tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post4372721236668626017..comments2023-09-17T04:34:33.856-07:00Comments on My ASD Child: Aspergers/HFA Students and School AnxietyUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-32172491516462246092012-08-21T12:52:10.481-07:002012-08-21T12:52:10.481-07:00My wife has done a miraculous job with our son. He...My wife has done a miraculous job with our son. He has an IEP for testing and additional time for homework and testing. He also, again thanks to my wife’s efforts, has an aid for most the day, since the first grade ( my son would like to be without the aid but the ESE coordinator at school thinks it is a good idea). Our son is in main stream courses and for his first two years of High School was in the marching Band and Jazz Band. The homework load because of after school practices and competitions was petty stressful for our son so he gave up marching band (I would have liked him to continue because there was a lot of socialization and it made him feel very good about himself performing before large crowds.)<br /> <br />For years he has had numerous meltdowns after school ( fortunately never at school, although he would take lots of unnecessary bathroom breaks and on one occasion ran away from the aid and hide in the bathroom). Our son is on no medications, except for 300mg of Trileptal twice a day( a left over from when he had seizures but now to help with OCD). He has difficulty with concentration and focus but we have not followed advise to put him Ritilan etc. The concentration required for school is hard work for him but he copes well at school. Doing homework is a big effort and we have tutors 4 days a week after school to help with homework. He also has instruction on weekends on bass guitar and trombone, which he enjoys. Our son has perfect pitch and can master any musical instrument, but is not proficient at reading music, which is why he is not in the Jazz band this year which is audition based. He is still in Concert Band and one day a week after school will be in a Jazz Combo at school.<br /> <br />We had thought without the stress of Marching Band that this would be an easy year after school. Again for years he has had meltdowns after school, sometimes starting in the car when my wife picks him up. We know the techniques for dealing with meltdowns and most times get our son though it, but my wife is really burnt out, many times reduced to tears by the time I get home from work. She is a full time advocate for my son in the public school system insisting that he be on tract for a regular diploma. The Tutors come about an hour and half after school and by then or because it is the Tutor the meltdown ends. In a mild meltdown there will just be a lot of perseverating. In a big one there will be door slamming clenched fists but thank g-d never hurting himself or others.<br /> <br />Yesterday was the first day of school and there was no stress accept there was a mix up on the location for one his classes, but his aid said he was fine all day. Just a little homework. Major meltdown when he got home which by the time I got home was over. Again we know the techniques for dealing with the melt down. What we do not know is how to teach our son coping skills so they do not occur.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-12691852751396969272012-07-30T13:12:33.902-07:002012-07-30T13:12:33.902-07:00My son is 12.5 he was diagnosed with Aspergers a y...My son is 12.5 he was diagnosed with Aspergers a year ago by the state of Oregon . His Pediatrition and Sphichiatrist then agreed that this was a proper diagnoses. He was priorly diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety, and ADHD at age 8. I have know that he had difficultys from age 2 and struggled to get him help ever since. Fast forward to today- We are strugelling with his school. Theye made up there own diagnoses and said that he does NOT have Aspergers. They claim he is only Emotionaly Disturbed and will give him limited resorces based on this diagnoses. I'm OUTRAGED, He has to ride the little bus because of all the sencery issues on the big bus, He has a shortend day 2.5 hours because he will have a meltdown if he is there any longer, The room they gave him to take a brake in has florecent lighting and has other people in it so he realy gets no sensery brake, The teachers make a specticle out of him when he can't stop doing something and he ends up rolloing up in a carpet and eventualy running away from school. It is a nightmare for us! I leave work most days of the week to go pick him up because they can't handle him. I don't have these problems with him at home and we rearly have any meltdowns. I have my own learning dissabilitys and can't teach him at home. I moved my Hair Salon to my home so I can be here to take care of any problems he may have.<br /> I despretly need to find a place that can educate him and be sensitive to his Aspergers! Im have no money to pay for a private school or tutor. Please help.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-83419168859930922622012-02-20T08:10:59.487-08:002012-02-20T08:10:59.487-08:00I have advocated for years for my 8 year old son i...I have advocated for years for my 8 year old son in a school system that is unwilling to provide even the most basic services. We have been lied to, promised a service, only to have it stopped with no explanation. The stress of dealing with this battle is exhausting. So my husband and I are going to try something very radical next school year and homeschool my son. We are not giving up, we are taking control.