.g., someone who flaps their hands may try to sit on their hands to prevent the behavior)?
  3. Is the behavior causing significant disruption to others (e.g., moms and dads, care-takers, peers, siblings)?
  4. Is the behavior impacting on the child’s learning?
  5. Is the behavior limiting the child’s social opportunities?

If your answer to any of the questions above is 'yes', it may be appropriate to look at ways of helping your youngster to reduce obsessive or repetitive behavior. Think about whether, by setting limits around a particular behavior, you are really helping your youngster. Is the behavior actually a real issue for him, for you, or for other people in his life?

Focus on developing skills that your youngster can use instead of repetitive or obsessive behavior. Try to understand the function of the behavior, then make small, gradual changes and be consistent. Here are some ideas to help you:

1.     Coping with change: If unexpected changes occur, and your youngster is finding it hard to cope, try re-directing them to a calming activity, or encourage them to use simple relaxation techniques such as breathing exercises. You could use praise or other rewards for coping with change. In the long term, this may help make your youngster more tolerant of change.

2.     Explore alternative activities: One way to interrupt repetitive behavior is for a youngster to do another enjoyable activity that has the same function (e.g., a youngster who flicks their fingers for visual stimulation could play with a kaleidoscope or a bubble gun;  a youngster who puts inedible objects in their mouth could have a bag with edible alternatives that provide similar sensory experiences such as raw pasta or spaghetti, or seeds and nuts; a youngster who rocks to get sensory input could go on a swing; a youngster who smears their poop could have a bag with play dough in it to use instead).

3.     Intervene early: Repetitive behaviors, obsessions and routines are generally harder to change the longer they continue.  A behavior that is perhaps acceptable in a young child may not be appropriate as they get older and may, by this time, be very difficult to change. For example, a youngster who is obsessed with shoes and tries to touch people's feet might not present too much of a problem, but a teenager doing the same thing - especially to strangers - will obviously be problematic. It will help if you can set limits around repetitive behaviors from an early age and look out for any new behavior that emerges as your youngster gets older. Making your youngster's environment and surroundings more structured can help them to feel more in control and may reduce anxiety. If anxiety is reduced, the need to engage in repetitive behavior and adhere strictly to routines may also, in time, be reduced.

4.     Pre-planning: You may be able to help your youngster to cope with change, or activities and events that could be stressful, by planning for them in advance.  Change is unavoidable, but it can be really difficult for many children with the disorder. You may not always be able to prepare for change a long time in advance, but try to give your youngster as much warning as possible. Gradually introducing the idea of a new person, place, object or circumstance can help them cope with the change. Try to talk about the event or activity when everyone is fairly relaxed and happy.  Presenting information visually can be a good idea, as your youngster can refer to it as often as they need to. You could try using calendars so that your youngster knows how many days it is before an event (e.g., Christmas) happens. This can help them feel prepared. 
 
 
Your youngster might also like to see photos of places or objects in advance so they know what to expect (e.g., a picture of their Christmas present) or a photo of the building they are going to for an appointment. Using social stories could also be helpful. These are short stories, often with pictures, that describe different situations and activities so that children with Aspergers and HFA know what to expect.  Pre-planning can also involve structuring the environment. 
 
For example, a student with HFA might go to use a computer in the library at lunchtime if they find being in the playground too stressful – or if a youngster has sensory sensitivity, minimizing the impact of things like noises (e.g., school bells) or smells (e.g., perfumes or soaps) can help them to cope better.  It is possible that more structured environments may reduce boredom, which is sometimes a reason for repetitive behavior. You might prepare a range of enjoyable or calming activities to re-direct your youngster to if they seem bored or stressed.

5.     Self-regulation skills: Self-regulation skills are any activities that help your youngster to manage their own behavior and emotions.  If you can help your youngster to identify when they are feeling stressed or anxious and use an alternative response (e.g., relaxation techniques or asking for help), you may, in time, see less repetitive or ritualistic behavior.  Research has also shown that increasing a child’s insight into an obsession or repetitive behavior can significantly reduce it. This includes children with quite severe learning disabilities.

