tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post8376482869902485632..comments2023-09-17T04:34:33.856-07:00Comments on My ASD Child: Behavior Problems At Home - But Not At SchoolUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-23334513630854593642015-09-24T08:25:17.236-07:002015-09-24T08:25:17.236-07:00PLEASE HELP! I have read some of the comments and ...PLEASE HELP! I have read some of the comments and I read the article and this truly describes my 8 yr old. I can't seem to get help from anyone and the doctors that we have gone to, don't take us seriously or they give one kind of meds and when we tell them it doesn't work they tell us, "Sorry then this is a behavioral issue and there is nothing I can do. The counselor that she was seeing diagnoised her with anxiety and intermittent explosive behavior. We can speak so calmly to her and the very littlest thing that she doesn't like to hear or do, she will begin screaming at us to the point that I believe she sees nothing but red but she has gotten so mad to the point that she doesn't remember what she has said or done when she calms back down. <br /><br />HOW DO I GET HER SEEN BY A DOCTOR WHO SPECIALIZES IN THIS? I need someone to test her because I truly believe after reading this and the other article on homework being a meltdown.. she HATES being forced to do it and etc. I'm assuming most of these doctors require referrals.... and I'm not sure how the process is to do this. Anything is helpful.Life, Laughter, Sunflowers & Coffeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10061829315326048653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-44006519533074390552015-09-12T16:19:16.367-07:002015-09-12T16:19:16.367-07:00I am having the same problem with my 4 year old so...I am having the same problem with my 4 year old son in school. School started on the 8th and everyday since he has been out of control at home. Behaviors I thought he had under control are back full force and then some. My son is hitting others, talking back, and not listening at all. We have had more meltdowns this week than the last 2 months. Last year he was in the special ed class room and didnt have these troubles,maybe 2 bad days the entire 2 months he was in school and none in summer school. Hoping some of these suggestions improve. I just bought him a trampoline to help him in occupational therapy so maybe it will help after school too. Aspiemommy30https://www.blogger.com/profile/03968267322742469087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-89463939042087632012014-05-02T03:52:21.964-07:002014-05-02T03:52:21.964-07:00This seems like quite an old post so I'm not s...This seems like quite an old post so I'm not sure if anyone still reads it and I've never posted before so hope it works!! I'm so relived to have read all the posts. My 7 year old daughter is so good at school and never seems to be in trouble. I'm sure the school don't believe me when I talk about her behaviour at home. We have been trying to get help for ages and finally saw the psychiatrist this week who said he didn't get any indication it's Asbergers (even though we have a family history of it) he said the fact that she can make eye contact with her family and interacts with them rules it out!!? Yet in everything that I've read about it, it could be describing my daughter. The tantrums and aggression at home are terrible and now she is getting bigger it is hard to control and affects the whole family. But it's her that I feel most sorry for as life seems to be such hard work! I guess if I don't get a diagnosis I will go with my hunch and just get advice from support groups on and off line. Thanks for reading this. Sometimes I feel like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall!Chelsea14https://www.blogger.com/profile/07858912533881335698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-13411774131535353482012-12-06T21:38:17.399-08:002012-12-06T21:38:17.399-08:00Thank you so much for this - it confirms my though...Thank you so much for this - it confirms my thoughts. My son copes at school and its a different story at home and I'm having trouble getting the school to understand that I need to know whats happened at school....in their eyes he's ok at school so there's no issue.<br />The Lilypad Stationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16078680874747126766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-52480149828604780392012-11-07T15:58:02.445-08:002012-11-07T15:58:02.445-08:00As a teacher who currently has a student who has r...As a teacher who currently has a student who has recently been diagnosed with autism it has been a real help to read your comments as, like a lot of you have said, behaviour can be good at school and a nightmare at home. <br />Thank you for helping me to understand what I can do to help.loubymorrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17619546401331055637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-70696108673223290822012-10-01T13:18:26.590-07:002012-10-01T13:18:26.590-07:00Thank you for asking this question as I thought it...Thank you for asking this question as I thought it was my parenting. <br />Daughter 8 aspie and exactly this problem and nobody wants to helpAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-89556179245358961802012-04-25T06:56:14.714-07:002012-04-25T06:56:14.714-07:00Thank