<br /><br />He is already actively engaged in Cub Scouts and sees a wonderful psychologist and will be starting a social skills group. We are going to partner with a local church homeschool program and set about giving him the very best education we can. We are praying that all of the energy we have spent fighting and worrying about our son in the public school system can be placed in giving him what he needs to flourish and function in the real world. <br /><br />It's going to be a big change for us, but one I think may change our lives for the best. Love reading the great advice here and seeing that we are not alone in this journey.Stephanie Moorenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-64699868484004255962012-02-20T07:42:34.082-08:002012-02-20T07:42:34.082-08:00I so grateful for this website! My 11 year old dau...I so grateful for this website! My 11 year old daughter does not like school and would like to be home schooled but I was advised to try to keep her in school as long as possible to keep her in the mix with social situations. She is an A/B student who is "bored" all the time and thinks her work is too easy yet she never completes it. I am perplexed! Any advice?Juliethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01636058232881296673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-81907528532224960222011-12-14T06:04:55.078-08:002011-12-14T06:04:55.078-08:00Hello, I know how frustrating it can be to deal wi...Hello, I know how frustrating it can be to deal with the public school system when you are a parent of a child with special needs. My son is 7 and was just diagnosed with aspergers and depression last month. It took me a long time to get an appropriate diagnose. Hang in there. I suggest you learn everything you can about aspergers syndrome. I have spent the last 4 years researching it. Knowledge is a powerful tool. It would be wonderful to get your child in a social skills class if it is available. If its not then I recommend a small social group such as cub scouts. If the groups are small then my son doesn't get over stimulated. Counseling is important. Joining a support group like this one is very helpful too.<br /> <br />My son use to get very anxious and upset easily. His behaviors were out of control. My son started taking 10mg of Prozac about a week ago. He transitions easier now and has a higher tolerance level. Although I don't like the idea of medicating my son, he seems happy now. You have to decide what is right for your family but this is how I am managing my sons aspergers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-43962075513523847052011-12-14T06:04:43.691-08:002011-12-14T06:04:43.691-08:00I am hoping for a little ( Or maybe a lot) of pare...I am hoping for a little ( Or maybe a lot) of parenting advice. My child has not yet been diagnosed with Asperger's but the "expert's" are leaning that way. He is only 5 years old and thus far Kindergarten has been a disaster. He excells at Reading and Math, and is even sent to 1st grade for those subjects. However, he has little to no tolerance for other children and regularly gets aggressive with them. I am frustrated to no end with the school because the class he is in is total chaos and they are unwilling to move him. They don't do anything else either. Their only solution is to call me and make me come pick him up. I have him in appropriate counseling and we are in the process of going through testing. I also give consequenses at home. Nothing seems to work. Behaviors do not get out of hand at home. The problem is only in school. I need ideas!!! I would sincerely appreciate any input. :0/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-818208305647582632011-09-05T10:40:59.799-07:002011-09-05T10:40:59.799-07:00My son has also done that a couple of times, but o...My son has also done that a couple of times, but ower. rule is if you are sick and can't be at school. You must stay in bed and rest or read. If you feel better by dinner you can play in your room. But no tv, computor or video games.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-57590371618514435822011-09-05T10:40:47.321-07:002011-09-05T10:40:47.321-07:00Yep my guy did the same thing....and still does so...Yep my guy did the same thing....and still does sometimes and he is 16. He gets sick everytime things are too stressful at school. I did not believe him at first, especially because he would be fine when he got home. Then I realized it was anxiety ay school. I talked with the school about it and let them know that he is to stressed at school and I needed their help in keeping him in school. While in elementry he had a one on one aide and she could help him escape when he needed it. Middle got alot harder..no aide, so the trips home got worse. Eventually the thing that has worked best as he has gotten older is to have him go to school 1/2 time. He goes to the school part time and works from home part time. He still gets plenty of school interaction but has days home to recoup.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-17538513103479626942011-09-05T10:40:36.336-07:002011-09-05T10:40:36.336-07:00Don't let him play the video games at home tha...Don't let him play the video games at home that day or at least not until all schoolwork or academic activities are completed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-75650114285756365372011-09-05T10:40:27.537-07:002011-09-05T10:40:27.537-07:00Wow ..I can totally relate I have went through thi...Wow ..I can totally relate I have went through this every year with my son and he is now in sixth grade.It is so draining and stressful on the parents.My son would flee the building ,have daily panic attacks,get sick,live in the nurses office.In the morning i would have to pry him out of bed crying,force him to get dressed,have him cry the whole car ride and then grab onto the school building screaming.I would leave each morning crying and then get the lovely phone call to come and pick him up.We tried to put him in smaller classrooms and then the school said he could come half days(which neither worked in our case).Finally the school offered us a tutor and he has been getting home tutored going on 2 and a half years.He continues to have anxiety but not as severe and at least I know how to somewhat manage it.I wish you luck and can totally relate.