tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post5187270662523532660..comments2023-09-17T04:34:33.856-07:00Comments on My ASD Child: Reducing Parental Stress While Raising Children on the Autism SpectrumUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-4788159536056419882012-11-16T15:49:22.025-08:002012-11-16T15:49:22.025-08:00Anyone looked into Parent Management Training? I h...Anyone looked into Parent Management Training? I hear the methods used in it are helpful to teach parents of kids with behavioral problems how to deal with them, if used properly. I've read up a bit that it's been used with a lot of success for kids with oppositional defiant disorders, autism and such, just wondering if anyone's heard of this or tried it?CoolAsKittenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11529917405034623326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-84546274394898447292012-04-11T02:28:18.140-07:002012-04-11T02:28:18.140-07:00Im reading this in tears, i myself feel so broken ...Im reading this in tears, i myself feel so broken and cant cope with my 2 aspergers boy. i live in a city with no family around and what seem superficial friends. My husband is overseas working and my boys near 4 and near 7,fight, trash the house, mess in one room after the other, never listen help or do as they are told. AND IM SO SICK OF THE SOUND OF MY OWN VOICE. on a road trip we had to cut short due to master 7 pooing himself several times a day and going through 4 rolls of looroall a day, i finally snapped and said i regreted being their mum and wished i had never had children. Master 4 i wanted to leave on someones doorstep and he keeps asking me now to hurry up and leave him on someones doorstep. These are things you should never say to your children....<br />one is lethargic, floppy, not much energy to do anything and the other is hyper racing round making noises all the time LOUDLY, is cruel to the animals,wrecks the house and hates his brother, has night terrors and never sleeps a full nite......<br />im broken and angry and sad and dont know what to do, i cant cope with them at the moment or my house or my own care, i feel ill and my hair is falling out......Every night i want an early night but to get a break and time to myself i stay up too late, then the fighting and humming all starts again far tooooo early in the morning. Its relentless, never ending....and i feel i dont desearve to be a mum, i shout and there hands go straight on their ears, or they run away...at the moment things are bad. Im waiting to cope of things to be better.....even my mum and dad cant cope I have never had a night without my children....sorry to be so negative but today I dont see a brightside...maybe tomorrow will be better!!from mum trying to copeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-46613991017930152292012-01-11T07:12:22.243-08:002012-01-11T07:12:22.243-08:00Dear Mark,
I have been gratefully receiving your e...Dear Mark,<br />I have been gratefully receiving your email newletters. Thank you for generously sharing your knowledge.<br />I have a 13 yr old son with mild learning disabilities , A 12 yr old son with an ASD, ADHD, ODD diagnosis, a 10 yr old son with an<br />aspergers, ADD, ODD diagnosis, and and 8 yr old son who will require some intervention in the near future...<br />I felt i should share with u a comment from my 13 yr old..<br />After a very stressfull week, mstr 13 ran away. Several stress filled hours later he was safely returned home.. when asked what was bothering<br />him he said "mum, to me, the word 'special' mean something extra good! So when you talk about my brothers having special needs, it makes<br />me feel like I'm not as "extra good" as them. So it makes me feel like I'm not as important as them!".<br />This broke my heart to hear. After much consideration and discussion with a friend in exactly the same situation, we have decided that the word special needs to <br />be removed from our houses - in relation to childrens needs.<br />We now have children with 'Different needs'. This has been approved by master 13 and he is now happy to know that he is just as extra good as everyone else.<br />Maybe this could be the topic of discussion for the many other families in our boat.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-38218648760275018432012-01-04T07:21:12.010-08:002012-01-04T07:21:12.010-08:00I know it's not easy but yelling does'nt h...I know it's not easy but yelling does'nt help Aspie kids-leave the room,don't sweat the small stuff and give lot's of positive reinforcements.Good luck.x<br />15 hours ago · LikeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-74478958622430018252012-01-04T04:31:01.783-08:002012-01-04T04:31:01.783-08:00Hi there I am so delighted I found your blog, I re...Hi there I am so delighted I found your blog, I really found you by error, while I was researching on Digg for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thank you for a marvelous post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the excellent work.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-76980800512691173542012-01-03T21:25:32.092-08:002012-01-03T21:25:32.092-08:00My daughter is almost 18, and finally this past Fa...My daughter is almost 18, and finally this past Fall, we discovered that she has Aspergers. I can't tell you how many times we've found ourselves in the situations described above and have felt that we were so alone in our situation. While knowing others are in the same boat doesn't take away the pain, it does offer a lifeline to others who understand.