you. I have a very bright and loving 15 yea...Thank you. I have a very bright and loving 15 year old that was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome around 3rd grade when we knew something was different even earlier but could not pin-point. But as school progressively got harder through middle school he started getting very stressed and seemed to not progress emotionally with his friends. Now, in ninth grade, the High School experience has completely shut him down in some instances and he wasn’t functioning well in crowded loud classrooms and his guidance counselor has not been very helpful at all. We have had a 504 plan all through elementary and middle school but high school counselor refused at first and then reluctantly put a limited one they have not followed through with late December which to me was too little-too late for him to be able to catch up or make a difference much less that now they have not followed through with what we had planned for. So, with the increase with issues and seeing him getting lost within himself. I discussed with him Neurologist whom we love and has been with us since the first TS diag. He states he suspected he was high functioning Aspergers. I am trying to find a good therapist/psychiatrist in our area of Nashville now but wanted to learn what I could. The more I read, the more I see things I didn’t realize before. Now, the school barely wanted to deal with just Tourette’s issues. How can I go back with this information. My husband, who denied the TS originally but finally saw that it was real is now back to denial. I was hoping your informational website and newsletters will help me to arm myself in the next battle front of school meetings and such. <br />Sorry to spill all this right out, but I am just trying to learn as much as I can even though emotionally I am hurting about the whole situation. <br /> <br />Thank you for your great website full of info.<br /><br />Mom of a really great kid who just needs to be free!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-39195329906835311872012-04-24T06:28:16.851-07:002012-04-24T06:28:16.851-07:00Hi Mark,
I wanted to let you know that I took yo...Hi Mark,<br /> <br />I wanted to let you know that I took your advice but tweaked it a bit for my own situation. There is a "Animal Adventure" rescue facility near our home in Bolton, MA. I called them and set up a "private tour" for my daughter with aspergers, my other daughter who is 10 and has anxiety disorder and ADHD and myself. For the private tour I drew a "social story" including when we were leaving, how far the ride was, who our tour guide was going to be, were the bathrooms were, what we could expect to see (i.e. snakes, bugs, birds, turtles, tortoises, kangaroos, alligators and much much more - all from different parts of the world) I printed out pictures to add to the story board.<br /> <br />Once she saw the story board and listened to my explanation she got very enthusiastic (animals are her passion). When we arrived our tour guide was ready for us (I told them ahead of time about my daughter) we had such a great time!!! When we were given a chance to pet the animals I went first and talked about my experience (how it felt, smelled like, etc.) then both my kids jumped right in!! They even touched an african cock roach (which they use to feed the many species of frogs that they have). I was in total amazement that just by me not showing fear and letting them experience it through me first made all the difference.<br /> <br />After our trip, the next day my husband set up our new trampoline - she spent the whole day outside!! I know that this will be an ongoing issue, but just to see her outside and smiling for a couple of days gave my husband and I hope for the future.<br /> <br />Thank you so much for your idea.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-6014798609221075802012-04-20T13:28:56.901-07:002012-04-20T13:28:56.901-07:00Our psychologist says it is because it is more str...Our psychologist says it is because it is more structured enviroment in school. They know what they are doing, what time, etc. At home as much we try to maintain an exact schedule at home this can be difficult and set off a spiral of emotions, meltdowns. I have little photo's with different emotions on them and I ask my daughter to point to the one or ones that she is feeling. She doesn't always communicate as well as I would want her too but she knows that they are there for a purpose. I also have a worry box in her room that she can her worries, concerns too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-2451014196456903732012-04-20T13:28:43.238-07:002012-04-20T13:28:43.238-07:00How have people got a diagnosis though if this is ...How have people got a diagnosis though if this is how their child acts?<br />I am almost certain my son has high functioning aspergers but keep being told a diagnosis will be very hard as he doesn't really display any traits at school.