tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post2697934054720879016..comments2023-09-17T04:34:33.856-07:00Comments on My ASD Child: What To Do When Your Aspergers Child Doesn't Have Any FriendsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-11268996051340236902017-03-16T20:37:41.358-07:002017-03-16T20:37:41.358-07:00My daughter is 7 and has autism. She is very high ...My daughter is 7 and has autism. She is very high functioning. In pre-K she was one of the most popular kids in class. In Kindergarten I was her teacher at a small private Christian school so she was not left out. Last year we spent 9 months in a suburb of Dallas while I had spinal cord surgery and went through the healing process. She was bullied really badly and after the school ignored it, I homeschooled her for several months. This year she is in the public school in our small town in Montana. She goes to school with friends from church, people we know in the community, and others. I can tell you she still feels different and "weird" but she has 11 close friends she plays with. This is because her teacher and the administration at our school take a very pro-active approach, not just to anti-bullying, but to "friendship lessons" in school. Three times a week her teacher sends her for "friendship playtime" and she gets to choose anyone from her class to go. It's considered a privilege. It's helped her gain esteem in her class with her peers. The class discusses ways to include everyone in play and they are given awards when the teacher sees them being kind to each other. These are things that make a difference to us and the rest of the community. This article is very correct in suggestions and I appreciate the suggestions by the parents. However, as a parent of a child in the school, and as a member of our community I am not powerless to present solutions to the school administration and teacher for helping my daughter be accepted. And I can swing a pretty big hammer if I decide to. Any parent can. It is the school's responsibility to provide your child with a positive experience while he or she is in your care. Be proactive and make sure that your school is doing it's utmost to take care of your child and his or her needs as well as the other children in your school who may have needs. My daughter's therapist recommended I read "Perfect Targets Aspberger Syndrome and Bullying". I'm glad I did. It explains why children with Autism are often singled out by their peers and bullied and why no one steps in to help them, including school officials. It is worth a trip to the local library for if you have a child with Autism. I wish you all good luck with your children and your schools. Please don't take all the responsibility on yourself. Make everyone do their part. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08453565275691482212noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-2490574297963913712011-08-21T20:34:07.761-07:002011-08-21T20:34:07.761-07:00I really liked the article, and the very cool blog...I really liked the article, and the very cool blogAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-38986386277753051092011-07-15T11:55:16.931-07:002011-07-15T11:55:16.931-07:00What about Track and Field?What about Track and Field?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-27398944480110373502011-06-15T10:44:22.976-07:002011-06-15T10:44:22.976-07:00Wonderful article, thank you. For our son we foun...Wonderful article, thank you. For our son we found that using a smaller frame bike than he would normally ride and removing the pedals so that his feet are firmly planted on the ground is working. (still a work in progress tho) He can control the balance and his feet don't get caught up on the pedals.<br /><br />Another thing that I have done is practice yoga with him. There is even a book on yoga for children with Aspergers. This helps his balance, self confidence and with breathing techniques he is able to calm himself down in stressful situations.<br /><br />I know that sports are huge factor in children's lives but thankfully today there are many other options for all kids to fit in. I think we as parents have to guide them to where they are comfortable and in turn be comfortable with where they are.Colleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14131644818979086046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-14858995103148821582011-06-15T07:35:51.706-07:002011-06-15T07:35:51.706-07:00Hi all,
I have been a part of this group since 20...Hi all,<br /><br />I have been a part of this group since 2001, when my son, Jeremy, was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I didn't know where to turn, what to do, how to cope. This group has been my life-line since then and was always a place I could turn to to gain information/help or just to vent. I am on the upper end of things as he just turned 19 yesterday. These years prove to have different challenges than there were in the school years. He's been given a lot of help (thanks to a WONDERFUL case manager) to gain a lot of self-advocating skills. Going to the vo-tech school and learning about graphic communications has been the answer for him. He LOVES it. He has enjoyed it and has really found his niche! It caused him to LOVE going to school for the first time in his entire life. (This was his senior year). He went back as a post-grad to finish up with the 2nd year of the class.