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-45516639476014131562011-09-05T10:40:16.193-07:002011-09-05T10:40:16.193-07:00From my experience with my daughter it has been a ...From my experience with my daughter it has been a case of 50/50. If you let him do video games when he gets sent home I feel that he may do it just to come for that. If he is genuinely poorly when at home do you still let him do vid games? Maybe you should try saying if he sent home for being poorly then he shouldnt be on them and try to find out if anything is bothering him at school, it worked with my daughter as there was no point wanting to come home as she had to stay in bed. Good luck with it allAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-76480448453494419922011-09-05T10:40:04.459-07:002011-09-05T10:40:04.459-07:00Re: How do I know if my child is really experienci...Re: How do I know if my child is really experiencing some debilitating anxiety over school (has been sent home 3 times so far this school year because he is "sick") -- OR -- if he simply wants to do other things (e.g., come home to play video games)?<br /><br />There’s a big difference between “school refusal” versus “truancy.” You will need to determine which one it is.<br /><br />Criteria for Differential Diagnosis of School Refusal and Truancy:<br /><br />Truancy--<br /><br />• Lack of excessive anxiety or fear about attending school.<br /><br />• Child often attempts to conceal absence from parents.<br /><br />• Frequent antisocial behavior, including delinquent and disruptive acts (e.g., lying, stealing), often in the company of antisocial peers.<br /><br />• During school hours, child frequently does not stay home.<br /><br />• Lack of interest in schoolwork and unwillingness to conform to academic and behavior expectations.<br /><br />School Refusal--<br /><br />• Severe emotional distress about attending school; may include anxiety, temper tantrums, depression, or somatic symptoms.<br /><br />• Parents are aware of absence; child often tries to persuade parents to allow him or her to stay home.<br /><br />• Absence of significant antisocial behaviors such as juvenile delinquency.<br /><br />• During school hours, child usually stays home because it is considered a safe and secure environment.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-22380668669904391162011-09-05T10:39:37.543-07:002011-09-05T10:39:37.543-07:00How do I know if my child is really experiencing s...How do I know if my child is really experiencing some debilitating anxiety over school (has been sent home 3 times so far this school year because he is "sick") -- OR -- if he simply wants to do other things (e.g., come home to play video games)?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-33318147903059481622011-02-20T05:34:29.873-08:002011-02-20T05:34:29.873-08:00Mark,
Do you have any article's relating to t...Mark,<br /><br />Do you have any article's relating to the benefits of children at school<br />having provision for a 'quite space' away from all the other social<br />interactions during the lunch time breaks? Our daughter finds it very<br />difficult to cope with this time at school, I'm in the process of writing a<br />letter to the school (below) and I think it would assist to attached an<br />article in order add weight to our concerns, ie not just over anxious<br />parents.<br /><br /><br /><br />In conjunction with our personal experience and a recent discussion with<br />Jenny Rice, I'd like to ask what can be done by JPC to reduce Amber's<br />anxieties specifically relating to her lunch time at school. As you are no<br />doubt aware one of the impacts of Amber's diagnosed aspergers is a<br />significant reduction in her ability to handle social interaction with<br />others, obviously this manifests itself most during break times.<br />Where other children are able to use this time to wind down from the<br />mornings classroom activities in preparation for the second half of their<br />day, in Amber's case this is a very very uncomfortable time and the<br />associated anxiety does not only prevent her ability to 'wind down', but in<br />fact adversely impacts her ability to cope with the rest of her day.<br />Is it possible for Amber to be provided with alternate options for her main<br />break, not unlike the existing provision for a separate area within the<br />class room for Amber to use during times of high anxiety? Our experience<br />from year one was that the very existence of this option in itself has the<br />effect of reducing Amber's anxiety as it provides her with the comfort of<br />knowing that if she is starting to feel anxiety / frustration building up<br />she can remove herself to a safe / more comfortable environment (self<br />police).<br />A couple of suggestions would be:<br />. a quite room for her (and I assume other children with diagnosed<br />disabilities) to 'break out' and do quite activities during lunch<br />. 'assistant' to the teacher on duty<br />. buddy to prep children and or buddy with upper grade children during<br />her break time<br />. assistant to teachers and aides with preparation for class, cutting<br />up of things, sorting of craft, sharpening of pencils etc<br />These activities could be undertaken for most of the week initially, and<br />progressively wound down as Amber learns to cope with her disability.