<br />Home is very hard work and I'm often at a loss as to how to deal with him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-77921156166098195672012-04-20T03:18:02.540-07:002012-04-20T03:18:02.540-07:00According to me this is because of nearby environm...According to me this is because of nearby environment may be something she like or feel comfort with the environment at school. You need to make environment like school at your home like ask her friends to come at your come to play games and enjoy with her.Aspergershttp://cluas.ie/children/aspergers-syndrome/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-64602700174306618212012-04-19T18:35:11.300-07:002012-04-19T18:35:11.300-07:00I am a nutritionist and noticed early on that my s...I am a nutritionist and noticed early on that my son (comorbid bipolar with <br />Aspergers) had severe mood swings after sweets and periods without eating. I increased protein to every 3 hours and rages, mood swings, and fixation is much improved. High dose niacin and removing casein, gluten, and sugar caused a great improvement in flexibility and tolerance at home. Now melt downs have more to do with what I call social fatigue. Imagine you have to communicate in a foreign language all day, and decode incoming info all day....when you come home you are seriously fatigued and just want to rest, but as a child with Asperger's, you still need to decode and you are now surrounded by people where emotions are charged and boundaries are not as clear. I find that time alone for 30 minutes to half an hour to decompress helps my son tremendously with coping at home. And I find other parents who can be sympathetic and non-judgemental for support, rather than expecting it from professionals who may not understand the true stressors of life with an Aspie child. I find that helps me when I feel overwhelmed. Namaste!Noniehttp://stone-soup.canoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-78147657368979797712012-04-19T08:31:38.554-07:002012-04-19T08:31:38.554-07:00The very first comment on today's is so spot o...The very first comment on today's is so spot on. I figured out with my twins when they first started school that they would melt down the minute they came home...I was baffled at first! Then, I realized that to be home is to be in a place where you can be yourself and just let it out...a home to kids says, "I am safe here, I can trust you because I am loved, I can let it out now.Shannon Gnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-61747690196694363212012-04-19T07:27:34.097-07:002012-04-19T07:27:34.097-07:00Wow! I have had the same things with my 9 year old...Wow! I have had the same things with my 9 year old daughter since she was in first grade and had started to become overwhelmed with the pressures of a demanding school day as well as social misunderstandings. I thought she was bi-polar. Finally, someone agreed with me that she might have Aspergers and she was recently tested and diagnosed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-42871771356890349962012-04-19T05:00:35.428-07:002012-04-19T05:00:35.428-07:00The same thing happens with my 9 year old son. Gre...The same thing happens with my 9 year old son. Great article.Pennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18201382426784732702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-2392470562928179862012-04-19T04:59:15.537-07:002012-04-19T04:59:15.537-07:00We have the same issue here with my 9 year old son...We have the same issue here with my 9 year old son. Great article.Pennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18201382426784732702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-21370283396833664702012-04-18T15:35:48.317-07:002012-04-18T15:35:48.317-07:00My son is now in 4th grade. Never had meltdown at ...My son is now in 4th grade. Never had meltdown at school, teachers couldn't imagine my sons behavior being less than just perfect. I knew school exhausted him. He was doing all he could just to get thru the day. We do very little homework if any. After school time is his time and I place no demands, he gets to stick to his routine. However I will mention school has improved tremendously since adding Celexa every morning. A small dose helps take the edge off so he's not so darn stressed!!! Much fewer meltdowns since adding it!<br />about an hour ago via mobile · LikeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-92073732835748479982012-04-18T15:35:38.745-07:002012-04-18T15:35:38.745-07:00We started a sticker chart at home for our 8yo, th...We started a sticker chart at home for our 8yo, the same hour blocks as school. There is no reward for getting the stickers, just the visual reminder that the next hour is a whole new hour and we can make that one greater than the last. All three iof my daughters (1ASD, 2 NON) come home completely stressed. We eat a bite of candy (helps get sugars in fast) then our snack. We don't talk about school work or school for the first 30 mins. Imagine being at work for 7 hours, coming home and then having to start working on it again, talking about work when you just got out, or getting in trouble from something that happened 6 hours ago, I would be stressed out too. A great thing we do is CHILL OUTS. They are not time outs. A chill out is a time to go and regroup, get away, remove stimuli, etc. I take them, my husband takes them, the kids all do. We just need a moment to regroup before we get a time out, or freak out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-63095854305234878842012-04-18T15:35:23.564-07:002012-04-18T15:35:23.564-07:00The biggest thing is that you won't get the sa...The biggest thing is that you won't get the