<br /><br />He took tests (YES TESTS!!!!) that has given him major skills certificate and certification in areas of the field he is working in/towards. He has his "graduation" from the school Monday night and he walked away with TWO scholarships in the amount of $1000 each!!!!!! He had to apply for the scholarships himself. Writing, as you know, is not his forte at ALL!!!!! Yet, he had to write the essays in order to be considered for these scholarships! I think everyone in the United States could have heard my husband cheering for him after his name was called for the 2nd scholarship! It was a VERY proud day for us! I think Jeremy was surprised and was a little pleased with his accomplishment. He is going to try college (community college) in the fall. So we will be back at having to deal with getting through "school" again. But at least this is a good start. He's learned to ride the bus to and from school this year, and this bus line has a shuttle directly to the<br />college campus, so he will be doing that. (He already went on it once by himself and figured out which bus to take and how to get there!)<br /><br />So I just wanted to pass on this encouragement to all of you. It has NOT been an easy road to this point. School life has been a nightmare at times and until we got the OCD under control, it's been awful. We still have times where his unwillingness to so something drives me absolutely mad, but thankfully we can get through those times fairly quickly now. It has been a lot of work on both our parts, but we have made it to this point! Even though we didn't think we'd get this far, we have made every avenue possible if he chose to take it and work for it. I never thought he'd want to go to college. Didn't think he'd ever find anything he liked enough to do it. But he loves what he learned through graphic communications and has even impressed the teachers VERY much.<br /><br />So all of this is possible. May not seem like it along the way, but I hope this helps encourage all of you for your children.<br /><br />-MelAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-75609663877516752012011-06-15T07:00:17.316-07:002011-06-15T07:00:17.316-07:00Audra Lynn Pfeifer Morgan Same with my daughter at...Audra Lynn Pfeifer Morgan Same with my daughter at 17.. only she KNOWS that others make fun of her. :(<br />14 hours ago · Like · 1 person<br />Jan Howarth My son is 10 yrs old and prefers adult company to children his own age. He trys his best at sport but has no coordination. He prefers drawing, reading and anything creative<br />14 hours ago · Like · 2 people<br />Michelle Rocque-Branscombe My son, who is 17, and I volunteer at a training centre for special needs people. I am amazed at the unconditional love that these people have for everyone, including my son. He knows that they care about him, accept him, and call him FRIEND. As a parent, it is an answer to many prayers.<br />2 hours ago · Like<br />Michelle Rocque-Branscombe For those with younger children, I wonder if Special Olympics would be a good idea? (And for older children too, of course.:)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-55631414932394456882011-06-15T07:00:04.278-07:002011-06-15T07:00:04.278-07:00Hallie Stollman Middlebrooks
my Aspie couldn't...Hallie Stollman Middlebrooks<br />my Aspie couldn't hop or jump at all when he started Tae Kwon Do at age 5. He now -10 months later -can hop on one foot across the room and jump over obstacles. You have to find a class that knows how to deal with your child's special circumstances. My son loves earning stars and belt colors and has really grown from being in both the class and after school program at the studio. He is now going to camp at the studio - his choice. I like that he's among the younger kids there - he is modeling after the older kids (some of whom are black belts at 12, 13 yrs old). Amazing progress but I know it's probably unique to him.<br />16 hours ago · Like · 3 people<br />Faith Lee<br />Even though most of the people involved in his life are older than him, over the last few years we've been fortunate to meet some really great ppl who have helped my son greatly. His Boy Scout troop has been awesome, the Troop leaders helped him acclimate to the kids and vice versa. He is currently at one of the Scout Camps as a counselor in training. I also have a really great friend who not only has a lot of the same interests as my son, but has agreed to be his "big brother". Not only has taught him a lot about friendship, but introduced him to Wing Chun, a martial art he really seems to like. It's taken a lot of patience, perseverance and tears, but the changes in him have been astounding. He's still himself, but much more relaxed with himself. He still has his melt downs, and we do have certain schedules and items that need to be kept close at hand, but I'm so very Proud of him. :)<br />15 hours ago · Like<br />MumtoJ my son is 5 and can't pedal a bike, he's not interested in sports such as soccer, too much co-ordination and too many other kids, but oh boy he's great at long jump and the tricks he can do on a trampoline :) I'm considering martial arts of some kind, I've heard that it's great for all kids (but especially Aspies) :)<br />14 hours ago · Like · 1 personAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-65982450459151745282011-06-15T06:59:49.923-07:002011-06-15T06:59:49.923-07:00Katrina KitKat Riesgo