6.     Set limits: Setting limits around repetitive behavior, routines and obsessions is an important and often essential way to minimize their impact on your youngster's life. You could set limits in a number of ways depending which behavior concerns you. For example, you can ration objects (e.g., can only carry five pebbles in pocket), ration places (e.g., spinning only allowed at home), and ration times (e.g., can watch his favorite DVD for 20 minutes twice a day). Everyone involved with your youngster should take the same consistent approach to setting limits. Have clear rules about where, when, with whom and for how long a behavior is allowed. You could present this information visually, with a focus on when your youngster can engage in the behavior. This may help if they feel anxious about restricted access to an obsession or activity.

7.     Social skills training: Teaching social skills (e.g.,  how to start and end a conversation, appropriate things to talk about, how to read other people's 'cues') may mean someone with Aspergers or HFA feels more confident and doesn't need to rely on talking about particular subjects (e.g., a special interest). 

8.     Understand the function of the behavior: Obsessions, repetitive behavior and routines are frequently important and meaningful to children on the  spectrum, helping them to manage anxiety and have some measure of control over a confusing and chaotic world. For others, the behavior may help with sensory issues. Take a careful look at what you think might be causing the behavior and what purpose it might serve.  For example, does your youngster always seem to find a particular environment (e.g., a classroom) hard to cope with? Is it too bright? Could you turn off strip lighting and rely on natural daylight instead?

9.     Visual supports: Visual supports (e.g., photos, symbols, written lists or physical objects) can really help children with Aspergers and HFA.  A visual timetable could help your youngster to see what is going to happen next. This makes things more predictable and helps them to feel prepared. It may lessen their reliance on strict routines of their own making. 
 
 
Visual supports like egg timers or 'time timers' can help some children with an autism spectrum disorder to understand abstract concepts like time, plan what they need to do, when in order to complete a task, and understand the concept of waiting.  Visual supports can also be useful if your youngster asks the same question repeatedly. One parent wrote down the answer to a question, put it on the fridge and, whenever her son asked the question, told him to go to the fridge and find the answer. For kids who can't read, you could use pictures instead of words.

10.   Make use of obsessions: Obsessions can be used to increase your youngster's skills and areas of interest, promote self-esteem, and encourage socializing. You may find you can look at a particular obsession and think of ways to develop it into something more functional. Here are some examples:
  • A child with a special interest in historical dates could join a history group and meet others with similar interests.
  • A child with knowledge of sport or music would be a valuable member of a pub quiz team.
  • A strong preference for ordering or lining up objects could be developed into housework skills.
  • An interest in particular sounds could be channeled into learning a musical instrument.
  • An obsession with rubbish could be used to develop an interest in recycling, and the youngster given the job of sorting items for recycling.

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

 

COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… Mine is 17 and still obsessed. I think we have every game, plus the cards, and watch the cartoon. HELP!
•    Anonymous said… My 14 year old- obsessed with Pokemon. Sets him noticeably apart from his peers, and is definitely an issue. frown emoticon
•    Anonymous said… my 25 year old son with ASPERGERS is obsessed with stunt riding.. he is getting good at it. came 12th in the british stunt championships last year. wink emoticon
•    Anonymous said… My Aspie son was too at that age. Rest assured, he will move on to other things but with just as much obsession! Whatever makes them happy.....
•    Anonymous said… My lad of 21 now he has aspergers.was mad on pokemon and digimon.
•    Anonymous said… My son is obsessed with this too!
•    Anonymous said… My teenager( Aspergers) at age 6 was obessed with Spongebob. We would turn the Television and he could repeat the episode without pictures or words. I think that they just love different things and have a likeable interest. My normal 6 year old is obsessed with Sonic. He is at the top of his class and this is the 2nd 9weeks weeks of report cards. He wants every character. At least it is a good thing and not something bad.
•    Anonymous said… Pokemon was created by an autistic man, so I can see why they can become an interest.
•    Anonymous said… Sounds familiar our 12 year old loves pokemon magic the gathering mine craft and Spider-Man
•    Anonymous said… This is an excellent article! Our 7-year-old grandson is obsessed with Minecraft. We have to curb his enthusiasm for discussing Minecraft every single minute of the day, or we would go completely batty! We tell him that although he loves Minecraft, not everyone shares his interest, and it's important to find out what other people's interests are, and not to monopolize conversations talking about his interests only.
•    Anonymous said… When our Aspergers son got into Pokemon it was actually a HUGE help for him socially. Since all the kids were into it, he actually had common interests and they could all talk Pokemon. We saw a lot of social growth during this phase so the obsession was actually very healthy for him.
*    Anonymous said...I have a 9 year old son. He was assessed two years ago by a Dr. at Stanford University. I went in there thinking he would come out with a diagnosis for ADHD Inattentive at the bare minimum, but instead we walked out an hour later being told he was only dyslexic. I still don’t understand how that one was the official diagnosis because I really don’t see a connection with him. He doesn’t have troubles reading, and he never complains about the letters looking different. Fast forward to today. At 9 years old his mannerisms are starting to really stick out from other kids his age. You can’t really play it off as him being a “little” boy because he is acting sort of immaturely for a 9 year old. He is also very in tune with remembering dates to when certain people were born. When certain musicians first played a rock and roll song and when movies we’re first released. He then compares that to something like when he was born. “Mom you know that movie, (movie title) came out on November five, 1987”. (He says “five” rather than saying “fifth). Then he says, “that means it came out 27 years before I was born!” Mind you, no one inquired about the song or asked him anything about it but he’s correct on the dates and feels the need to tell you about it. He’s also obsessed with space and Roblox right now and loves informing you on all things associated with them. With all his knowledge of dates and times in history, he absolutely struggles in school. He’s in speech because he has a little trouble speaking and pronouncing sounds. He’s also in “Learning Lab” getting extra one-on-one help with school work with a school resource teacher. Ask him to write an essay about a certain topic and he can’t form thoughts and write them down. The teacher wants a intro. paragraph, main body and a conclusion. He writes random sentences that are not cohesive and go way off track. Have him read a one page, age appropriate news article written for kids and he can’t answer a 5 question quiz afterwards of what they just read. It’s very interesting how he can be so correct with recalling dates off the top of his head but his short term memory is so much different. I just feel like something is going on with this wonderful child of mine. He’s so quirky and ridiculously sweet, I love him to bits but I’m concerned about him. :-/

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Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children and Teens with ASD Level 1


From the office of Mark Hutten, M.A. - Counseling Psychologist

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Learn How to Reduce - and Eliminate - Meltdowns, Tantrums, Low-Frustration Tolerance, School-Related Behavior Problems, Sensory Sensitivities, Aggression, Social-Skills Deficits, and much more...
 


CLICK HERE  to get started...
 
[Note: At check-out, click on RETURN TO MERCHANT 
before leaving PayPal to access this digital product.]

Dear parents,

I'd like to talk to you about my parenting system that significantly reduces problematic behavior in children and teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism (ASD Level 1).

"Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism" is a 4-part downloadable eBook (along with audio instruction) designed to help parents of Asperger's and High-Functioning Autistic kids who are experiencing behavioral difficulties. The program contains prevention, identification, and intervention strategies for the most destructive of autism-related behaviors.

Although ASD [Level 1] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum (i.e., high-functioning autism), the challenges parents face when raising a child on the autism spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an "average" child. Complicated by symptoms associated with the disorder, the HFA child is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels, unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” children and teens do not take into account the many issues facing a youngster with a neurological disorder. Meltdowns, shutdowns, aggression, sensory sensitivities, self-injury, isolation-seeking, and communication problems that arise are just some of the issues that parents of these young people will have to learn to address.

Parents need to come up with a consistent parenting plan ahead of time, and then present a united front and continually review their strategies for potential changes and improvements as the HFA child develops and matures.

[NOTE: At check-out, click on RETURN TO MERCHANT 
before leaving PayPal to access this digital product.]


Kids on the autism spectrum possess a unique set of attitudes and behaviors:

Social Skills— Social conventions are a confusing maze for young people with HFA. They can be disarmingly concise and to the point, and may take jokes and exaggerations literally. Because they struggle to interpret figures of speech and tones of voice that “neurotypicals” (non-autistic children) naturally pick up on, they may have difficulty engaging in a two-way conversation. As a result, they may end up fixating on their own interests and ignoring the interests and opinions of others.