same behavior at home. Your child holds it together for the teacher to meet the demands of school and is more than likely falling apart at home because they feel comfortable at home. Ideally you would want a balance between the two, but I have the same dynamic at my house. I usually let my daughter have some time to regroup, try to make the car ride home less evasive (prepare her if we need to stop places, provide a snack, and other things to ease anxiety). Redirection is helpful, but sometimes will only prolong the inevitable meltdown. I would see about Occupational therapy if you don't have it already, which would help her regulate herself better, if she is having sensory processing issues. A lot of times kids get so overstimulated at school that by the time they get home they have exhausted all their reserves of patience, and ability to hold it together.<br />5 hours ago · Like · 1Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-43665526000257864762012-04-18T15:34:45.640-07:002012-04-18T15:34:45.640-07:00Another big lesson was asking him what calms him. ...Another big lesson was asking him what calms him. He said "reading" or building Legos"... so now when he is about to have a melt down, I remind him to go calm down in his room for a few minutes. (In the beginning, I ordered him to his room) We made a contract and signed it that we would BOTH go Self Calm when needed and he wouldn't get in more trouble and I wouldn't punish or yell at him. This not only has taught him that he can Self Calm himself and is a power lesson in itself, but it also stopped most meltdowns... even from myself reacting to him. ha ha After everyone in the family has calmed, we discuss the situation at the kitchen table without a lecture or yelling or tantrums. Sometimes he had to go Self Calm many times to get through our discussion, but the process works great.<br />5 hours ago · Like · 1Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-12643653297445822702012-04-18T15:34:26.402-07:002012-04-18T15:34:26.402-07:00One of the biggest lessons I learned from the Boys...One of the biggest lessons I learned from the Boys Town organization was not to punish/restrict these kids for longer than a few hours. I would take away everything for 24 hours when he would hit his sister. But then his behavior would get worse! They said make a Joy Jar (rewards) & a Job Jar (consequence) that they do for 10 minutes. These kids need shorter consequences so they feel they can turn their behavior around and have a fresh start. It was too overwhelming & depressive. It took a long time for all of us to get used to, especially me feeling like a 10 minute job wasn't enough consequence for beating up his sister... But it worked! Lots & lots of jobs in the beginning, but I was consistent, my home got clean, and more importantly HE LEARNED! Now we only have a few Job Jars a week! Life saver!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-45166314571473464952012-04-18T15:34:15.027-07:002012-04-18T15:34:15.027-07:00We have the same issue with our 11 year old. He is...We have the same issue with our 11 year old. He is perfect in school, one of the smartest kids in his grade, even on student council. But once he came home it was another story. He was physically abusive to his younger sister. I got him in the school councilors anger management class with other kids his age. I kept complaining to her and she eventually referred me to an in home counselling service through the Boys Town nonprofit organization who came into our home and helped not only him, but how my husband & I deal with it and proper discipline & consistency. Keep bugging your school councillor. She still meets with him weekly and also does a socialization class which we know these kids need so badly. Hope this info is helpful<br />5 hours ago via mobile · LikeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-55032498722778532052012-04-18T15:34:03.197-07:002012-04-18T15:34:03.197-07:00Guys... What is happening is that your child is sp...Guys... What is happening is that your child is spending EVERYTHING they have surviving at school. If you want them to not meltdown you need to lighten up their days.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-23356035915679426352012-04-18T15:33:35.614-07:002012-04-18T15:33:35.614-07:00It seems to be working but did get worse to start ...It seems to be working but did get worse to start with,i also have a four year old son so i have also done a reward box for him xxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-79227994921609606142012-04-18T15:33:20.042-07:002012-04-18T15:33:20.042-07:00my seven year old daughter is the same,afterschool...my seven year old daughter is the same,afterschool is the worst time of day.Camhs told us to set a short term target from afterschool till bedtime for my daughter to try not to "lash" out at any of the family & if she can manage this then she gets a small reward from a reward box,if she doesnt manage it she loosses the reward,also if she misbehaves then we confiscate a bag of her "special" stones that she collects for one day on top of the cupboard which we explained to her before we started doing this & when she has a violent meltdown providing she is safe we leave the room rather than moving her.<br />6 hours ago · LikeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com