Its Me & My 6yr old as w...Katrina KitKat Riesgo<br />Its Me & My 6yr old as well! He did Soccer, Tried football, No like, & is NOT INTERESTED! He Needs training also has minimal coordination & balance.. He LOVES Music, wants to learn the Guitar & Drums.. & Refuses Martial Arts :/ I FEEL & UND...See More<br />16 hours ago · Like · 2 people<br />Crystal Lynn Avila I know exactly what you mean. My son has dealt with the same challenges:-(<br />16 hours ago · Like · 1 person<br />Leigh Schilling Edwards<br />*sigh* My daughter has the same issues - she simply can't understand her peers and does not socialize well at all. Unfortunately she KNOWS she is being teased and can become very paranoid. I like the idea of individual sports - horseback riding, martial arts, fencing... you just have to find something he is OK at. It's hard when our kids aren't very coordinated, but sports can improve their muscle tone and coordination.<br />16 hours ago · Like · 2 people<br />Bridget M Venetta That is so my 8 yr old daughter. :( wish the world was a kinder place for our kiddos.<br />16 hours ago · Like · 3 people<br />Mary Alice McGinn Vickers<br />I was told that after 18 no one checks your age card for peers. .such as "Hey my names Mary I am 35 but we can't eat lunch together because your 42" So we chose not to check the age card for our son we saw that he learned age appropriate skills and interacted at school. But If a great saturday was hanging out with the Profs from the university talking weather rather than playing ball so be it. As a highschoo grad he now even plays a pick up game or two!<br />16 hours ago · Like · 4 people<br />Dawn Allison-Baumhoff Wow- I couldn't have said it better myself<br />16 hours ago · Like · 1 personAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-11660928101877682712011-06-15T06:59:33.498-07:002011-06-15T06:59:33.498-07:00Hallie Stollman Middlebrooks I put my Aspie into T...Hallie Stollman Middlebrooks I put my Aspie into Tae Kwon Do. It's individual, energetic and he has fun even though he's not great at it. It has improved his coordination, balance, turn taking, and even his interactions with other kids. Highly recommend it!<br />17 hours ago · Like · 4 people<br />Eliza Edwards My 8 year old has a very hard time with his peers. He's very sensitive and gets confused and upset when kids want to do other things than he does. We've been playing frisbee and he loves kicking a Nerf football, but he's afraid of getting hurt.<br />17 hours ago · Like · 5 people<br />AshleyandJustin Fenton I think it bothers some of us more than it does them..my son cant maintain friendships either but im happy that hes content playing alone..sad for me but doesnt bother him..<br />17 hours ago · Like · 5 people<br />Amanda Branton Brown This is my son and I everyday.<br />16 hours ago · Like · 2 people<br />Tom Wyrick<br />As AshleyandJustin said, I think the problem is only *really* a problem if he expresses the interest in having friends and can't figure out why he's repeatedly unsuccessful at it. I know when I was a kid in school, I wasn't real coordinated either and didn't care for organized sports. Consequently, I got left out of a lot of social activities - being in a school where both the classmates AND the teachers put a lot of emphasis on sports. I wasn't always really happy about my situation, but I wound up "being myself" instead of catering to what OTHER people thought I should do in my free time. Eventually I made 2 or 3 friends who shared some of my interests and I was far better off playing by myself or with them than constantly trying to play sports I didn't enjoy, in a futile attempt to make friends based on false interests in common.<br />16 hours ago · Like · 7 peopleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1527055659904040434.post-60028436807735666202011-06-14T17:56:34.321-07:002011-06-14T17:56:34.321-07:00This was an excellent answer and I have a child wi...This was an excellent answer and I have a child with the same issue. My ds is 9 and although he gets along with peers at school most of the time, he has only one or two friends who are true "friends", i.e. children who reciprocate and enjoy his friendship. One friend's parent has a nephew with Asperger's and is an elementary school teacher, so we are very lucky, in that she encourages her son to accept my ds for who he is.<br /><br />A couple of things that have helped for us. My ds is also not coordinated at all, so we enrolled him in martial arts to help him build confidence, coordination, flexibility and discipline. Since it is not a team sport but a matter of personal improvement, the coordination issues seem to matter a lot less. Also, we bought my ds a "go-kart" type vehicle, that he can sit low in and pedal like a bicycle. His friends think it's cool and want to take turns on it, and don't mind that ds uses the pedal-kart instead of a bike to play.<br /><br />In addition, although children with Asperger's can understand that they are "different", they often don't understand social convention, which causes many of their social issues. We found a social skills group at a local children's hospital, where children participate in a program that is designed to take the social skills that they may intellectually know, and teach them how those skills practically work. Such a social skills group can help develop pragmatic language in a child with Asperger's, and the child gets to meet others similar to him or her at the same time.<br /><br />Finally, we are very open with my ds about his challenges. He knows that he has autism, and that his autism is the reason he has difficulty relating to friends. He also knows that his autism is the reason why he focuses so well on favorite activities, and is a whiz at math and science. Autism is part of him, and knowing that helps him understand himself, but doesn't excuse behavior that is inappropriate. <br /><br />Thank you for the blog post!Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13823201903696592048noreply@blogger.com