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-74118863223453124032012-01-03T13:26:12.541-08:002012-01-03T13:26:12.541-08:00I can agree when they start yelling & getting ...I can agree when they start yelling & getting down right nasty. It is hard to remain cool. Yet I have learned that if I yell back it makes the situation worse. My son gets so much worse then. I find it best to let him get it out & over with. Then once he is calm we talk about a better way to get the point across without getting nasty. Slowly we are working on behavior modification. It has been 5 months now, he is 8 yrs old. I can say for the most not all the time but there is a positive change. We all can make small changes for the better. It takes time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-61299722133425410602012-01-03T07:59:25.758-08:002012-01-03T07:59:25.758-08:00My son has aspergers and have yelled at him, it ca...My son has aspergers and have yelled at him, it can't be helped, it does not make you a bad parent as you are trying to deal with your daughter and not leaving her to do what she wants x xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-3300710811796758532012-01-03T07:59:08.212-08:002012-01-03T07:59:08.212-08:00Love the quiet peaceful area in the dining room. W...Love the quiet peaceful area in the dining room. We redirect our son & reassure him it is ok to be upset, but not to yell & scream. We change rooms to distract him. We tag team as a family & give each other emotional breaks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-19594019284635849382012-01-03T03:06:39.346-08:002012-01-03T03:06:39.346-08:00Thank you so much for this great webite! It is ver...Thank you so much for this great webite! It is very informative.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-55502903682047786502012-01-02T17:17:25.631-08:002012-01-02T17:17:25.631-08:00First let me say I am so happy that I have found a...First let me say I am so happy that I have found a place to ask questions, vent, and bounce ideas off of. My son is going to be 15 in February. This was his first year in highschool. The district sent him to a least restrictive enviornment in a regular highschool. After daily beatings and bullying that the school would not do anything about.. I took him out of school and am now home schooling him. He now blames me because he has no social life and I took that away from him. He would rather get beat everyday and have teenage "friends" then be safe and no social contact with children his age. Not sure how to handle this but I know I have to keep him safe and his idea of "friends" is not realistic.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-12638786425045194062012-01-02T17:14:44.857-08:002012-01-02T17:14:44.857-08:00we are in the same place with our 9yr old. last ye...we are in the same place with our 9yr old. last year we actually did respite care with a children's crisis center for a day because we had gotten to a breaking point and every adult in his life was at a lost, especially me. It was the best thing I ever did even though no one in my family understood it. He was someplace fun and had people there to help him and very few other kids so everything was 1on1. When I picked him up we both were happier. we haven't been back to in a situation like that again but the daily struggles are enough to test you. I like Nicole's idea, I'll have to try that one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-14777839493386123532012-01-02T17:14:35.029-08:002012-01-02T17:14:35.029-08:00I have a High functioning autistic son. With his o...I have a High functioning autistic son. With his outbursts I sit him on a chair in the corner of my dining room. But on the wall he faces are pictures of his family being happy. And visual aids that say I don't it when mum is angry. A picture of rainbows. Because that is what he likes. And photos of his pets. So he has time to calm down while<br />Looking at positive things, but knowing that mum is angry too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-718774518838513472012-01-02T17:14:21.069-08:002012-01-02T17:14:21.069-08:00I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM WITH MY 12 YEAR OLD SON! C...I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM WITH MY 12 YEAR OLD SON! CHILDREN ARE A FORGIVING SOULS AND I JUST START A NEW EVERYDAY AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESSAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-88795649901329201512012-01-02T17:14:10.108-08:002012-01-02T17:14:10.108-08:00Ease up on the guilt. Sometimes a curse or a shout...Ease up on the guilt. Sometimes a curse or a shout at aspie is not the end of the world. Pik the battles. U r doing ur best. Enjoy the gd days. Let less important stuff like housework slide & concentrate on the family. Xx we hav all been there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-37430148761314537512012-01-02T17:14:00.465-08:002012-01-02T17:14:00.465-08:00can relate we are working on not gettign so worked...can relate we are working on not gettign so worked up... in some ways we just stop and say hold on i need to figure out what your saying.. makes them clamer feeling like its us not them... in truth it is we just dont understand the why or the what at times. there are still time when we just have had enough its time for us to have a time out..