Sensory Difficulties— Children on the autism spectrum can be extremely sensitive to loud noise, strong smells and bright lights. This can be a challenge in relationships as these "special needs" kids may be limited in where they can go, how well they can tolerate the environment, and how receptive they are to instruction from parents and teachers.

Routines and Fixations— These young people rely on routine to provide a sense of control and predictability in their lives. Another characteristic of the disorder is the development of special interests that are unusual in focus or intensity. These children may become so obsessed with their particular areas of interest that they get upset and angry when something or someone interrupts their schedule or activity.

Interpreting and Responding to Emotion— Children and teens on the spectrum often suffer from “mindblindness,” which means they have difficulty understanding the emotions others are trying to convey through facial expressions and body language. The problem isn’t that these kids can’t feel emotion, but that they have trouble expressing their own emotions and understanding the feelings of others. “Mindblindness” often give parents the impression that their child is insensitive, selfish and uncaring.

Awkwardness— Children with HFA tend to be physically and socially awkward, which makes them a frequent target of school bullies. Low self-esteem caused by being rejected and outcast by peers often makes these kids even more susceptible to “acting-out” behaviors at home and school.

School Failures— Many HFA children, with their average to above average IQs, can sail through grammar school, and yet hit academic and social problems in middle and high school. They now have to deal with four to six teachers, instead of just one. The likelihood that at least one teacher will be indifferent or even hostile toward making special accommodations is certain. The adolescent student on the autism spectrum now has to face a series of classroom environments with different classmates, odors, distractions and noise levels, and sets of expectations. HFA teenagers, with their distractibility and difficulty organizing materials, face similar academic problems as students with ADHD. A high school term paper or a science fair project becomes impossible to manage because no one has taught the teenager how to break it up into a series of small steps. Even though the academic stress on a "special needs" teenager can be overwhelming, school administrators may be reluctant to enroll him in special education at this late point in his educational career.

Social Isolation— In the school environment where everyone feels a bit insecure, children and teens that appear different are voted off the island. HFA students often have odd mannerisms. Isolated and alone, many of these "special needs" students are too anxious to initiate social contact. They may be stiff and rule-oriented and act like little adults, which is a deadly trait in any popularity contest. Friendship and all its nuances of reciprocity can be exhausting for the kid on the spectrum, even though he wants it more than anything else. 

As the years go by, are you seeing your child rapidly becoming reduced to a person who is surviving on:
  • anger
  • being a mistake
  • depression
  • hate
  • isolation
  • low self-esteem
  • resentment
  • sadness
  • ...and self-hate?

Have you heard your child say things like:
  • I'm a mistake.
  • I'm dumb.
  • I'm useless.
  • I hate myself.
  • I wish I was dead.
  • What is wrong with me?
  • Why was I born?

If so, then alarm bells should be going off. You know changes need to happen! Low self-esteem and behavioral problems go hand-in-hand!!!

The program "Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism" is guaranteed to (a) improve your child's behavior and self-esteem, and (b) empower parents and assist them in starting to enjoy their amazing and talented child or teen.

Parenting young people on the autism spectrum is tough!  If you don't know how, that is. In this program, you will discover how to:
  • Be your child's best advocate
  • Help her comply with rules and expectations
  • Help him learn positive ways to "work with" his differences - not to "fight" them
  • Learn the specifics of autism-related behavior and how to keep it in perspective
  • Look at mistakes as lessons - not as major set-backs
  • Re-evaluate your expectations
  • Take your power back as the parent
  • Tune-in to who your child genuinely is - not what the stereotypical child is (based on social beliefs)
  • Cope with your child's difficult and aggressive behaviors
  • Understand what is really going on inside her head
  • Help him cope better in the community and at school
  • Keep the peace at home with the rest of the family
  • Greatly improve your child's self-esteem, because "special needs" kids with low self-esteem have very little - or no - motivation to change behavior

==> If you have tried talking, screaming, punishing, pleading, and negotiating - but your Asperger's or HFA teenager still walks all over you… 

==> If you find yourself "walking on eggshells" around your child trying to avoid saying something that will set him off… 

==> If you are tired of struggling with a person who is disrespectful, obnoxious, or even abusive toward you in your own home… 

==> If you are frustrated and exhausted from constant arguing… 

Then download this 4-part eBook, and begin the healing process within 5 minutes from now!