<br />I assume that this would not have a major financial impact to JPC given that<br />government funding is provided to assist Amber, and while it could<br />potentially impact 'time poor' staff it could conversely assist teachers in<br />that it would reduce the time required to spend with highly anxious<br />(exhausted) children during the second half of the day.<br />Could you please let us know what JPC is willing to do to assist in this<br />area.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-84253477408795215702011-01-22T21:57:50.465-08:002011-01-22T21:57:50.465-08:00I also want to thank you for your weekly newslette...I also want to thank you for your weekly newsletter. This particular article has really hit home for me. When my son began first grade this fall he exhibited almost all of the anxiety symptoms you listed. His overall anxiety about school had been gradually increasing as he was getting older and the demands of the classroom became more and more rigid with each passing year. <br /><br />We finally took the plunge and began homeschool after a particularly unsuccessful and I would say traumatic beginning at a new school for the first grade. Soon after, we learned that our son mostl likely as Aspergers. After 3 months of homeschool, his anxiety symptoms gradually subsided and now have almost all disappeared! He is seven years old now, and I had once believed (for years) that his clinginess and separation anxiety were just a trait of his personality. I was so wrong. <br /><br />Thank you so much!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-26276571982696309452011-01-22T11:35:21.662-08:002011-01-22T11:35:21.662-08:00My first grade daughter who is a perfectly normal ...My first grade daughter who is a perfectly normal child in the home setting is failing in all areas at school and her teachers just can't figure her out. She stares at them blankly and they say there is no reaction or expression on her face. She is too slow in writing, needs to be reminded constantly to keep track and speaks in a low voice when expected to reply or read aloud. At home, although she seems a little unfocused when we do the homework, she understands her studies and knows her spelling, but comes back from school with huge amounts of mistakes and incomplete work. She's a lively kid who plays normally with her siblings and cousin …she is even over-talkative at times.<br /><br />The problem is we're in a trilingual conventional school and in a country where there is low awareness of aspergers and little support to special needs kids. She is still undiagnosed and so am I (I leaned about aspergers only 2 years ago and suspected immediately that I myself might be an aspie). I've struggled to be able to focus throughout school and have had social anxiety/shyness issues as well.<br /><br />We're going to get some professional help soon, but just need to know, is the above behavior typical of an aspie child or could the problem be simply a learning disability or ADD?<br /><br />Her 4 year old brother seems unable to fit in with his peers and follow directions as well and his teachers have expressed concern. They describe him as being in his own world. <br />I'm worried...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-10592990145157655632011-01-19T23:31:26.127-08:002011-01-19T23:31:26.127-08:00If possible for your family, it might be an option...If possible for your family, it might be an option to consider home education. There are a lot of Asperger's children doing home ed. It's such a joy to watch them flourish! For further information on home ed, go to www.hea.asn.au<br /><br />Regards<br /><br />MarionAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-51312102858870484042011-01-12T10:03:28.080-08:002011-01-12T10:03:28.080-08:00Mark,
I just wanted to thank you for your w...Mark,<br /> <br /> I just wanted to thank you for your weekly newsletter. It has helped me so much the last few months and I am more convinced than ever that my 9 year old daughter has Aspergers.<br /> <br />My daughter has never officially been diagnosed with Aspergers, but I have suspected this was going on since she was about 4 years old. We took her in to see a Developmental Pediatrician and she did do some Occupational Therapy, but they seemed to determine she only had some sensory issues. However, all the information I filled out for them pointed to her being on the spectrum. They asked that her teacher at the time fill out the information as well and that information did not put her on the spectrum, but my daughter had only been in her class a short time when she filled it out, and she is able to really pull herself together at school for whatever reason. <br /> <br />We are very fortunate that our daughter is one of 4 girls in our family and she is able to really "model" herself after her older sisters, but we do deal with so many of the issues that you discuss in your newsletters. Meltdowns, sensory issues, poor sportsmanship, poor handwriting, extreme lack of social skills. My daughter is quickly becoming less mature socially than her 7 year old sister. <br /> <br />Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that your newsletters have been a Godsend for me in helping me to deal with her Aspergers. I am always amazed how spot on your details and suggestions are! So thank you for what you do and please know that you are really helping families out there!<br /> <br />Sincerely,<br />StephanieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com