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-87376718591448381022012-01-02T17:13:47.837-08:002012-01-02T17:13:47.837-08:00I can relate to almost everything that's been ...I can relate to almost everything that's been said. My daughters 14 & every day is a constant battle. I find leaving her on her own eventually calms her down, her behaviour causes huge issues for all the family. My biggest concern is now she's older how will she cope in the 'real' world?!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-34789145009529522942012-01-02T17:13:37.264-08:002012-01-02T17:13:37.264-08:00I feel the same way with my 8yr old. But the frust...I feel the same way with my 8yr old. But the frustration is even worse for me in trying to maintain control because I also have aspergers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-17759069164037791972012-01-02T13:02:12.294-08:002012-01-02T13:02:12.294-08:00It will get better as they get older. My son is ne...It will get better as they get older. My son is nearly 16 and while other issues develop being a teen (as they have with my non aspie teen :) some of the school difficulties level off. I think the toughest times were elementary to junior high. High school is a bit better. It's not easy raising any child let alone and aspie. Sometimes humor helps, it's pulled me through a lot of embarrassing or frustrating episodes. As our son got older he's been able to explain how he felt during certain incidents from earlier years, it really puts things into perspective. It takes them time to learn to express themselves, but one day your child will be able to explain some of the reasons she acted out. Hang in there, and find time for yourselves as a couple too!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-74137656231135071392012-01-02T12:09:03.794-08:002012-01-02T12:09:03.794-08:00You are not alone...Would love to know how to hand...You are not alone...Would love to know how to handle better...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-80631381839751708512012-01-02T12:08:49.120-08:002012-01-02T12:08:49.120-08:00My wife and I have learned that having a time out ...My wife and I have learned that having a time out location for our son is best. We make him put his head on his knees and sit quietly. This has helped to correct most of his behaviors. He has to tell us why he is in timeout, and he has to apologize sincerely. It is also important that parents work as a team. When one parent is nearing breaking point the other has to take the child away from situation so other parent can regroup. It is important to let the child know that their choices are what gets them in trouble, and that if they make better choices then they can play etc. we have found that many of thesr outbursts are attention seeking as opposed to actually distress. We understand your situation, and you will find what works for your family.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-65060387029107868512012-01-02T12:08:36.778-08:002012-01-02T12:08:36.778-08:00God I thought i was the only parent who felt like ...God I thought i was the only parent who felt like this...<br /><br />My aspie pushes me daily and I try calming soothing words and mommy time outs but he knows the buttons to push n I usually end up yelling. It's not his fault and the guilt stays with me longer then the yelling stays with him. But I'm glad to know others experience this issue... Not just me. How do we correctly handle this?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-20741968446198373252012-01-02T12:08:19.083-08:002012-01-02T12:08:19.083-08:00I feel your pain . I go thought the same thing on ...I feel your pain . I go thought the same thing on a daily basis with my 14 Yr old daughter . My problem is I am losing my patience and always end up yelling and obviously that just makes it worse . If anyone has any advise i would like to know it too !Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-79406868883621228142012-01-02T12:08:09.039-08:002012-01-02T12:08:09.039-08:00Thank you for this article!!!!! I can't wait t...Thank you for this article!!!!! I can't wait to read it! I have a 12 y old boy who has a mild case but r loving house has turned into a living hell :( I've tried everything. Nobody understands unless they r living it. I love him and will continue to support him. I am always educating myself on this and am open to help @ anytime. I can't wait to read the info! Good luck :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-46717414154096384842012-01-02T12:07:54.725-08:002012-01-02T12:07:54.725-08:00With my 18 yr old asperger twins.....meltdowns hap...With my 18 yr old asperger twins.....meltdowns happen at least every 4 hrs......I have gotten better in the last few yrs at not "immediately" screaming....but it almost always ends up in a verbal confrontation and tempers are lost .....when you pick your battles letting some things slide...then you're accused of not disciplining......if you discipline every time something happens ...all you ever do is fight........people who "understand" tell me they dont know how I do it....but they also dont volunteer to help either......and friends?.....those disappear the moment they see their first meltdown.....the only comfort comes when the child is in "good" mode and its all worth it.......I cant listen to the "well meaning" people who tell me that we'd all be better of if I placed the boys in inpatient care........no matter what ....they're My boys......Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com