Imagine NO MORE:
  • Begging to get your child to respond to simple requests
  • Getting pulled into pointless, never-ending arguments
  • Energy-sucking power struggles that ruin the whole evening
  • Feeling powerless and stress-out because nothing you say to your child gets through

Now, when you talk, your youngster will listen and respond appropriately. Don’t go another day being a hostage in your own house. Get back in control of your child today.

I can tell you from over 20 years of experience that "bad autism-related behavior" does NOT change without an intervention like the one I'm giving you here. Inside this program, you will get all the tools you need to improve your child's behavior... or your money back!

The problem is that most parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum have tried very hard to get just a little respect and compliance, but with little - or no - success. And it seems the harder the parent tries, the more the child feels frustrated, which often results in tantrums, meltdowns, or non-compliance.

I often hear the following statement from parents: “I've tried everything with this child – and nothing works.” But when they download this program, they soon discover they have NOT tried everything – rather they have tried some things.

You now have the opportunity to learn "cut-to-the-chase" parenting strategies that work immediately rather than weeks or months down the road. And I guarantee your success or you get your money back – and you can keep the 4-part eBook. This is how confident I am that this information is going to work for you!

No, I’m not a miracle worker. But you don’t need a miracle! All you need is this set of proven parenting techniques – specific to the Asperger's and HFA condition – to use with your "special needs" child or teen.

If parents don’t have the techniques outlined in this program, all they are left with are typical disciplinary methods. And as you may have discovered, typical methods don't work with an HFA child.

Here is a partial list of typical parenting strategies. Parents have found these strategies to have little - or no - effect on their "special needs" child's behavior:
  • Trying to "reason" with the child
  • Having heart-to-heart talks
  • "Confronting" the child or being assertive
  • Grounding
  • Taking away privileges
  • Time-outs
  • Counseling
  • Trying to be a nicer parent
  • Trying to be a tougher parent
  • "Giving in" and letting the child have his way
  • Verbal warnings
  • Ignoring misbehavior
  • Medication
  • Having the child go live with his other parent (if parents are separated or divorced)
  • Having another family member "talk to" or attempt to "mentor" the child
  • Threatening to send the child away to a juvenile facility
  • Threatening to call the police
  • and so on...

I’m giving you the chance to break the cycle of confusion and non-compliance …to bring some peace back into your household again …and to keep your child from potential self-destruction. And you can start in just 5 minutes from now!

In the "Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism" program, you will receive:
  1. The Comprehensive Handbook on Parenting Children on the Autism Spectrum
  2. How to Stop Meltdowns and Tantrums
  3. Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management
  4. My audio book entitled “Unraveling The Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism”
In addition, you will receive:
  • The “Parenting Defiant Asperger's and HFA Teens” audio course
  • Access to me, Mark Hutten, M.A., as your personal parent coach (via email correspondence) 
  • My 100%, Ironclad, "Better-Than-Risk-Free" Money Back Guarantee

I say "better-than-risk-free" because this whole package is yours to keep even in the unlikely event you decide to ask for a refund. If for any reason you aren't completely satisfied with your purchase, just contact me within 60 days (that's right – two months!), and I'll give you a 100% prompt and courteous refund...  no questions asked!  I’m the one taking the risk here – not you.

I’ve learned a lot in my 20+ years of working with families affected by autism spectrum disorders. And this counseling psychologist is putting all of his best tools in this one package that can now be yours.

I trust that you’ll take a step of faith here and get started with this on-line program today. 

~ Mark Hutten, M.A.


CLICK HERE  to get started...
 
[Note: At check-out, click on RETURN TO MERCHANT 
before leaving PayPal to access this digital product.]

With this parenting toolkit, you will finally be able to manage your child's meltdowns, tantrums, attention difficulties, behavior problems at home and school, picky eating, problems completing homework, rigid thinking, rituals and obsessions, sensory sensitivities, sleep problems, social skills deficits, verbal and physical aggression ...and much more!


About the Author: 

Mark Hutten, M.A. is the executive director of Online Parent Support, LLC. He is a practicing counseling psychologist and parent-coach with more than 20 years’ experience. He has worked with hundreds of children and teenagers with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism (HFA), and presents workshops and runs training courses for parents and professionals who deal with Asperger's and HFA. Also, Mark is a prolific author of articles and eBooks on the subject.

Contact Information:

Online Parent Support, LLC
2328 N 200 E Anderson, IN 46012
Phone: 765-810-3319
Email: mbhutten@gmail.com


Testimonials :

"Mark.  I just wanted to tell you that I have purchased so many Parenting programs for help with my son with ASD. While they do touch on related issues, they seem to operate on the principle that these kids are from the same mold and will all respond to the same forms of discipline. Your program is the first (and I think the last) one that has actually helped my situation. Thank you!!!" ~ D.H.

"Today I spoke to my son's former counselor (whom I was asking for a referral for another counseling, which I did before I found your program). I told her, 'I think I don't need it for now,' because I found your site. I gave her your site and told her to spread the word about your program, since her job deals with parents and kids of similar problems. Thanks for all the help!" ~ A.D.

"Thanks Mark. I have been very impressed with your advice and felt I should 'pay it forward' as we feel we are getting such extreme value for our money. As such, I sent your email address to the doctor who was 'trying' to help us. Our son was so extremely disrespectful during our visit with the doctor that he was exasperated at the end and told us there was nothing more he could do and so we should consider kicking him out at 18 and prior to that, send him to a home for 'raging' teens if his behaviour continued. I also note that our doctor has a Psychology degree. I know he has many cases such as ours, so I sent him your website to pass on to other parents who would benefit from this resource. Kindest regards!" ~ S.F.

"I just started your program, but I am already seeing an amazing and positive difference in my HFA daughter. We have struggled with her behavior since she was 9 months old. I was humbled and astounded to learn that I was a big part of the problem in the way that I was reacting to her. We actually have some peace in our home and she even hugs us and says 'I love you' on a regular basis. She has  even begun apologizing for getting angry and being unreasonable. The next step is to help her bring her grades up and stay out of trouble at school. I have every confidence that we have turned a corner and I’m referring everyone I know to your program. Thank you!" ~ T.E.

"My Asperger child (high functioning) had been on medication for ADD for several years.  It never seemed to help the way we hoped. His anger was out of control and most of the walls in our home had holes from him punching them.  He was violent with his siblings and distant from us. I found your program while looking for a treatment facility to send him away to.  I knew it was not safe for his brother and sister if he stayed in our home. About 2 and a half weeks into your program we were able to take him off the medication and he continued to improve. (His doctor insisted we were making a huge mistake and that medication was the only way to help him.)  He is changing into a more confident self-controlled person thanks to your program. He used to scream at me how much he hated me.  Now when he does not get his way he will yell, 'Why are you such a good parent???' He will try to sound angry, but he is letting me know he is happier with the way things are now.  He is learning to diffuse tense situations as well.  We have both become better people.  Thank you for giving me my son back." ~ K. M.

"Nothing has helped as much as this common sense advice. We've been to counseling, read books, you name it.  We can't even put into words what we owe you.  Thank you so much for your help." ~ L.B.

"I have purchased your program ... just wanted to say how amazing your work is proving to be.  I work in psychiatry but have struggled to discipline my son and to understand his behaviour.  I have put in to practice the first week session and already it is working.  Your insight into teenagers with Asperger syndrome is amazing... it was like you had written it all for my son and I.  Thank you, a thousand times, thank you.  I’ll keep you informed of J__’s progress." ~ T.J.

"I wanted to say thank you for all your support, sound advice, and speedy email responses. You were the only person I could speak with, and you helped me enormously. I will never forget your support Mark - when I was terrorised and totally overwhelmed, you gave me the strength and support from half way around the world that allowed me to do my very best for my autistic son. God bless you for your generosity of spirit and your great work." ~ V.T.

"I am so thankful and blessed I found your website.  I am incorporating your suggestions into my life with my 15-year-old daughter on the spectrum – and things are going so much better.  We are both trying and, though she still goes to counseling, I feel like I have tools to work with her now.  Thanks a $$$million and God Bless You!" ~ J.P.

"I started using the language and skills suggested and WOW what a difference it's making already! My most defiant Aspie is being positive, kind and respectful to me. It's hard to change, but I'm convinced this is going to work for my family. I've learned that my actions have a direct effect on my child, and when I show him respect, I get it right back! Thank you so much for retraining me!!!" ~ M.H.

"I have seen such a change in myself and my son, it's amazing. Not that the problems are all gone, but simply by saying I'm not arguing and honoring that, even though I've said it before, surprised him (and me) and put an end to so many problems. It was like I was the MOM again. I guess just having the support of the program helped and knowing there were others out there with the same problems." ~ T. A.

"I just wanted to say THANK YOU. I was trawling the WWW at 02.30 for some help and found your sight and thought I would have a look. I sat in tears listening to you... it was like you had stepped into my home and seen the destruction, the tears became tears of relief that I could possibly make a change in my parenting that could help change my child's behaviour, and so I signed up. It has taken me 2 weeks to get though the first part of the program, but I have already seen tiny creaks for the better in all our behaviour." ~ E.B.

"Thank You Mark! Our prayers were answered with your program/ministry.  We are gradually reclaiming control of our family. THANK YOU for bringing love, peace and harmony to our family once and for all this time.  Yes there are still those idle complaints here and there and the occasional gnashing of teeth. But we have seen so many improvements in our special needs child since we, the parents, have changed our perspective and attitude." ~ R.W.

"I wanted to just take a minute to Thank You and to share my results thus far with my teen son (aspergers, high functioning) using your methods. We have been in counseling since February of this year and yesterday, we withdrew. In all these months, I never felt like we were making any permanent progress....just dancing around, two steps forward, one step back..etc. Since utilizing your strategies along with having our counselor as a sounding board, here are some of the things that have changed: arguments are fewer and less in intensity, a prevailing sense of peacefulness has come back into our home, my son has become more responsible, he has become more respectful towards me, I now have less "guilt" about saying "No" and less difficulty MEANING it, and there is no longer any question about who the parent is now. I can only hope and pray and continue to implement your strategies to see that he does move forward into his adult life in a more positive manner." ~ A.S.

"I am very glad to have you here working with us parents and "our" kids.  I appreciate your insight and your "heart" for these kids.  I just watched "Take the Lead", which is based on a true story about a man who made a commitment to teach ballroom dancing to inner city kids in New York who were in "detention" for the remainder of the school year.  No one else would work with them.  His message to them was simple:  have enough confidence in yourself to lead; enough trust in yourself to follow; and to always show respect for others. Very powerful stuff. There are only a few of you around, Mark. Keep doing what you love - it shows." ~ K.H.

“During these past few weeks, my husband and I have been implementing many steps, successfully. Our Aspergers son has been completing his weekly chores with not much complaint.  There haven't been any melt-downs around here, and the few irritable times we've had have been much less stressful. I hope it's still ok to email you from time to time to say hi and fill you in on our progress.” ~ T.P.

"My daughter simply couldn't understand her peers and did not socialize well at all. Unfortunately, she knew when she was being teased and became very hostile toward the teaser. Her retaliation often resulted in her having to leave the classroom and spend the rest of the morning in the "quiet room" all by herself. Fast forward... we have been working on "how to interject" and the SENSE method that you discuss in the material. These two skills alone have made just a big difference in her coping ability and level of empathy toward others." ~ M.K.

“I have fired the counselors, weaned my child off medications, and I am ready to begin the work of becoming a stronger, more focused parent. My soon to be ex-husband has also agreed to purchase the program and we intend on working it together to get our teen back on track. I thank you for your help and guidance.” ~ W.S.

"Glad I found these parenting skills. Wish I had known about it long before now. Would have saved us a lot of sleepless night." ~ B. F.

“I wanted to let you know how much I really appreciate your program. It is full of really practical and easy-to-use information to help parents with their Asperger’s and HFA children, and also the rest of the family. As a journalist, I know a thing or two about writing - and this is definitely put together and written very professionally.”  ~ I.K.

"I wish my child's teachers would read your ebooks. Since I've been working with him, he does much better at home, but school is still an issue - mostly because his teachers don't get it." ~ N.W.

“In just one week of the course, I saw huge changes in my child with Aspergers Syndrome – and even the teacher noticed. He’s a happier person due to this program. Thank you… thank you …thank you!” ~ C.D.


Become THE expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, resistance to change, and much more...

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...